TTC number 3 aged 42

[FiB83]

Hi

Not really sure what I'm looking for here but if nothing else I'll use this as a diary of my feelings etc. I joined a chat years ago for my first pregnancy and am still friends with some of those lovely ladies so hoping to find some people who are on their TTC journey and we can share experiences l.

As the title suggests I'm 42, I have two beautiful children aged 7 and 9, we decided to try for another baby a year or so again, I needed to lose some weight so did that although I'm still overweight according to my BMI but you know how it is... I'm fairly average at a size 14-16. I still have very regular cycles and don't believe I'm anywhere near the menopause yet....

Anyways, I'm 9dpo I think, I don't do opk or anything like that, tried one month but didn't enjoy feeling obsessed over it and it didn't work anyway..I feel I know my body quite well and am aware of the signs of when I'm ovulating if I am. With our first child it took a good 2 years with one chemical pregnancy in that time before.ewe actually got our baby. With our second child...well we thought about trying and then I was pregnant... Amazing how that happens isn't it!?

So here I am, 9dpo and with virtually no discharge at all. 2 days ago I had a huge amount of white cm that was abit stretchy. I've had a headache on and off and been soooo unbelievably emotional. This isn't normal for me but we are going through quite a bit with our youngest and other normal life events so may be that I suppose. I've had sore breasts and I swear they are bigger if that is even possible!.maybe just very slight cramps over the past couple of days but that maybe only.when I'm thinking about it...

Anyone else at this stage and fancy a buddy to compare notes? I'd love to chat.

@Sa11yCinnamon that looks like a good strong line, huge congrats 🥳

thank you, trying desperately not to get ahead of myself but at least I know it's still a possibility 😅

My opk was 0.33 today so I think perhaps my baseline is just higher now with stopping breastfeeding, hoping that means a better quality egg for ovulation, better lining etc 🤞🏽

was afraid it was gona mess up this cycle

Oh @Sa11yCinnamon congratulations! That looks great!!

@BurningOutt so sorry you’ve experienced all that, it sounds terrifying. Keeping everything crossed for your scan.

Just thought I’d share my OPKs from last cycle to say that it looks as if anything is possible with how things trend 😂 This was my first ovulation after my MMC so could have been my hormones being a bit crazy, but there was definitely no build up to it hormone level wise.

I’m using that to reassure myself this cycle as my levels are so low so far.

I am absolutely with you all on the weight thing. I’ve been trying to shift the extra weight I have accumulated after my elder daughters and then 8 weeks of eating to keep morning sickness at bays and then the comfort eating post loss. I’m a binge eater unfortunately and just can’t seem to control myself. What I have started doing is exercise sessions to build up my core and pelvic floor and I’m holding onto that as something positive that I’m doing despite the self destructive eating. I do Bumps and Burpees Postnatal Thrive programme as it’s easy to fit around the kids. Also very easy not to do when I’m exhausted, so, swings and roundabouts 😂

Had a phone consult with the doctors today about my miscarriages. They got blood done a little while ago which didn’t show any reasons for them. I booked in for a scan next week and also have a referral to a genetics clinic too
She also said I’ll be eligible for early support if we’re lucky to fall pregnant

The support sounds positive. How are you feeling about it all? X

I’m glad I’m getting some support, where I can see all the communication between my docs and epau I’d got a bit upset as some of them said “it’s probably as she is quite old” and that they didn’t have a recurrent miscarriage clinic

@TheFutureIs itll be nice to get some answers and support, what age did u say u are again?
@Sa11yCinnamon have tested again since, how are u feeling?

I got high on opks yesterday and still high this morning in the 0.7- 0.9 ranges so assume I’ll ovulate today which is early for me CD12 but I knew hormones were deff higher and things kicked off earlier this cycle with stopping breastfeeding. Now my problem is I’ll be 10/11 dpo on my birthday 🫣 do I test and possibly put myself in bad form or do I try resist and live with the hope for the day, the thing is myself and husband are going away for the night so would be having drinks etc so maybe eat to test I dunno 🤷🏼‍♀️

How is everyone else getting on?

I was 43 in December. That’s a tough call, how badly would a negative affect you? And would you be disappointed to not feel like you can celebrate your day with a few drinks?

@Sa11yCinnamon congratulations!!!!! How exciting, amazing news! how are you feeling?

@TheFutureIsthat is so horrible, I’m so sorry you read that. Have they given you a plan?

@january1244I had bloods a little while ago which were all normal. Got an ultrasound to check physical side next week and then possibly an appointment with genetics

@DmcinT I got 1-2 weeks on clearblue digital on Saturday! It must have been stopping feeding that messed up my last cycle so I’d say just go with it 😊

@january1244 thanks, I’m still feeling very cautious about it! I’m just exhausted, booked this week off (a while ago) to do loads of DIY stuff at home and I’ve barely done anything 😅

Hi @sirensong I just wanted to say thanks for the evidence based, calm advice. It's so easy to get muddled and frazzled with options which helps nothing. This really reinforces my understanding of the science. I don't take a multivitamin but do took the others you mention, as I read that doctors often don't feel it makes sense, but maybe I should start! Do you know is 600mg also the recommendation for ubiquinol form of CoQ10?

To everyone else, I just want to say that it is so heartening to read all your experiences, and to feel a little less alone. Sometimes in these threads we don't get many direct responses, but just reading without responding means so much to me..

I'm 42, TTC for 18 months, regular periods and ovulating, all tests normal for age and currently too high BMI for IVF. Focussing on weight loss for six months which will hopefully improve natural odds as well as open up IVF possibilities. I had one internal ultrasound which the tech said wasn't very clear because of my weight but I've no symptoms of anything. No positive tests at all so far.

I've been feeling very low the past two months. I have a wonderful family, my husband and his daughter who has been with us/me full time for seven years now. I had a very active and fulfilling 20s/30s and never thought much about kids but since deciding to try in my late 30s the desire has grown.

Now I feel a lot of regret about my life choices and my weight, but I am trying to refocus on the many positive futures with or without my own little one some day.

I'm focussing on eating whole foods, veg and protein, walking or swimming each day, and I'm taking high dose CoQ10 and Vit D as well as folic acid. I want to start meditating to try to quiet the fears.

All advice welcome. Thanks for sharing your journey with me.

A multivitamin like Pregnacare Conception is just to cover bases but fine to take folic acid in isolation and focus on a Mediterranean diet.

I just took CoQ10 but I think if taking ubiquinol you can go for half the quantity.

Because 42 is a time crunch, it may be worth considering a GLP to reduce faster. Age is the bigger challenge than weight.

You don't say your BMI but private clinics will go up to 35 (vs NHS 30) and some have no particular limit and assess patients case by case.

Best of luck and give yourself grace for any choices your younger self made with their circumstances at the time.

Thanks. I'm conflicted about the GLP because it would mean stopping trying for a bit. I've given myself til August this year to lose, and then I think I'll opt for GLP as a general life decision, setting pregnancy aside for a while. My BMI is above 40, which is my local clinic's cut-off.

I just got 2.14 on an opk, I didn’t even know that was possible, I got peak this morning but it has continued to rise even higher throughout the day. Has anyone had that before? I knew hormone levels were higher than normal but this seems a bit mental

Hello everyone, can I join you please?

I’ve just turned 41and we’ve been trying for number 2 for almost a year. The first few cycles were a bit off as I’d just stopped breastfeeding and I had to stop entirely to get my period back. I think I may have had a chemical a few months ago because my period was a little late and heavier/longer than usual and the following cycle was off- ovulated about a week later than usual. Of course that was the one month I decided to stop tracking/testing as much, so no way to know if it was for sure.

I have to say I was a bit naive going into this and assumed it would have happened by now :( I am looking into IVF but not sure that’s something we will ultimately pursue.

I think I’m 10 DPO today but not very hopeful at the moment. I might test tomorrow.

Hope everyone is doing well

That’s a fabulous line @DmcinT !

Welcome @Sonic85, you’re very welcome. Did you test?

I’m currently 4dpo. I’m not sure what our chances will be this month. We managed to DTD the night before ovulation and the night before that but I’ve had minor surgery on the bottom of my spine and it just made things Very difficult and sore. Couldn’t face it on the actual day we were meant to do it!

My best friend is currently going through IUI and got inseminated on the same ovulation day as me (!) so I am praying so hard that it all works for her. This would be her first baby and my third. It would be hands down amazing if it happened at the same time, but if only one of us gets pregnant I really want it to be her. I feel greedy at this point!

How is everyone else doing?

Thank you @Bumblebee413 Fingers crossed for you and your best friend this cycle!

I tested and it was negative and then a few hours later my period started, meaning my luteal phase was only 10 days. It’s usually 12, so I’m not sure if the suspected chemical pregnancy has caused some disruption or something else is going on.

Anyway, another cycle and trying to stay positive!

Hey all, sorry I've been off for a while been busy with the kids and stress and we ended up booking a little trip to north Devon, feeling much more relaxed now. I think I have ovulated yesterday's usually I get a bit of lower tummy discomfort. We haven't gone as crazy dtd this month but it only takes once doesnt it.
@Sa11yCinnamon congratulations on your bfp!! How are you feeling?

@BurningOutt how's things going?

@Sonic85 welcome! We are similar age and it's lovely to have a group of similar women.

@FiB83thank you! I’m ok, very tired and have a bad cold but think that’s helping me hide it from my in laws who are staying with us, so every cloud 😅

Glad you had a good break, it’s so important x

When are you planning on telling people @Sa11yCinnamon?
I thought I hadn’t ovulated this month, but hoping it’s just been delayed a couple of days as my opk’s did go up a bit
We have dtd quite a lot too.
Has anyone used a conception cup? I’m thinking of getting one for next cycle if this month is not successful

@TheFutureIs my sister and two best friends know but I’ll wait til I’ve had at least one scan before telling anyone else.

@Sonic85 welcome along, we are the same age also and similar trying for #2 but hormones a little off with stopping breastfeeding also. Started ttc last Sept and can’t believe we’re in April still not pregnant, we were deff naive in thinking it would happens lot sooner. How did u go with testing after that?

@FiB83 how was ur few days away? Nice to get to relax and switch off. How many dpo are u now, I think we are usually around the same but I know my O was Deff earlier this month.

@Bumblebee413 how fun if u were both pregnant and due same time, hoping that’s the case for u both 🤞🏽 have u tested yet this cycle?

I am about 7 dpo but have taken a drop in rhr so fear I’m prob out 😕 unless it rebounds as they say u can have a dip around implantation but just not feeling very hopeful unfort. I had lots of wee stingy twinges last night so felt hopeful, it’s mad how the optimism swings over these few days

how is everyone else?

I have to have some treatment which you can’t have when pregnant. I’m probably only 1 or 2 dpo, but not sure as I don’t opk. So having to hold off in the (v unlikely) event I’m pregnant, and then will have to postpone ttc for a little bit. Will still watch and se how you’re all getting on!