MC Avengers - Chocolate cake anyone?

[mistlethrush]

I've started a new thread as the old one was full - hope everyone finds their way here OK.

Daisyj FAB FAB FAB News Oh well done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello to minster Im sorry you had to join us - ive been off thread for a bit but these ladies are the biz for sanity-saving - you sound like you have had a hard time of it and I'm so sorry for your loss of Toby {{{hugs}}}

ladyh - am weighing up the idea of early scan. On the plus side, I'd have some reassurance (hopefully), on the minus side, if all is not OK, I think I would have to have ERPC immediately. If I'd known earlier last time, that is what I would have done, i think (and baby was never viable, so that would have shown on early scan). However, ended up mc'ing naturally at 11 weeks, so avoided operation and all that entails. It's a tough one. What would/did you do?

I think the knickercheckers might have some good advice too - thanks for the thought.

ontheup - thanks, hon .

x

Daisy - congratulations. I would certainly want an early scan (one of the good things about being accepted on the early mc unit is that I can ring up and get early scans - any chance similar for you?). Re erpc - I've had two (same mc though) - after effects of operation itself not bad - I struggle getting over ga s though - and you still have the psychological side of things at the same time. However, it does potentially get it all over and done with relatively early on.

With ds I saw a heartbeat at 6wks - at 9wks he was already jumping around and you could see limbs etc.

Fingers crossed for you - and of course you don't need to leave!

hi
i have been lurking for a while as i am not sure if i 'qualify'. i recognise a few faces here so i thought i would post
i had a MC in 2002 at 14 weeks then i had DD in jan 2006. me and DH decided to wait to TTC#2 til after we got married (4th aug 2007). we started TTC in october and are still trying 9 cycles later. i had a chemical pregnancy in april (5+1) and another in june (5 weeks). so what dya think? we are still ttc and i am due to Ov any time soon!! i can also provide tea and cakes...does that make a difference
xx ei xx

hi guys i had a miscarrige today, and will be ttc when i feel ready. and tips on trying to get it into perspective, i feel like my whole world has collapsed xx

NattyThomasAndEllen "i feel like my whole world has collapsed" me too - it's shit isn't it

Daisy, congratulations! I usually have a scan at around 6+5/6+6 becuase I've always seen a hb then (I had one mc before 6 weeks).

I much prefer ERPC to medical/expectant management - despite the GA - I know lots of other people hate ERPCs though.

I've been investigated at length - all the normal mc stuff & immune things (NK cells etc), I did my IVF at the ARGC (who are somewhat thorough). I'm contemplating getting referred to St Mary's this time - not sure what difference it will make. We've already decided that regardless of the tests results we'll go for full treatment (as we did my my ds who didn't die) - 150mg aspirin & 20mg clexane throughout, & 20mg prednisolone & 400mg of progesterone to 12 weeks, with added high vaginal swabs every two weeks after this most recent loss. Then growth & placental scans through the second & third trimesters.

Hello, is it OK if I jump in?
My boyfriend and I (he's 28, I'm 27) are ttc our first baby.

I came off the pill in May. Unbeknownst to me I fell pregnant a few weeks later (neg tests and apparent "period" fooled me into thinking I wasn't pg), but had a miscarriage at 3-4 weeks last week. I didn't know I was pg until the mc started, so it's been a strange time.
On the one hand we're happy that we got pregnant so quickly; on the other it was a horrible experience (obviously). I particularly found the passing of the "products", as the hospital so charmingly calls it, very upsetting. I'm still quite on edge in some ways- yesterday my heart sank when I saw "spotting", but then I realised I'd just cut myself shaving my bikini line!

The mc stopped on Saturday, and we've jumped right back in the saddle, which my GP said is fine. My boyfriend is convinced that we're super-fertile (or rather, I suspect, he's convinced he has super-swimmers!) so we're both secretly hoping I'll get pregnant again straight away. More fool us, perhaps...

Annoyingly, since the mc I've experienced pregnancy symptoms eg morning sickness. I guess this is down to the hormones. Anyone else had this or is it my mind playing tricks?

Anyway, that's me. Hope there's room for another one here.

i had a miscarrige today, and i am in total shock and am devestaded.
i did 4 home tests all positve over the weekend. today had a major bleed (like flooded my jeans) and went to a&e. they have said i wasnt pregnant cos thier urine test was negative. in the hospital passed a large tissue type lump (texture of raw meat i would say is closest to describing it) so the doctor said i must have miscarried, and have taken bloods and they will be giving me a scan later in the week.
i am in total limbo, i dont know what is going on, why wouldnt i have been pregnant? i had all the sypmtons and the tests. ive got 2 kids already i know when i am pregnant. so why didnt it come up?
the whole thing is killing me, i cant stop crying.

anyone any idea?

that was meant to read yesterday

Natty sometimes there's no rhyme or reason to these things but the one thing I have learnt from this group is that we have all had very different experiences and while some have contiuned to have +ve pg tests weeks after their mc others were showing negative straight away - there's no logic at all. I was the same when I mc'd just couldnt stop crying, I think its shock aswell as grief and its so much better to let it out - can you get someone to look after your 2 DCs and get some time to yourself? Maybe get outside and feel the sun? All my best wishes.

Joy27 hello - sorry you too had to join us. Rubbish isnt it? I know of a few bods who got pg strightaway again after an mc so fingers crossed for you

Natty Very sorry you have had this happen, sounds like you were pg with 4 tests. My first mc the test showed negative the day after I started bleeding, on my third it took a few days. It varies, but you knew you were pregnant don't let what the hospital say make you feel you shouldn't be upset. You are in good company here, the ladies will look after you.

thank you teehee and ontheup it did make me feel like i had no right to be upset, they put in my note late period.. but it wasnt and for some reason that seemed ever so iimportant at the time.
have had a chat with DH, he thinks we should try again, and i do as well.
so we will be ttc in a few weeks, but not all out, if it happens it happens, it feels almost like a betrayl to try to hard. does that make sense?

what do i do with the tests? throwing them away seems too harsh, but it would be silly to keep them.

I think the positive result may fade anyway - maybe you could photograph them to keep a memory. I did and they make me cry when I look at them but I'm glad I did, otherwise there is no record.

minster - welcome to you. Very sorry to hear about your losses especially Toby. I lost my daughter Hope at 18 weks back at christmas.

daisy - Yeah a BFP!

NattyThomasAndEllen joy and QueenyEisGotTheBall - a sad but warm welcome to you all too.

Well I am off on holiday now for two weeks.... see you all then!

thanks cece have a nice holiday
i have been feeling a little shakey about things over the past few days. i found out my friend had had her baby 4 weeks early this morning. all is well and i am so happy for her but it just reminds me of how far away i am from being in that position especially as my GP is so obstructive and was refusing to investigate my Mcs. i spoke to her about the CPs and she told me they were early MCs as there is no such thing as CPs and she then went on to tell me to give up trying altogether as "most pregs end in MC so if i dont want MCs stop trying for a baby" that is a direct word for word quote from my GP i have put a complaint into the practice and basically 'forced' her to refer me to someone who knows what they are talking about so hopefully things will get investigated soon. i am still feeling a bit of an imposter but i hope im not as reading through you ladies seem like such a lovely supportive bunch
xx ei xx

Hey ei - you were up late! I am totally [shocked] about your GP - absolutely horrified.
My GP has been really good but the registrar at the hospital was awful, he said that the middle miscarriage was important because I had a scan and so he knew I was definately pg. I was so upset that he was suggesting I may not have been the other 2 times beause I had done more that one test each time and my period was over a week late. He just said keep trying and come back in 6 mths. I don't understand why the medical profession seem to keen to ignore this issue. I think it is their own ignorance frankly.
It's so frustrating when you see friends seeming to sail through the whole baby thing so I understand how you feel happy for her and upset all at the same time. I have wobbly times and sometimes have no idea where they come from.

ei . I think I remember you telling this story on another thread (?), but it still horrifies me. And you are not an imposter!

natty, so sorry to hear your story. What is it with these people telling women that they weren't pregnant. Are they mad? As far as I am aware, you can get false negatives, but not false positives from tests. If it says you were pregnant, you were pregnant. How dare they put 'late period'?

joy welcome. If you feel ready, no reason why you shouldn't start ttc straight away - and take advantage of all the hormones still buzzing around . I didn't experience the nausea after mc thing, but I know people who have. Hormones are funny things! Good luck, hon.

Can I have a mememe rant? I'm trying really really hard to believe it's all going to be OK this time. And I have moments when I (kind of) do. But really deep down I think it's all going to end badly again, and then I feel really guilty because I think I'm going to make it happen by thinking like that. And I was in tears before I even got to work today. And I'm only 5+2 today and I WILL go mad if I carry on like this. I'm fine right now, but I know I could go at any time. Also, I have dull achy feeling like pre-period. I gather that's normal as everything begins to stretch and there's more blood pumping to the uterus, etc., but of course I'm sure every twinge is a sign of imminent doom...

Am definitely going to ask for an early scan when I see doc next week.

Anyway, here I am whingeing about being pg. What an idiot .

daisyj - Getting pg after a mc is really hard so please don't feel that you have to hide how you feel here.
I was exactly the same on my third pg and whilst I don't believe that you will do any harm by feeling how you do I also feel now that my worrying did no good at all. I hope this doesn't make you feel worse but I think I was trying to protect myself in case things went wrong, they did (m/c no 3) and I was as devastated as I would have if I had been really excited. Do you get what I mean?

I have decided that if and when I get another BFP I am going to enjoy it, however long it lasts.

Do you go on the knicker checkers anonymous thread as well - I'm sure that those ladies will have plenty of wise words too.

I've got my fingers crossed for you that this is a sticky one.

teehee I do get what you mean. And it makes perfect sense. I hadn't really thought about it like that, but of course it doesn't matter how much you try to 'protect' yourself, or not get too excited, the loss is still just as devestating. And it feels wrong not to honour the bean when it's doing its best to grow and be sticky

Thanks so much for the wise words (and kind throughts) - it really makes a difference when you have to be 'normal' and can't go into meltdown at work.

Have they found any cause for your three m/cs? I remember you saying you had a horrid time at the hospital. Hope you're getting any medical support you need. How's it been going back to work? Questions, questions

daisyj I felt really bad after that I hadn't accepted the bean so I think you're right.
Medically we are in no mans land really. I have had blood test for antibodies and no probs there, my doctor then pushed for me and DP to have genetic blood tests (the hospital were going to wait another 6m) and no probs there so we are going to have to take the plunge, although I guess it does make me feel a bit more positive.

Work is actually going really well thanks, although I have to work tomorrow which will be the first time I have done 2 days in a row - fingers crossed. I'm actually feeling pretty good at the moment which is a huge relief, there was a time I thought I would never feel normal again

Daisyj, I think we all know how you feel. YOu aren't whinging. You are delighted to have got that BFP and scared shitless at the same time amd analysing every single ache and pain. Hardly surprising!

You should def get that early scan. You'll feel so much better once you see that little heartbeat. I shall keep everything crossed for you.

Daisy - lots of us know what you're feeling and have been there. My first mc ended up with mp and treatment and no ttc for a year afterwards, got given 5 months to try again naturally by consultant before IVF - had the appointment set up for setting dates etc for that and got bfp. Waiting for scan at 6wks (which they gave me due to mp) was the longest wait - 9.30 appointment, 10.20 actual scan - no finger nails left by then. I don't think that it was until about 20 wks that I started settling down - and even then I still had my moments. But ds is a big, boisterous 3.4 now - so different from that tiny bean I saw jumping around at 9wks...

Look after yourself, and try to do good things and avoid bad - then you won't be able to blame yourself if this isn't the one that's meant to be. Fingers crossed though that it is

mistle your wise and kind words always strike a cord with me! you are so right in what you say.

daisyj congrats on bfp and i totally understand what you are going through. it was hard being at work in that mental state and not tell anyone. am now signed off sick as it was too stressful to deal with all both aspects. rest lots and i am sending lots of vibes that you will have a sticky bean.

i am going to be 10 weeks tomorrow,but am still stressing despite seeing bean with heartbeat on scan at 6 weeks and 8.5 weeks. i started bleeding brown blood this morning so am totally stressed and thinking that this is it. after an mc (2 for me), it's never easy to relax. i am trying to remind myself that i bled with dd in the first trimester, but that's not taking away the gloom at the moment.

natty and queenei welcome and sorry to see you here. re cps my last mc was a cp at 5 weeks - not sure if you read the above postings but i read that you can help prevent cp if you take extra vit b6 - i started taking an extra 100 mg on top of my pregnacare and the following month after cp, i fell pg with current pregnancy.

mistle - thanks so much - it's made me smile thinking of a 9 week old bean as a great big 3.4 year old. Hope your fingernails all grew back!

bunny - hope all OK. Remember that over 90% of scans at 8 weeks where you see a heartbeat go on to term, so the odds are on your side, hon.

thanks daisyj am going to see doctor this afternoon as just passed a clot as well will keep positive thoughts in mind until i find out though.... how are you feeling these days? did you get your early scan booked in?