TTC for fabulous 40+

[xserialshopper]

I've decided to start the new thread

Anyone coming to join me?

grownupbabes - just found this site when I was looking up B6 and there's some useful info on there - think all of the topics in the 'Preconception' section (menu on the left) should be relevant:
here

Would also recommend fertilityfriend.com for charting, it's free to use the basic programme (despite my name I'm not a rep for them )

I've been too nervous to ask the GP about fertility issues as well - not sure why, possibly because they might be dismissive about chances at my age (I'm 43), and also worrying that if we haven't started doing anything about treatment by now, then it's too late to start. But it would be nice to find out whether my hormone levels are still in the fertile range.

Juicy - lol at bum in the air, that's one I haven't tried, guess it makes sense

Another question, is having a bath soonish after intercourse disastrous for conception? How long does it take the sperm to swim 'out of harm's way'???

Juicy - thanks for that. I've heard about the cough medecine and I guess the grapefruit is in the same category. I don't seem to have a problem with the mucus, so perhaps its not necessary - or on second thoughts maybe the more mucus the better. Oh well, what's to lose from drinking a bit of grapefruit juice? Not so keen on the cough medecine idea though (unless I have a cough).
I don't know anything about royal jelly - am off to google it! As for bottoms up - I guess it's just assisting gravity. Can't do any harm!!

Fiend - thanks for the tip about FertilityFriend. I've looked at that and have signed up to start "charting".
As for seeing the dr about the hormones, I was terrified of being laughed out of the surgery. So it was good that I had an excuse, insofar as my cycle went so haywire. But it was scary! What can I say - I totally understand not wanting to find out bad news, but as you know in my case it turned out to be great news... so maybe you would have that encouragement too. On the other hand, if it does pinpoint some problems, it gives you the chance to try and rectify them, so it obviously makes sense to take your courage in hand. On balance, I would say, do it if you can.

I use this one

www.irena.co.uk

No idea if it's better or worse than others. I used it last time and got pg 6 weeks after starting it. This may of course be a hugh coincidence and nothing to do with concieving.
I had had mmc 3mths before, so may be more to do with that.

Hi all,

Thanks fiend, for your thoughts on opks, I do get lines so the tests are not duffers and last month I had a positive but I haven't been testing twice a day - will try that next month!

Hi - how's everyone doing today?

Thanks for the encouragement grownupbabes, I'll start psyching myself up to go to the docs

gonepearshaped - Good that you're getting lines on the opk's I think - I tend to get lines of varying strength (often v pale) for around 5 days in a row at ov time, but the 'proper' positive seems to happen only for a few hours (for me anyway) so it's easy to miss it. I use the ebay cheapy cardboard strips so that it's not a big deal to use loads of them, they're about 16p each and seem to work okay. There's also a site called peeonastick.com which has a good faq section on opk's

Feeling much more human today (CD5), am taking 60mg B6 and have decided to stop the AC for now. Prob didn't give it enough of a chance but was a bit freaked by the 9 day luteal phase thing.

Hi Fiend and Juicy - thanks for the websites, they are really useful. The royal jelly is quite pricey... what with the relexology, HPTs, and everything else it all starts to add up!
I've been reading about the ClearBlue fertility monitor - anyone got any experience with this? It looks amazingly useful... better than POAS OPKs. But once again expensive. On the other hand, cheap at the price, if it works!!!!
Friday night so to hell with it - I'm off to have a glass of wine.

hi juicy
ur right, time has just flown by. how are you doing?
i have been lurking

Hi Heron - haven't met you before so I went back to find you and see you are ohmigod 28+4, scanning and everything. Presumably this means IT CAN HAPPEN????
As a recent joiner to this thread, I would love to hear what success there has been. Are we just delusional? Or can it really happen for us? In my heart, I honestly believe I am going to succeed... but when I scour the net (which I do way too often, considering I also have life) the medical stuff is a bit depressing. But I have a weird unshakeable faith I am going to have my DC3.
Come on girls, what do you think? Really???

And P.S. it is my DS1 19th birthday today!!! Oh surely this is ridiculous!! I am only 44 and TTC!!!

Hello, an occasional poster here. 45 and counting.......Decided to try for number 2 despite my advanced age but AF showed up again today. It's only my 3rd month of ttc but time is short and I did everything right! My chart even showed what looked like an implantation dip and then triphasic shift before a sudden drop today. B@llocks.

Gonna give it 1 more try next month.

Oh well, the way I see it there is no "one last try" for us... basically, you don't use contraception, you BD, the opportunities just go on and on as long as you do!! If not this month, then why not next month, fingers x... The thing is to optimise the chances.
And why not? My own mother was born to a 46 yr old (so I'm hoping genetics are on my side).

Hello, everyone!

I just thought I'd book my place back on this thread for the new year - just mc'd again, but am not giving up! Hello no!

grownup I'm no expert, but the very nice man who came and fitted our kitchen - well, his wife had their first at 42 and their second at 45. Now 48, she's broody again

"Hell, no" was what I actually meant.

I'll get me coat ....

Ahhh sussex. So sorry to hear your news (((((hugs)))))

sussex very sorry to hear that. How are you doing? I hope you are holding up ok and that everyone in RL is being very very nice to you.

Do you know what the strangest things is, guys? This was my 3rd mc in 12 months and I haven't really been that upset about it, but I can sit and cry all day about poor Baby P - in fact, I do. I have a clinical psychologist friend who is muttering about Freud and displaced grief

Anyway, we have an appointment on Saturday with a fertility consultant, so we're going to have the tests done and see what occurs.

I don't think we're going to TTC again until well into the new year, so am just checking in and saying hello. It's great to see you again, rhet and xserial, but at the same time I'm gutted you're still here. Will read the thread and catch up on the news when I have a mo.

Sussex, truly sorry to hear your news. The grief of mc is huge, but I believe (and I don't have children, so haven't experienced this myself) that the joy of a successful outcome is even bigger. That's what keeps me going. That and seeing friends' children. Reminds me of why not to give up.

Sussex - sorry to hear your news. Admire your optimism. It's the best attitude it you can muster some.

Tabit - I had mmc before my DS and having him made it all fade in terms of the loss of my first not-to-be-baba.

Day 24 here. Had wierd crampy feelings all w/e. Don't think it's anything to do with a poss pg, as have resigned myself to another neg month. Think it'll take a while longer for us. Both stressed and tired.

Hi everyone
Sussex I am so sorry. I went through that a year ago and it hit me so hard I ended up being signed of work for 2 months. The worst thing was that on the day I actually lost the baby, my DH's grownup daughter rang to announce she was surprise pg with #1, so I was literally lying on the floor wailing, and DH was on the phone next to me going "great news! great news!". It just made it so much worse, and made me feel like a really horrible person for not coping with it and being happy for her. But 1 yr later it is still really bad, and I am not really dealing with the DH grand-D - other babies are ok but not that one. Everytime I look at this baby, which was due two days before ours, I see what would have been. It is really hard, because it's not like a friend's baby that you only have to see from time to time. When DSD brings proud photo of DGD we put it on display, then when she goes I put it away and I have to try to remember to bring it out next time. I just can't deal with it. God am I a terrible person???

Good morning

grownup if you are, then I am, too. I totally, totally empathise with you. My SIL (DP's sister) announced she was pregnant two weeks after I discovered I was. I had a mmc at Christmas last year and her perfect baby girl was born two weeks after ours would have been due. 'Luckily', DP's family are not very close, but we didn't go to see their baby for a while, as I was close to breakdown, having had another early mc in the meantime. This caused a huge ruckus (there was no understanding on their part at all at the time) and we're just about getting on again now. In fact, she's coming over this afternoon. It wouldn't be so bad, but she's the type to say things like 'Oh, well, at least you can conceive, think of those who can't' and she gives me her baby to cuddle as soon as she arrives.

Does that make you feel any better, knowing you're not alone? Loads of hugs to you from this end.

Sussex - I'm so sorry to hear about the mc, I'm still here too. You have a fantastic philosophy and really I think we all hold that philosophy without realising. I mean we couldn't keep trying and put up with the failure if we didn't believe that the happiness of success is worth it all.
I totally emphathise about the feelings of envy discomfort Grownup it's horrible to feel you are being small-minded, but don't have any choice. I have a similar response to a friend who started TTC around the same time as us and has since had a little girl. I wish I could find a way not to feel so annoyed about the whole thing. Like you pg women I don't know don't bother me, in fact I want to hug expectant mothers. Weird emotions surround TTC.
So we are on day 11 or 12 I think taking cough medicine and a whole array of herbal supplements: ag cast, epo, red raspberry, b6, st john's wort (I have SAD at the moment).
It's a lovely day here so plan to get out, there seems to be a big yellow circle in the sky, not sure what it is, but it looks very nice?

Oh rowing, hello, there - again, I'm sorry you're still here, but it's so nice at the same time to see a familiar face/nickname.

I've cancelled the SIL - just can't face it today. Might go for a cream tea with DS instead

sussex - so sorry to hear your news. I remember you (and your very funny posts) from my lurking days.

It's the sheer unfairness of it all that is so very hard to comprehend sometimes isn't it

Sorry I think my post sounded glib. Didn't mean that atall.

MC is rubbish and I still think about my first could-have been baba, especially around Dec 6th which was it's due date. I just meant that after my DH it made it easier to deal with. TOTALLY emphathise with you, sussex, grownup and rowing.

I currently 2 friends I hang around with alot who have DC's the age of my DS are pg and it sometimes really gets me down and I feel the green monster rising

after my DS not my DH drrrrr