The Hopeful Hearts Circle 1 - December 2025🎄💖

[Iris2024]

Hey! Welcome to the Hopeful Hearts Circle 💕

Look out for this tagline every month and keep in touch and follow each others journey every month. We all got each other and we’ve got this girls!

Welcome to a wishful December 🎄🤍💞

@overworkcompletely feel you with this. I can absolutely happen at your age but its also the mental impact on us every single month. It's exhausting and zapping all happiness out of me. 16 months with 2 chemicals months 3&4 x

Oh @overwork , I had such brilliant visions of you managing to find the strip that had gotten lost and it being positive - what a story that would have been to tell. And I know it's easy for me to say as I was lucky enough to have a positive this cycle but I know exactly what you mean about assessing your 'appetite' for TTC after a long journey. As @ChaE05 , the emotional rollercoaster over time is exhausting and it surely isn't healthy to be living life cycle by cycle.

At the moment, I don't have any holidays booked this year because I've been holding off booking anything 'just in case'. There's theatre tickets I wanted to book that I held off on because those dates could be close to a potential due date if I'd gotten pregnant on a particular cycle... It feels like it invades so many parts of your life and at some point, you do have to take a step back and think 'can I keep doing this?'

I had thought after my Christmas loss that I'd feel like I was done. I'd said to myself that I'd give it one more roll of the dice and if it didn't work, I couldn't put myself through it again. But I surprised myself after that to change my mind... with the offer of progesterone in a future pregnancy, I felt like I had to give that a try.

If this pregnancy results in a loss, I'm not sure where I'll be at. If I was younger, I'd take a break for sure and come back to it when I'd had chance to recover more but... it doesn't feel like I can afford to take that time.

I think it’s the pressure of age that’s the problem. I usually work well under pressure but not in this situation it turns out!
Ha I would also have liked to find that positive. But just started with the first spots of blood, so onto cycle 12 it is!
I’m going to book a last minute ski trip for next week, and something warm for the summer. No point holding out anymore. And I’m going to email a couple of IVF clinics near me. We won’t be doing IVF, but I think it’s time to do some tests and get some answers, if it’s not what we want to hear it would actually be nice to firmly draw that line underneath it. I do have my gynae NHS scan in April but that’s ages away and won’t actually tell me much anyway. I can’t help thinking that 11 cycles without anything at all is not a good sign!
Thanks as ever for all the support

@overwork honestly ttc is the most mentally exhausting thing i've ever done, I can't ever understand anyone enjoying it!
You put your whole life on hold don't you, I was the same as @Taysonic lived life by each cycle and would never book anything more than 9 months ahead for almost 2 years.
Getting some answers seems like a positive step for you though, got everything crossed for you!

@Taysonic did you manage the trip for the progesterone?

@overwork It's a good idea to get tested to at least know where you stand. There might be something to help you without going straight to IVF (some medication or maybe IUI). At least you can make an informed decision.

Thanks @LuckyDuck93 - I can confirm, I am now on progesterone! Picked them up Friday afternoon and been taking them since Friday evening. I can definitely already feel the effects...! I read someone describe it as 'like taking a sleeping tablet you didn't ask for' and that certainly rang true for me yesterday.

Just got to hope it does the trick. I'm trying not to test anymore. I will do a weeks indicator a week after my positive to sense check things are progressing. And then will do a test the week after. Hoping it says 2-3 weeks this week. And then 3+ next week.

@Taysonic sounds like a very level headed plan!

I had my scan this lunchtime and was right that this is not a progressing pregnancy. I don't even think I'm sad, just resigned because I was expecting this for the last week or so. So I can stop the heparin and progesterone and wait for it to pass. She did mention the possibility of HCG injection and hydroxychloroquine next time round but I need a further appointment at the clinic to discuss that. Oh and lose some weight so that's next on my hit list. But decisions to be made whether we wait until the next appointment to TTC again +/- getting lighter.

Oh Esssa, I'm so so sorry. I know you'd been emotionally preparing yourself for this outcome for a while but it doesn't make it any easier. I wish I knew what to say that might make it feel a little bit better. I'm really sorry for your loss.

Oh @EsssaI’m so sorry. You’ve definitely been through it emotionally this time around. I hope you’re able to take some time. Be kind to yourself.

@Taysonicsounds very sensible. Best of luck

Thank you. It sucks but I'm at the point I can't even muster a tear. That will probably change as my hormones do and the loss physically happens but at the moment I'm sort of relieved. I wasn't crazy. I knew it wasn't right a week ago.

So sorry you've had such a rough time @Esssa🫂 I wish there'd been a different outcome for you.😞

Totally agree with @overwork and others that your life is put on hold for this..it's exhausting 😞 xx

@Esssareally sorry to hear this 😟 such a horrible time being left in limbo when you knew what was happening. Thinking of you x
Why has she suggested the hydroxychloroquine? Xx

Tbh I think she was just mentioning things they can do. Not necessarily things that would apply to me which is a little like waving sweets in front of a toddler and then taking them away but we shall see. As I understand it from googling it helps with inflammation, placenta vascular system and immune responses. They are treating my with lmwh incase I have a clotting problem they haven't tested for so this cold be why she mentioned it.

That's a great but sad analogy of dangling sweets in front of a kid - I know exactly what you mean. How are you feeling now?

@Fullofconfusion how are you getting on? Thinking of you and sending love.

I’m doing ok. Back to work this week which I’ve honestly been dreading. I mostly work from home luckily but will be back in the office soon which will be even more daunting. I’m just taking each day as it comes though and my manager has been very understanding.

Currently driving myself a bit mad. I think my period is on the way, grumbly crampy tummy and I’m super snappy 🙈 not sure if I ovulated or not as LH strips didn’t peak but I did have lots of EWCM 18 days after the miscarriage. I’m now on day 29. Tortured myself with a pregnancy test yesterday which of course was negative. Going to strap in and just wait for AF now but it’s so frustrating not knowing when it’s going to arrive.

How are you doing @Taysonic?

I hope you’re being kind to yourself @Esssa

I'm okay so far. Had a bit of bleeding so it's starting. Consultant on Monday said it was a collapsing sac but still high up. I'm actually surprised it so quickly because last time it took a week off pessaries before I got any bleeding. I don't think they did any measurements but I'm a maximum of 7 weeks, which it definitely didn't look like so I'm hoping it's not too bad. All my other losses have been with growth at 8+ weeks and very floody for want of a better phrase.

It's IUI day for me today. I feel like I am stuck in a loop.

Fingers crossed third time is the charm. I am torn between having a good feeling /hoping and being too afraid to hope. It's a weird feeling.

I am so glad your manager has been supportive and understanding, it makes such a huge difference @Fullofconfusion - keep taking it easy and being kind to yourself. Grief definitely comes in waves so I know there will still be really tough days ahead but hopefully everything takes you a bit closer to your rainbow baby. Fingers crossed you're not left with uncertainty too much about when AF might arrive and you get some answers and a fresh cycle to focus on soon.

@Esssa as horrible as it is, I'm glad the bleeding has started for you because I think sometimes the wait and anticipation of it is sometimes worse. If it helps, I tend to do a big comfort shop to help me get through it - last time I spent a small fortune in B&M and Sainsburys but came back with new pjs, blankets, hot water bottle, sweet treats, comforting drinks, new book to read, candles... anything and everything that might make the process a little bit 'softer'.

Wishing you luck with your IUI today @Allmywishcometrue - hopefully it's quick and efficient and does the trick! Let us know how it goes.

Just checking in ladies…

@Esssa Im so so sorry. I feel so sad for you 😢 sending love to you 🩷 I know no words are going to help at the moment but please take care of yourself.

@overwork I would definitely get answers and you can always reach out to us to vent 🩷 Don’t give up! I’m 42 and I’m pregnant again.

I had an early reassurance scan today and seen the heartbeat 💓 I tell you even when you get a positive test it’s still a rollercoaster of emotions and worry.

Sending baby dust to all ✨✨✨

Oh @Iris2024thsts wonderful! And you are right, lovely bit of hope for me

Such great news @Iris2024, delighted for you 🥰 You are our beacon of hope!

How is everyone else doing? I got a positive ovulation test yesterday so officially back in the tww. Oh joy 🤣 Also in two weeks it'll be a year since my first miscarriage, so I'm expecting a bumpy emotional rollercoaster of a fortnight 🥴 x

Hi all. Sorry to absolutely dump on the lovely positive news from @Iris2024 but it's not looking good for me.

Out of absolutely nowhere today, just started cramping and bleeding. I can't possibly imagine this will have a good outcome. It's a real kick in the teeth after seeing a few days of good test progression.

Only 4+6 weeks today. Not feeling in any way optimistic

Oh @Taysonicim so sorry. Have you spoken to EPAU? Sending 🫂 and hope xxx

Oh my goodness this just seems so unfair to be happening again. I’m so sorry.