TTC 2024 - New Year Babies

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Hey!

Thought id start a new thread as anyone at the beginning of their cycle TTC now I guess will be looking at January due dates! Think AF will be here today or tomorrow for me so my due date would be 7th January…

Hope you’re all keeping okay! Had a couple weeks not reading threads and sacked off doing ovulation tests etc for this month. Only managed to dtd a couple times over a guessed time so who knows 😂back to it properly next month, the pressure of the 4 months before being completely consumed by it every second of the day was getting too much! No one warns you how mentally draining Ttc can be!

@Katie1989xx I definitely see a faint line there!!! Fx it's the start of a strong positive. Test tomorrow!!
@Firsttimetrier omg that's a quick turn of events wow!! How many dpo are you since you had bfn at 8&9 dpo?
@CadoAvo it's a squinter... but I see it!!!! Test again tomorrow, digital needs high level hcg to pick up, usually when you miss your period.
Great news ladies, hoping this is my month too! Had static smiley today so dtd today and will 3 days in a row.

@Irish812 I was 12DPO yesterday. I just assumed it wasn’t successful this cycle, so continued living life as usual but I guess a lot of people do that and maybe not being so stressed helped?!

I’m having some pulling sensations on my left side (also had ovulation pain this side too), so worrying something isn’t right and it’s an ectopic but will see how things go and call the GP if it continues.

Morning folks, I wondered if any of you could help me understand something. I’m frantically applying for new jobs as my current is making me ill. I’ve found a great new role but it says this:

once you have 1 year's continuous service (15 weeks before the baby is due) you can take 26 weeks of paid maternity leave*, followed by a further 13 weeks at the statutory rate of pay.

Would this mean if I joined, I’d have to put off TTC for 1 year otherwise I’d get no maternity pay? X

@LK2610 yes you are right, you wouldn’t be able to get company maternity pay, but you you would still be eligible for statutory maternity pay if you had a baby before that service anniversary and you could try to apply for universal credit as well to help top it up dependant on your circumstances.

In theory though, you would need to have nearly 18 months of service as the baby would need to be a maximum of 24 weeks pregnant when you reach 1 year to get the company maternity pay.

Does that make sense?

@LK2610 have to say, I am really
not enjoying my job any more! I’ve been at the same company for 15 years but it’s way too stressful now I have a 3 year old at home and my priorities have changed. I am literally hanging on so I can get my maternity pay again as I feel like I’ve earnt it, and then I will look for another job when I return 😂

Easier said than done though as I really did think I would be well on my way towards my mat leave and I’m currently not able to get pregnant! 😥

God they alway make things so complicated! I think if full-term is 40 weeks (?) then you could be 25 weeks pregnant at a year of working there. So i am taking that to mean the cycle that you start trying should be 27 weeks after you start the job. Because your pregnancy technically starts on the first day of your last period.

Thanks @satsumaqueen I think I understand but I read it more like how @CoolSummer89 described it, probably because that’s how I want it to be 😂 they do make it complicated. I think I’d need to work out if we could survive on SMP cos I don’t think I can wait another year, given my age (I’d be 37 if I waited), I also can’t stay in my job either now. I found out yesterday that the promotion I’ve been working hard for all year that my manager promised has…disappeared!? And he’s promoted someone else in the team instead. I’m fuming and so done with giving that place so much of my mental and physical capacity. Sorry for the rant seriously feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach this morning. Sounds like you have a good plan @satsumaqueen I hope your BFP comes very soon! X

@Firsttimetrier congratulations 😍

Got my fingers crossed for you too @CadoAvo xx

That's so frustrating! I'd be angry too. I've been there and they promoted my best friend over me, that was when I realized I didn't matter to the company and started focusing on my own well being. I'm sure if you applied it doesn't hurt to clarify what it means when you interview either. Sometimes job descriptions are so confusing

@LK2610 the job thing and maternity leave is a real nightmare and a penalty on women tbh.

I want to move jobs but staying put as I’d rather the enhanced mat pay then have less stress returning to work and not going back into a newish job.

@Kirkikins ah that’s a nightmare, it must’ve made things tricky you. Yeah I’ll be focusing my energy on reducing stress now and performing at a more basic level.

Totally agree @Firsttimetrier it’s about weighing up the pros and cons. And also, I understand maybe having a short (3 months) probation and then being entitled to enhanced maternity benefits but most companies I’ve seen say 1 to 2 years. There’s only one company I’ve seen so far that said you’re entitled to maternity benefits from day 1. That’s what it takes to truly support women IMO, especially in terms of getting more women into senior roles which all companies seem to “care” about.

@Irish812 @LK2610 thank you, I've done another cheapie this morning and still a super faint line, hopefully see some more progress by the weekend 😬

That’s great news, keep us updated @CadoAvo ❤️

@LK2610 absolutely agree! This is probably a me thing, but I think I would feel so judged and worried they’ll try and oust me if I started somewhere pregnant or got pregnant shortly after starting. I’m basically stagnating my career to have our children whilst my husband flies up the ladder.

Lots of BFP this month - which is so exciting to see. Still think I’m out, BFN at 11DPO. Onto month 4 we go…!

I Wondered how many of you / your partners are taking the whole lifestyle side of TTC ‘seriously’ as in… no or limited alcohol etc it’s a fine line between just living your life to not being obsessed about every inch of your life 🤣🤣

Ive maybe had a couple of glasses of wine in the past 6 weeks - my husband however would probably have a few drinks at home 5/7 nights and I’ve asked him to cut down to just the weekend - do you think that sounds reasonable?

@PondwoodS I don't drink much at all anyway but have had the very occasional glass of wine. I've read somewhere that most male factor issues can be improved with better lifestyle choices. So if the male did have any issues with sperm, this could be improved with less alcohol, no smoking, better eating, exercise etc.

@PondwoodS I’ve been drinking whilst TTC, but a glass of wine here and there. I’ve moved to alcohol free gin, apart from that I’ve tried not to be too obsessed as I know it would just stress me out!

Congrats to all the BFPs! I still don’t know if I’m out this month, I’m 6DPO so will wait a few more days before testing. I’ve had mild cramping on my left side which is unusual for me. Then again I’ve been craving sugar which is normally a sign for AF for me. 🤞🏼🤞🏼

@PondwoodS Husband started having smoothies (some) mornings when we started TTC and that was about it. He likes to watch football and drinks when watching that. He keeps saying when football season is over he will cut down, but football never seems to end. Luckily he is not an England fan, so at least we have the Euros off! Whenever I say anything he gets very defensive, I think my point is that it takes 3 months to have an effect on sperm, so he can't just take a break for a month and expect quality to improve.

There was a bit of a spanner in the works a couple of weeks ago when we found out that an op he had as a child could basically halve his fertility, so he has been on his best behaviour. Not sure how long it will last because like all of us it's easy to be strict at the start of a diet or something, and then life gets in the way.

Because we now might have fertility problems (still waiting to be referred for sperm analysis by GP) I have been looking up the guidelines for IVF in our area and they say this:
Limit your alcohol intake Women should drink no more than 1-2 units of alcohol once or twice per week. Men should stick to a daily limit of 3-4 units.

Thanks @CadoAvo @CoolSummer89 @PermanentlyTired03

My husband also gets a bit defensive when I suggest he works on cutting down - he is also a light smoker. I did the Hertility test and mine all came back within range - so I just pointed out to him, it could be his side which is not as good as it was when we conceived our son 2.5years ago - think he seems it as a blame game but my logic is that if we both make some lifestyle changes - then it may just help ! Think men just don’t get it though and are far more laid back about it all ‘ it will happen when it happens’ 🤦🏼‍♀️

Congratulations @Firsttimetrier and looks promising @CadoAvo 🤞🏻

I've been trying to live as normally as possible, I don't drink half as much I did first time round as still BF DC1 at night!

DH doesn't drink as much either but still does have a few drinks on the weekend and also with the football @CoolSummer89. I've not broatched the subject with him yet about cutting further but so also think about the sperm is from longer ago so can't just change over night.

My main thing is caffeine! I restrict intake anyways as I BF still but I feel guilty about that, anyone else fully cut it out?? I have one max two coffees a day.

Currently waiting ovulation, will see the OPKs out but to be honest it's stressing me out more than it's worth.

Congratulations to all with a BFP.
I’m officially out this month as AF has arrived this afternoon. I’m going to be having a break next month as well as it’s getting a bit much for me and the due date would be around the time of my DS birthday, so it seems like the perfect time to do it.

Im going to be trying to attempt a conversation with my husband tonight about his drinking. He doesn’t drink a huge amount but he drinks a lot more now than he did when we got pregnant in 2020 (he would have maybe 1 a month, now he has a few a week). I’m not looking forward to it, but I feel like I am doing everything I can like eating well, exercising, taking vitamins for months now, I don’t drink at all and never smoked. He isn’t doing any of that at the minute (apart from not smoking as he never has either), so I feel like he needs to play his part, although by reading the above, it seems like anything he does won’t really have a impact for another 3 months and that just depresses me even more as I really don’t want to wait that long!

Hi everyone,

I had two miscarriages in June 24 and August 24. We’ve been TTC since then and on 25th of April I had positive pregnancy test.

Since having my miscarriages I’ve had this staffing pain on the right side of my pelvis which comes and goes. Since Saturday this has become more constant and more painful. It feels similar to the pains I had before both of my early pregnancy losses.

last year a midwife said I have a cyst in my right ovary. The other Day I went to my gp to ask if the cyst could have caused the miscarriage and she said it is unlikely. Has anyone had similar pain or a cyst before?

I’d love to hear from you if so!

Oh cadAvo I really hope the next one is positive!! @CadoAvo
I read last week that the strips are really good so I’ll always use those first now. But it is just gives reassurance to do a Clearblu

@PondwoodS i drink a couple of times a month and I’d say my partner drinks 3-4 nights out 14 days he’s home from work. I’m limiting myself to a coffee every couple of days and in between I’m just having a few cups of tea as the caffeine worries me. But I’m maybe overthinking it