TTC after early miscarriage

[RaisingCornishWildlings]

Morning!
So I sadly suffered an early miscarriage at 5w just over a fortnight ago.

We have 3 children already (6,4 and 19m) and I'm 40, hubby 47.

Lovely staff at EPU said crack on again as soon as I'm ready- and not to worry about having a period first.

I've always had pretty irregular cycles anyway and have never tracked ovulation (we have been very lucky and fallen pregnant super easily- and this was my first MC).

I think I have just ovulated (Sunday) which was 14 days since spotting (main bleed from miscarriage was Tues 11, Weds 12 Oct).

My symptoms were bloating on Fri and Saturday, and real drop in mood over the weekend (I've noticed this has happened a few times a couple of weeks before period since cycles started after DD was born), by yesterday my mood was much more stable again. On Sunday I had mild nausea and very mild cramping (more like little twinges).
We DTD Sunday night.

So have fingers crossed that something might have happened!

I noticed yesterday evening and today I'm peeing more than usual but apparently that can be a sign of ovulation too.

I'm going to be a crazy lady symptom
spotting for a fortnight now! Have a cervical screening booked for a week today (wondering if I should cancel it?!)

What's the earliest anyone has had symptoms after DTD that turned out to be early pregnancy? And how many DPO have you got a positive?

@ThelastRolo20 sounds like a needed release! Are they doing any testing for you? X

@Claudiasaz no they're not, but I'm hoping it's bad luck. I had such an easy first pregnancy that I don't want to believe there's any issues.

If I have a third then yes, maybe we'll look to have some basic tests done. I'm hoping that fact I seem to get pregnant easily enough is a good sign.

@ThelastRolo20 I am sure everything is absolutely fine! I just wondered what they offer in this situation, as they offered me a test if I kept baby when they came away. I didn't feel like I could go through managing taking it in to hospital etc so left it. Someone I'm close to lost their baby at similar gestation and had a test and nothing came back anyway! So these things sadly just happen for no reason sometimes clearly x

I would love to know the reasons behind my 3 miscarriages whether they were not viable due to something like chromosome problems or if they were problems caused by my body like the uterine lining, fibroids. I know another woman who had 3 miscarriages and she had tests with the third and they confirmed it was chromosomes. She still got progesterone and blood thinner injections prescribed for her subsequent pregnancy which surprised me given the cause was the wrong number of chromosomes but I guess they couldn't confirm if that was the case with her previous losses.

@ThelastRolo20 you sound like such a positive person. It's really nice to hear after everything you have been through. It's easy not to be. I agree with you though you have had a really healthy pregnancy before it is probably just dreadful luck. Like you say you seem to fall pregnant easy enough so that is a really good positive. I think your little break and a focus in yourself on holiday will do you the world of good.

@mumsince2021 yes I always wander what caused my misscarriage. I done everything I "should" and tbh I never actually blamed myself, I know some women do, but at the same time do wander and think should I have lifted that heavy, or ate that, or drank that extra coffee. It does make you think if it's something in my body low progesterone ect will it happen again? I guess we all think like that at stages as the not knowing is actually quite hard and can lead you into a pit of worry.

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend x

@miamiamia869 I think it's natural to feel that way. And you're right @ThelastRolo20 has such a great outlook, I really admire it. But equally I feel women don't get enough support through MC from what I've seen, which was why I was curious.

I fell pregnant so easily before my MC. The MC itself was a total surprise using pull out method as contraception 😂 Now I've been trying for 4 months and nothing. It's so disheartening. I do feel better this month as I've just said screw it, it'll happen. One day 🙏😂 and then have the Dr involved now to check my hormones so feels like I've got a bit of support with it.

We will all get there. And I am so grateful to have found this group. It was just the two of us before and now look 😂 @RaisingCornishWildlings

@mumsince2021 Ive had tests through the NHS due to recurrent miscarriage and they all came back “normal”, but a different (private) consultant suggested I take aspirin anyway - he said there’s so much they don’t yet know and even though I’m negative for lupus, thrombophilia, etc my psoriasis could be causing blood inflammation! So I’m going with it if I get another positive 🤞🏻the last baby I lost we did get tested and was to triploidy which is chromosomal but it’s very rare and doesn’t have age links, etc

@ThelastRolo20 yes to running!… you’re inspiring me.. I’ve been thinking about doing couch to 5k recently to get back into running! I think running’s great for the mind and any distractions welcome! I’m with you on operation egg 😄

@RaisingCornishWildlings hope you’re ok lovely, your body may just need a bit of time to get back in sync, seems like a fair few of us in here have had cycle issues since miscarriage. I got a positive ovulation test yesterday at CD8 which is pants because it’s too early for a viable egg!

I had a call Friday with the nhs recurrent miscarriage consultant and she said there’s no reason my next pregnancy won’t result in a healthy baby, to keep going! Thought to share because even for me after 5 miscarriages, the odds are in my favour 🩷

Ladies also, for anyone interested in vitamins there’s a brand called Ovum that gets really good reviews. They have an account on Instagram (startwithovum) that has some good info about TTC and fertility - they were recommended by a nutritionist I follow on Instagram who is brilliant (melaniebrownnutritionist)

Link for vitamins;
https://amzn.eu/d/8NQ2x97

@Claudiasaz yes it's a lovely little group, also reslly pleased I found it. I think this too that support after misscarriage is poor. I take one good from it that its not that 'big of a deal" for the medics because its so common. Only positive you can really take from it.... I didn't really think about it at the time but my husband was so angry at the lack of support I had after misscarriage. He was so shocked the midwife doesn't get in touch, and that I had to cancel my midwife appnts and scan ect. I do think there is a lack of support and information.

@Blueskies4 thats good news, so sad you have had to go through thay 5 times, but it's good you got some positive news and pray for a healthy pregnancy next time xx

@miamiamia869 oh same! The care in the hospital for medical management was honestly sooooooo bad. They also had zero compassion. I was shocked. I think as it was my third child I managed but kept thinking if this was my first I would be in pieces. I had to tell my husband to just leave it and be quiet because I wanted to go home 😂 The only person who was actually great was the person I saw when they thought I had retained some, she was so kind. She'll never know what a difference she made to the whole experience.

@Claudiasaz every now and then you come across a gem don’t you! When I was in hospital for medical management at 14 weeks one of the midwifes put her hand on mine and said I’ve been through it 3x (all second trimester losses bless her) and never give up hope, you’ll get your baby and she just changed the whole experience for me

So this big fat ovulation test just happened! Yesterday evening it was so faint it was barely visible! Lots of EWCM again so will be BD-ing tonight and in the morning before DH heads off for the week! Fingers crossed it's enough to get sticky bean cooking!

@Claudiasaz @miamiamia869 thank you 🤩 it's a struggle to be positive sometimes but the alternative does no one any good, especially my daughter who still needs me ❤️ @Blueskies4 do it! Running is good for the soul (I think 😂). I'm planning on doing at least one 5km a week as a personal challenge. Hopefully by March/ April I'll be doing 10km a week so when I look back I'll be able to focus on that rather than the MC.

My husband wanted to delay until May, I want to start again in April. We had a conversation like adults and compromised....we're starting in April 😂😂

@RaisingCornishWildlings that's a wonderful positive OPK! I knew it couldn't be far away with your symptoms

@Blueskies4 I also tell myself that the odds are in my favour next time. There's no reason I'll have another miscarriage - I will speak to EPU about low dose aspirin though to increase blood flow. Other than that I won't change anything else - these aren't my fault after all x

Yeah that's definitely the best approach @ThelastRolo20! I keep worrying and thinking there's something wrong and it will never happen but we did nothing different when we had my son so I know it's mostly just bad luck and there's every chance we will all have a successful pregnancy soon!

Very good sign @RaisingCornishWildlings you can't l do any better than trying tonight for this cycle 🤞

Also April might lead to another December baby @ThelastRolo20 😂 imagine that for us with December babies already

@mumsince2021 haha I know, my daughter did sneak into January (3rd).

Will have to see when my cycles restart what rough dates are looking like! On another note how easy is it to get aspirin? Will I need a prescription or just get some from the pharmacy?

You can buy aspirin easily if your doctor does recommend it. I had bought it before I changed my mind at the last minute when I read that nhs fertility guidance about holding off until after 8 weeks.

Thank you @mumsince2021 I think it depends on the dosage? When I looked.the NHS says a low dose (75mg) is safe to take all the way through pregnancy, a higher dose not so much.

If you've seen anything else though please do let me know! It's so hard knowing what the right thing to do is!

I'd love to join this thread if I can :) I'm really sorry for your loss. I'm 1dpo! We've had 4 MC at 5 weeks, MMC at 12 weeks, blighted ovum at 7 weeks and another MC at 6 weeks which was just over 2 weeks ago, I ovulated around 17 days after the loss MC. Praying for a sticky baby!!! I'm 27 and DH is 40.

OP @RaisingCornishWildlings how did your DH find having children at age 40? I only ask as we have had a LOT of comments saying my DH is to old (he already has 2 teen kids from a previous marriage) but it's what we want together ..

@midnights0 I'm so sorry about your MCs, really hope the next pregnancy is the one for you ❤️

My sister and her husband had their first at 28 and 39 respectively, and their second at 32 and 42 - I don't think anyone made a comment! 40 is absolutely fine to have a baby 😊

Thank you ❤️

It's looking like he will be 41/42 if we manage to have one naturally or maybe older if we have to go down a different route (waiting on a referral) I never really cared but some people love to shove their opinion down your throat 😅

@midnights0 welcome. So sorry for your losses, so unfair. My friend had her first baby 2 years ago she was 30 and he was 40. They are fine and he is certinally not too old at all. Ignore those comments, it's your and his life no one else's xxx