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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC and 35 +, all those who are worried their ovaries are not as sprightly as before

1000 replies

DarrellRivers · 20/06/2008 10:27

After 18m persuading DH, we are finally (v gently ) TTc no 3.
As I am now 35, am convinced my fertility days are behind me.
Anyone in a similar position and needing to share support?

OP posts:
summerbird · 05/08/2008 08:43

thank you dharma and flowerfairy i might give them a go, am ready to try anything now!

SpangleMaker · 05/08/2008 10:31

summerbird OPKs and temping look at different things IYSWIM. Warning, am going to get all scientific now....

OPKs detect the hormone surge that prompts ovulation, there are 2 dark lines if you are fertile, no line or faint line means you aren't. They are helpful when they work, only sometimes they don't, even when you are ovulating. And the decent quality ones cost around £16 per month, so it's not cheap! Also if you have irregular cycles, you won't know when to start/stop using the sticks.

Charting BBT works on the principle that progesterone, which is released after ovulation, causes your body temperature to rise. When you see a sustained rise, you can be fairly sure you've ovulated. It won't tell you when you're about to ovulate though - when you see the temp rise the egg is almost certainly gone (or making a baby!). Charting is useful to (a) check you're ovulating (b) to get to know your cycle, so you can predict when you might be fertile in future cycles (c) so you know when to expect your period. It also saves on pg tests because if you're not pg your temp drops just before your period; if you are, it will stay high or for many women it goes even higher.

It is cheaper than OPKs - costs £10 - £15 for a BBT thermometer (you need one that goes to 2 decimal places, Boots do them)and nothing thereafter. You can register at FertilityFriend.com for free, enter in your data and it will help you work out when you've ovulated.

Down sides are remembering to take your temp before you get out of bed, some people find that a faff; also it is quite addictive and you can end up reading far too much into the data (like I did last month!).

I can really recommend the book 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' by Toni Welscher, it's long but well written and easy to read.

Phew, I went on a bit there didn't I
All this has become my 'Mastermind specialist subject' over the last few months

SpangleMaker · 05/08/2008 10:34

dharma the acupuncture sounds really interesting, I've seen a few people recommend it on here. Does it hurt a lot? Do you feel different/better afterwards?

summerbird · 05/08/2008 10:55

spanglemaker my head and eyes hurt now - but THANK YOU very much for the info, i did ask!!

My AFs are like clockwork and i do know when i ovulate as i get that pain but just want to be sure that i am definitely at my optimum time!

SpangleMaker · 05/08/2008 11:24

I am a total bit of a nerd about this now!

I'd suggest having a go with the OPKs first then, I thought it was quite exciting seeing the line appear on one day then getting my pain the day after. What a geek I am!!

dharma · 05/08/2008 12:31

Re the pain at ovulation, it's only in the last 2 months that I have correlated the two in my brain - how dumb am I??!

Anyway, spangles, re acupuncture, it hurst when the needles go in, but for the next 20-30 mins there is no pain - just an excuse to go to sleep really!!

I guess it is working in other depts as I really do feel better within myself (had 3 months of being really run down from apr-jun) so maybe that is the acupuncture - no real way of knowing. Anyway, we shall see in 2 weeks whether it's been helping in the pg area!

It is expensive though - although after the first month of going once a week, you then go once a fortnight.

summerbird · 05/08/2008 15:14

i might just go for the boots own make for a first try then move onto the more expensive ones if necessary.

apparantly they worked for Jools Oliver so who am i to disagree??!!

SpangleMaker · 05/08/2008 16:52

i've tried the Boots ones (2 months) and the Superdrug ones (2 months). Superdrug ones worked both times, Boots neither. But - TMI alert - your wee needs to be fairly strong (not fmu though), think it suggests you don't drink for a few hours & test at the same time of day. Think that's where I went wrong with the Boots ones, don't think it's the tests. Am trying the Superdrug ones again this month though.

Good luck

SpangleMaker · 05/08/2008 16:56

dharma sounds good, seems it's had some really beneficial effects for you, if you get yourself a bfp I'll be booking myself an appointment straight away!

SlippersAndPipe · 05/08/2008 19:35

Hi all.
Spangle and Flowerfairy - you really cheered me up with your camping talk . Thanks for that.
Thanks for all the info re sticks and temping. Am very tempted but doing nothing for fear of becoming too obsessed if I start (Obsessive Compulsive and all that )

Feeling a little down. Saw my friend over the weekend who confided in me that she has just started ttc#2. I didn't confide in return (don't like people in rl knowing), especially as my friend is ultra competitive so would see it as a 'race'. When I relayed this to dh he made some unhelpful comment about we're not actively ttc. WTF? I've been wanting another for some time now, and thought he was fully on board, but that comment made me . But, surely he must be on board as we stopped using contraceptives three months ago? I don't understand and don't have the energy to discuss further. On the up side, this is the week for lots of bd-ing! He's not complaining!

Arrgghhh! Too much pressure on myself.

Dharma I've heard really good things about acupuncture. The needles put me off, but am thinking I might go for a few reflexology sessions (heard good things about this too). I've had reflexology in the past (to relas) and totally enjoyed it, so even if nothing comes of it, am sure I will enjoy it.

dharma · 06/08/2008 09:19

Slippersandpipe - the main thing is that it is BD week for you and that should put a smile on you and your dh's faces!!

Re your friend, I agree with you not telling her - that will only put more pressure on you which will make things worse.

I think the reflexology is a great idea - after all, it's when we are relaxed that things start to flow better, isn't it? Personally I view it as a chance to get an hour's kip!

The needles only hurt in acupuncture when she puts them in - after that it's fine - you don't really feel them at all. (but then again that's me!)

Good luck for this week

flowerfairy · 06/08/2008 10:05

Morning all. I keep wonderng about reflexology too. My dad has got a book about it which i keep reading, though doing it to yourself is not quite the same. I'd rather have aprofessional do it!

My sister also had some done while pg and said it was quite revealing and very relaxing.

summerbird · 06/08/2008 11:24

i just love a good massage (not always a kinky one but a one that chills me out!!)

SpangleMaker · 07/08/2008 13:29

Hi all

slippers don't feel too down about your DH's attitude. I think many men find the thought of actively TTC a bit scary and unromantic. TBH when I started I didn't want to get all scientific about it (and look what's happened ), I had this idea it would just magically happen . My DH was able to maintain this fantasy a lot longer than me, and although he is actively ttc now, i think it's more that he wants to please me than being in a rush to get pg.

I reckon you did the right thing not telling your friend. Against my better judgement I told my SIL the other night ... she asked me directly and I'm so crap at lying! I also have a friend at work who knows. I don't mind her knowing - she is lovely and supportive - but I do feel the pressure of continually saying 'not this month'.

On the positive (and selfish, materialistic) side, now they both know they can save their baby stuff for me

SpangleMaker · 07/08/2008 13:45

Oh and in further fertility news, I've just had a really good book delivered from Amazon Fully Fertile

it's a 12 week body, mind, spirit programme based on yoga, healthy lifestyle & dealing with stress/negative thoughts. Am pleased as it is encouraging rather than prescriptive - I can't be doing with ones that make you feel like a failure if you have so much as a slice of cake/coffee/whatever!

Better go & dust off me yoga mat.....

Lionstar · 07/08/2008 14:07

Hi all, I love this thread for keeping me super-informed of all the conception technologies/theories out there.

Came across another one the other day - about examining your saliva under a microscope - it creates a 'fern-like pattern' when you are ovulating. Now I happen to have a microscope at home and yesterday I got all the ovulating symptoms (mucous and god-awful tummy pains) so I thought I'd give it a go - an blow me it DID make pretty fern-like patterns! However very unscientifically I hadn't tried before without ovulating saliva so got DP to stand in (I don't think he's ovulating ), and we couldn't see any patterns developing. So from one very unscientific test it does seem to work. You can buy re-useable kits online to do do this yourself which include a little stick microscope - might be cheaper than the test sticks in the long run?

As we had the microscope out and obviously were getting some bedroom action in I was tempted to get a sample of DPs 'boys' and have a gander - but in the post coitus state just didn't have the energy - and besides was busy keeping my bum up in the air (every little helps right?)

Now begins the 2WW again - sigh.

SpangleMaker · 07/08/2008 15:11

lionstar you did make me laugh! It's not glamorous this ttc lark, is it?!

I've read about the saliva test but never tried it or heard from anyone who has, so really interesting to hear from you that it works - must have a go, in the name of science and all that.

Would be fascinating to see all the swimmers too, all wriggling about looking for eggs

summerbird · 07/08/2008 17:25

PMSL lionstar i love a good experiment - tho not with me legs in the air - although you could position the microscope next to you whilst akimbo - i dont really see the problem!!

spangles looks like a good book

oh for the love of god - i am working from home today and have just finished and there is a screaming kid outside - praps i should just adopt one at say 16 perhaps??

flowerfairy · 07/08/2008 17:50

I was beginning to wonder if everyone had gone camping for the week

Lionstar you made me laugh, had been feeling abit down but am much better now.

Spanglemaker your book sounds intriguing will you keep us posted as to whether it works.

DarrellRivers · 07/08/2008 18:08

very good lionstar at the ferning saliva
I had also read this somewhere but generally I don't think people have microscopes at home.
You have made me laugh
I have signed up to a years worth of VIP fertility friend as that is how long at least I reckon it is going to take me.
I reckon the only solution is to throw loads of money at TTC.
Of course I know it makes no sense

OP posts:
SpangleMaker · 07/08/2008 18:22

Darrell, be warned the intercourse timing analyzer, chart overlay and 'find charts like mine' are sooo addictive!

Re throwing money at TTC, I am trying to decide whether to get the his&hers Zita West preconception vitamins - over £100 for 3 months My SIL told me it took them ages to get their DD2, after 9 months they started the vitamins and 3 months later (how long it's supposed to take to get into your system properly), just as she was about to go on Clomid, they got a BFP. It's a lot of cash but have easily blown that peeing on sticks since starting TTC.

Just done an hour of yoga practice & feel VERY chilled out

DarrellRivers · 07/08/2008 18:36

I think the only thing for it is to throw anything you possibly can in desperation
(don't listen to a word I'm saying, I might have gone crazy as every one I know seems to have got pregnant in the last week)
Softens the pain slightly feeling you might be doing everything you possible can.
Disclaimer, only spend the money if you have got enough money to, remeber investments can go down in price as well as up!
If you need the money for your mortgage, then don't buy the vitamins

OP posts:
SpangleMaker · 07/08/2008 18:49

darrell it sounds like you are in something of a TTC frenzy! Well in this book it says it is good for us to be around pregnant people/babies so some of the baby karma can rub off. As you say, anything is worth a try.

Thankfully our house is not in danger from expensive vitamins, only my Lancome habit... looks like it's Maybelline for me!

dharma · 07/08/2008 20:56

Hi all - checking in for today's discussion!

So lionstar, you found that fern like pattern eh? I remember hearing about this about 2/3 yrs ago, whilst TTC dc1 and I bought the online exam thing that you must be referring to. I did the saliva test whilst ovulating (as I did the stick too) and could not see a damn thing!! If you have a microscope at home, maybe this means you are used to looking down one. I however, last looked into one way back in school when it was amoeba, I think!! (and I'm not sure I could see much back then, either).

So I would say steer clear of the microscope unless you know a thing or two about it! (mind you it could be just that my eyesight is terribly poor)

Spangles - re zita pills, I took these whilst TTC no1 as well. I took the pre conception ones but after falling pg, I moved onto the zita 1st trimester ones and they were really big and totally solid (unlike the pre conception ones) and I just couldn't swallow them. so I asked my obstetrician about them and he said that pregnacare were just as good, or another one he recommended was Biocare Ante Natal pills.

So I moved onto the Biocare and then as the pregnancy wore on, I moved onto pregnacare, as it's much cheaper!

now that I am TTC again, I am back on the biocare until the funds run out and I go back to pregnacare!

So to cut a long story short (except I haven't really, have I?!) I would maybe try zita or biocare, but then maybe move onto pregnacare once pg??!

Anyway, I too have done all I can in the BD arena for this month and the fruits of my labour may become apparent next week / [happy].

Lionstar · 07/08/2008 22:10

Well glad I raised a laugh or two

I'm not sure I'd buy into expensive vitamins and suchlike. However I do believe in a good diet and lifestyle for at least 3 months before TTC. We did this for the first pregnancy and were successful first time. This time around it seems to be taking a bit longer (but only on second attempt now). For both partners I would recommend giving up smoking and drinking for 3 months. A healthy diet with lots of green veg and fish (for those omegas). Men should eat brazil nuts for the selenium, plus sources of folic acid and zinc. I've been taking Pregnacare for the last month, plus Omega supplements.

It is just as importmant for the man to get on board with this, it takes at least 72 days to make a sperm, so they have their responsibilities too. Only fair as we then have 9 months of further privations. Oh and no saunas/hot-tubs or nylon underwear during this time too

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