MC Avengers - Chocolate cake anyone?

[mistlethrush]

I've started a new thread as the old one was full - hope everyone finds their way here OK.

Hello everyone,
So sorry to see newbies here - it's so hard isn't it

Can I ask a question - sorry if a bit TMI in advance.

To remind briefly I had a mmc at 22 weeks 7 weeks ago. I delivered and also had a ERPC. 4.5 weeks later I had a period which was short (2-3 days) v.v. heavy and quite bright red. I was quite happy as I thought it was pretty good to get a period around 4 weeks after. However, today, day 17 of next cycle I have another period. The same, heavy, red and not at all clotty.

I presume that this is just letting me know that my body has not settled down yet. Does anyone else have advice? I'm not due to see my consultant until 21 October - so 3 months afterwards and gp advised not to try again until after seeing him as it was a late m/c.

I've always been super regular and am I being silly to worry about this? Thank you all xx

hello pwcbird so sorry about your loss, i had a erpc done on monday and the consultant warned me i might have short/heavy periods in quite quick concessions, you body will be confused and you might bleed in time with your old cycle, pre pregnancy while your body is still trying to determine your new routine post pregnancy, if that makes sense? either way it can take up to 3 months for your body to sort itself out again...im sorry i dont know more for you just what i was told on monday, hope it settles soon for you xx

pwcbird no real advice but like Barbie says your body is probably just trying to work out what's going on and to recover. I would probably ring the GP if you need to put your mind at rest.

Barbie sorry about your miscarriage and the ERPC. Hope you're feeling a bit better soon.

pwcbird how are you today?

Hi all. . .still bleeding about the same amount as a heavy/medium period and wondering when it will stop. Usually AF for me only is heavy for 1 day, but following the MC on Monday evening it just seems like this will go on forever (mind you it's only been 72 hours I suppose). It's not so much the bleeding bugging me as the cramping. I'm taking painkillers all the time because otherwise I just want to lie in bed and hug my hot water bottle, and I'd really like to get on with my life now please. We were going to go to a movie last night, but as I stood in line I started having bad cramps and we had to go home.

I'm being moany I think. Along with that we were told our mortgage for the house we were about to buy has been yanked away because they saw we were trying to borrow money elsewhere--never mind that we don't actually need it now and didn't borrow anything! So two dreams in the toilet in one week at the moment and just feeling a bit sorry for myself. We can appeal the decision, but it doesn't look good. At least wedding plans are going ahead for January.

hi sarah 76 sorry yoour having bad time, i dont know whether my experience will help- i bled for 2weeks, sorry! i know you prob dont want to hear that now, but when i went back for my scan everything had come away so at least i didnt need any help or medical intervention. keep focussing on your wedding plans, and make sure you keep talking about everything and keep on mums net cos thats wot got me thro xx

hi sarah 76 sorry yoour having bad time, i dont know whether my experience will help- i bled for 2weeks, sorry! i know you prob dont want to hear that now, but when i went back for my scan everything had come away so at least i didnt need any help or medical intervention. keep focussing on your wedding plans, and make sure you keep talking about everything and keep on mums net cos thats wot got me thro xx

hi pwcbird sounds like your body it just getting itself sorted out, i have heard lots of advice including try when you get home-when we left the hops! wait until after your first period and wait 3months, but i know everyone is individual!! cos im desperate to try now but dont know if its rite?!!xx

Maz if you feel like trying now then why not?! I didn't but only because I had a feeling that my body wasn't 'ready', and because if Id fallen pg straight off I'd have coped even less well with the MC; felt too wobbly as it was really.

Sarah I'm sorry about the mortgage decsision, thats sh*tty news on top of everything else you have on your plate. Hope you can take some time off work and rest properly, sounds like you need it. I tried to go back to work too soon and just felt worse, but stupidly felt guilty for abandoning my watch. One of the only things that DID ghelp was watching loads of comedy dvds and that helped take my mind off things - get through the day.

argh anyone around? Having a shit time - got emailed yesterday by the woman house dd shared ds1's due date to tell me she's 20 weeks pg with a little boy - bully for you (I didn't say) & an email for the woman who is pg & due within days of Toby's due date 'to see how I am' but actually just rambled on about herslf the whole time.

My period is three days late, I'm cramping like crazy (enough to want paracetamol), I'm tearful, had a tiny bit of spotting on Saturday but nothing since. It is extremely unlikely that I am pregnant, I probably didn't even ovulate last cycle. I don't want to test because I'm feeling so fragile, but I need to contact consultant to start meds asap if I am - I just want my period to start so I can move on. Haven't even got any tests so I'd have to go and buy one and I'm 99.99999999% sure I start bleeding within seconds on peeing on the bloody thing.

Feel like screaming.

Hi Sadminster I am sorry u r having such a hard time at the minute. Your friends email was probably just her attempt to let you know she was thinking about you. One of my friends was trying to understand how I have been feeling recently (i.e. desperate to get pregnant again), she decided it must be like how she feels when she is desperate to go on holiday (she goes frequently throughout the year!). I wasnt upset though, before I had a mc I could never have imagined the rollercoaster of emotions that you go through on a daily basis.

I think u should test, as u say just incase u get a BFP and need to start taking medicine. I know a BFN is crushing but at least it is an answer that with come with time anyway.

Take care xx

Sadminster, know exactly how you feel. My future SIL is constantly providing facebook updates on her pregnancy. I wish I could block her, but of course I'd hear about it.

Also, I had bought a nappy changing unit on ebay, just needed to pick it up on next visit to London. Since we don't need it anymore, we asked if SIL wanted it. I only paid £10 for it so wasn't bothered about money, but just didn't want negative feedback on ebay for not picking it up. They went and got it, and afterward I tried to cheerily say on FB to SIL 'glad you got it picked up, hope you like it'....her response was 'yeah, it's okay, a few scuffs but can't complain about the price'. No of course you can't, dumbass. She's one of these people that scoops up free stuff on freecycle, yet never puts anything up herself. I wouldn't be surprised if they are selling their freecycle finds at car boot sales.

It's probably my overactive hormones but I was really fecking annoyed at her responseI mean does she even remember WHY she's getting it? I hate her. She's a stupid 21 year old who's never done a hard day's work in her life, just going to sit around for the rest of her life and expects the government/my partner's brother to take care of her stupid, uneducated self. Plus she's done NOTHING to take care of herself/baby during this pregnancy-despite being told she's at risk for gestational diabetes, I've never seen her without sugary sweets, chocolate, or McLard stuffed in her gob. Have I mentioned I hate her? She also tries to compete with me all the time in really stupid ways, tries to make me look bad in front of future in-laws, goes on and on about the significance of having 'their first grandchild'. I could really scream. She's probably glad I miscarried. Wouldn't want any competition. I wish I could tell her how much my partner's parents dislike her. When I got PG, my future in-laws both told me separately that they were so much more excited about me being pregnant than SIL. They think their son could have done so much better and she is just dragging him down into her dole-scum lifestyle. But I won't say anything. I will just rant like a loon here, and put a frozen smile on my face and get on with it. arrgggghhhhhh.

Rant Over

Sorry everyone.....that anger comes over me every few days and I don't know what to do with it. I think ranting lessens the likelihood that I will explode in a big firey ball of anger/grief.

Sarah rant away! She sounds dreadful

Oops meant to say - got a couple of appointments through today. One at the recurrent loss clinic at JR (didn't ask to be referred there but I'll go anyway), and one at the Silver Star with teh maternal medicine dr.

Sarah - been down route with Sil envy - although yours sounds a lot more of a problem! Dh and I chose the 'traditional' route of engagement, wedding, 1 year to 'ourselves' then start trying for a family. 6 mo after we start trying, BiL (not engaged) announces that they are expecting - wedding announced a couple of months later, and wedding at SiL 5mo pregnant. BiL is younger brother too. They managed to have 2 dds before ds came along. Mind you, ds has all the looks even if I say it myself

Sadminster - hope you don't have to wait too long for your appointments...

Hello, sorry I haven't been around for a while, went away for our wedding anniversary, just a short break but it was lovely, feel very relaxed and chilled out
Sarah So sorry to hear about all the other crap you are having to deal with as well as your loss, how are you feeling now hun? YOur SIL sounds lovely, very deserving of an easy pregnancy (not)
Maz Have you made any decision about TTC yet? We decided after the first one to try straight away, like you said it's personal choice, if you feel like it then it's probably right for you - go for it girl
Sadminster What an insensitive friend you have some people are so thoughtless aren't they? Did you test after or as AF arrived? At least you have some referrals through, have you long to wait?
Munchies & Mistle How are you both doing?
Hi to everyone else, not much to report, although did have a wobbly moment on holiday, we were sat in a pub next to a couple with a cute 3yr old girl and a newbie little boy, the girl didn't upset me at all, but the little boy must only have been a few months, and was so darn cute, I just started welling up (blush) very embarassing in the middle of a pub, I just kept thinking that I should have a 4 wk old baby or be 16 weeks pg and how unfair life is But still onwards and upwards, just waiting for first AF to arrive.

Evening all, not posting much but still reading - I'm really sympathising with those that have to regularly put up with insensitive friends / relatives etc.

I had to go to overseas on a business trip this week and endure a co-worker going on and on about when it would be time for me to have my next baby, culminating in bets being placed on which month it would be. I think it was easier to distance myself from it all because they are only work colleagues that I've only met once before and because of the language not flowing so smoothly. All in all I was very proud of myself.

I'm still waiting for AF to appear, although I think she might be on her way, but who knows - only time will tell I guess.

I've really used this time to back off from the whole ttc thing and just focus on DS and DH, its definitely brought us all closer together - and we were quite tight to start off with.

And most excitingly, we've booked a holiday! I'm going away in October for a week in a sunny villa for the first time since DS was born and can't wait

Also, I made a donation to the Miscarriage Association, not huge, but big enough and got a letter back from a different company thanking me for my donation. At first I was worried my card details had been nicked but then realised that the same 'agency' that deals with fund collecting dealt with both charities - fortunately just an admin error and the money had gone to the right place. I think I would have been too embarassed to ask for it back from a charity but wanted the MA to have it too...very difficult, but all OK in the end.

Hi all, I've now progressed (or regressed) to OTT anger at random people.

Last night went to my first Weight Watchers meeting for a while (last one being when I weighed in and then told her I was pregnant). Feels like ages ago even though it was only 3 weeks. I phoned the leader beforehand to say I was coming back and she was lovely, and I'd been having a really good day, feeling all philosophical and patting myself on the back for handling everything really well. . . .

So I get there (with DP, he goes too), and the first thing we are confronted with is that the woman checking you in and handing out cards has her stupid baby sitting right next to her. I said, loudly enough I thought, that I hadn't been for a while, because I was pregnant, but am not anymore. She is apparently deaf, keeps looking for my card, then looks at me and says 'have you reached goal?' and I'm thinking 'no you stupid bint, I'm as big as a house, do I look like I've EVER reached goal?' so I said again, louder, 'I quit coming a few weeks back because I was pregnant, but now I'm not, so I am back'. She asked when was the last time you came, and I said again, I don't know, a few weeks ago. I finally had to dig out my own record card with the date on it and say it was three weeks ago. The leader saw me struggling, bless her, and ran over and whispered something in the woman's ear, then snatched my card away from her and kept it until I went up to be weighed (I presume she was removing the info about my being pregnant).

Along with the first baby, there were two other babies in the room, a pregnant lady who'd come with her friend, and about 4 other school age children. The room just felt really close and DP and I were both feeling really uncomfortable. The leader came over and said 'If I hug you, will you cry?' and I said 'yep, probably' so she said 'I'll leave it then'. She is lovely.

Normally the procedure is that you get a number when you check in, and then you are called in groups of 5 to get weighed (basically it keeps the queue moving and everyone doesn't have to queue for the entire time, rather like boarding groups at the airport). I've been going to this particular meeting for 5 months, and never before has this happened. She called 'numbers 10-15' so DP and I got up and stood in the queue, with one lady ahead of us. Suddenly this other woman pushes up and says 'I'm number 10' so I said 'it doesn't work that way' and she snottily said 'why do we have numbers then?' but went to the back of the queue. She kept staring at me, so I gave her a stare back and said VERY loudly that some people were quite rude and didn't understand how things worked and someone should explain it to them. But I was nearly in tears and just wanted to get out of there. Plus very angry and repeated what I'd said to the leader, saying I didn't need this right now, that I hadn't done anything wrong. Leader gave me a little plant she'd bought me and said I'd only gained 1/2 a pound since three weeks ago, but I could barely thank her because I was just seething with rage and embarassment. I think a few tears might have escaped while I was queuing to pay. There was one lady between DP and I, and she said, 'are you together, do you want to go ahead?' and I said 'No, I don't try to push ahead like some people'.

I don't know what happened, I was really okay until I went in there, and I think all those fecking babies and kids just threw me so much....then it's topped off by a really bitchy woman who I could see was talking about me to the other people in the queue as though I was wrong--when I KNEW I wasn't. At least I didn't get into a fistfight, because I really felt like hitting her. I don't know if I can go back there, at least not for a while. I am clearly not ready to be herded into a little room and forced to looked at babies while I wait for someone to tell me how fat I am.

I am going to have to call the leader today and apologise as I did make a bit of a scene, and I barely thanked her for the plant. I think I will tell her I can't come back for a while--I don't know what else to do.

I felt so good yesterday, but today having trouble not crying, and going over and over yesterday in my mind.

Sarah - don't feel bad, it happens. After my 1st mc I felt that absolutely everyone that I saw was pregnant or with a small baby, and I regularly had to restrain myself from making comments to complete strangers (eg when I saw someone pregnant and smoking).

When you talk to your leader, find out if it is possible to get there late or early and not have to have the major queuing situation. I have been to ww before and never had 'numbers' called - queued up to pay and then wait in turn - with a chair to wait beside so you didn't get to close to the scales etc.

I think that you've done really well only gaining 1/2lb - focus on that. It would be so easy to lose that and another by next week. Go along and hold your head high. Try to go when there are less children around - but, I'm afraid, its something that you just have to get used to (this is from someone that didn't flock out to the office entrance to see secretary's 3mo baby as I should have had one in my arms about the same age

Lots of hugs (I know its not a 'done' thing to do on mn, but sometimes its really needed!

Cheers Mistlethrush, and thanks for the hugs. This particular WW meeting is always busy, and there's always queuing no matter when you get there (have tried both). Probably best would be to arrive as late as possible then skip out. Or find another meeting, but I hate to abandon this leader as she's been lovely. I may feel differently next Thursday, but right now not wanting to go back.

I haven't even had time to process the weight issue. I can't believe I only gained 1/2 a pound in those three weeks. After the MC, DP and I ate everything and anything we could get our hands on. Poor DP gained 2.5 lbs. He also gained while I was pregnant---we are saying he was the one who was pg, not me.

Going to finish cleaning the house today, go get some healthy groceries and get us back on the wagon today. I cooked a healthy dinner last night for the first time in a while, and it was lovely. Hopefully will not get in any fights at the supermarket

Mollie OMG just saw your news on another thread!!! Congratulations!!!! I am so pleased for you xxxxxx

Can you throw a bagload of babydust our way please?

Seems like I'm being outed everywhere
Thanks Munchies I am chucking baby dust all over every single one of you
For those that don't know I got a BFP yesterday, only 5 wks after ERPC, still in shock, terrified, petrified and excited. But I really hope this gives you all hope.
I won't be going anywhere soon, if that's OK guys

Sorry Mollie but you have given me hope! V excited for you xx

Thank you munchies hope some of that baby dust sticks to you

Hi Ladies 1000 posts, started a new thread here, hope it is ok....

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1366/615270