TTC number 3 aged 42

[FiB83]

Hi

Not really sure what I'm looking for here but if nothing else I'll use this as a diary of my feelings etc. I joined a chat years ago for my first pregnancy and am still friends with some of those lovely ladies so hoping to find some people who are on their TTC journey and we can share experiences l.

As the title suggests I'm 42, I have two beautiful children aged 7 and 9, we decided to try for another baby a year or so again, I needed to lose some weight so did that although I'm still overweight according to my BMI but you know how it is... I'm fairly average at a size 14-16. I still have very regular cycles and don't believe I'm anywhere near the menopause yet....

Anyways, I'm 9dpo I think, I don't do opk or anything like that, tried one month but didn't enjoy feeling obsessed over it and it didn't work anyway..I feel I know my body quite well and am aware of the signs of when I'm ovulating if I am. With our first child it took a good 2 years with one chemical pregnancy in that time before.ewe actually got our baby. With our second child...well we thought about trying and then I was pregnant... Amazing how that happens isn't it!?

So here I am, 9dpo and with virtually no discharge at all. 2 days ago I had a huge amount of white cm that was abit stretchy. I've had a headache on and off and been soooo unbelievably emotional. This isn't normal for me but we are going through quite a bit with our youngest and other normal life events so may be that I suppose. I've had sore breasts and I swear they are bigger if that is even possible!.maybe just very slight cramps over the past couple of days but that maybe only.when I'm thinking about it...

Anyone else at this stage and fancy a buddy to compare notes? I'd love to chat.

@january1244 aw I’m sorry to hear that, how are u feeling about the treatment and what does it mean for the treatment of u actually are pregnant? Xx

@DmcinT I haven’t tested yet- I’m on 7 dpo too! Looks like I have another cycle buddy!! In an ideal world I would wait until the missed period, however I have a bottomless brunch this Saturday so will test then on 10 dpo. We had a positive at 10 dpo for my second daughter, however I do know there’s a chance I would be too early.

I’ve found myself getting nervous about another MMC, even though I know that worrying won’t change anything

@DmcinT what are your testing plans?

Thank you for the welcomes @FiB83 and @DmcinT :) It really does help knowing you’re not alone on this journey.

@DmcinT I’m exactly the same with the swinging from hope to being convinced I’m out every cycle. It’s exhausting! I think I’m going to try not to track very much this cycle because I feel like I need a bit of a break from ttc. I’m still going to do OPKs because ovulation changes a bit month to month, but won’t check BBT and will try my hardest not to obsess and symptom spot!

@Bumblebee413 ah great, I didnt realise we were on same dpo, nice to have a buddy! Similar to u I will test Saturday as I’ve a night out (it’s my birthday)
if u get a negative will u drink as normal or what are u thinking? I’m in 2 minds

@Sonic85 every month I say I’ll not test and just take a relax approach to it for this cycle but then I get afraid of missing it all and come CD 10 I’m back testing 😅🫣 I do feel I need a break from it all atm thou, June, July and Aug we won’t be ‘trying’ so if we’re not pregnant by then it’ll be a nice long break from thinking about it all

@DmcinT Yes I’m only CD7 now, so we’ll see how I feel in a few days! I always have that feeling that this month might be the one so I need to give it my all. I think it’s a great idea to have a few months off “trying”. Fingers crossed for Saturday!

@DmcinTits your birthday weekend away!! Have fun!. Personally I am in the ‘drink til it’s pink’ camp, so would indulge in some wine and cocktails etc. For me, on an early test, 10 dpo is normally pretty conclusive. Probably why I hate testing early, takes away the hope 🙈

Im okay with it thanks, like you say it’s a break from obsessing in the last few days of each cycle. I don’t think it will have worked this month, we’ve been staying with people etc over Easter break and so have only managed twice in this estimated fertile window on the app.

I did also have such a nice couple days out with the kids and they were a handful already. I was wondering how I’d cope doing these things with another in tow. My partner has been struggling with the terrible twos and emotional threes en masse also, so I know he’s leaning towards being thankful for what we’ve got

A Few of you will be testing very soon though! Fingers crossed!

I will be drinking. I’m figuring there’s a 20% chance of a pregnancy and also at the stage where it would be if there was one, my blood alcohol levels would be unlikely to have any effect on implantation or development. Obviously I wouldn’t be drinking on a regular basis but one day (I’m not a super heavy drinker either tbh) shouldn’t make too much difference. Also, if I’m not pregnant it would make a celebratory day challenging in terms of explaining why I’m not drinking and I would probably look back and wish I’d just gone out and relaxed for the day rather than hampering for an imaginary pregnancy.

We had a MMC last cycle and a chemical before that. The reality of being pregnant again is sinking in a little and there is fear there that there wasn’t before. Which makes sense. Hard times are hard.

I’m there with you @Bumblebee4133 losses last year have taken their toll. When I see how amazing my partner is with my DD it really is mixed emotions, I love how close they are but I’m aware that he’s missed out on the baby/toddler/early childhood stages. He would be the best dad ever and me/DD are so lucky to have him

They do take their toll and they also make any new pregnancy a stressful and anxious time.

@january1244 @Bumblebee413 yeah I will prob have one or 2 anyways if negative at 10 dpo ( I had a positive test with both pregnancies at that point so it’s pretty conclusive at that stage for me I reckon.. but u never know)

pregnancies after loss are just a whole other ball game, I had such naive excitement in my first pregnancy, never thought anything would go wrong. It made it so hard to even accept I was pregnant the second time, I really don’t think I thought we’d end up with a baby until she was in my arms and I had/have a lot of trauma around thinking it could all be taken away in the blink of an eye.

we will do one more cycle of really trying now after this and give it a break for a few months, I think I really need to accept that it might not happen and that we’re more than happy with one perfect DD (41 and 42 now so the window is closing)

@DmcinTthere is no need to think that, especially as you’ve only just stopped breastfeeding. I was kind of blown away by your opk being more positive this month than previous ones. I never had any data as I don’t use them. Don’t be too pessimistic, I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it’s still early days for you in trying. As in it takes average couples up to a year in normal circumstances with no fertility issues

@january1244 ah I know and I’m prob just being a bit pessimistic, it’s only been 8 months but it feels so long and I really thought/planned and hoped I’d be well pregnant by my 41st birthday on Saturday (which I know is silly) but I think that has me a bit down too.
DH is looking forward to a break too, he doesn’t like the pressure to perform on certain days and I can understand that too. It’ll do both of us the world of good to not think about ttc for a while

Yeah I know, I think sometimes we put such pressure on ourselves with milestones like birthdays and age gaps slipping away etc. I’d say some time stepping away from the opks and tracking will do you the world of good.

I have to say, it surprised me last month how much time I spent thinking about it in that week before my period. It wasn’t a nice feeling, and I forgot how it kind of takes over your life

Gearing up for transfer in May of chromosomally tested embryos (euploids) retrieved at 42/43. If anyone is considering IVF and has any questions let me know. I started TTC for the first time at 42 and got pregnant cycle 4 but after a loss went straight to a clinic to sort through eggs fast rather than run down the clock.

I’ve been following this thread for a while but don’t think I’ve actually posted! I’m also 42 and very much feel like time is running out! Fell pregnant without trying at 38 and very naively thought we’d have quite an easy time with the second. We started trying when my first turned 2 and I was still breastfeeding. 5 months later I completely gave up breast feeding incase that was causing an issue, after 6 months I started acupuncture, and now I’ve finally started fertility testing. Wish I’d done that ages ago actually. She pointed out that we have three potential problems, age of my eggs, possible issues with the scaring from my emergency c section and possible blockages in my tubes as I had an infection in childbirth. Yesterday I had a hycosy and aqua scan which showed both scar issues and one ‘slow’ tube. Not really sure what happens next, waiting to hear from the fertility doctor. Wishing you all all the luck! And yes @sirensong many questions about IVF but not sure where to start

Did you do back to back collections? How much of a toll did it take on your body? And - if you don’t mind me asking - (and realising it’s different for everyone), how many eggs did you get to result in a few good ones?

@sirensong Can I ask how you selected the clinic and if they specialise in over 40s? What was the protocol? Did you see similar results from the retrievals or were some more successful than others?

I think I may have a problem. I have set up my pee cup and opened two tests for tomorrow morning. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I’m doing a white plastic one in case it’s positive and then we can keep it(!) but I know it’s a cheapie brand and if it’s negative I’ll want to do a cheapie stick anyway. I think I’ve cracked.

@Bumblebee413 I think this process can mess with us all! Have you tested yet?

I have. I’m non the wiser in some respects 😆 The sensitive test looks negative, unless you kind of look at it from an angle, in which case there appears to be a shadow. However I am full on bananas, so will be having a glass of fizz and then retesting in a few days at a more sensible time! I have no symptoms other than being tired and emotional, however I am tired and haven’t fully been myself since the miscarriage, so those are red herrings! X

@Bumblebee413 I feel and hear u so much ❤️ sending so much love x
I did a test this morning at either 9 or 10 dpo and feel none the wiser.. got is saying there’s a line but I dunno, I’m not sure?

Snap! That looks like mine 😆 there isn’t a line… but… is that a something that isn’t a line but isn’t quite nothing??

@Bumblebee413 yip exactly the same, I’m like yes yes I see it and a second later I’m like nah there’s nothing there 😅 off to have a cocktail for my birthday for try forget about it lol