CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #3

[Ladyinpink1]

I went to reply and you were right, the thread was full so I couldnt post a link to a new thread, also, because it's a new thread it wont give me a prediction to tag when I type a name, so I have just copied and paste the names off of everyone who posted on the very last page of the thread, I hope anyone else can find it OK. Sorry, maybe there is an easier better way... if anyone else can remember extra names and spellings, please tag 🙂

@samilicious

@Wise0wl

@ThelastRolo20

@13lucy

@Bugdem123

@HerbaceousPerennial

@jellyfish2 she turned 2 in January but I was hoping for a less than 3 year age gap. Now I'm hoping for under 4 years! It all seems so far away when you aren't yet pregnant (or in my case even trying). She loves babies which is hard, I know she'd absolutely love a sibling

@UrsulaSings123 it's so hard not to isn't it! When you find that switch please let us know lol. I asked my husband how he copes with this bit and his response was "I just don't think about it" ....HOW?! I think I'm going to wait until Monday or Tuesday before I test, that would 10 or 11 DPO I think

@jellyfish2 thank you 🩷 I hope your next cycle is the one for you too. How are you feeling today?

@Bugdem123 everything crossed this is your cycle! 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Really glad things have sorted for you again @ThelastRolo20 it's such a pain when you think it's over but it's not . @UrsulaSings123 Sometimes it's lovely just to be able to spend the bank holidays with no plans and have some relaxation time, dh and I love doing that and it will be good for your eggs too, nice relaxed "welcoming to sperm" eggs 😊) oh yes sunglasses sound good guys @ThelastRolo20 . it reminds me of a funny picture i found before, i will attach it here x

I'm so very sorry @jellyfish2 that was so confusing for you. It really looked positive too because it had alot of colour in the line, how are you feeling today? Maybe when you get your next bfp you can mention this as well as a reason for extra scans and progesterone if it was something you wanted. I know what you mean, we waited to ttc for the perfect age gap (obviously regret that now) x

Oh no, I'm so so sorry @GoldDustWoman90 it's just so awful 💜 xx

I am so, so sorry @GoldDustWoman90 ❤️

@ThelastRolo20 I'll be 9dpo. Thank you. I'm feeling 2% hopeful and 98% anxious. My periods were regular before my MC so even if it doesn't happen this cycle, I'm just really hoping it will be a 'normal' period at the expected time.

@Bugdem123 yes that's my partners way of dealing with it too. I honestly don't know how they just don't think about it. I thought maybe it's because they're not the one doing the OPKs and tests and stuff so they're not as physically 'involved' (although obviously play a big part 😂) and so don't think 'oh I need to remember to do that test on x' which then leads to other thoughts. I don't know 🤷‍♀️ And that sounds like a good idea to wait for 10 or 11dpo. I never thought I'd be doing tests at 7dpo 🙄

@Ladyinpink1 haha I like that picture you posted 😂We are going out Saturday evening so I'll probably totally knacker myself out anyway! I don't drink when I go out, but just having such a late night seems to take a couple days to get over now. Hope you have a lovely weekend.

Well I did a test and it was negative. I know what people mean by line eyes now, never used to understand what they meant but after squinting at a preg test for ages you start to think there might be something just for it to vanish again.

Are most women like this when ttc or are some of the people on mumsnet (myself included!) just a special breed of crazy? My step mum said the advice used to be to wait until you'd missed 2 periods then you'd go to the GP and they'd confirm if you were pregnant, and now people can know at 3+ weeks. I'm glad I have the option to find out, but if I'm honest I'm not sure what would be worse for my mental health!

@UrsulaSings123 if you're 9DPO it's still really early for a test, I've only ever gotten a squinter at 10DPO, I have wonderful line eyes so feel free to post if you want another view 😂🕵🏻

@UrsulaSings123 I'm sorry it was negative but 9DPO is still realllly early so you're not out yet!

My mum told me the same thing. I'm definitely crazy when it comes to testing and testing early. I know it's going to upset me if it's negative but I literally can't stop myself from testing just in case it's positive.

I also know I said I wasn't going to symptom spot but my boobs and lower back are killing me so even though they are my usual PMS symptoms I'm fully convinced it's because I'm pregnant 😂🤡. The delusion is ridiculous.

@Bugdem123 I'll be the exact same in May when I'm finally in a TWW 😂 you're resting Monday? I find the days leading up to a test day drag the most!

@Bugdem123 I meant testing but I hope you'll be resting too 😂😂

@ThelastRolo20 I will be testing and resting 😂😂

@ThelastRolo20 thank you that reassures me a bit! Honestly there is nothing to see there at the moment. I'm not quite at the point of taking the test apart - another thing I've seen on mn that at the time I thought blimey, but would not put it past me to be doing this in a couple of months!

@Bugdem123 yeah my boobs have been having this sort of 'let down' feeling in them that I've only had when I've been pregnant (successful and not), but they also are really soft and not painful at all which isn't like my successful pregnancy. It's just so hard to stop when the option is there.

I'm actually considering just throwing away all preg tests. I never used to be this obsessed with it. I think maybe it's because my partner is 51 next week I'm really feeling the pressure. This is going to sound so morbid, but I'm just being honest about my worst thoughts, and I worry that he will die when the kids are young (less than 20) and they will be traumatised by it. I know people can die at any time, but obviously it gets more likely the older you get. I've been getting so frustrated with him when he eats rubbish because I'm actually really scared of it and want him to be as healthy as possible. Hmmmm... maybe I should see a counsellor 😂

@ThelastRolo20 I keep meaning to ask where you're going on holiday? Is it for 2 weeks?

@Bugdem123 are you doing anything this weekend to distract you before testing on Mon?

@UrsulaSings123 my boobs are always tender at this point in my cycle but it doesn't stop me convincing myself every month that it means I'm DEFINITELY pregnant this month 🫠.

I actually do have lots of plans this weekend - eyebrows and shopping today, a family meal tomorrow and then a comedy show on Sunday! I really want to try and wait until Tuesday/Wednesday as I know it'll be more definitive but I also know I'll be testing on Sunday morning 😂.

I really recommend counselling if you can organise it. I had to find a private one as there's nothing available on the NHS for pregnancy loss but I've found it really helpful so far. I can't relate to your exact fear but I have became really worried about people dying and grief generally and I think it's actually really common after a big loss like we've had.

@UrsulaSings123 just realised I didn't ask what you've got planned to take your mind off it?

@UrsulaSings123 only going away for one week, you'd think with the amount I've been banging on about it I'd be going somewhere very exotic but it's Lanzarote - proper Brits abroad 😄

@UrsulaSings123 I’d second @Bugdem123‘s recommendation for specialist counselling if you think it might help, I’ve found it massively helpful and I ended up covering a lot of stuff which originally I didn’t think was related to my miscarriage and fertility worries. It’s been so useful at helping me to cope. I got into a very dark place and wish I’d started it earlier if I’m honest

TW: pregnancy update
So I had my scan this morning - all good, measuring 7 weeks 2 days and a strong heartbeat. Honestly I was really shocked but so, so relieved. Might finally start believing this could work out now!

Keeping my fingers crossed for everyone here that you get your BFP soon

@Bugdem123 God I totally didn't realise until you said that, that my fear of my partner dying has really got a lot more since the MC. It's always been something I was aware of but I didn't think about it/fear it anywhere near as much as I have done over the last month or so. In fact we even had couples counselling Dec 2022 because I wanted another child and he was proper on the fence because of the very same worry about his age, and even then I wasn't that worried about it. I totally hadn't matched it up at all to the MC. Sounds like you have a lovely weekend planned. We are going out tomorrow evening to a music thing and out for Sunday dinner on Sun with my mum and then seeing my partners mum on Mon. Good luck for whenever you decide to test!

@ThelastRolo20 I love looking forward to a holiday! Sounds really nice bet its lovely and warm - a nice start to the spring/summer season!

I've been so busy today I haven't had much time to think but now I've stopped I feel really sad again 😥I don't think I acknowledged it this morning but I'm actually really sad about the negative test, and I feel this horrible deep desperation to be pregnant. I actually was really hoping I'd get pregnant straight away and then I wouldn't have to feel the horrible feelings about not being pregnant.

When I had my surgical management they said they were going to send the remains to the baby cemetery and they would send us an invitation to the memorial /burial/blessing service. I'm totally dreading receiving this letter. I don't really want to go but I feel guilty about not going.

Sorry for my seriously long messages by the way. Once I get going it's hard to stop 😂 it's quite cathartic to type things out.

@UrsulaSings123 sounds like you have a lovely few days coming up ❤️

Negative tests are really hard to see so completely normal to feel a bit crap about it, although I still say you're too early to test 🤞🏻🤞🏻

@jellyfish2 fingers crossed you're not waiting too long 🤞🏻 I try my best not to think about it, so hard when you get a reminder though or a big milestone happens, like signing up to preschool, worrying everyone else will have siblings apart from her :( oh well, she has the dog who she loves to play / dress up until then 😂

@Confusedandtired90 crazy how much things like that alter our hormonal balance. TTC after loss definitely increases symptom watching, that's why I try and distance myself from the dates. Therapy helped me loads with that kind of stuff too, just focusing on enjoying life instead of what is coming next

@UrsulaSings123 smep is apparently what drs recommend but I don't know about you, I've never actually caught DTD even that often 😅 I've only ever been pregnant when DTD once or twice that month. Not sure how it makes sense but trying for years and they're the only times for me

@GoldDustWoman90 I'm so so sorry 😢

@Bugdem123 that's crazy! Mine has fully switched, so weird. I used to like having an 'AF welcome committee buffet' 😂 and properly lay out a lil party buffet plate. Made me feel better about her visit

@ThelastRolo20 yay another member of the non tracker club ♥️ maybe that's the way forward, supporting each other in avoiding tracking / just making the most of life

@HerbaceousPerennial bloomin lovely news! Must be hard to get used to, but maybe a good thing to protect your brain a lil bit while you wait for the weeks to pass and it feels real. Long may the good news continue ♥️

Negative again today. Definitely out this month. Don't feel pregnant at all. My boobs are always the first thing and they're totally normal and not even the faintest of faint lines on a frer at 10dpo.

Nevermind. Launching into another busy day so probably won't think about it again until later on. Onto the next month. Just hope my period is normal as it'll be first one post MC, and reassuring myself that we were told not to try this month anyway so it's not like I've lost anything really.

Hope you all have a good day.

@UrsulaSings123 always disappointing when it's negative but as you say first cycle post miscarriage so it's never a bad thing to let it all settle, I think it's taken me a couple cycles to get back to normal.

Hope you have a few nice days planned. When is AF due? X