Cd1 of ttc first cycle after loss... anyone want to join me? 🙂

[Ladyinpink1]

Hi 🙋‍♀️, just as the title says, I am now on cd1 of my first cycle after a loss at 11+4 (stopped growing just after a scan showing strong heartbeat at 8 -9w)

Feeling nervous but positive about a new cycle ...but finding it hard to think of anything else other than ttc 🙂

Happy for some company to obsess with over these next weeks x

@samilicious welcome to the thread and so sorry for your loss. Regarding opks, I never bothered about being too rigid with holding for 4hrs. I think you can still get to know your own body and patterns etc as long as you're aware a peak may be a bit diluted compared to if you'd held.

@graceinc22 that line is looking good and definitely darker than the one you got yesterday 🥰 I'm also trying to step back a bit. I meant to get a CB digital weeks in the supermarket yesterday and actually went down the correct aisle and completely forgot all about it (!!!) Suddenly remembered at the till but couldn't be bothered to dash back. I'm taking it as a good sign. I think there comes a point when it just all makes you more anxious. The wheels are already in motion now so what will be, will be.... Trying to be as zen as possible! (But may do a week's predictor in a few days....!!) Haha.. can only be so zen 🤔😆

Sorry to hear that you’re struggling @moosey89, and to echo what others have said, this thread is for discussing all our thoughts and feelings whether they be happy or sad. Personally speaking, post-mmc have been the darkest days of my life and I can’t imagine how tough it is to have infertility fears on top of this 😓, but like @Oxalis00, I also think you are incredibly brave to be having those discussions with your partner and potentially putting a timeline on things. Sending hugs x

Welcome to the thread @samilicious and sorry to hear of your journey so far. With opks I would use smu and then only a 2-3 hour hold before the next one if I could see it getting darker, I also wouldn’t be able to hold for 4 hours either 🙈. Which brand of opks are you using? X

@Ladyinpink1 I know, I do feel sorry for him as he’s been amazing but I’m blaming the hormones 🤣 I’m normally very laidback and patient but I’m biting at everything he says, he keeps calling me fiery which I guess is a polite word for bitch 🤣🤣 I definitely wasn’t this much of a cow last time so hopefully it’s a positive sign that hormones are out in full force 🙈 how are you getting on today? X

@samilicious sorry for your loss, this thread is a great support. OPKs I did in the morning and then lunchtime (and evening 😂). I have a rapid peak and decline so I need to x

My AF has arrived 2 days early, now I feel like an idiot for being so hopeful this month 😞 what makes me so angry is how I got pregnant without even really trying the first time, now it’s cycle 3 since my second surgery. I’m so scared something is wrong with me or I have endometriosis again. I had surgery for it about 8 years ago now, but not being on the pill and having periods is giving it chance to grow back and I’m just so scared. Some days I really feel like I can’t take it anymore it’s just mixtures of guilt and worry and grief all month every month

@moosey89 please don't apologise, I think we all know the ups and downs of emotions post MC and this is a place for support for all those times. I can't imagine what it's like with the added layer of infertility, my heart really goes out to you.

@samilicious welcome! With OPKs, they say that you shouldn't use FMU as the LH is released early in the morning and might not have had time to get into your urine for your first pee. I tend to do mine at 10am and then when it's slightly darker or I know I should be ovulating soon, I'll do it at 10, 2 and 6. I tend to peak quite quickly so always worried I'll miss it if I don't do that. I do try and hold the pee in if I can, but I drink alot.

@graceinc22 the line looks good!

@Bali200 my husband says since we lost the baby I've been in my SnapBack era 😂 I've always been really placid but can't help myself now.

My temperature was up a little today but that might only be because I had a couple of cocktails last night. We'll see over the next few days. Going to try and DTD again today once my MIL goes. I also impulsively bought tests today from hertility and I'm hoping it either give me some peace of mind if I end up testing negative or that I've tempted fate and it'll somehow help us conceive 😂. TTC has made me lose my mind.

Just a quick question- anyone using the clear blue advanced digital ovulation tests? Im
just about to reorder one but I was wondering can you use sticks from another pack on the new tester? Or do you have to buy all brand new again? Thanks!

@Ladyinpink1 I’m going to try wait until Thursday to test which will be 11dpo and when AF is due, I only have one early response test in the house and not allowing myself to buy any others before Thursday so I won’t be tempted to use it early 😂

@samilicious welcome to the thread, I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve been through that must be really tough ❤️‍🩹 With the strip test opks I’ve heard second morning urine or later is best! This cycle I’ve been using the clear blue digital advanced ovulation tests as you can use them with first morning urine so it has worked better for me around work 😊 They are a bit more expensive but I think if I don’t get a bfp this cycle I’ll continue to use them next cycle too!

@graceinc22 that looks like a good line ❤️

@GeorgeR28 aw I’m sorry AF has arrived early, that must have been a shock! I completely echo your feelings around not even really trying when you first fell pregnant, we were the same but now we’ve been actually trying since the missed miscarriage nothing has happened yet 😔 Sorry to hear about the endometriosis you previously suffered with, I hope nothing has happened with that since! It’s so hard not to think worse case scenario when your AF arrives, don’t be too hard on yourself and take the time to grieve, hopefully this next cycle is your cycle ❤️

@Bugdem123 relatable about TTC making you lose your mind, same here 😂 you’ve definitely got a good chance of catching the egg this cycle with the effort you’ve put in, let’s hope you don’t need those hertility tests after all 🤞

@GeorgeR28 I’ve been using them this cycle! Annoyingly they don’t sell the sticks separately so you have to buy the whole thing again 🙄 However they recommend sticking to the same tester as the more you use it the more it gets to know your cycle! So when I bought a new pack I’ve just kept the new tester as a spare in case my other one breaks 😊

That definitely looks darker to me today @graceinc22 I hope it makes you feel a tiny but better seeing it getting darker x

Lol. I was like that with dc1 @Bali200 (a very healthy baby and straightforward pregnancy) ready to fight over the tiniest thing...
so yes I think it's a good sign for you too x
I'm OK thanks cd7 today, tomorrow is my normal 1st test day but I'm going to hold off, for literally the first time ever lol. I have had some cramping this evening but I do get that at random times in my LP on a normal cycle, and I get the feeling it's not going to be the month as I have had my normal pms symptoms that I get the week before af( irritable etc) x

@GeorgeR28 I'm so sorry your period has arrived and that it's raising all of those doubts for you. I don't know if this helps but 2 times I fell pregnant right away and 2 times took 5 months, so I understand the frustration at it taking longer but I'm sure it will happen. Also, you have been through a lot and when af arrives it can bring back so many feelings... sending a hug, hope you can relax with a chick flick and a big bar of chocolate tonight x

Lol @Bugdem123 I am with you, don't worry, I lost my mind a long time ago with ttc 😂. I'm glad the mil visit didn't kill the mood x

@Haylsttc You are very good, and very smary only having 1 test in the house. I have let's say "a few" lol x

@Haylsttc thanks so much for your kind words ❤️ it’s nice on here because I actually feel heard from people who have been through the same and genuinely understand! I really hope so too, I don’t have any of the symptoms but it’s just always there in the back of my mind and the more periods I have the more chances are of it growing back! I really really hope so, would be nice to end the horrible year with some good news.. I’d be able to test on New Year’s Eve but I’m scared to risk putting any hope on that! Hope you’re doing okay? Xxx

@Haylsttc oh amazing thankyou so much I didn’t know that! I’ve just bought a new one because I needed new test sticks but I’ll stick to the old tester! ❤️

@Ladyinpink1 hey! Thankyou so much I really appreciate it. That actually does help a lot, just hearing about everyone else’s experiences is really helpful for me, the only examples I have around me in real life is people who got pregnant so easy, had the easiest pregnancies and really don’t understand it’s not the same for others.
thats exactly what I will be doing! Thankyou! Hope you’re doing okay ❤️

@GeorgeR28 I'm so sorry AF arrived, I know it's so hard but try not to worry, 3 months is really no time to be trying. It took me 3/4 months first time around x

@Ladyinpink1 it somehow made it easier; I think the sneaking around made it more exciting 😂.

I also have a "a few" tests in 😅 I could give everyone in the street a test and still have a few left for me to obsess over.

I'm feeling a wee bit sad tonight. I think it sometimes it just hits me that I thought everything was going to be so different this Christmas and I actually really did lose my baby. I know that sounds daft, it's been over two months but I still can't believe that actually happened to us. When we started trying in April/May, I really believed I'd be pregnant by Christmas and it's so tiring to still be taking OPKs, and my temp and obsessing over when to do it. I know in the grand scheme of things it's not that long, so sorry to anyone who's been trying much longer than that but I'm just feeling sorry for myself tonight I think.

Thanks so much ❤️ I keep telling myself that! Hopefully this is my month x

@Bugdem123 I can totally relate to that. We started trying in May also, pregnant in July and was looking forward to finding out the sex shortly before Christmas/ being 5 months pregnant etc. TTC is quite frankly mentally exhausting and doing it again is not where I thought I'd be. But it's where I am so we just keep going ❤️

@Ladyinpink1 @Bugdem123 haha I almost caved and bought more tests today but managed to stop myself!

@Ladyinpink1 what you said about getting pregnant twice quickly and another two times taking five months really gives me hope ❤️ One of my biggest worries is why did I fall pregnant so quick the first time but not now, however hearing other people’s stories gives me hope!

@Bugdem123 @ThelastRolo20 I relate to that too, we started trying in March fell pregnant in April and I should have been due in January so Christmas is proving to be really tough 💔 Just hoping all of this effort and heartbreak pays off and we get our bfp soon🤞

@graceinc22 yay that's looking good! Congrats!

@Bali200 the force deffo sounds strong in this little bean, can't be a bad thing!
Using One Step on Amazon, this was last month's arts and crafts 😅

@GeorgeR28 I'm tempted to give clear blue a go this time or the other cheapy brand and use premom app can't decide 🤔

Thank you @Haylsttc - I like doing them first thing too, that's a good shout. Made me laugh what you said about buying more tests, that's me currently! It was a rapid result FR one though because I can't read 😅 that I've got left in for next time I'm feeling brave

@Bugdem123 doesn't sound silly at all - my first loss I just 'moved on' in my mind and it all came crashing down when I felt ready to try again a year later. I had to have time off work and all sorts when I only had a day when it actually happened. Grief doesn't have a normal timeline 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not sure if there was a peak here last month with the cheap One Step ones or not

@samilicious i actually use both! I’d say I prefer the clear blue though if I’m honest! Takes the guesswork out looking at lines and guessing which is peak!

@Haylsttc i can’t believe it your timeline is the same as mine, my due date was January and I’ve been dreading Christmas and January for that reason 😞 really
hope you’re okay, I know how awful it feels xx

Well 8dpo and I didnt test for the first time ever! Thank you for all the no testing encouragement ladies, normally I feel sad all day and periodically stare at the negative test throughout the day to imagine a line that isn't there, but not testing just takes all that stress away! I know I'm late to the party as most of you already wait x

@Bugdem123 I think you are not alone and we all feel that with you, when you first find out you are pregnant you think ahead and dream/picture things depending on where your pregnancy/baby will be at that particular time of year and so then when you loose a baby you don't just loose it for there and then it's like all of your future dreams and plans dissappear with it. x

That's good @Haylsttc It's frustrating not knowing why it takes so long one time and not another, that's why I feel like I might try to do smep each month from now to hopefully give us the best chance of catching the egg x

@samilicious I would say cd13 is a very clear peak on those tests x

@samilicious I'd say there was a peak last month for sure! One step tend to show very little until there's a peak x

@GeorgeR28 yes you can use the old testers h tilt they stop working, I’ve definitely used mine for 2 cycles can’t remember if I’ve used them for 3. I tend to vary whether I buy the packs of 10 or 20 depending on whether I need a new test stick or not. With my very long cycles though sometimes I use up tonnes of sticks per cycle! X