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Conception

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Original poster

I’m 48 and want to have a baby

270 replies

mum2boys123 · 14/12/2024 14:24

Hello all,

I am 48 and mum to 2 boys , 22 and 14 years old. I know I have left it really late but desperate for another child. I know 48 is not an ideal age and pregnancy can involve lots of complications etc. but really want to hear any success stories. Im generally of good health but do have hypothyroidism and acid reflux. Do you think it would be wise to go ahead getting pregnant? Please be honest but kind
Thank you 🙏

OP posts:
anniegun · 14/12/2024 17:11

Not a wise idea at all

Tink3rbell30 · 14/12/2024 17:11

No, definitely not. The child would be young losing you and it's just too old to be doing a decade of school runs etc.

Peonies007 · 14/12/2024 17:15

mum2boys123 · 14/12/2024 14:24

Hello all,

I am 48 and mum to 2 boys , 22 and 14 years old. I know I have left it really late but desperate for another child. I know 48 is not an ideal age and pregnancy can involve lots of complications etc. but really want to hear any success stories. Im generally of good health but do have hypothyroidism and acid reflux. Do you think it would be wise to go ahead getting pregnant? Please be honest but kind
Thank you 🙏

We have 3 and I would love 1 more.
I'm 43 and also with hypo.

What has stopped me for last two years is the risks with hypo

https://www.chop.edu/pages/thyroid-disorders-and-pregnancy#:~:text=Hypothyroidism%20and%20pregnancy&text=Deprivation%20of%20the%20maternal%20thyroid,(mental%20and%20motor)%20development.

Thyroid Disorders and Pregnancy

Thyroid hormones play an essential part in brain development during pregnancy. Here are steps you can take to make sure your thyroid hormones are under control before and during pregnancy.

https://www.chop.edu/pages/thyroid-disorders-and-pregnancy#:~:text=Hypothyroidism%20and%20pregnancy&text=Deprivation%20of%20the%20maternal%20thyroid,(mental%20and%20motor)%20development.

Petergriffinschins · 14/12/2024 17:15

Listen mate, I’m 45 wirh a 22 years old, an 11 year old and a just turned 4 year old. I’m fucking knackered.

Obviously, I love the bones of the 4 year old, but Sod’s Law, she’s the most difficult one and there have been times when it’s 4am an shes wide awake that I’ve thought abk how much less tiring life would have been right now with an adult child and one starting secondary school.

Its really not the same as having your first one later when you’ve already had two decades of parenting and all the shit that comes with it.

Zoflorabore · 14/12/2024 17:15

I could think of nothing worse to be honest and am just wondering why now? Is it you’ve met a new partner etc? Your age gap would be a huge struggle.

im 47 next month and my 2dc are coming up to 14 and 22 so the exact same ages as yours. Even though mine both have ASD they are both relatively independent now and life will get easier all round and I don’t know how why anyone would want to start over at nearly 50.

ultimately, it’s your choice op but i would give it some serious consideration, you will be mistaken for the grandmother for sure, I would hate having to correct people over that constantly. I think you’re missing far too old.

misssunshine4040 · 14/12/2024 17:20

afluffle · 14/12/2024 14:32

I’m sorry but please address your reasons for having another one. It isn’t fair for the child at your age

This, you already have children.

This feels very unfair on your potential baby,

JoyeuxNarwhal · 14/12/2024 17:20

I'm 48 and I couldn't imagine anything worse! Have a 21yo and a teen myself. Absolutely would not consider starting again now, though it's immaterial as I'm already through the menopause.

You may want a baby now, but do you want a teenager when you're in your 60s?

ManchesterLu · 14/12/2024 17:22

I know people have been super negative, but I'm of the opinion that if you can biologically get pregnant, it's not too late. Your body KNOWS when it's too late, and there's no harm trying if it's what you want. If you're still menstruating regularly, you may have a chance, though obviously it can be harder.

With regards to a child having older parents.. everyone has a life expectancy. If a woman 10 years younger wanted a baby, you wouldn't bat an eyelid. Yet the upper end of the life expectancy has a range of far more than 10 years. A 35 year old mum could die at 70, a 50 year old mum could die at 100 - the older mum would have had more time with her kids!

You can't think that deeply into the future. Life is full of difficulties and surprises.

If it's what you want, and you can support a child financially, go for it.

BeTealPlayer · 14/12/2024 17:29

ManchesterLu · 14/12/2024 17:22

I know people have been super negative, but I'm of the opinion that if you can biologically get pregnant, it's not too late. Your body KNOWS when it's too late, and there's no harm trying if it's what you want. If you're still menstruating regularly, you may have a chance, though obviously it can be harder.

With regards to a child having older parents.. everyone has a life expectancy. If a woman 10 years younger wanted a baby, you wouldn't bat an eyelid. Yet the upper end of the life expectancy has a range of far more than 10 years. A 35 year old mum could die at 70, a 50 year old mum could die at 100 - the older mum would have had more time with her kids!

You can't think that deeply into the future. Life is full of difficulties and surprises.

If it's what you want, and you can support a child financially, go for it.

Pitty my body didn't tell me that I was too old at 38, I can't cope.

Thindog · 14/12/2024 17:31

No. Seriously, even if you can. the risk to your health and the welfare of the baby isn't worth it.
Get a dog.

Tubetrain · 14/12/2024 17:32

ManchesterLu · 14/12/2024 17:22

I know people have been super negative, but I'm of the opinion that if you can biologically get pregnant, it's not too late. Your body KNOWS when it's too late, and there's no harm trying if it's what you want. If you're still menstruating regularly, you may have a chance, though obviously it can be harder.

With regards to a child having older parents.. everyone has a life expectancy. If a woman 10 years younger wanted a baby, you wouldn't bat an eyelid. Yet the upper end of the life expectancy has a range of far more than 10 years. A 35 year old mum could die at 70, a 50 year old mum could die at 100 - the older mum would have had more time with her kids!

You can't think that deeply into the future. Life is full of difficulties and surprises.

If it's what you want, and you can support a child financially, go for it.

Very unlikely that she'll carry a healthy baby to term without donor eggs.

No thoughts for the 14 year old who might find their public exams easier without a baby around?

Cerealkiller4U · 14/12/2024 17:34

Baby at 48 with hypothyroidism ?!?

nope. Not a good idea

BabyFever246 · 14/12/2024 17:35

It would be so unfair on the baby. If you did manage it you'd be about 50 before baby arrived. Would you want to be 68 with a 18 yo? Do you think your 18yo would want a mum nearing 70? Or do you think they'd be fucking petrified for how early they could lose you?

minceyminceypies · 14/12/2024 17:37

The main reason for not going ahead is very big chance of a baby with disability which increases greatly for older parents.

Given you have two healthy adult children already, the sensible thing to do is be happy with that.

shortoedtreecreeper · 14/12/2024 17:39

My Grandmother had a baby at 50.It was very embarrassing for her and my grandfather apparently.Their first child was 30.So it does happen sometimes naturaly.
I think they were all quite happy together the child was close to his neices and nephews being of a similar age.

Unforgettablefire · 14/12/2024 17:48

PyongyangKipperbang · 14/12/2024 15:31

@mum2boys123 This is one of the less discussed side effects of the menopause. I know a LOT of women who had this mad sudden desperate broodiness at the start of menopause, me included. Its like your body is shouting "ITS YOUR LAST CHANCE!!!!".

It does pass, mine lasted about 6 months I would say. I am 51 now, started menopause proper at about your age, and now I am very glad that having another wasnt an option (single!) because I cant imagine managing a toddler now!

So it would be likely that the hormones you need to get (and stay) pregnant are falling so it would be unlikely that you would be able to get pg.

This must be a thing I've felt the same way, and I'm 57 going through the menopause! I hadn't even heard of it and couldn't understand it.

Food for thought. Menopause is like a slow motion car crash, imagine dealing with sleepless nights, toddler tantrums and all the other joys of early childhood along with it. Urgh! 😖

CheekyHobson · 14/12/2024 17:54

My ex was 48 when we had our first and as he was a very “young” 48 it didn’t seem like an issue at the time. Now that our kids are tweens and he is in his early 60s, his age is very clear. He just doesn’t have the energy or physical prowess to keep up with them and do activities they enjoy (like skating or zip-lining).

His friends’ kids have all grown up and gone to university and I think he feels resentful that he doesn’t have their freedom (even though he’s only an every-other-weekend dad) and he definitely resents the costs now that he is close to retirement and desperately trying to both save and pay off a mortgage.

After years of not really noticing or caring that their dad is much older, the kids now notice and have started
to comment in a way that shows they feel awkward about it.

Think very carefully about whether this is the right thing to do in the long term.

GroovyChick87 · 14/12/2024 17:55

I get the thought in my head now and again to get my sterilisation reversed. I had it done when I was 29 but I know I don't actually want another baby and I wouldn't go ahead with it. I think if you're maternal, your kids are growing up and you have fond memories of them as babies you just get those urges now and again. It's probably just nature's way of trying to populate the planet.

NoMoreFalafelForYou · 14/12/2024 17:59

I feel for you OP. I think it’s something quite a lot of women face around the is age. Last chance saloon and all that. It happens as we get close to menopause and start to feel our age and our mortality. A last shot at fertility feels like holding on to your youth.

in reality, I can only imagine that being a mum in your early/mid 50s in the school playground picking up your Reception child would be quite alienating. You’d be maybe 20 years older than some of the other mums. At least 10-15 older than the majority. This would make me feel old and lonely.

My biggest fear would be my child losing me too young. I had my third child just before my 40th and I couldn’t help doing the maths. I would also worry about the increased risk of disabilities.

I love babies and would gladly have one right now to feed, cuddle, dress and play with. But do I want to wake up three times tonight? No, I’m done with that!

Peonies007 · 14/12/2024 17:59

CheekyHobson · 14/12/2024 17:54

My ex was 48 when we had our first and as he was a very “young” 48 it didn’t seem like an issue at the time. Now that our kids are tweens and he is in his early 60s, his age is very clear. He just doesn’t have the energy or physical prowess to keep up with them and do activities they enjoy (like skating or zip-lining).

His friends’ kids have all grown up and gone to university and I think he feels resentful that he doesn’t have their freedom (even though he’s only an every-other-weekend dad) and he definitely resents the costs now that he is close to retirement and desperately trying to both save and pay off a mortgage.

After years of not really noticing or caring that their dad is much older, the kids now notice and have started
to comment in a way that shows they feel awkward about it.

Think very carefully about whether this is the right thing to do in the long term.

So true actually. My DH who was 42 when we had our furst in now 52. He was physically very fit (playing squash 3x a week, walks everywhere etc).
2 years ago (age 50) his hip went and had to have replacement. It's healed but isn't quite right so can't play sport anymore, struggles with walking and can't even play football for more than 10 min with kids as it hurts terribly.
Because of that he now also has an ankle issue (I guess isn't walking properly).
Bodies do break as we get older.
Aren't you tired from hypo, OP?

Nothatgingerpirate · 14/12/2024 18:06

Aberentian · 14/12/2024 16:25

I think your last sentence is bollocks and honestly you don't really know what you're talking about.

Show quote history

If not, then I'm very glad for it.
Children come, marriage goes.

OnlyheretovoteonAIBU · 14/12/2024 19:25

Just because you can do something doesn’t mean that you should.

Original poster
mum2boys123 · 14/12/2024 19:51

Thanks to everyone for the different perspectives. It’s interesting how some of the comments were so harsh but kindness is an expensive commodity these days so I expected it when I posted my query. Anyhow to put everyone’s minds at ease I’m not going for another child. It was a thought and I just threw it out there to get perspectives which I believe is not a crime…just yet!!!
I love children and work as a Nursery teacher because I feel I have a nurturing nature. The joy these children bring to my life is immeasurable and I really miss the days when my children were little. I guess that’s the reason I wanted to try one last time before I hit menopause. Anyways as I mentioned before I’m aware of the risks and it’s not something I would ever take lightly.
To the ones who were honest but kind, I’m extremely thankful 🙏
Happy Christmas to everyone 🤗

OP posts:
GivingitToGod · 14/12/2024 20:03

Am I being harsh in saying your 52 year olds friend's mum was wrong and irresponsible to have an affair with an impressionable 18 year old? Abusing her position and his vulnerability! I hope the child with the relaxed upbringing is OK.
Selfish in the extreme!

needmorecoffee7 · 14/12/2024 20:06

To all those posting that there grandmother had a baby at 50. Has it really not occurred to you that they were almost certainly covering up an out of wedlock pregnancy for their own child. This is a far more likely scenario and used to happen all the time