MC Avengers - Chocolate cake anyone?

[mistlethrush]

I've started a new thread as the old one was full - hope everyone finds their way here OK.

Sorry quarkee...huge glass of wine for you tonight...

quarkee

MASSIVE glass of wine most definately

So sorry Quarkee

So I was just visiting another board that I posted on and many of the women that got their BFP around the same time as me are 20 weeks. Half way there. I think I would've been 17 weeks this week. I don't know what to think. Part of me is actually sort of - I really hate to even say this - but relieved??? I don't think I mean relieved, it's just so hard for me to imagine being that close to having a baby iyswim? Even though I practically counted down every second of the 11 weeks I was pregnant, looking back, the time has gone so fast. I think if I were still pregnant I'd be freaking out slightly. Has anyone else felt this way?

Sort of, I am quite glad I wont be coping with a Christmas baby but still v upset I'm not pg - conflicting thoughts - am glad I am going to be able to have big glass of wine but again would swap it in a second if it meant a BFP. I am also dreading the sleepless nights, they werent fun last time but again now they're not a possibility this month I miss the prospect - confusing. Don't think you r the only one, i think lots of people freak.

Prepg & Quarkee - I know exactly what you mean. When I was busy symptom spotting last week, at the same time I was thinking 'how on earth are we going to cope', 'how will we fit in', 'what will Ds do', 'can we pay school fees for 2' etc etc. Interestingly, it was more about the future than actually being pregnant. I think, probably, that the horrific experience 1st time round (mp) I wasn't worried about the tiredness, nausea etc when I was pregnant - I just wanted to stay pregnant and didn't care about the rest. And, I actually missed being pregnant when ds came along

PrePG quarkee mistle I agree with the conflicted emotions. I look at my close friend (who is due the same week we would have been) and listen to her talk about maternity leave, juggling family visits with a newborn and finances...and feel a strange relief that it isn't me dealing with those stressful things (even though, at the same time, I would give ANYTHING to still be pregnant). I hope that when I am living in the moment it seems less stressful than watching from the outside - if that even makes sense?

I am really confused...I still have some light spotting, very sore boobs, metallic taste/thirst, complete fatigue all day...it is too early to test (28 days after mc, 7 dpo according to ff) and I am not sure if I want to know. I wonder if it is my hormones settling down again before AF starts...I am not sure if I am ready for the stress of being PG again but at the same time will be really disappointed if my AF does start properly. I guess time will tell...patience was NEVER my strength...

AF arrived this morning.

I feel relieved that my body is back to normal only 5 and a half weeks after m/c began, and it certainly explains the misery of the past three days. And even though we've decided to wait 3 cycles, the sooner I have my first the sooner I'll have my 3rd (iyswim).

Everything everyone's said in the last few posts makes perfect sense even when it seems contradictory. We've had a family holiday planned in Italy for ages now and I was so looking forward to having a cute little 23-week bump, but now I'm almost relieved I'll be able to eat and drink whatever I want and not feel worried about anything going wrong while I'm away... although I think I'd still rather have the bump.

NotSoNew hang in there, hon. I think confusion is just the name of the game at the moment.

Good for you daisy It's amazing how our bodies bounce back - I wish the same could be said for brains, hearts and emotions

NSNA fingers crossed for you! Hoping it's the outcome that you want!

I'll likely be ovulating in the next week or so and I'm starting to get nervous...the tension of the 2ww is not something I'm looking forward to again. I wish this whole process was easier. It feels like a game of snakes and ladders or something - you feel like you get so far, only to have to go all the way back to the beginning again

Exactly. I wish there was some failsafe technique we could use to make it all easier. The one I'm trying is making an effort to be aware that, in case of the worst case scenario of this all taking years to work out, I'd hate to look back and think I was unhappy for years, not myself, not enjoying things I normally would, like being with DH, friends, family, my gorgeous little niece, etc. So I'm really going to try to take it one day at a time, instead of leaping ahead in my mind like I normally do, and to look forward to good things, like holidays and special occasions and things, but not anticipate any potentially heartbreaking events - if that makes any sense at all.

Don't know if that helps, or just sounds a bit twee, but it's a thought. In mitigation, I've just had a glass of champagne at work, so am not completely sober . xx

daisy can i come to your office

I have just spent the day being grilled for a promotion - and if I get thru this round there's' 2 more

Good for you [daisy] you dont sound twee to me - you never know what's coming round the corner to wallop you, life for the moment is a pretty good motto in my book

NSNAM you never know.......

PrePG ikwym re hearts etc AF this month has been a but upsetting, reminder of the mc I think but again, it's a new start isnt it? Best to try to have a good mindset

Anyway Im off for a LARGE glass of wine - Ive done an 14 hr day today so i deserve it! Take care

daisy You're right. And I think if I look at the rest of my life, it's all pretty good, so best to enjoy it before it gets turned upside down!

Just been to the dentist and need to either have root canal or tooth extraction. ugh! But think i might go ahead with the root canal as it'll be sod's law that I get pregnant this month And decided that I'm going to go out and buy myself some new clothes for spring too.

good luck with the promotion Quarkee!!

daisy I really like your philosophy and it is definitely worth a shot! It sometimes gets difficult to see past TTC'ing & the mc...and remember that our life is good in other respects (Pass me some of that champagne!!)

Good luck getting through to the next round for your promotion quarkee

ouch PrePG Sounds like a painful dentist appointment ahead of you - hope the new spring clothes help dull the pain

I am still spotting on & off, the pg symptoms come & go. Am more and more sure that it is hormones playing up rather than another pregnancy. I also also have this horrible feeling that I hope I am not pregnant again because I am spotting so much therefore there will be problems. Does that even make sense? Probably not...my mind is in a strange place this week.

At least it is Friday!!

NSNA I'm passing you ALL my champagne (bit hungover today). So sorry it all feels confusing right now . I do know just what you mean and felt the same way last week. I hope you have the outcome you want, but I must say I felt so much better and less muddled when af did actually arrive this week - maybe the same will happen for you if you're not pg - then at least you'll feel a bit more 'normal'. Remember, anyway, that we're always here if you want a good cybercry.

quarkee - good luck with the promotion. Sounds like a tough process, but hope it goes well. Keep us informed, won't you?

PrePG - owie, as my goddaughter would say. But as you say, you may as well get it over with. And good idea on the clothes front. I went on three sprees this month , but it definitely helps to have nice things to wear. Anyway, even if you get pg in the next couple of months, you'll still get lots of wear out of them before you get big .

Have a lovely weekend, girls. xx

Oh, and one more thought - has anyone heard of Foresight? My acupuncturist told me about someone who had come to her after a still birth at 7 months, and she had started using their vitamins, which are made up individually on the basis of hair analysis, and apparently said she felt amazing.

I've been on their website and there is some interesting stuff on there - particularly in relation to the occurence (and recurrence, or lack thereof) of miscarriage in people following their programmes. Worth a look.

x

Just found out two of the women at work are pregnant, due around the same time I would have been. Now just about to go to the boardroom to have drinks to wish our HR manager well on her maternity leave.

(and also looks from the last three posts as though she has developed a penchant for talking to herself - another of those 'signs of madness', maybe)

xx

Daisy its rubbish I know, good luck and if you don't feel like staying at the drinks thing then don't. Your emotional wellbeing is more important, just make your excuses and leave.

so sorry Daisy - hope you manage to get through the farewell drinks OK, have an extra large glass of whatever drinks are on offer

((daisy)). Secretary at work due 2 weeks before I would have been - know where you're coming from. Also ended up out last night with 2 pregnant ladies - 7 mo and 5 mo - then getting asked whether I was planning to have more...

Oh Daisy But LOL at you talking to yourself, you're adorable!

Don't need to remind you guys that BOTH my SIL's are pregnant and due within a few weeks of what would've been our due date ~sigh~

Foresight sounds really interesting...

Here's a funny one: The other night as we were getting ready for bed I said to DH "I'm going to be late tomorrow" meaning I had something I had to do after work.

So he gets this silly grin on his face and excitedly asks "Do we have to have sex???" I was just like HUH???? It took us quite a while to realize that we were talking about two different things. Turns out he thought I said "I'm going to ovulate tomorrow" Ah, well, at least he's ready and willing!

Oh prepg, thank you so much - I really did just laugh out loud. A much needed end to a crappy hungover day.

And thanks NSNA and Claire for your kind thoughts.

mistle, ouch. I was just talking about moving house with a colleague I like v. much but don't really know well enough to have told about m/c, and she said 'Well now you have an extra bedroom you won't be able to make any excuses for not having a baby' as apparently her MIL is always asking when they will be moving so that they have 'more room'. I froze for a split second, but then said 'so true' in a kind of 27 Dresses way (of course you'll only get that if you've seen the film)

PrePG LOL v funny

Am going to have a self absorbed vent now so pls skip if you want to...

I just found out I didnt make it through to the next round and by a long way too so am pretty much gutted - I am obviously not the right person for the job which is odd really cos all my bosses and my clients think I am but tbh I am so over jumping thru the corporate hoops I have put a bottle of fizz in the fridge and plan to celebrate the end of having to act a certain way - whenever I am myself I rock the clients and win the work - whenever I act like I am 'meant to' I dont - so stuff it. I'm lucky I have a really good job that I created myself so i really enjoy it and not getting this promotion takes the pressrue off me while we are ttc and raising our family - just gutted that i am officially no longer going to be thought of as a high flyer - it was nice while it lasted Quite frankly 2008 has been a stinker so far. I cant help wondering whether the stress from the previous round contributed to the mc too which makes me feel and at the same time- oh dear.

Daisy I hope you got through your 'trial by champagne' I am finding it hard to slap that smile on tbh so well done for managing it.

Sorry if I came over a bit hoity in that post, I am a pretty competitve person and I just feel like so far this year Ive failed at everything - my health (PD), my family (mc) and now my job - I know I'll get the right perspective soon but its only just happened so forgive my rantings for now...

Really sorry you didn't get through quarkee could you not be considered again at a later date?

Quarkee sorry that it didn't happen for you this time. Can I share??? Please ignore if you prefer... As you know, I had a pretty bad time 1stmc - ended up off work for 6mo - managed to get in once a fourenight to deal with emails - I could manage about 1hr of concentration toward the end of each batch of 'off' time between courses of treatment... I got called into work just before Easter (last treatment 31st March - my edd as I found out) for a meeting with the boss - 'when do you intend to come back - hoping the day after BH mon - that's good, as if you have any more time off I'll have to get someone else in to do your job and not sure what you will do if you come back then' !!!!!!

I started looking for an alternative job a year later - when I handed my notice in, my boss said 'I suppose you have made your mind up' - I agreed - that was the last thing she said to me (for the entire month I was there, including the day I left!!!). I got pregnant with ds between the time I resigned and when I started at the next company - which wasn't particularly good timing in terms of the new job, but I think that it indicated that I was less tense etc which helped. I hope that your news has the same effect upon you - enjoy the job that you are good at and your clients appreciate you in and try to have some 'you time' and less stress etc...