Trying for second baby long time, anyone else in the same boat?

[Anies]

Hi,
we have been trying for our second bay for over a year and a half, once again great disappointment tonight...Wondering, is there anyone else in the same situation who would like to share this? I am currently having acupuncture and herbs, they are making me feel much better in myself, also will have second NHS appointment with specialist on Tuesday to discuss options. Just thinking about embarking on assisted methods...Anyone else going through this? It canbe very lonely...

I have just moved form teaching pre reg nurses to post reg. Mainly I teach things like mentoring, reflective practice, assessment - I can perhaps hear you groaning!! Am supposed to be makring just now and sadly have foudn MN to completely distract me!! i was an A+E nurse - what about you?

I work in elderly care. I have just booked on to a mentorship in the summer. You will have to give me some tips

Lucky you....

This is spooky, as I am too lecturing a similar profession, don't want to give too much away, a bit paranoid about anonymity, but what are the chances of that??? Does it mean that our jobs are particularly stressful? It sure feels like it.

Had NHS treatment, will be referred to IVF centre locally. We want to have the initial consultation, it is good for us to feel that we are moving towards something, otherwise it becomes so overwhelming. I agree with whoever said about the poor morphology, they said the same thing to us too, there are enoughthere etc. but it must have some effect. However, I do not want to stress it too much to hubbie to make him feel as if it is his fault, which we have been told it isn't.

We are thinking that we will explore all options, but are very positive re: acupuncture, as it is a holistic approach, I have seen results already and it also offers us support. It is working with my body, instead of against it, as the hormonal medications etc. will be doing. Then again, we will go down different avenues, need to try all we can.

Once again was told about age, I tend to think that age is a relative thing, what do you think? You can be 39 and very fit etc. and 30 and not looking after yourself. I guess it relates to egg quality, but stil...

Spooky ooky - however if we are all nursey types then it is in our nature to be open and splurge out our feelings!
I am not sure if my actual job is stressful its more the dropping dd off at 0715hrs, working all day collecting her by 1800hrs, cleaning, feeding, ironing and my husband works away monday to friday (comes home on weds for midweek jiggy!) and then trying to focus on dd and dh at weekends as well as do marking and a PGCert - am I mad !!! no wonder my body says you have too much going on to get up the duff.... My MIL cant understand why I dont give up work and be a wife - I tell her I need a "wife" and then i would be ok!! i dont know about anyone else but i guess I have put myself in this postion and the up shot is my body doesnt feel that getting preggers is on the cards just now.... crikey I have realy depressed myself now!
But I feel trapped by the finances and the future.....

Hey, pincushion, are you sure we dont know each other or something??? I also do a PGCert (HATE IT,HATE IT, HATE IT ), also find the dropping off ds very stressful and also hubby was working away during the week (how do we expect to get pregnant??).

But really, it is not our fault that nowadays we have to work, and also it is no bad thing to have ambitions outside the home, is it? We have lives, we are not just mothers or wives, we are ourselves, with our dreams and wishes and wanting to have a good life. Sorry, this is my revolutionary mode now, but I cannot stand this sense that it is somehow our fault...What is the alternative? Unemployment? Hey, that would be really stress-free!

Maybe we do.... do you work in a big city with a bull in the middle?

My PGCert is a means to an end - and yes mine is nae the best.

I cant even take a sabbatical for a year, anyway i would take one and then not get preggers during it and be skint!!! I dont know what the answer is - i guess just live with my choices and the consequences?

Well, I don't work in medcine. But, based on thread, still right place to be!

Ds arrived nearly 3 yrs ago after 6 yrs of waiting, inc a mp and treatment which prevented trying for 1yr during that time. Twice got to the top of the NHS IVF list in that time...

Since then 2mc in autumn 06 and 07. Currently awaiting follow up appointment at recurrent mc unit.

Worst issue recently when one of people that I met at coffee mornings announced that they were pregnant when I bumped into them at nursery (her ds is younger than mine) and then said - I'll have 2 under 2s and rolled her eyes. Nearly said something to the effect that I would have been due the same month if hadn't had mc... Very !

Hi Mistlethrush, I know how you feel dh cousins wife was pg at the same time as me with dd she has just given birth to her 3rd ds saw them at the weekend and he is gorgous. I really thought by now I would have a house full of kids. Loads of mums are pg at dd school 3rd or 4th one.

Hi all and that's just done me the power of good to hear all your experiences.
Some other stuff.... we live in Germany and although my german is ok, it's rather daunting to have to think about getting IVF and understanding the process in german. I am calling this afternoon for an appointment at a clinic, can't hurt to find out more about it.
Acupuncture is a good idea I will also try that. Anything to help me relax that doesn't involve the words 'gin' and 'tonic' cos if I go down that road we'll get more tears.
When I lost my first baby I read a great book by Lesley Regan, it helped so much not only from the science stuff but also with the emotions I had. I also went to see a shrink and that helped too, just using her as a sounding (sometimes screaming) board. My german is definitely not good enough to do that here so you guys will have to be my shrink!
Anyone know any good books about TTC that might inform or just sooth?
xxx me

Whats TTC - sorry for being silly, I get conufsed with all these abbreviations. I am guessing I wont know any books !

Mistlethrush, I too can sympathise - i have 3 freinds all about to drop with third and fourth and moaning about how much extra work they will ahve to do and how will they afford it etc etc - its difficult to be sympathetic.

PS v new to all this - what happens if you click on "flip"? does it out the last post first?

Pincushion, there is an acronym list at the top of the page. That helped me a lot.

AAhh

Feel free to all LOL but after reading various threads I thought i will go out and buy some sticks that tell you when jiggy is good - so off i trots to supermarche and forks out £20 on 15.... then as I am happily about to pee on it i read the box and realsie you need to buy a monitor - the money grabbing, female exploiting, plastic abusing toe rags!!!!

hello everyone,

Im just trying to catch up with the thread while I'm supposed to be doing work stuff, im at home so im catching bits in between juggling toddler & work (and MN!)

On the subject of work whats even more spooky is that I work for the nhs but not in a clinical role! I work in the right place to get advice but at the same time cannot disclose why I need it as i know there would be mass panic if it was known that we are ttc!

pincushion, dont get depressed about your hectic schedule. I think its something all us working mums worry about - whether we are doing too much and not getting pregnant is our bodies way of saying 'are you serious'!

Anies has summed that one up perfectly .

sounds like you got some clear blue opk's, you could look at getting a monitor second hand on here or ebay and they even did a trial a few months back so you could check their website if they have any planned for the future and they would supply the equipment.

Im off to go and research accupunture x

Will look for monitor thanks. How did you get on with research?

We have been ttc no 2 for almost a year now and tbh I am starting to get a bit worried with each month that passes. Ds is 3 and was conceived the 2nd month we were trying. When (and if, fingers crossed)we hit a year of trying (April)we are going to start some investigations. I am not sure that I want to go forward with IVF (nothing against it btw - just not sure that it is the route I want to take) and so in the last couple of months we have been discussing going down the route of adoption (locally or overseas) if we discover there is a reason that we have been unsuccessful thus far. Best wishes to everyone who has been trying as long (or much longer ) than we have...

My first post, so sorry if I get things wrong/don't use right terminology... have been reading all your posts and marvelling at others going through same thing as me. We've been trying for 2 yrs now, got preg with (3 1/2 yr old) daughter within 2 months of trying (after one miscarriage), and so smugly assumed it was super-easy. Clearly not the case. I've been feeling v alone and as if going slightly mad: seem to spend all my time peeing on sticks, work self up into frenzy of anxiety before period due, do early result preg tests before anything would show, keep doing preg tests even when they come out negative, go to the toilet every 20 mins on day period due to see if it's come yet (not great at work), etc etc. I can't bear this cycle of being devastated and then having to pick self up and try again 2 wks later, only to be devastated again 2 wks later. Anyway, you know all this... Plus had miscarriage Aug last year, and baby would have been due on April 14th -- getting harder and harder as that date looms nearer.
Anyway, my question is about HSF levels -- mine are 11.2 at last test and dr said that was at high end of spectrum. But my GP said that they can fluctuate and that 11.2 wasn't problematic. Any advice/thoughts?
Also, assuming not preg this month (and bloody accupuncturist told me today she thought i wasn't), have to have a HSG test done, which am dreading. Any soothing words about that much appreciated too...

At last I can unburden myself from all my ttc no 2 worries. Though feeling a bit raw tonight and have some work to get aon with so will be back in touch, promise.

Oh there are so many of us -- makes me very sad to think of so many unhappy chicks. I didnt realise it all got so technical - dies that help - does it give you something to focus on or does it make one more obsessed (said i a gentle nice way) crikey its scary.....

What to do, what to do......want ot have a group hug hug and think we need some one here who knows about all the technical stuff! Where is anies?

Hi all,

this 2 in the morning is becoming a bit of a habit, not a good one...Worrying thoughts, knot in the stomach. Anyway.

I had an HSG a couple of months a go, it didn't hurt, what I felt was pressure really, nothing too awful. It is just the process of waiting and the big frightening equipment etc. but it was fine and the doc told me there and then that all looked fine. In fact, they say that some women get pregnant after it- of course this did not happen to us, the same way that it did not happen during a relaxing holiday, during a lovely weekend break and all the other common myths you hear so often. Makes you feel very frustrated.

A book I would recommend is the Zita West book, I found it very helpful because it has a more holistic take to it, both medical and complementary approaches. It explains all these mysterious numbers and tests etc. In fact, we went and saw her back in the autumn. She was lovely, reassured us back then and she recommended the acupuncture.

For me, I have avoided all the ovulation sticks etc. not good for my obsessive nature. Merindol, I totally identify with what you say about the monthly cycle of expectation and disappointment- how can you escape your own body??? Every little twitch becomes a symptom and plays tricks with your mind. I am also not impressed with acupuncturist telling you they don't think you are, is this part of their role? I don;t know how much this is helping you really.

This thread can become a support line for us all, I hope that we can go on talking, sharing and also as I said before we can also talk about very silly things too, especially when one is dealing with a newly arrived AF (I am learning all the acronyms...). Then it is the time to talk about which actor one fancies, rather than medical tests and how everyone else is getting pregnant!

Really need to try and sleep, work tomorrow...

here here!

Ah Anies, thanks so much for reassurance about HSG know it's silly but have been absolutely dreading it, particularly as nurse at Repro Medicine Unit told me that some people find it 'uncomfortable' assumed this was NHS code for bloody agonising. Although, as she also pointed out cheerily, not nearly as uncomfortable as having a baby. Felt like throwing my urine sample at her.
I know, acupuncturist saying that did make me feel wierd (plus upset). The generous side of me thought she was trying to cushion blow of getting period, and the ungenerous side thought she was making sure I'd still come back for another session after it hadn't worked on this cycle.
But I will look out that Zita West book.
Pincushion, I think you're right -- the more technical info you have the more there is to obsess and worry about. And it doesn't seem to change basic fact that having babies is a deeply mysterious business that sometimes works and sometimes doesn't, and no one seems to be able to tell you why. Ho hum.
Anyone else spend all of their 20s determined that they weren't going to be defined by their biology? Ironic to find in my (v late) 30s that all I want is for that biology to define me, dammit.
But it's good to talk...