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When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

2024 TTC 35+ Part 1

1000 replies

VixFromThe6ix · 01/01/2024 17:29

New year, new thread!!!

Positive thoughts and baby dust for everyone this year!!!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Lalaland13 · 01/02/2024 13:54

I do think in some cases you really need to push your doctor to investigate things, not just fertility but in general. It must be hard for them to look at everything and i guess we aren’t robots and each person is very different, luck of the draw indeed! Had a great aunt who has a very bad cough for a long time, was bascially asking to be tested for cancer … wasn’t until it was far too late. She died very rapidly, she was a heavy smoker and happened a while ago. But her family were so distraught 😫

Eugh my line is so faint today @RoseH36 didn’t test for a couple of days! Have drank a fair bit but assumed as however many days now would be much darker even if I’ve been guzzling fruit tea.

worldwidetravel2017 · 01/02/2024 14:05

Sending lotsa luck to you @Lalaland13

Lifes simple pleasues - ive owned a ring door bell 4 years - today - my partner finally put it up :)

Lalaland13 · 01/02/2024 14:09

Haha sounds like my husband @worldwidetravel2017 !! He never gets on with the jobs I want him to!

worldwidetravel2017 · 01/02/2024 14:11

In partners defence - i only semi moved in since last aug but yea

Pretty sure my partner has adhd / executive dysfunction issues but hes generally ace

Lalaland13 · 01/02/2024 14:27

Awh bless - haha my husband has no defence ! He is just a pain at getting on with things but he is very busy!

RoseH36 · 01/02/2024 15:35

@Lalaland13 is it possible your levels are too high for the test to be effective? I've read a lot about that lately and that once your levels get to a certain point the lines can appear fainter as the tests basically can't cope with the amount of HCG.

Lalaland13 · 01/02/2024 18:28

Honestly no idea @RoseH36 ! My wee just seems super diluted today!

RoseH36 · 01/02/2024 18:31

@Lalaland13 hopefully it's nothing and will darken again, will keep everything crossed for you.

Bumblebee413 · 01/02/2024 19:09

Keeping fingers crossed for you @Lalaland13 .

So lovely to hear from you @VixFromThe6ix, I’m really glad it’s all going well- 21 weeks!! It’s so funny the way time goes. When you’re desperately waiting or hoping for something it feels like you’re stuck in mud whilst everything else races in around you- especially if you don’t feel like you know for certain that you’re ever going to get the thing that you want. Then fast forward to now and your little boy is getting so close so quickly! ♥️

@worldwidetravel2017 I hear what you’re saying. Everything you and your friends have experienced will naturally make you super keen to test, explore and advocate for yourselves. I think sometimes I may have too much faith in the NHS system because I love it so much.

I am also very suspicious of pretty much every company that you pay to receive medical services or tests. I acknowledge that that is inherently unfair, but they are essentially working on a model where you as the customer have a concern or worry, otherwise you wouldn’t be approaching them. Immediately that puts you in a more vulnerable position as a customer. They also have the disclaimer that they aren’t giving medical advice. Quite frankly they don’t have much of a duty of care to you if they find anything wrong and essentially their business model is to make money. You buy more tests, they make more money.

I’ve seen firsthand through and read about private scan companies (as an example) who have treated women who experience loss or receive an unexpected poor diagnosis with very little care and cause a lot of pain, or have no training or plans in place for referral when it’s needed. I’ve seen cord blood collection companies insist that couples pay thousands of pounds when they’ve collected a very small, poor sample of cord blood, aren’t meeting Human Tissue Authority standards when it comes to testing and storage and have no back up plan for those cryogenically frozen samples if they go into administration in the future.

You only have to do a quick Google to find damning reports on IVF clinics pushing more expensive treatments with little to no proven clinical benefit. Yet there are good, sound, ethical examples of all of the above. It’s just so hard when you are the person trying to do everything you possibly can to minimise any pain of future loss, especially when you’ve experienced it before and especially when it’s your health at stake. It’s all just so hard and I just hate that companies can take advantage of us when we are so vulnerable in this way when we’re just trying so hard to crack this fertility/ baby brewing puzzle.

I’m sorry, that was such a random rant. It’s been an emotional day.

Went for my appt today and my colleague thought I was there for infertility. She had a look at my cervix and said it was healthy and just had some ectropian areas. I think I spent about 45 minutes sobbing afterwards. The GP had had such a worried face when she examined me and then the appt came through so quickly when I know how busy our gynae service is I assumed I had been put on the two week cancer wait. Then when they gave me an appt on the 10th when the Tuesday one was cancelled then called back and said to come in today I thought it must be really bad. The treatment may have meant that the baby wouldn’t have been likely to survive so I’ve been trying not to think about that and I think I was more worried than I realised. I can’t tell you what a relief it is to ‘just’ go back to normal ‘can we make it past the 12 week scan?’ worrying 😂

Lalaland13 · 01/02/2024 19:49

So pleased to hear it’s all okay @Bumblebee413 and does sound like you were a bit worried. What a relief I bet! Have some chocolate to celebrate tonight! X

SnookyPook · 01/02/2024 22:02

@Bumblebee413 that's great news - totally get why you were freaked out! So glad you're ok.

@Lalaland13 hope all is ok.

VixFromThe6ix · 01/02/2024 22:46

@Bumblebee413 yay so glad everything is OK. And fingers crossed all will be good going forward too!

As for the trust your doctor bit... I see it both ways. I'm not a specialist so I trust they know what they are doing, but I also ask a lot of questions and that can either lead to additional tests or to peace of mind.
I find doctors in Canada rush through patients and it's easy to miss something. Sometimes you do have to be persistent to get things done.

OP posts:
Mrsspoon3 · 01/02/2024 23:12

RoseH36 · 01/02/2024 08:11

I don't want to upset or offend anyone but I think we need to remember that we aren't doctors and that the tests we are referred for will be based on our individual medical history. I know my GP wouldn't appreciate it if I went in with a list of things I wanted them to test. I don't know what bloods i had done last year but they took 7 vials in all so I know it was thorough and I trust that what I was tested for was right for me.

There are unfortunately hundreds of reasons why we're all going through this journey and it's different for everyone. Sometimes there isn't even a medical reason behind it.

I just think each of us should trust in the care we're being offered.

I agree with this @RoseH36, particularly in cases where there’s only been one miscarriage and it’s been early on. NOT because that makes it any less upsetting or significant, but just because it’s likely that it’s not for any medical reason as in the vast majority of cases it’s “just” due to a chromosome thing and is unlikely to keep happening, and it can just add unnecessary stress to go searching for the reason and testing every possible hormone and vitamin level etc, when there are hundreds of things that could be tested once you start down that route.

I say that from experience, as I completely went down a rabbit hole of looking into absolutely everything following my first 2 chemical pregnancies and convincing myself I had this and that wrong with me, or my level of whatever hormone was wrong, only to then have a full term pregnancy with my little boy and to realise it probably was just a chromosome issue with the first 2, which is what I was told by medical professionals and it said everywhere online was most likely the case.

Just my thoughts for what they’re worth, as I know it really affected me mentally and my stress levels trying to desperately narrow down the cause, and actually the stress probably affected my fertility more than anything! x

Lalaland13 · 02/02/2024 07:32

Fairly concentrated wee and there is the faintest of faint lines! So I guess after extensive googling (!) it must be a chemical and should have some bleeding soon.

Such a shame and had felt October was a good time to have a baby - still probably clinging on to some hope until bleeding but trying not to and I think will end up testing more later on… just to really drive myself mad!

CurlyWurly1991 · 02/02/2024 07:43

Sorry to hear that @Lalaland13 i know it is so hard when you start looking at the birth date and tentatively making plans… hopefully the next cycle will be yours xx

I had lots of signs of ovulation over the past few days but no temp rise so need to keep waiting. Probably not surprising that my first cycle after MMC is a bit wonky, my cycles are wonky anyway. It’s been a busy and stressful work week and sometimes I think that is a big factor but it’s very hard to do anything about it.

CurlyWurly1991 · 02/02/2024 07:50

@Mrsspoon3 I agree, everything I’ve read says that chromosomal abnormalities are by far the most likely cause of miscarriages. Especially those at a more advanced stage (after 5/6 weeks). Unfortunately there is a lot in life that we wish we could control and we cannot. Our bodies are very clever and know what to do, to keep us healthy and produce the healthiest baby possible.
like you I feel stress is a factor with efforts to TTC. I am going to swim, sauna and steam today! Something I wanted to do when pregnant but couldn’t. Hope you are doing Ok too xx

Lalaland13 · 02/02/2024 08:15

I think stress does impact cycles and there is just so much stress TTC and working, like you say you can’t really control it! I’ve had a tough work week and it’s my day off today but I may need to log on. So annoying, work in finance and the deadlines don’t care if you’re part time!

When tracking your temp is fhe BD time after the temp rise? I never fully got that my Apple Watch now tracks temp and it’s always been a bit higher than baseline but the baseline was set when I guess I was a few days preg?! So maybe I need to get it to reset baseline soon hmmmm … all the gear no idea 😂😂

JC084 · 02/02/2024 11:07

Hi ladies, how is everyone?
8dpo today and am away for the weekend to continue my birthday celebrations, so thought I'd better test. I think I see the faintest of faint lines. I mean, I'm not even sure it's there but I'll test again tomorrow and see what happens. Could I really have conceived 4 times in 6 months? Have more tests on order and will have to see what happens in the morning 🤞🏼

RoseH36 · 02/02/2024 13:12

@Lalaland13 oh I hope it's not 😢 I haven't tested since Tuesday, that's a record for me.

@Mrsspoon3 that's the thing, it can be so easy to tell yourself there must be something wrong when there may not be so the extra stress of those type of thoughts isn't helping in the slightest. I was like you too and also convinced there must be something wrong yet all my tests came back fine. We never got as far as testing DH sperm so always an option but praying this one sticks then we won't need to do that. Since all the tests came back clear I've been a lot more relaxed, probably the most relaxed I've been on this journey 😅

@CurlyWurly1991 that's the other thing about it, there's not much at all we can control in all this so trying not to stress will help. Hope you get a temp rise soon!

@JC084 fingers crossed for you. You're clearly very fertile if you are so at least that's a huge positive to focus on.

JC084 · 02/02/2024 15:58

@RoseH36 thank you! Not getting hopes up at all, but I'll see what happens over the next few days.
If I do get a positive before going for tests in March I have been told to call them directly at the hospital - so will test again tomorrow and see x

Lalaland13 · 02/02/2024 16:38

Well done on not obsessively testing @RoseH36 ! Obviously am sad but no bleeding and it’s all so confusing but I just got in after a long hold and tested and it’s just so negative … 😢 I guess the plus side is, if it isn’t going to work out I would rather that was early than late! I wish I had kept my tests in an order to see what happened… I’ve ordered more one step! 😂😂 I’ve done so many the last week.

RoseH36 · 02/02/2024 17:05

@JC084 that sounds reassuring, hopefully means they'll get you in sooner for tests if you are.

@Lalaland13 I'm so sorry to hear that, was really hoping for the best for you. With my last CP I didn't have any bleeding start until 10 days after I had a negative. With the first CP I'm not sure when it went negative as I never tested again after getting a positive but the bleeding started 10 days after that so I'm guessing i went negative soon after. The One Steps are good though aren't they? And so cheap!

JC084 · 02/02/2024 17:07

@Lalaland13 I'm sorry to hear. I hope you're ok.

Lalaland13 · 02/02/2024 18:25

Oh I was going to ask about this @RoseH36 - wasnt sure when would bleed but I guess may be a few days yet. I still feel a bit pregnant and sicky but I’ve been getting a sick feeling before periods lately.

i am okay thank you @JC084 obviously disappointed but sort of rather this happen super early than further along?! Trying to think of positives!

JC084 · 02/02/2024 20:34

New tests arrived this eve and I couldn't resist and did one ... I have a line. Am 8 dpo.
So nervous.

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