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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Trying for second baby long time, anyone else in the same boat?

181 replies

Anies · 16/03/2008 21:30

Hi,
we have been trying for our second bay for over a year and a half, once again great disappointment tonight...Wondering, is there anyone else in the same situation who would like to share this? I am currently having acupuncture and herbs, they are making me feel much better in myself, also will have second NHS appointment with specialist on Tuesday to discuss options. Just thinking about embarking on assisted methods...Anyone else going through this? It canbe very lonely...

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flowerfairy · 27/03/2008 16:36

oops sorry, laptop playing up

flowerfairy · 27/03/2008 16:36

oops sorry, laptop playing up

mistlethrush · 27/03/2008 22:42

FF there is 'unburdening' and there is overload!!! What has happened to your laptop!

iwillbepositive · 28/03/2008 09:47

Thanks maximum74 for your help and also for a positive tale! That's interesting about being coeliac - did you have any symptoms apart from losing weight? Tbh I can't really say I have, apart from feeling tired a lot of the time and maybe a bit livelier if I cut down on bread, pasta etc. I certainly haven't lost any weight! Maybe still worth a trip to the GP. I do feel every avenue should be exhausted before/if we go down the assisted route.

Welcome FF - feel free to unburden! The "should be getting on with it" comments get to me too . A 'friend' said something along the lines of "She so needs a sibling - you'd better get on with it" when dd was having a tantrum a while ago. It made me even more paranoid about spoilt only child behaviour - when actually in my saner moments I can see she is pretty well behaved and just has the odd nightmare phase (as they all do...).

Original poster
Anies · 28/03/2008 10:06

We need to think of a great one-liner to respond to those who think that they can tell us how to run our lives, or that they can get into our bedroom!!! Any ideas? I had people lecturing me on the age gap etc.

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billysitch · 28/03/2008 11:00

Morning all, quite familiar these eh!

We have no family with 5 hours, I was 37 in January and ds was 3, hubby is 41, ds birth was very very traumatic, basically I broke waters on Monday and gave birth Thursday afternoon, think I got forgotton about and we didnt know any different then so just got on with it on our own. Consequently ds was born very poorly and we spent our first 10 days in hospital. But at least he lived, thank god.
Our first 18 months were hell, no support, ds was poorly with head problems for a lot of this the stress didnt help me, had depression, thinking back it really scares me to think about it but somehow I found mumsnet and netmums and my life was turned around by helpful advice and local ladies who really helped me.
We have been trying a year now, I am a SAHM but there will be 4 years even if we concieve now between our children and the pressure from family, and a very NOSEY neighbour really does not help. We have an active sex life aswell. So in the same boat as most of you too.
Hey ho!
I am pretty chilled now, have got back into Yoga and meditation and have a bit more time to myself now ds is at preschool, so all in all have ABSOLUTELY nothing to grumble about, apart from . . .

Thinking good thoughts xx

flowerfairy · 28/03/2008 17:06

oops didn't quite realise the laptop had gone that mad!!!!

Sorry didn't mean to emphasise the point too much.

Determined to be positive this month and not put pressure on yself and dh, which always ends in disappointment when af arrives

mistlethrush · 28/03/2008 19:53

Anies I find the line 'well, if I hadn't had the two mc, he would have had at least one sibling by now' usually does the trick. It also shuts up people that start complaining about 'two under two' etc!

Original poster
Anies · 29/03/2008 14:06

Yeah, good one Mistlethrush, a friend of mine told her mother 'do you want to know how often we do it then?' That did the trick too. It is surely ignorance if people are not discreet or emotionally in touch really to think they can lecture you!

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Blessed2 · 29/03/2008 15:39

Hi. Just a quick nip in from TTC over 40 thread. I'm trying for my second. I started trying for my second when I was 36/37. But I came on this thread to tell pincushion that Amazon sell the CB monitors brand new for £59.99 with free postage. Also I now buy my cb test sticks from ebay usa because you get more and can work out a lot cheaper but make sure you really check out the sellers feedback.

Blessed2 · 30/03/2008 18:51

I can't believe I killed a thread that everyone wanted to keep going

flowerfairy · 30/03/2008 19:13

Had a tough day yesterday as was clearing out the loft and all of ds baby things are up there. Dh kept saying i looked and asking what was up, but i think labouring th e point to him is not particularly helpful either. HAve to keep being positive as sister is borrowing some stuff from me, so keep saying to ds will you let aunty's baby borrow items. also sister lives close by and see regularly, at least she doesn't seem to be moaning about pg symptoms so much atm. I get really annoyed with myself when i get on this track as know am just feeling sorry for self. Must be positive, must be positive has to be new mantra.

I think we will all be back at some point. Maybe everybody is bd, good wishes to all.

flowerfairy · 30/03/2008 20:04

Had a tough day yesterday as was clearing out the loft and all of ds baby things are up there. Dh kept saying i looked and asking what was up, but i think labouring th e point to him is not particularly helpful either. HAve to keep being positive as sister is borrowing some stuff from me, so keep saying to ds will you let aunty's baby borrow items. also sister lives close by and see regularly, at least she doesn't seem to be moaning about pg symptoms so much atm. I get really annoyed with myself when i get on this track as know am just feeling sorry for self. Must be positive, must be positive has to be new mantra.

I think we will all be back at some point. Maybe everybody is bd, good wishes to all.

flowerfairy · 30/03/2008 20:05

oh ffs what is going on with this samned laptop

mistlethrush · 30/03/2008 23:17

FF - very glad that I've not got anyone 'close' enough to have to 'lend' them baby stuff. Don't know what I'd do. There will come a time when I will have to bite the bullet and get rid of it, but not going to yet. You never know.

cedar12 · 31/03/2008 11:52

hi everyone. Feeling good at the moment I have been prescribed clomid 50mg to start next month. Also next month should be ovulating from my side with the tube so really got to go for it. My consultant was really positive got lots of thing on my side my age just having one tube is the main problem. My cycle has finally got back to normal after the ivf I took agnus catus. Also joined the gym! Need to loose a bit of weight and tone up before June as we are planning a holiday some where hot and sunny. Not booked anywhere yet as it would be sods law I get pg. My 1st ectopic happened when we were on holiday(in this country thankfullly) and last year we had to cancel a skiing holiday as 2 day before I ended up back in hospital with another ectopic. Dd was really upset so going to do it at the last moment this time.
Ff also my job this week to sort out baby stuff have been putting it off for ages.

cedar12 · 31/03/2008 14:48

wheres everyone today? Just had a quick read of the thread was wondering if cb fertility monitor was easier better to use than ov tests. I Still havent cleared up the loft! but I have bought some storage bags. I cant bring my self to get rid of much, Like Mistlethrush said you neverknow. Do baby clothes go out of fashion? dds almost 5 now

mistlethrush · 31/03/2008 22:07

No, I don't think baby clothes go out of fashion - particularly if you didn't buy anything 'fashionable' in the first place.

I have a feeling that I will not be able to be prescribed clomid due to previous mp problems. It reduces the options somewhat.

Sakura · 01/04/2008 01:23

DD is 18 months and my period still hasnt returned and I know Im not ovulating because I feel it when I do. Its starting to niggle at me now,
BUT I just wanted to add a happy story. A good friend of mine had her first baby at 26, then wasn`T able to conceive after that for another 4 years. She finally conceived but then miscarried the baby a few months later. SHe got pregnant again a few months later with her second child...she now has 6 children!

Original poster
Anies · 01/04/2008 03:30

Another late night, or early morning, it seems to happen the night before I have to go to work..

I am still waiting for my appointment to discuss options, so clomid might well be something I will be having in a few months. I am a bit weary of these medical interventions, especially when my cycle is working well on its own. But there comes a time when you realise that it might not just happen on its own.

Sakura, that is a remarkable story and we need positive ones. You know what, I wonder if anyone of the contributors to this thread has become pregnant in the meantime- please, we need positive stories.

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cedar12 · 01/04/2008 11:55

Thanks for the reassurance Mistlethrush, Although I think I need to be a bit roofless my loft is jam packed full I havent really thrown anything away. Hopefully might need them soon though.
Anies I felt exactly like you about the clomid and so did my dr. But a year later I just feel what the hell. I am sure all the drugs I took for the ivf really messed up everything for ages only getting back to normal 9 months on and thats with the help of some herbal tablet. So a bit worried they might muck it up again. But only option really at the mo as not sure if we could afford ivf again my mum very kindly helped last time.
Sakura its nice to hear some positive stories let hope we start getting some bfp soon on this thread.

cedar12 · 01/04/2008 11:58

Anies I hope you get a better nights sleep tonight. I mostly work late shift at the moment but when I use to do early I was exactly the same it horrid isnt it. Any way must go and get ready for work I am going to be late!

mistlethrush · 01/04/2008 21:21

Anies I'm going to accupuncture to help and it definitely does help - usually have a good series of nights after I go which wears off gradually. I was suffering with waking up in the early hours and then ending up getting up and doing things for at least an hour or two, if not for the rest of the night. Not great when you just feel like going back to bed when ds wakes up full of beans at 6ish.

queenofpuddings · 01/04/2008 21:53

hi there just read some of this thread, haven't had time to read all.

we have just had miscarriage at 10 weeks so are trying to conceive again.

we have 1 dd who is 2.3 and this pregnancy was conceived quickly but miscarried at 10 weeks.

the reason i write this is that we fell pregnant just before the fertile time when i was about to ovulate and bonked like mad.

tmi here, but you know sometimes you get a egg white like discharge this is just before you ovulate so if your periods are irregular it doesn't matter as long as you know that this is the sign. this is when we conceived

people may already know this but i thought the tip might help those who are ttc

Original poster
Anies · 02/04/2008 02:20

Hi,

oh, still awake, this is turning into the 'I cannot sleep' thread...Anyway, nice to feel one is not alone in the wilderness of the night- actually getting up helps with the endless stressful thinking- how can you escape yourself??

Hi queen... sorry to hear of the mc, hope you are feeling better. It is true what you say about the 'egg white' discharge. I became aware of it reading the Zita West book and it is all about becoming familiar with your own body. In fact, this month ovulation for me has been painful- last night one of the reasons I was up was because I had pain in my left ovary and my back- and in the morning there was a bit of bleeding- sorry tmi, but I couldn't find acronyms for all these symptoms, and at the end of the day this is what is happening to our bodies, let's say ti as it is.

Anyway, do other people have this with ovulation? Is it a good sign or a bad one or it does not matter?

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