***Lets support eachother again- you know who you are ***

[mummy2olivia]

charliesmum, nandos, beakas, sugr, cornflower, poppy, becky and everyone else who miscarried in may/june 2008....

We have all been very brave together and supported eachother. For those of us that are ready, it may be time to support eachother again as we return to TTC. Lets hold hands, remember our loss and give a nod to the future as we endeavour to procreate and............

SHAG!!

As promised, a thread to stay in touch. Will also see you on the MC avengers thread.

Just finishing 2 loads of washing and still have loads more to wash tmr..how on earth can my tiny basket fill up so much laundry??
u r so funny MBM ..confusing yourself over your dates eh? i usually use the ovulation test kit if i really wanna know the exact date.
got to continue with my laundry before it turns into a mountain!
gd nite everyone

YO!!!

Sorry have been busy

Sorry to be gross but my fairy has been blowing its nose (think its called EWCM in conception circles!!) so made the most of it and got some pokey in just in case although I am sure I wouldnt be OVing now.

Am slightly sick of people saying stupid things to me. have been invited to a baby shower this week and told that someones mate who I barely know is due the same week I WAS- 'am I ok with it??!!' WHAT THE MOTHER???!!!!!!!! I dont want anybody to tip-toe round me, far from it, but I would like people to think before they open their fat gobs. Me and DH had a good cry together last night.

Hope you are all good xxxxx And I'm with Nandos- sod the ILs, get shagging!!!!

Lol re fairy blowing it's nose - have never heard that expression before! Glad you had pokey Do you normally ov at the end of the fairy snots? I always thought I ov'd at the beg of it, but then read something y'day which said that it's more likely to happen at the end. Confused....me...nah

Ggggrrrrr re thick stupid people - 'are you okay with it?' What did they expect you to say, 'yes fine thanks'? FFS. My homeopath surprised me yesterday by asking how I felt about the mc. Urm, upset? Grrrrrrrr!!!!!!

Hope you got your washing done nandos? Aren't ov tests v expensive? Am tempted, but think if I start buying them, then will become obsessed with them too, and it'll cost me a fortune!

What are you both up to over the weekend? I have a leaving party for a guy I work with tomorrow, and am just off out to buy ingredients to make a yummy choc cake to take
Have a nice day

I am keeping well away from OV tests. They make me very stressed!!

After 15 months of TTC and torturing myself, I reckon the best way to TTC is to love your husband, make lots of time for him, do lots of hugging and snogging, if you both feel very in tune and close then relaxed sex will follow and then you dont need to worry about timing

Am still taking my vits and have reflexology on Wednesday- cant wait!! it was soooo lovely and relaxing.

hope you are all having a good weekend

Where do you think beakas went to??? havent seen her in ages!!!

You are so right m2o. I so hope it doesn't take that long again for you to become pregnant.

Yes, hope beakas is okay...

ps my choc cake was a disaster I undercooked the sponge, burnt the chocolate and then broke the cake when I tried to fling it altogether. I shall be the laughing stock of the party for turning up with a battered cake I am very proud of myself.

pps think I may now be ov'ing - hurray/confused at the same time. About to try and tempt dh to be a little cheeky wihile his parents are here

m2olivia..
unfortunately i am still struggling with my dh dont know how to feel nice or be nice towards him sometimes.
MBM,
hate it when i undercooked the sponge too and yeah dont worry too much abt your PIL

Oh Nandos (((((((hugs))))))))

I remember you saying before that you were struggling with your hubby. It must be so difficult for you.
Remember, we are all friends here and this is anonymous as life gets sometimes so if you want to talk about it, we are all here

Bum, I wouldnt care how battered the cake is- if its chocolate it would be gone!!

Your prediction was right m2o - all gone, even though you could see the little burnt bits of chocolate!

nandos, yes, we are definately here to listen any time you need to talk. Sorry it's still difficult with your dh.

Have to go as MIL about to dish up supper - will try to come back later, if not then 'see' you tomorrow

Hello all! I'm soooo tired after the hen weekend I've just been on. I had such a good time though it was a real tonic. The Samba drum session was brilliant. I took out all my frustrations on those drums! I feel so old though; I just can't take the pace anymore. We had a meal and then out to a pub until 1am dancing to tunes that were at least 16 years old (nearly as old as some of the people in the pub) and I was in bed by 1.30am but feel so tired today. When I was young....

PS monkeybumsmum I can't make cakes at all. DH makes wonderful cakes that would make Nigella gush with pride but mine? Pancakes more like so I sympathise. It's the taste that is the important thing anyway

Think I am ovulating - yippeee! Am working from home today and was tempted to call hubby back from work - but then realised once you go down that path it is a back to the stressful, forcing yourself kind of sex and have promised myself this time that I will leave the ovulating sticks in the shop and stop the obsessiveness. As I am relatively new to mumsnet I don't understand half of your shorthand!!! I get the gist of the meaning, but not what the actual letters stand for, sometimes it is like reading a foreign language!! Is there a guide anywhere, or can someone hlep me out!!!! I know DH means husband, but why? And AF??? All way over my head! Nandos I am sorry you are not getting the support at home that we all need. How about creating some real 'couple' time and do some really cheesey things you used to do when you were first together. Look at some old photos of happier times and have a good laugh at the memories, it may rekindle some sparks? Everyone is so different, so my advice may be rubbish for you, but am thinking of you and hope things get better.

I used to think AF stood for Aunt Flo as in character from Bod (children's programme from the 1970s) but later found out it is Aunt Fanny.

Dear Husband I think is DH.

Took me ages to figure out RL as real life.

TTC was alien to me too until I was TTCing myself.

thx for the advice ladies
might try the 'cheesy' thing again but my 33 yr old dh now acts more like a 66 yr old man..seems to be grumpy all the time and can't be playful with me anymore (am 26 n a bit childish at times)
how do i make him happy?? i am helpless ( and hopeless)

Hes a man- spoil him, pamper him, make him feel like a god and he will be putty...

or wood.......

With my DH the way to his heart is through his stomach or laptop. If I said to him 'go and spend an afternoon in PC World and then have a Kentucky Fried Chicken on the way home' he'd be putty for the rest of the day.

My DH is also a bit of a middle aged man Nandos. He's 36 but even when I first met him when I was 18 he was middle aged in his mind. He goes on about his dodgy knee and falls asleep after lunch sometimes. Groan. I'm 36 going on 16 and he's 36 going on 66. He can be quite critical as well and if I do something 'stupid' he doesn't see the funny side. Like when I lost the door key and had to go out leaving the house unlocked. He was no happy. Or the time I lost DS1 in Sainsbury's and had to get the staff to help me find him (he had turned up in the wine section because apparently 'I thought mummy would be there' he had told the Sainsbury's staff).

I'm watching last night's Big Brother while wondering if my crampy stomach and PMT feelings are signs that my AF is finally about to show her ugly face. We had one unprotected love session but I'm not preggers, no chance, I can feel AF coming.

Oh Nandos, I don't know what to say. It is so difficult. I feel so sorry for you, and I am sure you have tried it, but have you poured your heart out to him, and been totally honest with your feelings? not just over the mc e.t.c. but with how you feel he has dealt with it and persuade him to tell you everything. Men are funny creatures and sometimes need it all spelt out for them. I am sure I am probably not saying anything you haven't tried, but really hope things improve for you.

On another subject, does watching big brother make anyone else feel better about themselves? I sometimes think I am highly strung and a bit challenging, but compared to that lot I seem well adjusted and level headed! Very reassuring!!

Desperately trying to lose weight at the moment, seemed to have spent the last year comfort eating and I can't ignore it now. I have put on a stone in the last year - arghhhh! I don't want to deplete my body of any nutrients whilst TTC, but I really have to get some pounds off, otherwise, if and when I do get pregnant there will be no going back. I also read somewhere that even being just half a stone overweight can increase the risk of miscarriage - do we think that is true? Any great tips on losing weight and not feeling hungry?!!!! Any miracle chocolate diets out there?!!!!
xxxx

morning ladies
well i was away pleasing DH from yesterday evening onwards..
even before he asked for a tissue(he has a flu), i already gave him one and he looked at me very surprised.
well small steps at a time i know but its true small things do count..
and we went to the supermarket and laughed most of the time at little things, cooked dinner together and was quite happy yesterday.
still mad at him for not consoling me when i had miscarriage though we talked abt it few days back and i cried quietly..
well past is past but all i know im trying my best to be nice from now onwards ..
thx for letting me share my problems to you all and making you read this and for all the advice..
really needed it

xx hugs everyone xxx

Hi girls

Phew, been quite busy for a few days, but got the day off sick today, so have an opportunity to catch up, in between taking to my bed and feeling sorry for myself

nandos, that's great to hear you being a bit more positive about dh. It is tough sometimes isn't it, especially when they don't help you through the tough times. My dh wasn't great about this last mc either, but I've come to the conclusion that he won't ever be able to understand how awful it was for me - he just thinks differently to how I do. Sometimes I think you have to draw the line under a certain event/incident and move on from there. If you choose to dwell on it then it'll just lead to bigger problems. It's the little things that really seem to help though - I believe that what you invest, you get back, and that seems to be working with my dh. I'm trying to be more affectionate and caring, and he seems to be doing the same without thinking about it. I so hope that things continue to improve for you, but make sure you come and have a rant if and when you need to.

HtheH, that's great that you're ov'ing, here's to lots of shagging Yum re miracle chocolate diets - someone could rake in a fortune if they could come up with one of them! Personally I think being a little bigger is not necessarily a bad thing. I was 8kg heavier than I am now when I got pg with ds, and thank god I was because I lost most of it with v bad morning sickness. It worries me being this weight now, because if I had the same happen again there would be no reserves for the baby. You're bound to worry whatever weight you are, whether you're too big, or too thin, but I don't reckon it makes that much difference. One of my friends is very overweight, and she's had two completely trouble free pregnancies... FWIW I don't think a stone is very much anyway, just relax and have fun shagging. Ooohhh there's a good way to lose weight

Becky, you are so funny. Had a good laugh at your ds thinking he would find you in the wine section - love it! Any news on AF?

My AF arrived today!!! Horrray! I feel that my body is back to it's normal self again in a way and we can start TTC properly this month.

Nandos I am glad you had a better time with your DH and a talk and the chance to laugh about things as well. It is really hard. My DH just threw himself into work and planning the house move which at the time drove me mad. I wanted to spend some time grieving and feeling sorry for what had happened. He would comfort me but it was like he was saying 'this is something you went through by yourself' rather than something we went through together. Men are really funny creatures.

Big Brother is a great tonic I find. What a bunch they are this year! I agree HtheH watching it makes me feel that I am not losing the plot totally as I had been thinking and in fact might be quite a sane person!!!!

Hope you are ok MBM, not too poorly. Take care of yourself.

hey becky,
thats good news. we can now all ttc properly at about the same time now...
well its really nice to hear when you said 'men are funny creatures'. the cashier at the supermarket yesterday told him off by telling him 'go and help your wife with the packing, dont just stand there!' then she continues with 'Men are all the same..' LOL..
i just realised its not just me thinking that men are insensitive...most women think the same too
re Big Brother, i dont watch it at all but instead watched The Desperate Housewives
btw hope everyone had a good day cos' you ladies have helped me a lot these past few days

HIYA!!!

Wish I could say for sure whether I am oving/afing or even just waiting for either but had 1st AF (i think) while still getting positive tests. Have only just 'gone negative' and stopped getting brown discharge so think this month may be a no go while my body settles. Its hardly surprising with having retained products etc. Am looking out for any signs of Oing but really think I might be best to wait for one more AF anyway, just to be sure my bits are all back to normal. Was talking to the maternity/gynae pharmacist at work about my experience of having clots and retained products removed by forceps (with a fucking nurse pinning my legs down whilst I screamed and cried but wont go into that ) and she said that basically I had a D&C with no anaesthetic. Feel bit apprehensive about TTC this month- was very excited but have felt a bit cautious the last couple of days. However with my track record of TTC, I dont think I need worry......

Have been getting a bit of fairy snot so am shagging every day anyway but me and DH have high pokey drives anyway so am looking at it more as making up for 3 months of no sex than TTC.

Bit bonkers really, heres me saying I feel really unsure about TTC this month and erring on the side of caution but when it comes to the crunch, after 15 months of TTC, I cant quite bring myself to stop it happening

Sorry for the me, me, me post!! hope you are all okay. Where is sugr, beakas???? they are not on sad and miserable either

Hi All

It is 22.40pm and I am still working . I've taken on too much work this week (I work freelance) and I am working every spare minute and it is veeeerrrry depressing. Must make sure it isn't like this when I am ovulating! Or it'll be a quick bonk and back to the laptop for me!

Hello!

Becky you work too hard! Hope it didn't take you too much longer last night and that you're not too tired.

m2o, can't believe what you've been through, it really does sound horrific. How could they do that to you I can relate to the uncertainty about ttc again, but even though I'm v nervous and don't quite know how I'd feel if I did get pg, I feel like I need to 'beat this thing' and just want to try, try and try again until I get a baby. Does that make sense?

As for the ttc, am now on CD 19, think I ov'd on CD 9 (possibly), and have been feeling sick for the last three days. DH convinced I'm up the duff. I think either a) I might be, b) I haven't actually ov'd yet, my cycle is messed up, and am feeling sick because I'm about to ov, or c) sickness is completely unrelated to anything (which is more likely really) Ooohhhh the uncertainty!

Hope everyone's okay today? Am worried about beakas and sugr too m20...

m2olivia hope u are feeling better now.. can't imagine u went thru' that..
well i think you are at least are luckier than others, cos' u have a fairy snot with you
MBM, hope that sick feeling is a good sign for you.
i am only CD 8 just finished my AF two days back but bled again today after doing the deed yesterday night! what is going on with me!
am feeling a little sick too..i dont know if i ovulated cos' like M2olivia i had a little fairy snot yesterday but its a little too early for ov cos' usually its CD 16 for me.
Everything seems to be messed up for i thought 1st AF is supposed to make it back to normal...
Grrrrr

Hi there

m2o I have always been amazed by your story (I remember reading about it on the MC threads) and when I went for my second scan I can remember thinking 'I hope they don't have to pull out 'products' like they did to poor m2o on mumsnet'. You are a saint for going through what you did.

mbm ooooh I wonder if you are up the duff! It's very exciting. I'm riding the crimson wave at the moment but can't wait to jump on poor DH soon for lots of red hot lovin'!

What does CD mean except for compact disc? I've just worked out what fairy snot is too! I always get fairy snot when I ovulate. I get a strange cramp and then it comes out almost straight away.

Making tea now: chilli and rice. Lovely.