First time TTC?!! Let's get through this together!!

[DawnAS]

Hi All,

This is a difficult time for most women (and men) I think.

Certainly for me, I've waited a long time to get to this stage , having not met Mr Right until the age of 31. Now 34 and got married 2 months ago and now want to complete the family!

So, just started "trying" for a baby and due to my impatient nature, have already started using Ovulation Kits. (Probably not a good idea). I also did the Female Fertility Test and that seemed to have a good result aswell.

I was on Dianette for 8 years and came off of it 3 years ago. My cycles became regular again but every 5 weeks instead of 4. I had previously come off of the pill for 6 months and my cycles were regular, so I guess all this is a good sign.

Anyone else had similar experiences and fallen pregnant quickly? I know everyone's different but any good news stories help move us all along!! .

xx

honestly I haven't spoken to a doctor- used to have my injection at a family planning Clinic and just haven't been back (wish I had discussed it with them now!) I just wanted to keep things natural! I am. Very hopeful but at the same time I'm determined not to get too upset if I'm not. Thanks for the advice my DH is being supportive but has admitted he doesn't know much about it but had commented on (.)(.) and admitted that I don't get spots and I have about four on my chin I feel very unattractive! Xx hormones eh- I'm just hoping I have some good news cos of it! I don't want raging hormones for no reason!

Dawn you are such a positive inspiration to us all, you really have cheered me up and i too am looking forward to the anticipation of TTC this month. My DH cant wait for the bonktastic month ahead!!

crunchy if you can handle the possibility of maybe getting a BFN then i really think you should just do the test, you have nothing to lose, i know your hormones are just coming off the injection but you know your own body signals so if you are feeling different then you just might be PG. Good luck!!

lots of for the MN girls tonight - we seem to have ended the weekend on a bit of a high!

LOL I don't know my body at all by the sounds of it! There is a thread about repo and dome people got o
Pg quite quickly and before periods but others had pg symptoms but lots of BFNs. Looks quite diverse ! It took lots of people about a year and others about 3 years so who knows! Fingers crossed I'm one of the lucky ones it is a very positve Sunday I agree! Xx

magic 8 ball says I am that's gotta be good LOL sweetdreams ladies! Xx

Hi guys,

Back from Wales...I've tried to scan MN on my blackberry a few times (I wanted to see how Dawn was doing!).

Crunchy - sorry for putting ideas in your head! I'm going to feel bad if you get a BFN...so here's hoping I won't feel guilty! Fingers crossed for you tomorrow morning!!

Oh and how is Eth?? I haven't seen anything for a little while.

BSL x

lol fingers crossed eh! Xx

Hey everyone.

Crunchy good luck with the testing!! I have my fingers and toes crossed!!

BSL how was your surftastic weekend!!

Dawn your positivity makes me smile!! I'm not always as positive as I should be!!

Hello to everyone else!!

I've had a lovely morning, cleaning out the office as DP's sister and her 2 friends are coming here in November and I am going today to buy a sofa bed, as my mum is here next week and I want it to look nice! Got the curtain maker coming round tomorrow!! All good fun!!

So I think after much talking we have got down to the bottom of DP's issues. Because I get quite frustrated living in Manila(too bloody hot, monsoon season, nothing but socialising and drinking and sports to do) I know it doesn't sound bad but added on to the Filipina's uselessness I find it quite annoying being here. And on a few occaisions I have mentioned that I want to go back to UK. My DP (very sad ) took this as me meaning that I wasn't happy with him and that I wanted to leave him, so obviously he didn't want to be ttc and thought that I just wanted to have a baby not him and a family. I think he thought I would get the baby then take it back to England So I feel awful, my little comments about how annoying here is he took in completely the wrong way.

So moving forward we have both said that we do want to ttc, but no planning, me not being as obbsessive and I need to do something about my frustration here and start having fun again. So after I have been shopping I am going to go to the Uni's here and try and find out where I can do some A levels or something. I am booking me and DP a relaxing holiday. And I am going to enquire about starting golf lessons and am going to start horse riding again. And I have spoken to the head of my womens club and have got next months calender of daily events and I am going to be hosting the book club next week plus a few other meetings!

Sorry for the rant, I feel really bad that i've been such a bad DP and made my wonderful DP feel like this

awe b I am pleased for you-the book club sounds greaT! How to you decide on a book? Let us know what it us!

Well everyone I did the test and not surprisingly it was a bfn-bit gutted but it wasn't entirely unexpected! My lovely DH has tried to point out that it could be a good thing I'm having all these strange changes as it means my bodys starting to work again so basically I'm having 6 years worth of pmt and hormonal surges all at once. Lucky me eh?!

I am going to stop convincing myself there's more to it now and just take some paracetamol and keep my touch eclait with me at all times! Hope you all had a great night-did you get out the sexy negligée dawn? Xxxx

There you go B, now that's positivity!! How fantastic that you've got to the bottom of it and also that your whole well-being is going to be sooo much nicer because of all your plans.

I love reading and book-clubs are great fun because if you get a really good book, the discussions can go on all night and you'll never want them to end! How brilliant!!

I think you're both thinking along the right lines for BDing aswell. That's exactly what DH and I are doing. We're going to get a healthy BD-life and BD around 3 times a week without planning OVing and then we're bound to hit the spot. Although my reason is slightly different, in that I actually don't want to know whether I'm pregnant or not and start counting the days. So if we start as soon as the MC has finished, I may take a test if I haven't had an AF in 3 months or something! That way I should be fairly clear that something has happened. I want to be at least past the 5 week stage (when we lost Pip) again before we test.

I don't smoke (or drink really) and I cut out caffeine a few weeks ago. I eat healthily and take the dog out for an hour a day and I'll continue to take the Folic Acid, so I won't really need to know!!

xxx

PS: I've read that the best advice from Docs, is to maintain a healthy BD-life of 2-3 times a week and that will work quicker than planning around it all....

Ahh girls you made a tear come to my eye, thank you for still being so nice even thought I am clearly a shitty DP!!

Bloody day hasn't gone to plan though!! Never does in the Philippines but I am still smiling!! The sofa bed I wanted was "out of stock" (the most common phrase you hear here!! [grin}) And my driver has disappeared off the face of the earth! So I have to shout at him now because I only managed to go to the furniture store and do the food shopping!! Though to be fair in Manila I was being a little optomistic listing all those things for today!!

Dawn I think you have the right idea, I think we too will just stop actively trying but just have sex!

And 2 good things I suppose come of me not being pg this month. 1) we get to go to his cousins wedding in England. 2) I just ordered a mooncup and my mum is bringing it out with her next week, so I get to try it out!!. Silver lining to every cloud!!

Ahaaahaa my driver has returned spouting noscense about swapping cars I'm off to actually try and buy the sofa now as all the phones in the biggest dept store in Manila were in use when I tried to buy it earlier Still smiling!!

Oooh ps crunchy really sorry you didn't get the BFP, maybe it was too early!!

Dawn - you're positive outlook is deeply impressive. I'm so pleased that you can find it in you to look happily to the future.

Bonifacio - I'm with your DH, you MUST find something engaging to occupy your brain. I've been an expat...coffee mornings, ladies lunches and endless games of whatever are not enough. Get out and do things for yourself. Challenge yourself. Find a way to be seen as you not simply you're husband's partner - this is really important! Good luck!

Crunchy - sorry...

So...hate to put a dampner on all your cheer, but I'm feeling totally miserable (not something I'm known for). No BDing at all this weekend, no +OV when I expected it last week, and now my temps are dropping again...so definitely no April baby for me next year.
I have no idea how to get DH to BD more - he's always knackered in the evening and really not a morning person. We haven't really discussed the actual conception part much, so I'm sure he doesn't realise the 3days/month to conceive part, but I also know that he'll just wants us to take it as it comes. I don't want to put pressure on him - he doesn't respond well to it - but I do want to step up the action around OV. I know I'm not PG this month...but I'm now just worrying about how it will ever happen...

Anyway, I'm rambling and sad so until I'm over myself and can share some cheer, I'll leave you lovely ladies.

Happy Monday!
Flirty x

bonifacio have you used a mooncup before? i have heard of them and want to try them out but am sceptical, let me know how you get on. and i am very proud of you for your positive attitude and am glad that you and DH had a good chat, reading between the lines i think we all knew that these were the underlying issues. WELL DONE!

I have just started reading Jools Olivers Diary of an Honest Mum - has anyone read it? I thought it would have a big chunk on how they were TTC but it is only about 5 pages. Still i am persevering.

Hey B,

I'm probably going to feel really embarassed about this, but what is a Mooncup?

xx

Oh Flirty, that's not like you to be so down?! I'm sorry that you're feeling low.

Is there anyway that your DH can maybe work longer some nights and then take some earlier ones? It's so difficult when you have other commitments.

We're quite lucky in that area because we don't really do anything in the evenings, other than taking the dog out because we're trying to save money to buy a house. I work quite late sometimes but I do work from home so it's easier for me to stop, should I need to .

Sorry I can't be much help Flirty.

Morning to everyone else!!

xx

Morning all, I?ve missed loads this weekend

Dawn I?m so sorry to hear your news. I?m glad you have the support of your DH. Your positivity is amazing!!

BSL Hope your weekend away was fab and the weather was a bit better than it?s been up here!

Bonifacio your plan sounds great and I?m so pleased that you and your DP have talked things through

Crunchy sorry you didn?t get the BFP this time. Will you test again?

flirty i am sorry you are down, this TTC lark is one hell of an emotional roller coaster, please stay with us for moral support.

dawn a Mooncup is an environmentally friendly sanitary 'cup' as opposed to a tampon or pad, i dont really know what it is but i gather it is some sort of cup you wash out, they are always advertising it at Glastonbury/V Festival etc

crunchy sorry about your BFN, you can join me on my bonktastic month!

BSL how was the surfing?

Morning all

Bon you must stop thinking badly of yourself. Relationships work both ways. You may think you were bad making DP feel how he did but he made you feel bad too. He could have just told you how he was feeling rather than jump to conclusions. Glad you ave sorted it out now though.

My DP and I had a MAJOR breakdown in communications at the beginning of the year and I thought that was it for us. But in the end it has worked out to be a very positive thing (Although I wouldnt want to go through it again). We now have opened the lines of communication wider than they ever have been before and as a result are happier(well I am - and I hope he is) than we ever have been before.

DP was TERRIFIED of having babies but since we have started trying he is being very supportive and is very excited by the prospect - He keeps telling me I could be preggers already. But I think we missed the boat this month and none of my signs match up propertly so I dont know if I even OV'd (Although it hasnt stoppe me symptom spotting like mad)

Crunchy Sorry about your BFN but I think your hubby is right. It is a good sign that your body is getting back to working properly again. So fingers crossed BFP wont be too far in the future xxx

Dawn You have amazing strength!! I hope that even though you are not actively TTC (This to you too bon) it does not mean that you wont be on MN.

Flirty Come back!!! TTC is proving a bit emotionally draining for us all, and men certainly dont seem to get it!! Pease dont leave us we all have very good shoulders to cry on and you would me missed !!!

Morning girls!!

Crunchy - I'm sorry...

B - you aren't a bad DP!! This is simply a misunderstanding!! And it's sorted now. It sounds like you are being positive and looking for some fun things to do now, which is great! I love the idea of a book club, the golf lesson and the riding!! I had a suggestion too...have you thought about writing a weblog?? I have had one for a few years and it's a great way to express yourself. Obviously you are an ex-pat living in manilla and I bet you have some funny stories to tell...just a thought.

Summerbird - I've read the Jools book. I loved it! To be honest, none of the books I've read re: PG, have had a big conception section. Jools' is the biggest. Mylene Klass found out she was PG accidently as did Mel (from Sue and Mel). Anyhow let me know what you think of it!

Flirty - Don't be sad! My sis was using temping and stuff to try to NOT get PG and she ended up with a little girl! I think she's completely confused as to how it happened because it was well pass her OV date and X sperm is slower than Y sperm...no idea what happened there, but it's an example of how it can happen completely outside the 3day window!!

Dawn - how you doing today?? A mooncup is a thing you use for your AF instead of a tampon. It's 'green' because you just wash it out. I think it's plastic.

Morning Saz, I'm trying to catch up too!

By the way, do many of you guys belong to book clubs...I've always wanted to join one, but have moved around somuch in the last few years that I never got down to finding one...are they good??

BSL x

Heverhoney...sorry we x'ed posts!!

Ahh Flirty I have a friend like you in RL, the one who always says it like it is and doesn't sugar coat it to make you feel better!! The only thing I can suggest you do to get more action is initiate it yourself.

Summerbird No I haven't used one before but I have heard they are the best thing since sliced bread, especially for people like me who have heavy AF's. I shall let you all know how it goes!!

Dawn as summerbird says, a mooncup is like a silicone cup that catches all the AF then when full you empty, rinse then re insert. Environmentally friendly and work out much cheaper in the long run, especially here where they don't actually sell tampax, only sanitary pads so I have to have them imported.

Saz thanks for the reassurance, I am trying to get more mentally and physically active. I hope it works!!

Heverhoney thanks for understanding that part, I did find it quite difficult at first to understand, if he felt that way then he should tell me, my mind reading skills don't work in the Philippines
My DP is too a bit scared but, I also know that the day I tell him I am PG he will be over the moon!!

Massive storm just starting, have to close evrything now!! Bloody rain!!

Hi BSL sorry x post, didn't mean to miss you off!! Thanks for your positivity, at least I feel like I am doing something now. Which is a start! Never thought of a weblog, don't really like the idea of having all sorts of info written down for anyone to see, if you get what I mean!! Our book club is really good, just the girls we go round to someones house they provide dinner and we chat about the book but also about the latest celeb gossip which is fun!! This month book is A House for Mr Biswas by V.S Naipaul. I haven't actually read it yet because suprise suprise its "out of stock"

Summerbird I have read the Jules one, It was ok but then I on;y bought it because it looks inconspicuous (sp) on the book shelf and not like a book on pregnancy!!

bonifacio thats exactly why i bought it too - it just looks like a girlie book!!

mind reading is not the only skill you need, patience is a must!!

Yesterday I was Ironing (I hate ironing!!) when DP, who was standing looking into the fridge at the time, asked me what there was for dinner!!!! He was then when I said "I dont know you are the one looking in the fridge!!" He asked me if this was how I was going to be when I got pregnant because if it was he was moving out till I had it!!!

He was only joking but still!!! MEN!!! GRR

I'd love to join a bookclub but I'm the only bookworm I know! I'm going to look out for that jools book though. You all seem to love it! I'm moping around the house and I really shouldn't b I'm In my pjs still and am feeling sorry for myself had a bit of a thought though- I tested about 3 weeks ago cos of stomach cramps and sore(.)(.) too. Do you think that perhaps that's me ovulating but without Af? I am just trying to have lots of sex though and try not to get bogged down with it all but it does play on your mind when your bodies all over the place! Haha now we are all trying to have a summer of love with no counting this thread will turn into a book club/sex tip thread LOL all with moral support of course!

flirty don't worry too Much. I'm the same with my DH. Sex is always fantastic but every now and again were completely out of sync!! Sometimes I'll try in the morning and he won't b in the mood and others he'll try late at night and I'll be half asleep- although last night I tried and he was tired! I think if you love each other and fit in BDing as often as possible it's bound to happen at some time. Next time your oving you could try this :

He was stressed and over heated last week and very grumpy and kept turning me down as nicely as possible! So I took action- when he got home from work I'd left post it notes with oil sexy messages and kisses on leading him to the bedroom- where he found me in my silky nightdress with some mood music playing and couldn't resist we had a giggle too and he was really tired but I got my way! Maybe something like that would get things going again?

Crunchy xxxx