MC Avengers - Chocolate cake anyone?

[mistlethrush]

I've started a new thread as the old one was full - hope everyone finds their way here OK.

Hi everyone, I posted briefly on the last thread but have had horrid week and not been on MN and now it's disappeared!!!

Finally had proper mc at 10 weeks last tues - was having contractions so had a bath, decided instinctively to push and the whole sac came out plus a load of blood and lining.. sorry if TMI.. was happy I had gone for natural mc because in a way it was like giving birth and it was quite peaceful. Went to hospital for scan and it is definitely complete so once this bleeding stops (which it pretty much has) will be ttc again.

Thought I was doing ok but now the bleeding is stopping I think my hormone levels are plunging and I'm starting to really feel the loss. I want to be pg again but I want the baby I lost, I know that's silly because I can't have it, it's gone.

divedaisy, my plan is to test, but not tell anyone - even dh, cos I would hate him to have to go through this again and he has a lot on his plate at the moment with work and stuff. However I can see this plan going slightly awry as I am rubbish at keeping secrets, especially my own.

Divedaisy I think I've got some room for rhubarb and cyber-custard! Bet you'll test before that!

Eli - yes, fine with milk - ds has cold milkshake just mlik with a 1/2 tsp carob powder (or more or less) shaken up.. Hot drink - warm milk, add carob, nice to add a little honey perhaps, although not particularly necessary.

Diet gone to plan so far - added tomatoes, but they're fruit aren't they!

Lou - do you want to join me - I've only got a day's start on you!

Alicia - im so sorry. it is completely normal to want your baby back. I said it so many times to DH. Especially having got to ten weeks. I was 11 weeks so can really relate, although I had to be hospitalised as my cervix would not open. Just keep talking to each other about it, and on here when dh cant be there. remember you are never alone! And when people say anything that upsets you about MC just think to yourself, "they just dont know what the right thing is to say" I had a friend tell me it was for the best as the baby wasnt strong enough to survive anyway.
It may be true but it certainly wasnt what i needed to hear a week after the MC!!

Mistle i will join you yes please - DH is going away for 3 days for work, the timing sucks! Need some friendly support.

Hope everyone else is doing as well as poss. just got to keep getting up every morning...

hi ebb sorry i forgot it was you - by the time i found this new thread, my memory had fled! actually, now that you mention it, i noted that i stopped at cd13, had a spot free day, then had some big spots on cd 15 finally ended that day i think.. dont trust my memory anymore... hope yours stops soon. it's so annoying! but at least it seems to be common amongst some of us

daisy it was me who was fantasizing about working for myself. actually what i should have said is i dream about winning the lottery very soon one day, so that i can loll around and do whatever i want, whenever i want (dont we all!) good on you though - a true eg of a multitasking woman!

sorry to hear what you are going through alicia hope you feel better soon x it does get better with time, but at the time it doesnt feel like it ever will. just know that your feelings are valid.

cece don't test don't test don't test (if you chant that over and over again, you may be able to delay testing by one day at least)

ps mollie are you there - hope you are all right x

Lou - so what is your plan then? I have to be rather drastic - which is why the fruit only for a week - will add some veg and the odd bit of rice and low fat yog next week. I have done WW before, but the problem is that I can put weight on if I eat the 'right' number of points which is rather Will try to avoid wheat for quite some time.

hey all found the new thread

kate so sorry to hear what's happened I remember you from before.

alicia sorry you had to join us

i'm actively ttc now as my first due date was the 5th may and its coming up thick and fast. i'm feeling a strong need to be pregnant as i'm sure many of you will understand. That and my best friends due mid june it's going to be so horrid if i'm not pregnant by then

hey all found the new thread

kate so sorry to hear what's happened I remember you from before.

alicia sorry you had to join us

i'm actively ttc now as my first due date was the 5th may and its coming up thick and fast. i'm feeling a strong need to be pregnant as i'm sure many of you will understand. That and my best friends due mid june it's going to be so horrid if i'm not pregnant by then

I don't knwo about you all - either I've too much on my mind, or I'm suffering from an inability to remember what's going on - but I am finding it very hard to keep up with all your stories - what's happened to whom, who's actively ttc etc etc. I'm constantly scrolling up and down trying to remember what's going on!!!

alicia - sorry to hear what's happened. Though it seems to have gone in a way that comforted you (if that's the right way to put it??) - it was peaceful. It's really understandable you feel the loss. You need to grieve, so give yourself the 'permission' to do so. I chose not to MC naturally as I didn't think I could've coped with either the physical or the emotional pain. I had a ERPC which went well, and apart from some discomfort post-op and tired for a few days, I haven't had any bleeding, nor have I had any bad emotional episodes and for that I am grateful. Maybe I'm one of those people who says the wrong thing - I'm sorry if I've upset you.xx

Anyhow, I'm always promising myself an early night so I'm going NOW!! Nitey nite.xx And for those of you who are getting jiggy - good luck!!!

Divedaisy, that's the only way I read mn, especially with the time difference, I have a day or 2 to catch up on each time I get back here
Haven't seen you around for a while Aquababe, how are you?
Thanks for the carob tip Mistle, didn't know it was good for iron so will give it a go, for the dd's as well as neither of them manages to have much iron in their diets.
Hi again Alicia, we've 'bumped' into each other on the other thread as well. I would have been 11wks yesterday and had the main part of my m/c yesterday, so understand how you feel Crap isn't it, and there's nothing you can do but give yourself time.
We have always managed to do a test and keep it secret until at least 10wks. Usually tell 1 or 2 friends, as it's nice to have someone to share things with, but otherwise, everyone, including family, waits until we've had a scan. Certainly couldn't keep it from dh though, he would realise very quickly something was up
Have you managed to step away from the tests Cece?

divedaisy - I htink that is my plan, not test too early as then I have less time to worry!

Alicia Johns,
after my first mc when I got pg with Hope I didn't tell DH till I was 10 weeks He was stressed with his job and so on and I wanted to be past the 9 week mark when I mc the first time. But it was very stressful keeping it to myself. I had a bleed at 9 weeks and went to EPU alone. A few days later I told him. He knew there was something going on but thought I was having an affair! LOL

Kate - when are you going into hospital? I hope all goes as well as it can for you. After the first tablet, my waters broke about 4 hours later and I started contracting straight away so I never got the pessaries that bring on the labour. But Hope had already died a day or two before so it is a different situation. I spent several hours with Hope before we left the hospital and I have found that a great comfort. I also have photos that I look at occasionaly. I will be thinking of you, DH and Thomas.

bunny scully and anyone else who kept me away I have not tested yet! Think I OV later this month so 14 days later would be this Thursday... Although due af today or tomorrow iyswim. Trying to hold out as long as possible. I have started to worry already. Worked out if pg this month the baby would be due 1 week after Hope's birthday and I will be 18 weeks when on holiday in Spain so not good plannning

Cece I know where you're coming at re birthdays/edd - I was so glad when ds didn't come 2 wks early and left it to just 1week early - also, by doing this he managed to avoid April Fools day which was good

Feeling queasy again this morning, but stalwartly putting it down to change in diet!

divedaisy you've not upset me at all! I think if I had gone for ERPC I would probably have found something to comfort me there as well. You have to try to make the best of a bad situation however you choose to approach it!

Cece am impressed with your willpower! How long are you going to leave it before you test?

I have stopped bleeding now pretty much. Do any of you chart basal temperatures - any idea how soon you can start charting reliably after a mc?

Alicia There's a Tempers thread around here somewhere! Come visit us. I started temping as soon as my bleeding stopped. For me it felt like I was 'doing something' positive, and it really helped me make sense of my chart. It turns out I did O, but I would've never guessed it judging from CM or anything else. Also helped me to know when AF was coming adn made me relax a bit as I knew my body was bouncing back after the mc. Temps were slightly all over the place, but I was still able to pinpoint O using Fertily Friend. Hope that helps!

Welcome alicia very sorry tohear about your mc. I was interested to read about your mc in the bath...when I miscarried (Also 10 weeks, but the baby was only 6 weeks) I was in the shower. I had previously read a post from someone who miscarried in the shower and thought it was very odd...now it makes sense. The warmth helps with the pain and the water helped with the mess (sorry if TMI)

I hope the hormones settle down - I also went 'loopy' about 9 days after the miscarriage, mood swings that made my DH very nervous it did settle down after a few days.

cece so when are you aiming at doing a test? It is amazing that you managed to keep it your pregnancy a secret from your DH for so long...mine would guess within minutes of me buying the test (Probably from me waving the test around)!! Although I can't imagine dealing with the stress of the EPU alone...

mistle
Dont know at the mo, could use some ideas if you have any. I have PCOS, although am better than i was, and borderline underactive thyroid, so I feel a bit like a fat magnet. It sticks to me and hates coming off!!!
Am doing WW although have fallen by the wayside in the last few weeks.
I think chocolate is part of my issue although i did successfully give it up for lent!
Think i will not worry till AF finishes then work very hard on eating properly.
i did lose 3 stone before i got married so somehow i have to get that mentality back. I was a small size 14(UK) then which was amazing...
Anybody got any ideas feel free -

Lou - I've also done ww, but have to get down to 14 points to lose weight at the increadible rate of 1/2 lb a week if I'm lucky... which is why I'm giving my diet a really good start at the beginning - aiming to lose a stone in a month... just got the rest to go then! I'll never be 'slim' - or low on the OK BM range, but being closer to it would be really good, I'm really down on my appearance at the moment. And I've not bought any new decent clothes for ages on the basis that I want to lose some weight first, so I've got nothing nice to wear to make me feel better either!

I don't have the chocolate problem as I'm allergic to it (violently) - I just probably eat a little too much most days and then have a real struggle getting anything off again.

So, do you want to join me and see how much we can lose?

ok mistle i need some kind of help! I *know that losing weight can only help in the baby quest... Let's do it! xx

Lou - so what's your plan then? Doing OK on kick start week and, as usual, amount of fruit I'm eating decreasing daily without much effort. But I realise that we've got a company 'do' on Thursday so will have to be imaginative with the menu. Probably end up with salad (which will be a real treat!) and get them to not dress it and bring some balsamic vinegar out (yum yum yum) . I suppose that I'm lucky in that at least I love eating fruit and veg!

Morning everyone how are you all? Hello to everyone just joined - sorry you had to seek the thread out.

Lots going on on the thread in honour of WW my offering today is a big bowl of no points soup - slurp it up! It works definatley, i lost over 3st with ww a few years ago (have put on abotu a stone thouh ) Can I join you? I think I need help re chocolate, i read thethread this mornig eating a chocolate biscuit bar - not a good start to the day eh?

I am expecting my first af since mc probably Friday or over the weekend (great timing, maybe thats why I wanted the choc?) so just want to get it over with so we can ttc 'properly' - i am impatient at the best of times so this is pure torture

Quarkee snap, lost 3.5st with ww quite some time ago - but then mc, mp, pregancy - got quite a bit of weight off about 18mo after that, mc, lost weight last summer, mc... So got to start again from scratch! I'm quite happy doing it - I object to the cost though, so trying to do it myself this time.

Still have my 'slim' (well, slimmer!) clothes and want to get back into them and feeling a bit better about my body. Doubt it will ever be the same again after ds though!

I've had an orange and a small apple this morning. So doing OK. Managed to eat all of them this morning rather than ds deciding that fruit is better than his breakfast and eating mine instead (then taking his breakfast to eat at nursery, with toast to follw...)

Any one for cyber buterscotch icecream - could do with a tub quite happily, but probably enough to share?

well I didn't hold out very well and tested.

BFN

But after about 8 mins I am sure I saw an evaporation line - so faint though that DH couldn't see it! LOL TTC is sending me mad.

1st sign talking to yourself
2nd sign looking for hairs on the back of your hand
3rd sign looking for non existant lines on HPT!

cece, what CD are you on?

hello everyone, loving the weightloss discussions(I should be paying attention) but too busy enjoying my calorie-laden hot chocolate to join in just yet...anyone fancy some? Extra cream on top? Chocolate Sprinkles?

I have to admit that I just need to vent - I am so angry and disappointed (And probably being completely overly-sensitive...I admit)

When we fell pregnant - we told both sets of parents and my brother (Our families all live abroad). When I miscarried (3 weeks ago, at 10 weeks) we told our parents and I know that my brother knows, as he was at my mothers house when I called to tell her. Since the miscarriage I have heard nothing at all from my brother - no 'sorry to hear your news' or 'get well soon'...absolutely nothing. We received endless texts and emails from my DH's family (My MIL can't keep a secret and had blabbed to everyone and their neighbour) - you know the type of messages you get, well meaning but misguided and at times insensitive well-wishes...but nothing from my Brother.

Last weekend I mentioned (in passing, it wasn't a big 'moan') to my Mum that I hadn't heard from my brother in a while. Yesterday he sent me quite a long email, going on about what a 'rough time' he is having lately as his car roof is damaged and he has decided to move jobs, also that he is very busy planning his wedding. There was absolutely NO mention of the baby we lost or the fact that it had been a tough time for us.

I don't want a ten page email commiserating the miscarriage, or a years supply of flowers...but just a general acknowledgement of what we went through and what we lost would be nice. Just a simple: 'I am sorry' before moving onto moaning about the paintwork on his car...

I can't trust myself to reply to him...I am tempted to write something completely inappropriate like: 'Sorry to hear that you've been so busy. We are doing OK after we lost our baby and I was discharged from hospital. Thanks for asking...'

One of the annoying things about living on the other side of the world is that ignoring him is rather ineffective

Anyway...sorry...I do feel better now that I have that off my chest. Are you sure that I can't tempt anyone with a Hot Chocolate?