TTC after early miscarriage

[RaisingCornishWildlings]

Morning!
So I sadly suffered an early miscarriage at 5w just over a fortnight ago.

We have 3 children already (6,4 and 19m) and I'm 40, hubby 47.

Lovely staff at EPU said crack on again as soon as I'm ready- and not to worry about having a period first.

I've always had pretty irregular cycles anyway and have never tracked ovulation (we have been very lucky and fallen pregnant super easily- and this was my first MC).

I think I have just ovulated (Sunday) which was 14 days since spotting (main bleed from miscarriage was Tues 11, Weds 12 Oct).

My symptoms were bloating on Fri and Saturday, and real drop in mood over the weekend (I've noticed this has happened a few times a couple of weeks before period since cycles started after DD was born), by yesterday my mood was much more stable again. On Sunday I had mild nausea and very mild cramping (more like little twinges).
We DTD Sunday night.

So have fingers crossed that something might have happened!

I noticed yesterday evening and today I'm peeing more than usual but apparently that can be a sign of ovulation too.

I'm going to be a crazy lady symptom
spotting for a fortnight now! Have a cervical screening booked for a week today (wondering if I should cancel it?!)

What's the earliest anyone has had symptoms after DTD that turned out to be early pregnancy? And how many DPO have you got a positive?

I feel like I can see the merest hint of a shadow on that test! Hold off for 48 hours and hopefully a faint line by Saturday! 🤞🤞🤞

I a really horrid reflux-y feeling at the back of my throat yesterday evening- eating dinner was mildly uncomfortable! It seems to have abated mainly for now, but I'm vaguely aware of the sensation still, and I have a headache - but think that's because I'm run down- didn't sleep well at all last night (not helped by the fact that all 3 of my monsters crept into my bed!) and might be coming down with a cold- drippy nose and sneezed a few times 💔

I'm 7DPO today so I'm making a deal with myself not to test until Sunday. I still feel very negative though and don't think it's my month 😫

@Holly0609 I don't know much about chemicals but can the gp do a blood test? Seems unfair for you to have to just keep testing yourself. hope you're alright x

@RaisingCornishWildlings Aw I really hope so for you !

Damn what is wrong with my body. Worrying! X

I've definitely come on just now. So my luteal phase was 10 days. This has genuinely never happened before. Do I need to be worried at this point? I'm having a new issue every month since my MC.

Thank you everyone for the messages. @Cat2022 I see something! Fingers crossed. @Holly0609 I'm so sorry you're having such a worrying time, I hope it all works out.

I've decided to pause trying to get pregnant until after my holiday in April, realistically I wouldn't be able to try until Feb anyway and it means I can enjoy it more for the sake of a 2 month break. Also means more of a mental break for me.

If I get pregnant again I'm going to try and take daily aspirin, I've heard good things about doing so - I can't think of any other risk factors I have but I'm very grateful for my daughter (maybe not so grateful for needing to navigate her birthday party this weekend - hardly in the party mood!)

Anyway, long story short I'm going to be going quiet for a while. These miscarriages don't define me, they are not who I am, they are just happening to me. I'll be a year behind where I wanted but then I had COVID screw up my wedding 3 times so I'm an old hat at being patient!

Wishing you all the very best, I'll pop in occasionally and will be back with a vengeance in April/ May. Love to you all x

@Holly0609 it's horrible testing for line progression completely understand your worry. Unfortunately all you can do is wait and hope 🤞

@Claudiasaz how sure are you with the ovulation day is it possible the luteal phase was slightly longer than 10 days if ovulation is just an estimate? My cycles are so short my LP must be pretty short. It was a 22 day cycle this month for me. I used to average 27 days but now it's 21 days. I don't know a lot about the LP but I think it's in average 12-14 days long so hopefully you're not far off.

@ThelastRolo20 So good to hear from you. I'm gutted for you, genuinely. I hope you enjoy your holiday. Sounds like a really good idea. Sending hugs xxx

Thank you everyone
I popped up to EPU earlier (I work in the hospital) and I’m going back on my lunch for bloods.
Part of me thought what will be will be, to just wait it out and see what happens, but it’s all I can think about.
Think I’m doing my husbands head in 😭 he says I’m too stressed and need to relax and enjoy that we’re pregnant again - but I can’t! Especially because my tests aren’t darker, I just want to know ☹️

@ThelastRolo20 I’m so gutted for you 💔. Hope the break does you good ❤️

@Holly0609 great idea! Hope all is well x

@mumsince2021@mumsince2021
Mine is 12 days usually maybe just another anomaly. Trouble is I keep getting random things happen since this MC! I've bitten the bullet and called for a gp appointment today. I am due a smear anyway. Going by everyone on here, what I'm experiencing isn't normal and there should be some normality back to my cycles by now. My scan was 6th September where baby measured at 10 weeks and no heartbeat. Had a scan to say all was clear on the 2nd October after getting positive test still that day.

I'm just bored of it all being my personality 😂 love what @ThelastRolo20 said about it not defining her. I feel like it's all defining me right now. So food for thought!

Anyway thanks for letting me rant 😂 it sure helps x

So sorry to read your news @ThelastRolo20. What you said about the losses not defining you really moved me too. Take care and have a good rest over the next couple of months.

I had a MMC before Christmas (discovered at what should have been 11 weeks) and found out yesterday that the twin embryos measured only 1.6mm and 1.8mm. When I googled, it looks like that’s not even close to the expected measurements for a 6 week embryo. So I’m feeling a bit all over the place, thinking about why it happened and what went wrong with them, and how to stop it happening again.

Judging by CM (sorry, TMI), I think I ovulated around New Year, so hopefully expecting my first period in the next few weeks, depending on how long my luteal phase turns out to be. My cycle before conceiving was always 26-27 days. Once I’ve had a period, DH and I want to TTC again.

I’m getting a bit consumed by it all, which is why I think the point about it not defining us moved me so much. I’m also back at work after some time off over Christmas, and finding that hard too.

In terms of preparation, I’m taking Ultra Iron supplements, Active Folic methyl folate capsules, zinc, and omega 3 fish oil, plus a Vit D+K spray and a B12 spray. If I get a positive test once we start trying again, I want to start 75mg of aspirin straightaway (in the evenings for absorption) and Active Iron Pregnancy Plus. Does that sound OK?

I just want to be doing everything I possibly can to get pregnant again. I ummed and ahhed for ages before deciding to TTC, and it’s only now that I’ve realised how important it is to me. My childhood/relationship with my parents was my biggest concern, and I’ve done so much work on the emotional side of things to try and be as ready as I can be.

Wishing all of you on this thread all the very very best. Crossing my fingers that AF decides to arrive on time so we can start again. 💐

@meepthebeep gosh I'm so sorry that's awful. You're still very early on with your grief so please take some time for yourself. I hope you're okay.

I don't really know much about supplements to be honest. I've only ever taken the pregnacare conception and my hub takes the male ones. I have always tried to cut down my caffeine (much harder this time to be honest lol), make sure I'm not skipping any meals as can be guilty of this being busy, and always conceived very quickly. Howeverrrrrr! since my third which ended- I can't seem to get pregnant! So I'm not much help😂
There was a great post about vitamins on here yesterday though!

Sending hugs xx

@Claudiasaz you're not alone with a messed up cycles I was spotting CD 18 and then AF came CD 22. I never spot mid cycle and my cycles were never this short before so something is messed up with me since the last loss in October. I think I'm due a smear this spring (if they are still every 3 years) so I might run it all by them when I go too. In fact my last smear was the month before I conceived my son and I'm still convinced she possibly cleared a path in my cervix for the swimmers 😂

Oh I used to try everything when TTC with my son and nothing bloody worked. Had all sorts on the go like seed cycling, pineapple, grapefruit juice, all the vitamins, off caffeine, off alcohol, warm socks post ovulation 😅 then it happened when we were just waiting for our fertility appointment on a month we weren't really trying as we had given up. I do think a lot of them are just things that keep you focused and give you something to do that feels productive but don't really solve the problem. It's mostly luck. Although I do think stress is a factor so it's always best to eliminate that if possible but that's the hardest when all you're thinking about is TTC 🤦‍♀️

@mumsince2021 that's interesting and we are similar time frame since our losses too. I'd definitely mention it - don't suffer!

Hopefully that happens for us this time then with the smears 😂

FYI for those considering aspirin might be worth running by a medical professional I've heard both pros and cons for this as I considered it myself. Some sources say it helps with implantation but there was also an NHS document circling saying it can hinder it too 🤦‍♀️ see below page 8 worth factoring into your decision. Not helpful when a lot of other NHS sources mention it as helpful.

mft.nhs.uk/app/uploads/sites/4/2018/04/12-123-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Service-January-2015.pdf

Looking into that aspirin again in seems it was just recommended not to touch before week 8 of pregnancy. Other NHS sources seem to only be referencing taking it from weeks 12 to 36 for any benefit related to increase in blood flow. I'm no doctor so I'd ask a professional before deciding.

Thank you @mumsince2021 I'll definitely speak to someone before taking it then!

It’s not good news 💔
My urine test was negative 🥺
They think I’m having an early chemical pregnancy. She said the machine detects 20 miu/ml but the ones I’ve been doing detect 10 I think? (The early ones)
They’ve done my bloods to see but it’s so very obvious it’s not good news 💔

I ovulated 16 days ago, but I haven’t had a period since August because of my miscarriage In October, so not sure when I was “due on”. Assuming it’ll be here any day now 🥺

Now I have to try carry on in work as normal when all I want to do is go home 😭

It’s mad because I did a digital clearblue one last night that said pregnant 💔

@Holly0609 I'm so sorry, this process is so bloody cruel at times. Surely you can go home and don't need to stay at work? X

@Holly0609 I'm really sorry to hear that and agree please go home and put your feet up for the afternoon. Give yourself this afternoon/evening at the very least to yourself xx

This is so rubbish that we're just seeing more losses here when we thought there was good news for some of us 🥺 why is life so cruel. @Holly0609 I hope you don't have long left on your shift but make excuses and go home if you need to as I know you must be feeling awful with the news. I remember sitting in work with my miscarriage in October and my booked desk (we have hot-desking) was next to a heavily pregnant woman talking about her upcoming maternity to another colleague of hers it was hard for me to sit there and hear it all when it was so raw for me. No one has any idea it's happening to people as well it's not something you consider

@Holly0609 absolutely gutted for you! I agree with the others go home if you can and even if you can’t go home early when you get home try and have a self care evening or even just an early night.

@ThelastRolo20 i hope you enjoy your holiday and a few months away from ttc just enjoying life!

Oh @ThelastRolo20 and @Holly0609 I'm so so sorry to read this. I've been off Mumsnet for a few days but just catching up and I'm so sad for you both 😔

Holly I hope you went home for the afternoon! And Rolo I think a break and a wonderful holiday is a brilliant idea. I went on holiday after my last loss and it really helped me to put it all to the back of my mind and just enjoy myself.

My period was three days late in the end so I assume I ovulated later than I thought and we more than likely missed the window! I've got some ovulation strips to try this month...

@Holly0609 I’m so sorry for you - hope you managed to get home and please give yourself time, once you’ve seen that positive test it’s unbelievably hard x

@ThelastRolo20 that’s a really good outlook and it moved me also! It’s so easy to just get sucked up by it all and I think a breaks a great idea to reset and enjoy being yourself x