TTC for fabulous 40+

[xserialshopper]

I've decided to start the new thread

Anyone coming to join me?

Oh Daisy that is just so fantastics - I am delighted for you .

You have whetted my appetite for foreign travel with your post

fantastics even...

Good God, how many times can i mistype the word fantastic - can it be pg brain already!!!

Daisy I am so pleased for you!

Oh Daisy! We calm ourselves for the sad news that we have been expecting when suddenly we see before us a little miracle beating heart. Words cannot describe that feeling. I cried when that happened to me a couple of weeks ago. So pleased for you.
And Roque, many congratulations to you as well. Good luck with the interview for Friday. How are you going to manage to look serious and not just keep grinning?

That's marvellous news Daisy. I'm so glad for you, what a relief!
Thanks for the info on the two cities. I think the clinic we would attend would be one in Warsaw.
Budapest is much more appealing at the moment. I may spend a week on my own then DP and DS would join, or we would all go. DS is quite happy to go on buses/trams/trains all day with some cake here and there.
Cece - what happened with your triplet friend - did she go overseas? I think there is a limit to one or two embryos in England and two in Scotland, but that might be quite recent.
When did she have the trips? She must be going nuts.
Roque - this is what I was advised by a friend (and it did work) prepare answers for the most ridiculous possible questions then anything less awful will be a bonus. take a note pad with your questions and to take notes. Also prepare one or two quite innovative/wacky ideas for their company and introduce them at the end. Nothing to do with cannibalism or that type of thing, just something memorable.
Do you have to give a presentation?
Rhet - aaah, I'm sending you a pat on the back and a hug.That baby is going to have such a lovely mummy when he/she comes along.

Daisy - what great news! THat's such a fab moment seeing a heartbeat. How fab.

Rowing - Budapest gets my vote. Great cheap spas. Not Prague, but still lovely. Haven't heard a good word about Warsaw or Poland in general.

Going to do early test tomorrow, as DH can't wait until the w/e. Oh what the hell.

Juicy, good luck with testing tomorrow!

Rowing, that sounds a good plan for my interview - I have been preparing lots of stuff like that today and indeed have a little Moleskin notebook to take in! I don't have to do a presentation as such but do have to go "prepared to talk about" a particular topic which comes to the same thing i guess!

Tabitha, I am strangely not-yet-excited about the BFP - after a cp at 4+6 in March and an mc at 9 weeks (stopped growing at 5) in early July I don't think I will get that grinning feeling until I see a hb...so i should be OK for Friday!

daisy - that is great news.

rowingboat - my friend must have had it done when she was late 20s early 30s as the triplets are now 12. I have no idea where she had it done but I guess in the UK. They talked her into putting back 3 embryos, telling her that not all 3 would stick...

juicy - all the best with testing today. Lots and lots of sticky BFP thoughts going your way.

rowing - yes, Budapest is a nicer city than Warsaw as Juicy says. Quite cold in winter I think so take your winter woolies. I am reasonably ignorant about IVF so won't add any thoughts there. I know my friend took three attempts to conceive her daughter (with two embryos each time I think), but then also have heard of twins and triplets from first attempt.

roque - I was like you and couldn't get excited till I saw a heartbeat - which I saw yesterday (I'm still surprised and thrilled). I really needed to do that for a little emotional protection, and looking back I'm glad I did. I avoided using the 'P' word completely. Now I can see 2.1 I feel differently and can look forward to the 12 week scan. I couldn't have done it differently. Good luck with the interview - fantastics news . That will give you something to keep your mind occupied!!!

cece and tabitha - great to hear that all is going well for you both.

I wonder how herb is getting on in New York?

rhet - is it CD27 today? Any inklings of anything?

...and welcome fertilityfiend - loverly site this one.

daisy so fabulous that you've seen a heartbeat and that you can start to look forward a bit. And it's great that everyone else is doing well too.

I think I am now in a minority amongst the active members of this thread in not being pregnant AF was actually two days late and not at all like normal, so I am clinging to the notion that maybe something happened but didn't work out. Clutching at straws, but I have to find something positive to keep me going at this point.

It's great that we have so many BFPs, but I hope you will all understand that I don't have one, feel like I will never get one and that makes me feel very low. And sometimes I just need to say that - I know that every single one of you has been in the place that I am currently in and that you've all had to struggle hard to get your BFPs and so I am really genuinely glad for you. But I do feel really sad about the fact that I might never ever get to that point (see earlier post about the yet unused pregnancy test in my drawer). It's really really hard.

rhet - totally emphathise with all you say. When I thought I was miscarrying a few days ago so many things went through my mind:

1. is that it - the end of the line? Too exhausting to pursue further?
2. should we pay privately for me to get the once over and check nothing is wrong? fibroids, killer womb cell thingy's, blood issues, blocked tubes etc etc
3. Should I get fit, healthy and slim, eat very well, ensure low stress life and then try again (I could be 50 before these all happen!!!) For me, I don't seem to struggle to get pregnant, just to keep it and am not in the clear yet. I had a threatened miscarriage and lost some placenta (we think) with the daughter I have. I wish there was some way a doctor could find a perfect egg and combine with promising looking sperm to increase the odds of it all turning out fine. So much to think about.

Just one other thing, is it true that if you are over 40 and have been ttc for more than three months that your doctor will refer you to a specialist. Something I read said under 35's should try for 1 year before speaking to doctor, 35-40 should try for 6 months, 40+ should seek advice after three months. Does the NHS really help after three months?

I think it varies according to geography. Where I live - the north west near Liverpool - I went to see what the NHS could do for me just before my 40th birthday. Had I already turned 40 when I went they would not have done anything at all for me. As I still had a few weeks to go until I was 40 they have sent me for tests, done the dye test for my tubes and when I go back to see them they will offer me clomid for 3 months. Which I don't want, but am going back to see what test results are anyway. If I had gone to the NHS a few months ago I would have been eligible for a few rounds of IUI. Now I'll have to pay. Am going for natural cycle IVF anyway this month.

daisy I know that it's far from easy once you do get pregnant, especially if you've had losses before - and I know that you are probably all driving yourselves half mad with worry. And you're right, all everyone wants is some reassurance that everything will be ok. I suppose I just feel a bit as if I keep failing Conception 101! And I know I just need to be patient, but some days it's not easy but it's also true that this thread is quite inspirational and proves that it can be done (had dinner last night with an old friend of mine who had a little boy at 41 and is clearly hoping for another)

I don't live in the UK so nhs treatment isn't an option - and I don't know the answer to your question - probably depends on where you live (that seems to be the answer to most questions about the NHS from what I see on the news).

londonlottie thanks for your kind words - not taken amiss at all. Haven't actually been trying as long as you, and have had all the basic initial tests which indicated that everything is fine - ovulating every month, LH and FSH OK and I'm in good general health. I'm mostly fine and fairly realistic, but I hate the way that the whole TTC thing messes with your head and turns (well me, at any rate) into a psychotic harridan.

Good luck with IVF!

ROQUE Fantastics and CONGRATULATIONS. Hope this one is a sticky

Anyone want to name their BFP after me?

BFN
Shouldn't have tested. Now depressed.

Buggar, buggar, buggar.

juicy lucy bummer. Know how you feel but what day are you on? And when does Af normally arrive? You could just be testing too early (this is why I never test unless I am late and why I haven't used my pg test yet!)

Used a first response "up to x days in advance" jobbie. Blardy £11.odds down the swannie.
I'm on day 28 and period should arrive Sat-ish.

Have now bought Sainos cheapo jobs, so will only be testing when period has actually not turned up in future.

I just wish people in RL would stop telling me they're pg. Most pissed off at how crap my fertility is.

Thanks for the empathy Rhet btw
Too busy whinging, whining and generally moaning on my last post to get that in

jiucylucy - it's not over yet. I didn't get a BFP till day 31...

it's OK juicy have been doing my fair (more than I think) share of moaning, whingeing and generally being pissed off. But cece is right - you should take it from one who clearly knows...