Hello everyone, I'm back from the wilderness!
Bunny thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot. I think you and I have both had 2 mc in a row now haven't we? Hope to god neither of us ever have to go through this again.
Mollie so sorry to hear you've been feeling so down, really hope you get the help and support you need, we'll all be around whenever you're ready to come back.
Thomas William K--- was born at 6.40pm on Sunday.
I can't believe he's gone.
The induction, though horrible, wasn't as bad as I feared. Contractions were fairly terrible until my waters broke, but much better once they got me a morphine drip and some gas and air (great stuff!) DH was timing and said they were lasting 45secs every 1 1/2 minutes, but it felt like much longer and much more often! That went on for about an hour and a half, then the pain stopped. He was born, quite suddenly, about 2 hours or so later.
I decided not to see him in the end, though DH did and he described him to me. The hospital took his footprints for us, which I'm glad about, although I haven't yet found the strength to look at them yet.
The placenta didn't come away as easily as they would have liked and it took them AGES (about 12 hours) to decide whether I needed an erpc. Had to go for an internal scan which in a way was the worst bit. It was so familiar and yet so different - in the past I have always been terrified about whether there was a heartbeat, whether everything looked ok etc etc, but to see nothing there was terrible. Just felt like he should still be in there, safe and sound.
We will have a very small funeral for him, just me, DH and the vicar who married us. Not sure when though. Maybe next week.
Am doing ok all things considered. Want the bleeding to stop though.
We will wait a few months before we ttc again, but I hope no-one minds if I stay here in the mean time.
I want to do everything I can to make sure we are as strong as we can be, both emotionally and physically, before we try again. I also want to have tests done on us to check this isn't something that's just bound to happen again and again. Don't think I could bear that.
Cece was just wondering how long it took before you ov'd afer your mc? I remember you had a pretty tough time with your afs for the first few months. I want to try and keep track of where I am (because, clearly, I am a control freak ) and I will start temping in a while.
Thank you all for your support and cake. Somehow it seems the world keeps turning, and for that I am grateful.
My offering today is a delicious fresh fruit smoothie with frozen yoghurt, banana, apple juice, raspberries, lemon juice and fresh mango. Enjoy