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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Trying for a second baby and feeling disheartened

36 replies

ForestWren · 19/08/2026 09:37

Just wanted to vent and see if anyone is in the same boat atm.

We’ve been TTC number 2 for about 6 cycles now and I got another BFN this morning, at around 11/12dpo. I got my hopes up this month as we really put work into it (! - not easy with a toddler) and I have been having cramps for a few days, which was a symptom with my previous pregnancies (dd1 plus an mc).

We conceived dd1 fairly easily, in about 3 months (although this came right after the miscarriage at 7 weeks, which also took about 3 cycles to conceive). So I naively hoped this one would be quick too.

DD1 is 20 months now and I'm starting to worry about the age gap and whether she'll have a sibling (I know I'm getting ahead of myself). I regret every time I asked parents if they were planning another!!! It's such a tough question to answer when you're trying.

I’m finding myself worrying that something has changed and reduced our fertility. In particular, my dh is now on antidepressants which could potentially affect motility. It would be a big effort for him to stop taking these as they've helped him so much. Another factor could be the fact I had a c section, but I don’t know much about about this. We're also now a few years older (35 and 36). Also, I'm still breastfeeding a bit. But my cycles are pretty regular so I don't think this is affecting things too much - any thoughts on this?

I know that really 6 months isn't very much in the great scheme of things, but it stung this month to see the BFN!

OP posts:
MochaLove · 20/08/2026 22:46

ForestWren · 20/08/2026 11:32

I definitely went a bit mad when we were Ttc after the miscarriage. Lots of ovulation tests, bbt tracking, trying to get it in twice a day etc! But honestly - it worked. Don’t have the energy for all that this time!

I must have got 5dpo from somewhere, maybe my acupuncturist? I think it’s the time when you’d hope to implant, yes. I also had a holistic ‘native American’ treatment at the same time by accident. I went to an osteo and told him about my mc and he said he was also a healer so I said ‘why not!’ Maybe I’ll go back to him too!

Edited
Show quote history

Absolutely agree, no energy for that this time here either!

If we have no luck this month (not feeling hopeful currently!) I think I will look into acupuncture. I am sceptical as paid a lot to have it when my LG was breech and it didn’t work 😆 but even if it only relaxes me, at least I’ll feel like I’m giving something new that could help a try.

Firsttimerugbymum · Yesterday 17:23

Does anyone have anything else I can try this month?

Already tried acupuncture for the last few months and no success. Feel like giving something else a go 🤣

Viviennemary · Yesterday 17:26

I'm not a medical person but I always thought breast feeding hindered conception. Even if you have periods you might not be ovulating.

Original poster
ForestWren · Yesterday 21:17

Firsttimerugbymum · 20/08/2026 12:26

Update on the testing today - ultrasound done and I suppose good news that they didn't see any issues. Lining was a bit thin, but apparently for where I am in my cycle that is normal.

Awaiting the bloods and semen analysis next week

We do all seem to have had c sections, which is concerning....

That’s good news! Glad to hear it. And god luck with next week’s testing!

OP posts:
Original poster
ForestWren · Yesterday 21:21

Mulledjuice · 20/08/2026 11:40

If i were you I'd get a blood work yp for both of you.

Despite breastfeeding your prolactin level might not be high enough to affect conception.

Back to basics - are you both as rested and relaxed as you can be, taking prenatal/conception vitamins + omega 3 + vitamin d? Plenty of exercise for DH?
Plenty of enjoyable sex throughout the month?

good intel thank you! Would that be privately?I feel quite rested and we eat very well. I think my dh doesn’t get great sleep and may have sleep apnea - he’s seeing a doc about it in a couple of weeks so we are doing a bit of an MOT! Dh gets a fair amount of exercise. I could def get more 😬

do you think I could get prolactin levels checked by gp?

OP posts:
Original poster
ForestWren · Yesterday 21:24

Littlebundledueinsummer26 · 20/08/2026 12:32

I haven't read the entire thread but just wanted to pop on and say I had no luck conceiving dc2 until I completely cut out breastfeeding dc1 who had just turned 2, it was only 1 feed too within a 24 hour period.

I stopped abruptly (which caused crazy hormonal symptoms!) Then got a positive test the following month. Currently feeding our newborn now as we speak!

Good luck 😘

Very happy to hear this! Congratulations. It is definitely time! Eek

OP posts:
Original poster
ForestWren · Yesterday 21:27

HelloDarknessmyoldfrenemy · 20/08/2026 15:58

In a similar boat here, though TTC baby number 3 (I know the title said DC2, just the rest of your post really resonated!)

Had 2 EMCS and been trying to conceive for 9 months now with no hint of a line. The age gap thing is really worrying me, I really wanted them to be close in age so they have the same interests and could play together. Feeling so down about the whole thing. I wanted to TTC last year but it wasn’t the right time for a number of reasons so waited until December 2025 and have had absolutely no luck.

Also still breastfeeding my daughter, though only at night and my luteal phase is 14 days so feel it shouldn’t be affecting things? Don’t want to stop and then still not get pregnant, think that would be the worst of all worlds for me!

Am really worried that my second CS, which was performed very fast as her heartbeat was dropping, has really messed things up and I can’t conceive again. Been doing ovulation sticks, dtd every other day, hitting all the key days and nothing!! I thought I’d be given birth in September, instead I’m not even pregnant! My second was conceived very fast, and my first fairly quickly so don’t understand what has changed this time, other than the C-sections. So sorry for everyone else in this position ❤️

It’s so hard isn’t it! Wishing you all the best. Let’s hope things work out for us all exactly how and when they’re meant to.

It’s a shame how our attention can be fixed on the future child who isn’t there when we have our lovely babies in front of us! My lg does help take my mind off it all most of the time ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
ForestWren · Yesterday 21:32

A bit frustrated because my period is late this month and I’m getting negative tests. There is almost no chance I ovulated later than I expected and caught my fertile window because we went away just before and had no privacy for any private time! So now I’m just left waiting to come on and get on with the next cycle. And yet I am still wasting pregnancy tests ofc! I think I may have ovulated late due to a short bout of food poising just before ovulation. Boo.

In other news I have booked in for acupuncture in a couple of weeks, so that feels like some kind of progress. And we have decided to stop breastfeeding in September. Very scary as she is obsessed with it recently!

OP posts:
Mulledjuice · Yesterday 22:04

ForestWren · Yesterday 21:21

good intel thank you! Would that be privately?I feel quite rested and we eat very well. I think my dh doesn’t get great sleep and may have sleep apnea - he’s seeing a doc about it in a couple of weeks so we are doing a bit of an MOT! Dh gets a fair amount of exercise. I could def get more 😬

do you think I could get prolactin levels checked by gp?

Show quote history

Possibly but I think you're too soon to be able to get the tests on NHS. You could get a couples MOT from a fertility clinic which would include an ultrasound for you, or there are probably places that would do bloods by post.

Are you breastfeeding at night?

Original poster
ForestWren · Today 08:51

Mulledjuice · Yesterday 22:04

Possibly but I think you're too soon to be able to get the tests on NHS. You could get a couples MOT from a fertility clinic which would include an ultrasound for you, or there are probably places that would do bloods by post.

Are you breastfeeding at night?

Show quote history

Yes still bf at night unfortunately. Any tips for stopping?

I’ll look into couples MOT - may be a good idea a little further down the line, after I’ve stopped bf.

Still no period and another negative test. V unusual for me and very annoying!

OP posts:
Mulledjuice · Today 09:33

ForestWren · Today 08:51

Yes still bf at night unfortunately. Any tips for stopping?

I’ll look into couples MOT - may be a good idea a little further down the line, after I’ve stopped bf.

Still no period and another negative test. V unusual for me and very annoying!

Show quote history

I think you're extremely unlikely to conceive if youre not yet having a period.

I stopped feeding to sleep (still fed at bathtime so just brought forward 20-30 mins) before nightweaning. Nightweaning I used Dr Jay Gordon method - he's v supportive of cosleeping.

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