Trying for second baby long time, anyone else in the same boat?

[Anies]

Hi,
we have been trying for our second bay for over a year and a half, once again great disappointment tonight...Wondering, is there anyone else in the same situation who would like to share this? I am currently having acupuncture and herbs, they are making me feel much better in myself, also will have second NHS appointment with specialist on Tuesday to discuss options. Just thinking about embarking on assisted methods...Anyone else going through this? It canbe very lonely...

Och I dont think that links worked - thought I hadd done it right!

There is no WAY I could let someone stick pins in me, god you lot are brave.

I am more of a yoga girl myself, practicing buddist and meditate regularly, I find that tends to keep me even. Mind you cant spell for toffee!

(look out the inner hippy is making herself known).

Registered dyslexic and dont know how to get spell checker on this!!!

Billy - I wouldn't have done - was going to a chineese herbalist prior to ds - turned up to appointment knowing that I was pregnant, she said, OK, no more herbs, I'll do some accupuncture on you instead. I wouldn't have gone if I had to book in for it though. But its marvellous. Only very occasionally do you get a sharp pain (but this isn't as bad as the 'sharp scratch' for blood tests etc) - quite often I get very clear feelings like an electric shock but not painful. I have been known to fall asleep during treatment....

Mistle, thanks for that, but I am a whimp!

I have a friend taking me to give blood soon as I am a nightmare with blood, needles etc and sunk veins! I am A rh Neg so should get the courage to give eh.

I am going to try it, but now thinking maybe acupuncture may help the fear after reading all the posts. Maybe I should try that first?

Cheers for all the reassurance! Have left a message with my local acupuncturist...didn't realise there was one within a 10 minute drive .

Billy I should give blood too, am also rhesus neg.

Hatty - scary huh, giving blood! Well I spose we should just be brave and do it. I have promised myself to try. Good luck with the pin artists.

Quick question to see if anyone is as obsessed as me! I have just realised that I have started to read every single article in newspapers/magazines scouring for references to more than one child! e.g. x celebrity has a daughter aged 3 (I am feeling perfectly ok at this stage) and a son aged 18 months (immediately plunged into depression). I even realised the other day that I was feeling envious of the bloody Pontipines from In the Night Garden, because they have hordes of kids.

When will this insanity end?!

Crikey this post is moving super quick!

Hello to everyone. I did'nt get far with my accupuncture research as ended up making cakes with DH & DD.

There is a new chinese/herbal/ alternative place down the road so might go and see what they have to offer. Had'nt gone in before as found the 'INFERTILITY?' sign in the shop window very off putting but I'm starting to realise it is'nt just aimed at me personally!

I think my cousin is a Pontipine as she is about to have no.5. Yes thats right 5 & shes under 25!!!! I could'nt even manage 2 before i was 30

DH saw the gp today so he will be booking his SA shortly. I should phone up about my bt result but im too scared.

Cedar - re the clearing out, I will find out in the next week if my sis is having a girl and if so im sending DH into the loft so I have to face upto it. Billysitch - does sods law work if its what your wanting to happen?

Hello,
Am cheered up every time I read, cos it's funny and cos it's all happening to me too.
Can we agree if any of us succeed in our mission, to say goodbye and good luck and we'll all know what that means? And if it's not too personal, tell us how you managed it?! And if you want to, sell on any equipment (clear blue extra sticks, Zeta West books, etc). Good idea?
Have just read about the side effects of Clomid. That's a bit scary.
www.babycentre.co.uk/preconception/fertilitytreatments/clomid/
Or is this what I need to get used to for any infertility treatment from now on...?

Hi all,

cannot believe how busy our thread has become! On the one hand, it is not of course good that we are all caught up in this difficult limbo, but on the other hand it is very supportive to have this communication, good old internet!

I had an acupuncture session today, big fat needles stuck at the base of my very stiff and stressed out neck- lovely...And just to clarify: it does hurt! I could not believe it when I first went! I had reflexology in the past and I expected something similar. But no pampering it ain't! But don't let that put you off, remember, it is a medical intervention, it is not a beauty treatment. Mine today was so nice and I came back feeling positive and rested. It also feels like a safe haven going to him, very positive, caring person.

Merindol, I totally agree with this thought that if you just 'forget' it, then it will happen. It is all these 'magical' things that somehow happen to others- the weekend away, the holiday, all these things. Rubbish, I say, they only add up to the sense of frustration and failure. I do think that the psychological factor is important, but it is much more complex to control stress than just go off on holiday, or 'just relax'.

When we saw Zita West she asked us what had changed in our lives since we has ds- and we thought and said, well having him really and how exhausted we are and how life has changed dramatically! She told me that it was possible that my body was not ready when we first started trying, 18 months after giving birth.

Come to think of it, after giving birth I actually lost weight, lost appetite- I wasn't depressed, but I found it very difficult to adjust to life with a baby. My own family lives abroad, we had just moved house and I had been made redundant, this last one destroying a very good friendship. God, writing this makes me realise how hard it was on me.

And recently I have been realising that when we started trying, again I was under tremendous pressure at work, to the point that one month my AF was late for a week (and of course I thought that I was pregnant...). Not only that, but to be honest, I was- until very recently- panicking at the thought of how we are going to manage if we had another baby- my husband is freelance and his latest jobs have been away from home, so I have to do all the childcare, so I reached total burn out.

Phew...that was a load off my chest...but it is importnant I guess to think about the psychological factor, but in its complexity, not the simplistic, annoying advice you hear...

Well, Easter break from now on, off to sleep now and hopefully no messages posted at 2.00 tonight!!!

Imgens - check this site out - my practitioner is on it, and I certainly wouldn't go to anyone that wasn't:

www.rchm.co.uk/

Anies - 'big, fat needles' ????? My accupuncturist uses very fine needles so you rarely feel them go in, just the 'chi' sensation. Mine is doing a lot of work on 'liver' points at the moment, primarily related to sleep issues. It definitely works and I'm usually a lot better just after a treatment

I helped at the NCT nearly new sale recently. For ds, someone at the NCT coffee mornings was giving away snow suits and I was the only one with an appropriate age of child so we got them. She then had another and I returned them to her - I think I did mention that we were hoping for another at the time. However, I saw one of them on the sale rale at the sale. I had to prevent myself from getting it. It nearly made me cry. I can remember how useful it was for ds, and how I'd like to have another baby use it. But I didn't get it (in the hope that this will help), so, fingers crossed, I'll have to buy a new one instead.

Morning all, just back from a treatment. We had a long chat about my chances and I told him all about you lot - he thinks you should all have it (if not having it! well he would do at £45 a go....) anyway after 6 treatments although he feels that I am healthy and nothing negative going on -but i am still knackered, so am to look at my diet and try eating more protein - steaks etc- mm not my favourite. I had some painful ones today and some not - just depends.

Lilamummy - agree with you - however feel very doubtful i will be saying goodbye.

My mum keeps saying "whats for you wont go by you"" not helpful mother!

Whats everyone doing for easter? I shall mainly be eating chocolate!

Please can some one tell me about how you know you ahve ovulated (without temp of CF check?

Blimey I cant keep up with this thread.
I hope everyone enjoys the easter break and has got the time off work. Horray me and dh have both got all 4 days off together.
Iwbp I do exactly the same thing madly try and work out age gaps of everyone kids. lol at the pontipine envy.
Pincushion enjoy all that chocolate, I will be joining you. I am having some reflexology tonight and I cant wait its so relaxing.
Anies i am very inpressed you have seen Zita west personally. Where does she have a clinic? Sorry being nosey again does it cost loads?
Enjoy all those easter eggs everyone

Oh god, that is interesting about the psychological factors. Since having our twins 2 and a half years ago, we have lived overseas for a year, moved to yet another new area with DH's work last autumn, both started working freelance, had money worries, no family nearby who can help with toddler care...completly agree re worrying about how I'd actually cope with a baby whenever period has been late!

I didn't think I was stressed but I have developed excma (sp?) on my hands for the first time in the last few months! Hmmm...

Have booked acupuncture session for Wednesday . Think I might need it! Hoping for the fine needle variety rather than the thick ones!

Hi

I've been following this thread a bit and wanted to say hello. We've been trying for number 2 for 8 cycles - it took 7 to get our daughter, so it's not really surprising.

The reason I just wanted to pipe up is that I also have acupuncture. I don't think there is anything much wrong with me, and neither does my acupuncturist, but it is fair to say that after DD's rather traumatic birth I have felt, to some extent, frozen by the terror I felt at the time. My acupuncturist thinks that my stress from that might be what is preventing me from getting pregnant. I know it all sounds a bit hippy, but when she said it I had been wondering about the same thing myself. We've been talking about it lots and I am starting to feel loads better.

Just wanted to share that, because it's one hell of a psychological block, IMO. Do any of you feel you might be affected by the same sort of thing?

Waving to scaryhairy - hello!

Am really looking forward to my acupuncture now (well as much as you can look forward to something involving needles!).

I know what you mean scaryhairy, I don't feel my body and hormones have really settled down since my twins and my birth for them was pretty full on too ending up with a section under GA. I found the baby stage HARD, unsuprisingly with twins!

I dread the first 6 months of babydom, but hope it would be different with one rather than two. I loved my twins desperately when they were tiny, just as much as I do now, but it was such a struggle to look after them with no help, recovering from the section, living somewhere with DH's work where we didn't know anyone.

Physically it feels like my body has changed loads, I break out much more easily, I get eczma all over my hands when I'm stressed (must look up how to spell that!) and tummy aches from running around trying to do too much all the time with working and childcare (like many mums!)

I think like you, there might be a bit of a block - especially as we are both self-employed which makes our finances unpredictable. Some months we've been doing it around the right time, but afterwards have been quite scared in case it's worked! We want it to work and to concieve, but it's still scary.

My mum and dad tried for 7 years before then having 5 of us. They had every test available then (in mid to late 70's) and nothing showed up. Then my mum had the first three of us in three and a half years! So I do wonder if there was something pyschological going on there too..

Sorry for me, me, me post - just wanted to say we all sound very similar in many ways!

I haven't read all of this thread but I was in a very similar position to many of you. I wondered if you have all had blood tests for at least 2 months to check you are actually ovulating? I had +ve opk tests and very regular periods but the 21 day test showed I didn't always ovulate. The opk test just check the hormone is released not the actual egg.

After some other tests to check there was nothing wrong inside I ended up on clomid and metformin which helped the 2nd time round.

Hoping to have the tests done this month - worried I have lots of signs of PCOS. But having twins already I am worried about the risks of multiple births increasing from clomid/metformin! I love my girls hugely but I don't think we could actually afford two sets of twins!

ooh yes that would be a bit scary!

I had follicle monitoring the first time I took clomid to make sure there weren't too many. I think they adjust the dose.

Ah, that's interesting - I didn't realise they could do that!

Thanks msappropriate,
I had some urine tracking which showed that I ovulated in 2 consecutive months but I do wonder whether there are more anovulatory cycles than there seem. I would like to try Clomid but the specialist seems to think there is no point. Maybe I should re-visit that one.

Having listened to all the acupuncture chat, I think I should re-start it. I stopped because I was apparently all balanced up and frankly couldn't keep going for ever. But maybe now is the time to re-start. This has been an appallingly hormonal month and I feel physically and mentally all over the place. I am also sick of all the sacrifices - went out last night and didn't drink, have been avoiding hot baths after ovulation, no caffeine, remembering vitamins, drinking enough water, etc etc - all for sod all result as I can feel the game is up for this month. I do wonder whether a few weeks of mad carousing and abandoned behaviour would do the trick?!

Lol at pontipine cousin. 5 by the age of 25 is very good going. I would be happy with 2 by 40...

anniemac, I agree about smugly fertile schlebs. In fact everyone around me seems so disgustingly fertile - they are all oozing oestrogen and I am feeling more and more shrivelled by the day! I was standing in front of some hpts in the chemist the other day and some v young & evidently fertile 20 something was looking panic stricken in front of the same shelf. Seemed so bizarre that she clearly didn't want to be pg and prob was, whereas I .....