TTC #1 no previous pregnancies cycle #6 - looking for others in the same boat!

[MocktailMe]

Hi all.

As per the title, TTC first baby, I've never had a confirmed pregnancy before. I'm 31, bf is 27.

Been trying to conceive 9 months, but due to PCOS only 6 cycles.

This year I've lost weight, and my cycles since January have varied from 28 days to 38 days. Had PCOS confirmed, and currently waiting for an appointment with gynaecologist to see if I need further assistance. Appointment is taking its sweet time so for now doing it the old fashioned way still with plenty of hope (at least some days, not so much others!!!).

I'm currently on cycle day number 28, negative tests, no signs of a period in sight, CM up to my eyeballs and a whole heap of doubt over when ovulation occured!!

If you are :

TTC #1
A woman who has never been pregnant
Pissing on sticks at an ALARMING rate
Potentially with PCOS but healthy ovaries welcome 😁

Then PLEASE join my thread, so in need of buddies in a similar boat! ⛵

No offence to those TTC #2 or more, genuinley ❤️ just hoping to speak to people who also have no idea what pregnancy would feel like, and who also maybe have the fear they CANNOT ever get pregnant ❤️

Hey! I'd love to join ☺️ I'm 28 and this is cycle 7 for me. Feels like AF is coming so think I'm out now. I have endometriosis and a low egg reserve so the fear that I cannot get pregnant feels very much real - never had a CP or anything so honestly no idea what it would feel like.

Hey @Nessie2395 ! Pleased to have you on the boat - but sorry you're in it with me! When are you due on your period?

@MocktailMe thank you!! My period is due tomorrow. How about you? How long are your cycles usually?

I get cramps every month from about 3DPO to my period, related to my endo. So I feel like I only get a couple days of hope because these feel like a sign the cycle has failed almost immediately! As I've never been pregnant, I have no idea if I'd get the cramps or if they'd disappear/be different. It's so hard. Anyway the cramps feel exactly like they usually do so my hopes are low!

Between 28-38 over the last few months. The last 3 have all been 31 days which would mean due tomorrow but I have zero symptoms of a period coming so far, so I'm thinking it will be a few more days yet!!

I'm sorry that must be awful, so painful! AFAIK cramps can feel the exact same when you're pregnant as I think it's a often confused symptom!

Have you been offered any treatment for endo?

Ah I see, it must be quite stressful having a cycle that varies in length! It's good it's been a bit more consistent the last few months. How long have you been waiting for your gynae appointment?

Thanks! I hope the cramps are the same because then I'm in with a shot 😂 I had a lap for my endo in November, it helped somewhat with the pain but hasn't helped me conceive so far! I'm worried my tubes are blocked or something because their was endo on the outside of one and it can cause scarring/a kinked tube apparently.

Hello I’d love to join this thread!!

• I’m 35 have been TTC for 6 months.
• Recently did a hertility test which flagged possible PCOS so am currently getting it investigated by my GP.

I’ve not had PCOS confirmed but I’ve been referred by my GP for:

• day 21 progesterone test (to confirm if I’m actually ovulating)
• thyroid test
• referral for ultra sound for ovaries

Theres a lot of info out there to digest!

Would really recommend Natalie Crawfords podcast

open.spotify.com/episode/5lq0MT0DeqPlqjOSEWF2te?si=rflNgm6ESi2ojQluCKVjPQ

This gave me so much info - some of its quite depressing but it’s made me feel WAY better.

Theres been some good research on Myo inositol - which I may try once I’ve got my results from my GP.

I think I’m going to take this month off trying to conceive because I need a sanity break while we get me tested and also my partners sperm tested too to cover our bases.

my GP was pretty good when I said I wanted it all checked out so it may be worth calling them if you haven’t. They might investigate things sooner with PCOS and for me knowledge I think?! Will help.

I’ve been getting really depressed because literally 3/6 close friends are pregnant and everyone around me seems to have kids. It’s just such a rollercoaster!

It's tricky to time things right! My body usually tries to ovulate 2 or 3 times per month and it's only when the cycle is over I know which were the failed attempts. I got my referral at the start of the year so around 6 months now.

I've heard good things about the lap - that puts you at 6 months TTC which is well within the normal range, plus would need time for everything to settle. I'd say you have lots to be hopeful for!

When did you last test?

Hi there nice to have you on board!

I have spoken to my GP - I've got an active referral to gynacology as next steps will likely be to try Metformin or clomid. Just waiting for the appointment now! I didn't wait to go to my GP, as I already knew I had PCOS I went to get the referral within 3 months of TTC as knew I would be referred due to that.

I can't blame you for the month off. I thought it was madness when I first saw people talking about taking a break but now I totally get it. It is draining!

I'm quite lucky that most of my friends are in the never having kids or done having kids bracket. Work is another story - I have over 100 colleagues and there's always someone pregnant at work. It's hard to be around but I'm lucky that I'm not expected to attend baby showers etc as I'm not close with them.

Do you know what the wait is for gyno? I’m slightly panicking as I’ve just turned 35 (so totally had a fertility related existential crisis).

I’m tempted to try inositol anyway as there’s a wait but I’m not sure if this is entirely irresponsible.

I also should try and lose about 5kgs so I’ve started to try that. Appreciate speaking to others in the same boat!

I went to the GP in December aged 30, my gyno appointment is now July (was moved by them).

Being over 35 will likely speed things up for you though. Becasue I have periods at least every 5 weeks and I'm 31 the doctors don't seem that concerned about me, without the PCOS diagnoses in hand I'd have been told to wait a year and come back so I'm glad I already had that diagnosis recorded and didn't have to go through the process now. Even with the PCOS because I'm not going months on end without periods they don't seem concerned - I had to insist. From what I've read the guidelines are different over 35 so I think you'll likely get seen to faster!

I’m thinking about trying these supplements the reviews are insane and there’s also positive research around Myo inositol

https://freesoul.com/products/pcos-supplement

I see, I really hope you get your appointment soon! Before I've rang them to see if they've had cancellations so that might be worth doing if you haven't already? Might get seen sooner!

Thank you for that, I will try to think positively after the lap it must hav helped in some way. I think I was naive and had read all these things about people getting their BFP very soon afterwards - I never have been very patient.

I was negative at 10DPO and haven't tested since but it feels so much like AF is coming!

@MocktailMe can I please also ask, is it a fertility referral you've been given or sort of gynaecology for PCOS investigation? Just wondering if I should try get the GP to refer me to fertility now even though it's not been a year because of my pre existing conditions. They'll probably dismiss me though especially as I'm under 35!

@CharLdn I've heard good things about that but not tried myself personally!

It's really hard reading success stories. I'm so torn as sometimes they give me hope but then it makes me worry why isn't that me!!!

The referral is for fertility, I've had bloods taken recently (day 21 and day 2) and an ultrasound earlier this year. This appointment is hopefully going to prescribe me either Metformin or clomid or a similar drug, which my GP isn't able to do. Your pre existing conditions should mean they won't make you wait a year either, endo has complications for fertility too!

How many DPO are you now?

I'm not sure personally but it's CD31 and not a hint of period in sight, still BFN.

@MocktailMe Hey! Ok that's helpful thank you. I think I will book a GP appointment. I have heard good things about clomid for people with PCOS etc! It's good to have a next step, or a strategy, in sight. Something new to try.

I'm 13DPO and AF seems to have started, so that's it for cycle 7. I don't feel as upset as usual, my hopes were low. On the bright side, I'm off on holiday in a week and at least I can now drink wine!!

Looking like a longer cycle for you then, that means there is still hope if it was one of your body's later attempts at ovulation which worked? TTC seems to be all about just waiting, it's agonising isn't it.

Definitely worth booking a GP appointment to get the ball rolling!

That's nice you have a holiday booked. Seems like the holiday will coincide with ovulation and I'm sure you'll get plenty shagging in whilst away 😂

I agree it's so much waiting. Im assuming the same for now, if I didn't ovulate til as late as this past weekend I've still got about ten days to go before I'd expect a positive or a period. Either of which logically could come at any point between now and then!!

I wish I could simply forget about it all and remember in ten days time but it's just impossible.

@MocktailMe I think I’m about CD 10 but I’m giving myself a month off TTC - like if we feel like it we’ll have sex but we’ve been doing it every other day from days 10-20 in previous cycles which has been a bit much.

Because we’ve been militantly trying since Jan I’m looking forward to not having to bother or think about it for a bit till we’ve both got our test results back.

I’m trying more of a Mediterranean diet and doing 10k steps a day to generally be a bit more healthy too. If I do have pcos I think I’m going to give inositol a go, but won’t until
i know it’s that.

I'm going to call my GP tomorrow!

Haha my thoughts exactly, perfect time for some romance 🤣
It would be amazing if we could forget for the TWW. Fingers crossed for you 🙏 I've been trying to distract myself during the TWW and have been trying to do something new in those two weeks every month. Next month I might try a book club!

@Nessie2395 oooh if you find a good book let me know! I'll read it too and we can both keep busy!!!

Books I’d really recommend Really good actually by Monica Heisey it was absolutely hilarious.

Side note I just found out another of my close friends is pregnant (there are currently 3/group of 6 of us) and I’m feeling super depressed about it.

How are you guys dealing with this?

I’m going to therapy, pathalogically playing tennis and trying to lose weight and feeling very sad. I know I need to think more positively about it but it’s really bloody hard sometimes.

@CharLdn omg I read this recently and as someone who was divorced at 27 it was SO on the nose and SO funny!!!! Sad too though!

I'm not sure how I'm dealing with it honestly. My whole life is split into before I get pregnant and AFTER I get pregnant. Hate planning things too far in advance. Constantly daydream about th future. Holding off on doing things as waiting for my baby eg sorting out spare room - don't want to ask that will be the nursery no point decorating it now etc etc. Everything you aren't meant to do!!!!! It's harder than I ever expected.

I really feel for you. I have no issues being around my friends and their older kids but if any of them were pregnant I'd find it so so hard.

@CharLdn I will have to look up Monica Heisey!

It's very difficult, I haven't yet had any close friends getting pregnant yet so not had to deal with those feelings but that must be so hard. One of my friends is getting married in October and is constantly talking about having a baby straightaway so if she conceives before me, that will be really tough. I think you have to be kind to yourself and be the best friend to them you can be. Remember when it's your turn to be pregnant you will need their support and you have to tell yourself it'll be your turn one day. Obviously we can't know the future but I have to tell myself that because the alternative is not what I want to contemplate yet.

@MocktailMe haha our spare room is also a nursery in waiting. It's become a junkyard because we refuse to make it into anything else. We've even put a couple toys in there we've found. I did decide to paint the wall pink in there a few months ago - can always paint over it!

My biggest predicament at the moment is I'm bored to tears of my job. I am overqualified, underpaid and unfulfilled. I want something new but worry about losing maternity benefits. But I've been there a year longer than I wanted to be because I was hoping I'd get pregnant so now I have no baby and also dislike my job. I wonder if I should make the leap and get a new job because it could be a long time before I conceive. I'm not sure!

@Nessie2395 I took the plunge and started a new job after being with an employer ages. I was concerned I wouldn't qualify for maternity, turns out I didn't need to worry about that 😂😢

I'd say do it. Life's too bloody short and TTC is too bloody long! I doubt you'll regret it, and you'd still get mat allowance if nothing else. You can't be discriminated against if you fall pregnant as soon as you start anyway so I really think silly not to.

That said I didn't walk away from a good mat package in the first place. Even if I had though I feel certain id have done the same thing..my new job is much more enjoyable.