TTC for fabulous 40+

[xserialshopper]

I've decided to start the new thread

Anyone coming to join me?

Don't worry - we know what you mean Juicy

Sussex so sorry about your MC. I too admire your positive attitude. But it's also ok to feel cr@p too - we know only too well here don't we?

Empathising strongly on the "snot fair! all these feckin friends having the audacity to reproduce - biatches!". I even have two friends just having TWINS! They dare to have not just one but two blinkin babs - each! My old and dear friend who I do not begrudge at all lives 3 hours away but the other friend who is more of an acquaintance, I get to see her double bundle this friday and am sort of dreading it.

Went to the 1st appt at the fertility clinic today. Have done some blood tests and now have a HSG booked which I'm dreading as have really painful smears and an internal vag scan booked so ditto for that. At least we'll know a bit more where we stand by the end of the year.

How's everyone else? xx

hello all. Now on CD30 (usually about 28 days), but did test yesterday and it was neg but it was in the evening, and I didn't really have enough pee to do it, so not sure where I am. Just going to have an oddly late period? No symptoms that I can put my finger on. What do you think, ladies?

It's very confusing. I'm going to wait and if af hasn't turned up tomorrow will get another test and do it on Friday when I wake up.

Hi everyone. My last post - about the MC and DSD's matching baby - was the first time I have let all that out. I was but now actually feel much better for it...thank you SO MUCH for understanding and similar stories. Probably the worst bit has been the guilt for feeling like a BAD PERSON for not being able to just switch over to coochy-coochy-coo mode with this baby - my DH first grandchild, which should be a lovely thing, but just ISN'T - for me. Aaarrgh...

Anyway, on the positive side (and let's hope it will be + ) I've started FertilityFriend charting (thanks Fiend) and according to that, we timed it just right this month!! So, as for all of us... we wait and see...

Rhetorician - 2 days late isn't much, I guess. Maybe for you, it is still to early to register, although the HPT are apparently pretty reliable. As some may know, I was REALLY late last month but BFN over and over again. In the end, AF arrived at day46. The general view was that it was an anovulatory cycle where the progesterone didn't kick in. Anyway, I'll keep fingers crossed for you, but try not to spend every minute thinking about it and googling "why is my period so late" (speaking from personal experience!!)- that way madness lies...

Hi Grownup, just saw your post. Yes it can happen and i would encourage all of you not to give up i am now 29+6

i really think what did it for me was getting acupuncture. also, i think genetics is also a factor. My mother did not get her menopause until she was 54 and she had my youngest brother at 43 yrs old.

Rheotician, it is so hard to wait, i know. when i was ttc, i spent so much money on test sticks !

Sussex, so sorry to hear about your mc

Thanks for the encouragement, Heron! (How old are you?) Can you tell me more about the acupuncture? I have been having reflexology, but to no avail - although it is very enjoyable and relaxing, which can't be bad.

I am drinking coffee as I write, and simultaneously beating myself up for this. And for the 2 glasses of wine last night. How perfect to we have to be to make this work? Does anyone know? What do you all do?

hi all; af just a bit late. Not sure where to go from here, as this is now month 7 of ttc and not a glimmer of anything. I feel like giving up.

hi grownup
try not beat yourself up about coffeee and the odd drink! it should not matter.

i am 43 march next year, so i am no spring chicken

i had acupuncture at zita west clinic london. the main point of it is to enhance my fertility. and i definitely noticed the difference, for eg, more EWCM. and also we used Pre-Seed. and of course, lots and lots of BD during that fertile week. poor husband was so tired, i was jumping at him ! i think it was around 5 times per week. the acupuncturist said that 5 times a week is required! sorry if this is too much information!

also i took zita west vitamins.

how old areyou? and are your periods regular?

Aunty Flo definately sent me a postcard today. She's on her way. Cow.

Just after that had lunch with 2 v.pg friends. Am I a masochist? Blardy mental anyway

Oh bad luck Juicy. Next month, then...

Heron - my period are very regular and with no problems associated. I am 44 (as of 2 wks ago) and I've had a hormone profile which was really fantastically positive. So I am hopeful, but really want to do whatever I can to make this happen. I went to Zita West, too, but haven't had the accupuncture - I thought the clinic just did that if you were having IVF (which she told me was a waste of money at my age... thanks very much!). Did you just have one month of treatments, and what was the regime?

Hello, everyone!

grownup, may I ask at what point you went to your GP after your mc? Please feel free to tell me to mind my own business - it's just that I went into work today and after 3 solid hours of sobbing, was finally sent home, but it has only been a week since the mc.

Just struggling a bit at the moment and am not sure whether to take more time off (feel really guilty about this, as work for the NHS), wait for a week and see if I need meds to prop me up or just go to work and get on with it.

Should I visit GP re fertility referral. Or would that be waste of time?

Already had tests 3years ago and all was well then, but it may have changed??

Sorry x'ed posts with you sussex. Definately take a few more days off. Everyone is different. Try again in 2 or 3 days, but ONLY if you feel up to it.

Take as much time off as you need. There are no rules.

Re GP. Am in similar position. Don't know whether it's worth a go.

For god's sake Sussex, get yourself off work RIGHT NOW. Go and see your doctor today and tell him you are just not coping with the emotional side and need some time. I am absolutely certain he will sign you off. My job is in music education, so I also felt really guilty - you have such a sense of responsibility to the people who rely on you. But I found everyone was prepared to cover for me and help me during this time.

Also think about it this way - you need to minimise stress to conceive. If you are emotionally battered by this and trying to work, you are certainly not doing that. So you are now TTC under less than ideal circumstances - and let's face it, at our age we don't have time to mess around. Every cycle counts.

So get some time off, recuperate, do some nice things for yourself. And then you will be TTC with everything going your way, to a hopeful outcome. Good luck xxx

hello - so in case you didn't notice my last post, not pg again this cycle and feeling very despondent about it - time is ticking on and I'm starting feel that this is the beginning of the end. Anyway, just have to get through it the best I can, I suppose.

Rhet Sussex I feel so sad for you both Don't really know what to say..... It's such a sad experience

thanks xserial beginning to feel that I am going to be stuck here forever piling up BFN after BFN before concluding that it's time to give up. Depressing, really. At the moment I wish that I'd never started on the TTC train and just accepted that I wasn't going to have children and put my energies into other things. I know this will all fade away and feel like it's worth it if I do have a child, but right now it just feels really pointless and kind of self-destructive.

But I'll probably be more cheerful tomorrow as the whole merry cycle starts all over again...

Thanks for the hug - needed that

Rhet, I knoooow! It's very hard isn't it! I've been up and down as well, and have concluded that you do have to treat TTC as 'business as usual' and get on with the rest of your life.
Sussex please take it easy and think how you would advise a colleague in this situation - if you would tell them to see the GP and take more time, then I'm sure your colleagues would give you the same advice. That sounded a bit weird, I think I am saying that you have as much right to your recuperation time as any one else you work with. I hope you start to pick up soon, please take care of yourself and keep talking to us/other people.
Some funny stuff has happened here - I contacted the clinic here about IVF and the helpful lady there discovered that the request for a second opinion about HSG had been 'filed' by mistake. This morning I received an appointment to see a consultant that I already know - who is lovely, so I may cry. I think this is the second opinion then.
However, in the meantime I was informed that the first IVF appointment is a 6 week wait and there is a 6 month waiting list for treatment, although they do have a cancellation system where they contact you to start immediately whenever there is a cancellation (apparently quite common).
In the meantime I have emailed the clinic in Hungary for an appointment, as I think treatment there would be a lot quicker. I have asked for an appointment in December if possible with a view to starting the whole procedure some time in January and going back in February (when the university is quiet) for the in vitro bit and the embryo transfer.
Still not sure how this is all going to work out, but am now fed-up with not making a decision, so am jumping in.
Even if I go to Hungary, I'm still not committed and can still go with the local clinic.
Aaargh! Nervous wreck!
Xserial - how are you getting on. Have you had a check up since having your tubes unblocked? Do you have a scan or anything?
Are you still finishing your clomid?

hi grownup
i had 2-3 months worth of treatment. the regime was a treatment just after period. one before ovulation, one after and one before period. so 4 times per month really.

my acupuncturist was Eva and she was very good and gentle.

also, another thing: i only have one ovary, the other was removed when i was 5 months pregnant due to a tumour.
good luck!

rhet I am so sorry and am sending you a big, fat sussex hug, too. Please don't give up. It's so hard to know what to say without sounding glib, but I really sympathise.

Thank you for telling it to me straight, grownup, I needed that . It just makes me feel extra bad that everyone around me in the NHS are so unrelentingly and genuinely supportive - I'm also getting my fair share of free clinical psychologist time at present!

We have an appointment at our local fertility clinic on Saturday, am so happy I didn't cancel, as even though we've had to go private, it's still a three month wait to be seen. Need to pull myself together beforehand, as don't want to be spending ££s and just sit there blubbing for an hour . We are going to have the usual tests and talk about IVF, too. grownup, I also started a course of acupuncture, but found out I was pg after the first session. Am going to regroup with the acupuncturist once I'm on an even keel again. She lives in our village, but also practises in London, specialising in fertility and has a particular interest in us oldies. Let me know if you'd like her details.

rowing wish you all the very, very best for Hungary. Yes, you do have to jump straight in - better than not do it and regret it, do you think?

juicy - given the wait times and how things can change (I appear to have sprouted loads more fibroids since May), I'd def go for a referral, even just to reassure yourself!

Thank you, everyone, for your kindness - big hugs and Green and Black's Butterscotch all round.

Trying to conceive number two at 43 (had first baby at 41). I had an ultrasound scan yesterday to see if everything was in order and they said my womb lining was a 'bit thin' at 6mm on day 20 of my cycle. I wondered if anyone had any suggestions of things I could do to thicken up the womb lining?

MGM - have only found this on the net:

www.ehow.com/how_2039104_thicken-uterine-lining.html

Sure there must be natural helpers too.

Sussex - hope you're feeling better soon x

Rowing - good luck for Hungary xx

So sure AF is on it's way. Boo Buggar Hiss

Rhet, I think if we give up, we'll look back in ten years' time and wonder what might have been. I sit here now wishing I'd tried ten years ago for a LO.
Rowing, good luck in Hungary. Hope it all goes well if you do decide to have treatment there or locally.
Sussex, may I swap my Green and Black's Butterscotch for the mint variety?

Oh tabitha, that's exactly how I see it, try everything now and you'll always know you did everything you could. I sometimes curse myself for spending so many years with my ex husband and wishing I'd met DP 10 years ago, but I think madness lies down that route.

Don't tell grownup, but I've come into work today, as am suddenly feeling much brighter. They've left a huuuuge box of Maltesers on my desk, which I've resisted so far........ Oh, sod it (rips open packaging and tips entire box down throat)

glad you're feeling a bit better Sussex. Don't work too hard