MC Avengers - Chocolate cake anyone?

[mistlethrush]

I've started a new thread as the old one was full - hope everyone finds their way here OK.

Hi Rosie, just read you post and had to reply. I had a MMC in december last year, and we aren't trying again at the moment (can't face going through it again yet) but still lurk on here anyway. I know exactly how you feel- in the last few months 3 people at work have got pregnant and Brother in law and his girlfriend are also having their 20 week scan this week. Obviously I'm happy for them all- but feel so jealous that things didn't turn out differently for us. I'm sure these feelings will ease for us both eventually- just hang in there hun xx

rosie and hackney I think its normal to have waves of sadness, wobbles or whatever. It happens with other types of grief too and while it is so upsetting becasue it hits you without warning I try to think it means i am being 'normal' about this whoel experience whatever that means.

DH and I went out for dinner on Saturday and I ended up in floods (classic wobble behaviour) as I spilt the beans as to how I am still so sad and wanting to be pg again. My mc was only Easter but it feels like forever tbh and there are other bits of bad luck that I have been dealing with too - it all got a bit much and we ended up having a v good discussion so sometimes being down can bring benefits IYKWIM.

I love MN in this respect - this is the place to bare your wobbles without fear! Take care

Scully and cece hi btw!

Hi ladies, having a good week?
Sorry to hear some of you are feeling down, all so normal, sadly. Took me 6mths to be ready to ttc again after 1st m/c, and now after our 2nd m/c I still think constantly how many weeks I should be etc. Definitely good to let your partner know how you're feeling, otherwise they will generally think you're ok because you 'appear' to be.
I agree Ontheup, this is a great place to say what you want and know there are understanding eyes reading it
I have a question for you all, did anyone notice ovulation not occuring when you think it should, after a m/c? Today is cd21 and I don't think I've ovulated as yet. Before m/c I did between day 15 and day 20 and have found opk's always picked this up, but not this cycle?
The last m/c was almost 8wks ago and af started almost 3wks ago.

just wanted to jump on quickly and ask if I could join?

Had a mmc almost a month ago now, haven't got af yet, but dh and I got sick of the added stress of condom/pulling out, so I guess we're technically trying again.

Anyway, just hoping I could join you guys and have a place to just chat...?

Haven't cried/been sad about my mc in so long and for some reason, today I'm just on the verge of tears about it I just read something that reminded me exactly what it was like when the technician turned the monitor around to me and said there's no heartbeat I honestly don't know if I can go through it all again and it's making me seriously consider taking a break from TTC even though I want a baby more than anything in the world. Sorry to be negative, but I just had to get that out and thought this might be the most appropriate place...

ohhh lastbox I am so sorry that you are having a rough time I don't have any words of wisdom (Actually feeling rather sad myself this week, so probably NO help) but try to take it easy and allow yourself to feel down for a while. If you can, focus on how wonderful it will be to have your own baby, and how all of this suffering will seem worthwhile. Hopefully this is just a hiccup in the grand scheme of things. Please don't give up hope....

welcome bcsnowpea I am sorry that you had to join us but you are certainly in the right place for a chat and (most importantly) for support.

scully I noticed my ovulation was all over the place after my mc. I used to ovulate on day 15 of a 30 day cycle (So pretty text book) but first cycle post-mc, I ovulated on day 22 and second cycle (the one just passed) was on day 18. So I think it might be crazy hormones settling down.

Hi, not sure if this is the right place to post but can't think straight right now and really need someone on here to talk sense to me.

I had a mc in July 2007 then a mmc in January with an ERPC and haven't used contraception since so technically ttc. Thing is am 5 days late, was 4 days late last month then had a hellish heavy period totally not normal for me last month. Have had period pains over the weekend, dreadful grumpiness for 2wks, sore boobs last few days and couldn't help myself but did a clearblue digital tonight which says pregnant. Thing is feel really crampy and am so scared it's history repeating cos it feels the same as last year.

I was under care of EPU last time and I don't know what to do. Should I leave it a few weeks to see if I miscarry naturally, phone the EPU tomorrow or in a week or two? I can't think of this as being a pregnancy cos I found it really awful last time and I can't go through this a third time though I know I might have to. DH took the last one really badly too and we had a horrible couple of months. He works away so I've blurted it out on phone tonight and the reception was crap (plus he was knackered) so don't feel very supported at the moment. Oh god what do I do now??????? Please don't tell me to relax cos I feel numb with fear anyway. I'm so sorry to rant on it just feels really lonely.

scotlass I don't have uch advise but just didn't want your post to go unanswered...I am so sorry that you are going through all of this, especially as your DH is away.

Could you go to your GP? Otherwise, it does sound like you might need to go to your EPU...although I can COMPLETELY understand who you might not want to.

uch = much

who = why

Haven't had my morning coffee yet - sorry!

Scotlass good luck - I think you need to go to the GP at least and get the fact that you are pg registered - I have only had one mc but others here have said that if god forbid you have 3 it opens the NHS door for tests as to the casues of the mc. SOrry to be practical but others have said this is what needs to be done. tbh the GP will hopefully be able to reassure you too. And congrats on the BFP btw I know its all stressy now but try to focus on the fact that you ARE pg

Scotlass I'm so sorry you feel alone and upset, but I agree with the others to see your doctor. I understand that you're hesitant, but I myself would go to the EPU so I know exactly what's going on in there. Best of luck

Last night had bit of a breakdown with DH about how I've been feeling about the miscarriage lately. He said nothing to make me feel better, in fact he made me feel a bit worse. I know he didn't mean to, it's just the way it came out - ie It wasn't really a baby, you'll get over it, etc. Not in so many words, but that was the idea. I tried to explain to him that you never get over it - I could go on to have 10 babies, but that doesn't change the sadness I feel when I think about this one. Then this morning a woman walked into our office because she was meeting with my colleagues. They hadn't seen her for a while and it was obvious that she was pregnant. The questions started and it turns out she's 6 months, due in September. Just a little further along than I would've been (I was due first week in October) I'm just having a really hard time dealing lately. I guess becuase I'm expecting my period on Monday and not very hopeful of successful TTC this month.

Thanks for the replies everyone. I've just reread my post and it is a complete ramble!

Have made decision to phone EPU tomorrow and at least register the bfp with them. TBH they told me to go straight to them if I was to get pg again and bypass the GP. It took 2 days via the GP to get a scan at 12wks with fresh bleed to confirm my mmc in Jan. They also said as I'd had 2 previous mc they would scan me earlier if there was a next time. It's my DD's 9th birthday tomorrow and there's 11 girls coming to the house for a makeover party after school so I'll phone in the morning then try and forget about it and force myself not to constantly go to the toilet to check for bleeding .

lastboxoftampons I'm so sorry you're hurting. If it's any consolation I don't think anyone can truly appreciate the extent to which you can really feel the loss of a baby at any stage unless you've been through it yourself. My DH seemed really together about ours then had a bit of a breakdown himself about it all one day much to my . It's always going to be raw around due dates and seeing friends and family whose babies are the same age as my 2 would have been but I've accepted that now and refuse to feel that those feelings aren't normal. To me nothing can replace my wee angels but to others I suppose they were cells.

notsonewanymore thanks for replying

Glad you made a decision scotlass - good luck.

And v good luck with the party - sounds absolutley fabulous daaaaaaaaaaarrrrling!

good luck scotslass, hope epu can see you quickly to reassure you.

well am feeling rubbish at the moment too lastbox i should have been 20 weeks today and instead of having my 20 week scan i spent the day at work and then writing an essay for a course I'm doing. also on very unlikely 2 week wait, not hopeful for this month and DH away at the appropriate time next month so generally feeling rubbish
sorry its such as miserable post but this week has been a huge effort to just get through the day without crying!!

I hope everyone else is more cheerful than me!

Napa so sorry I think we both felt crap at the same time last time too, didn't we? I guess it makes sense, I think I would've been about 22 weeks or so this week

There must be something in the air - I started crying while driving to and from work this morning/afternoon. Really missing the fact that I don't have a newborn. There seems to be babies everywhere at the moment.

Not helped by the fact that I have had my hours cut. DH is ranting about it. I am feeling a bit powerless to do anything about it really as there isn't the money to pay for the extra hours, so not sure what ranting and raving at the boss would do. (this is what DH wants me to do). Have spoken to my boss today. I sympathise but losing nearly a third of my hours is going to cut into my money a fair bit

morning all,

scotlass did you manage to get an EPU appointment? Good luck for the birthday party and happy birthday to your DD

napa lastbox cece I do think there is something in the air / water!! I have also had a rough week - I have just been feeling like there is nothing to look forward to...instead of being excited for the 20 week scan (I would also be 21 weeks this week) I feel like I have stepped back in time to where we were last year, starting to ttc and unsure of what will happen next. I am also finding ttc really, really hard the second time. The first time was an adventure, whereas now reality has set in. Being pregnant is no longer the exciting unknown anymore! The experience really has been ruined...

Sorry - I have probably not helped any of you cheer up, but it is so good to know that I am not alone in how I feel.

Hopefully we will all have good weekends and start next week refreshed

scotlass - any news?

I have news! FF has now decided it thinks I OV last Thursday! I am very confused this cycle as I thought it was probably Sun or Mon!

Well if either is true we have BD the right days for either dates so we shall see...

Hope everyone OK - very quiet on here at the moment - must be the gorgeous weather.

Hi

Just got back on - had a bit of a hectic time this week end.

First EPU appointment is tomorrow 1030 but to be honest I've had cramps all weekend and have started bleeding today so will just phone them in the morning to see what happens now this being the 3rd time and all that . DH and I are being quite philosophical today, the last time was hellish being 11+wks and having rip roaring pg symptoms so bleeding this early on at least has spared a few weeks of angst. Getting really pisseed off now feel like the last year has been a complete roller coaster. Kind of feel tempted to give up now and get a dog. Not sure if my body and soul can take any more.

Anyway sorry to drone on. Someone get on here quick and give us some good news!!!

GOd luck wthe apt tomorrow scotlass let us kno whow you get on.

Dont know whether this is good news or not but an on 2ww at mo and had a tiny bit of bleeding which I am HOPING could be implantation bleedingh - came on CD16 and i had a 30 day cycle last month so I am hoping against hope. Probably wasnt anything like that but one can dream.

Just had a lovely day at Weston playing on the beach with DS - hope everyone has been out enjoying the sunshine and getting those happy rays.

Scotlass - we got a dog. We got one that was going to be fine with children as we had friends with small children that visited regularly. Now dog 8, ds 3 - so it was worth having the dog as it definitely helped getting through the wait!

After 1st mc, I had a session crying, in a restaurant in Spain, about 10months after mc - owners were rather worried and couldn't quite translate reasons - so I know what lots of people are going through.

I'm still feeling and at the fact that secretary is now on ml - would have been following in about 2 weeks...

Back from a holiday which is why I've not been on. Not very restful though, thanks to ds!

Morning mistlethrush

scotlass - how was it at the EPU?

Welcome back mistle

scotlass how is it going? Any news from the EPU?

ontheup fingers crosssed that it was implantation bleeding! When will you test?

Welcome back mistle glad you had a good holiday!

sod it, just typed a message and pressed wrong button and it disappeared!!!!!! grr

Well news is scan and blood test confirmed it, mc no3. So it's back to try, try and try again, least that bit's fun . Dropped DH oof at station to head back down south for work, he's back for weekend in 3wks so we need to try and get clever at working weekend home round my cycle. Seriously thinking about the dog and a camper van as I'm fed up going through the same shite every time there's a positive test. I know I should be grateful I've got a beautiful DD and a lovely DH. Bleeding heavy and stomach cramps and missing DH already so feeling sorry for myself

cece hope everything works out with work
mistle glad you enjoyed an action holiday! DH still not too keen on dog but seems to be humouring me today
ontheup fingers and toes crossed it's implantation, hope it's a sticky bean.