TTC for fabulous 40+

[xserialshopper]

I've decided to start the new thread

Anyone coming to join me?

thanks juicylucy - you've cheered me up actually. Just been running around the park thinking oh bugger it, maybe I'll just jack it all in and get on with my life, even though I know that I don't really want to do that. It's just so exhausting somehow, the waiting and the maybe and the probably not and perhaps this month, isn't it? But I know it will be worth it. I suppose the problem is that I feel that I also have to prepare myself for the point at which I have to decide that enough is enough.

But for now, yes, let's hope I'll be off wine for some time to come

Cece - how confusing. So is was it definitely a TSH test, or still not confirmed? I found this
"the normal range is 0.35 - 5.00. " on another site about thyroid testing. So at least if it was a TSH, you are in the middle of the normal range. Something to tick off!
I wish they had done a TSH on me at the GP's as well, they don't seem very thorough here either.
Hope it is all cleared up soon.
Have good hols Rhetorician and Roque.
Have been taking agnus castus again, 2x400 mgs in the morning, and have noticed I have been more snappy with DS than normal. Poor old boy. Mind you, finally had kicked the coffee, but succumbed today and yesterday, so perhaps that was the cause of the grump?
The rationale behind the ag cast was that I was taking it when I became pg with DS (not planned) so think that perhaps I have something slightly out of kilter, such as raised prolactin levels, which can impact on fertility.
Do they do all these tests when you go private?
I'm on two week annual leave as of next week, but will be at home for a week then we are off to the east coast of Scotland.

rowing boat - I am wondering whether to take some more supplements or not - might ask the doc tomorrow.

I picked up my print offs of test results to take with me tomorrow from the GP. I have very naughtily opened the envelope to have a look. It says FSH and lots of other stuff but no TSH so now I am very confused . Think the receptionist was getting me muddled with someone else maybe?

rhetorician and juicy - that is the trouble isn't it, at some point we may have to just give up - but when that is is so hard to decide. There is always just one more month...

cece it sounds like the receptionist didn't know what she was at. I never understand why these things are in sealed envelopes - it's your body after all and why should you not know what it all says.

Anyway, the very best of luck today - keep us posted about how you get on.

Am heading into the loony phase of the TWW - I'm usually fine for the first week and then I start tracking twinges and twitches and digestive oddities. Oh well, it has to be done.

Cece, how strange! Either way, you have a good result 3 is good for TSH and FSH. If I were paying, I think I would want the TSH as well, to rule that out as a possible cause of infertility.
Does anyone know, do the day 3 and day 21 tests test for anything other than fsh and progesterone?
Perhaps I should contact my GP. Hmm!
We are now emailing clinics in Europe to check out prices for IVF - have contacted four clinics, so waiting to hear back.

hi rowing I think the day 3 test usually does LH as well - this rules out PCOS if the LH is close to the FSH or lower than it (can't remember the precise numbers), ; they like to see them fairly close together as iirc lh falls with age, but fsh rises. This is a good basic outline www.fertilityplus.org/faq/hormonelevels.html
but remember that some of these units are US and many labs in UK/Europe use different ones. So if yours are different, don't panic!

Hi Rhet, thank you! That is a fairly exhaustive list. I was thinking in terms of the prolactin levels and thyroid. which appear to be tested on day three. I wonder if the NHS tests cover everything listed? Only one way to find out - phone GP, they should have the records.
Does anyone know what the situation is regarding access to your own records, for say IVF in Europe?
Bit of homework for me there.

Hi I'm back!

Well after the talk about risks of conceiving over 40 and the other dangers of being overweight and pg over 40 I have been told to lose weight and come back in 4 months!

Apparently my BMI is too high to be given any of the drugs that could induce ovulation. Also as we already have children adn are over 40 then we would have to pay for assisted conception proceedures. TBH I cannot see DH wanting to go that far anyway...

So any tips on losing 10-15 kilos in 4 months anyone?

cece that sounds hopeful. On losing weight, no silly diets but try this (also a good fertility diet - see Marilyn Glenville's fascist book - I did this but stopped after a while because I was losing weight that I didn't need to): I also didn't get pregnant, obviously

no sugar
no refined carbs (so no white pasta, white rice etc.)
no alcohol (yes, I know, I know)

If you knock out those things then most of the really fattening things go too, but it leaves you with some dairy (focus on live yogurt)for calcium. It's harder than it sounds - most processed food, even savoury, has sugar of one kind or another in it.

And try to walk briskly for about 30 mins a day. Should do the trick and you'll feel great. Doesn't do much for the social life.

Oh, and Marilyn says it's OK if you're good 80% of the time!!

Thanks rhetorician! That sounds sort of doable. I mostly eat wholemeal pasta and bread anyway...
Not sure about the sugars.

Last year I did a sort of combination of calorie counting for meals and only allowing myself to have fruit in between meals. Puds were fruit and natural yoghurt so thought I might do that again. After 3 months loads of people commented on my loss of weight last time... Plus I actually got pg after 3 months of doing it....

even more incentive. If it works again then you too can write a best-selling fertility diet book!

good luck!

Cece, good luck with that! I agree, it would not be a good idea to lose dramatic amounts of weight, not for health and not for your skin. You will feel better if you do the walk though. I started walking earlier in the year and felt better so fast, you totally firm up, it's great.
Rhet, it does sound as if you can't fail to lose weight with that plan, primarily because you are so bored with the food available.
The no sugar would be a nightmare, virtually anything prepackaged would be out, even bread frequently has sugar added.
There are a stack of threads you can join in slimming most of which are following different regimes. It might be good to have the moral support/chat.
I'm doing this started last week, but it went poo because we had quite a few visitors. So, I'm doing week one again this week.

yes, it was boring as hell. And every time I thought, mmm, I'll have a (fill in standard food of choice) I'd realise that I couldn't have it...it made me very grumpy as I really like my food and it felt like i was doing penance. You do get used to it, and like giving up caffeine you feel really shite when you go back to all that stuff.

morning all. Off on hols at some unspeakable hour tomorrow morning. Hoping that this will take my mind off the TWW - am feeling very low and despairing about it if I'm honest and starting to think that it's never going to work out for me. So I'm packing my tampons and my thermometer alongside the suncream. Will let you know how I get on when I come back. Best of luck to all of you as you strive onwards and upwards!

rowing just noticed that you are doing C2K - it's a really brilliant running programme. And if you have to repeat a week here and there it's no big deal. I run quite a lot but am cutting back just in case it has an impact on TTC (I notice that if my mileage goes up my periods are lighter and shorter which in any other circs would be an entirely Good Thing), but I really miss it.

It's brilliant for keeping your weight down too! Do you have somewhere nice to run? - I find that makes all the difference. I live 5 minutes (run! not walk) from the biggest park in Europe which has woods and trails and deer.

I think I am trying to avoid work today!

Rhet avoiding work!
I am quite fortunate in that I have a couple of good places to run, we live near the links which are like a large area of common ground, with paths running around and across and on the other side we have converted railways lines, which have now become a very long cycle/foot path. I wouldn't use the cyclepath at night though, as it is pretty isolated, but it's very busy from quite early until around 7pm. It means I don't have to stop and cross a road.
I used to run and attend the gym and swim and all that, but after DS was born, I struggled to manage him, the house and work part-time, let alone take exercise. I started walking again last year, but it is very time-consuming, so I hope running will fit in better with my available time.
So what time do you have to leave tomorrow?
Try not to let the TTC thing affect your holiday. I would personally, NOT take a thermometer, you will find out if you are pg, when your AF doesn't arrive.
I hope you have a lovely, relaxing time.

Hi girls. My acupuncturist and her pulses were wrong. AF came on Tuesday. Mind you, she was two days' late, so maybe I was a little bit pregnant.

Feel terrible, as best friend has had one shot at IVF - she's a lesbian - and is up the duff. She just told me by text. I am insanely jealous, and feel sick. I can't talk to her about it - after three years, and four miscarriages, surely it's my turn, not hers.

AND I've started new job, and it's a total nightmare. Really busy, complicated, and I feel utterly out of my depth. And can't sleep for worrying about it...

rowing I think you are right. Will remove thermometer from bag forthwith. Flight at 6.20am!

herb sorry about AF. What a bummer. And even harder in the context of your best friend's news. It is just sometimes impossible not to feel the way you do and you should just let yourself. She told you by text I'd imagine because she knows it will be painful for you and wanted to avoid putting you in a position where you have to smile and congratulate when that's the last thing you feel like doing? Maybe?

I hope you feel better about things soon - it really is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do.

Herb, that's rubbish! I felt quite positive for you this month, it couldn't have been a chemical could it?
It is hard when other people conceive so easily, but you struggle. I'm still having to come to terms with that. It's like failing your driving test a hundred times when everyone else passes first time. You stop believing.
But it just takes one sperm and one egg, and next month could be the one.
You are still quite new to the job and I always found the first six months the toughest, then you kind of know where the sellotape is and you don't have to ask anyone. You will like the job I bet, just give it more time.
I must admit I do like first time success at IVF stories, because if we go down that path, I like to think we would conceive first time, otherwise the costs would be frightening.

I like them too, but then come over all negative, and think 'it won't be me', and have a sulk.

It's v v early days in new job - I only started this Monday! But it has all those tricky elements to make jobs worrysome - stroppy underling, 'seagull management' boss, deadlines... (It's a magazine).

Herb Laughing about the seagull boss, he/she doesn't eat things out of bin bags does he/she?
What's the stroppy underling doing? You could always start to draw up his/her job description in a notebook and then 'accidentally', leave it open on your desk. Oh, and get the recruitment section from the local paper to call a few times.
I can't believe the raaaaain, it's hosing down outside.
The temp thing, it's hopeless, this is the one hundredth day that I have forgotten to temp. I give up!! How do people manage that? I wake up, DS is jumping on my chest demanding breakfast, I wrestle him off and get up before he bites me. Then, as I pour out his cereal, I think 'damn, the temperature!'

Hello everyone, may I join?

I'm reading some of the posts here.

Yes it's a shame that women come here get the support they need, get pregnant and forget.

I'm 41 TTC on and off.

Hugs Herb. Maybe your friend should have added an encouraging message for you after she told you.

Do not focus on her being pregnant, focus on YOU getting pregnant.

I met this young girl online. Always boasting how she isn't the type to talk on and on about being pregnant if she has a friend who is TTC, but that is exactly what she does. I've decided to cut away from her, slowly, but surely. She sends me an ultrasound photo of her 14 week old fetus right after she tells me that she feels funny talking about such things while I am TTC yet she sends me not just one photo but two ultrasound photos in a few weeks times. Another so called friend I had was too lazy to upload her u/s on photobucket, told me to do it.

Women can be quite cruel, not that your friend is cruel but it reminded me of some things. I suppose I just wanted to vent.

hi, tips on losing weight.

Do you like fat free yogurt. The flavored ones. Stock up on a whole load with some bananas. Cut them up in the yogurt add some whip cream and enjoy.

It works for me.

Hi Saree welcome. I'm sorry to hear that you had a hard time.
I'm not too bad right now, but have been through the horrible jealousy of other people's pregnancies. Not sure why I'm feeling a bit more philosophical now.