Cd1 of ttc first cycle after loss... anyone want to join me? 🙂

[Ladyinpink1]

Hi 🙋‍♀️, just as the title says, I am now on cd1 of my first cycle after a loss at 11+4 (stopped growing just after a scan showing strong heartbeat at 8 -9w)

Feeling nervous but positive about a new cycle ...but finding it hard to think of anything else other than ttc 🙂

Happy for some company to obsess with over these next weeks x

Really slow to catch up on the conversation that’s been happening right in front of me but @Bali200 & @Oxalis00 I came off the mini pill in April and my MMC was in July, though nothing was said at either my scans or MVA about uterine lining.

Off to buy Brazil nuts tomorrow, thanks for the tip @Ladyinpink1 !

Can I join? I have a similar story to a lot of you. I had a MMC in June - discovered at 12 week scan and hadn't progressed past 9 weeks. The management of that was really difficult - I had a seizure and suffered a fracture in my back so wasn't ready to start trying for a couple of months.

Had a few unsuccessful cycles of TTC since - I've lost my standard ovulation signs so have invested in a BBT tracker and will be doing OPKs much more religiously this cycle. I also have a private fertility health check appointment scheduled later in November.

I have one daughter who will be 3 early next year and i was supposed to be due at Christmas and I just find myself being so angry and upset at all the lost time and the fact we should have been having a baby at Christmas. and our good friends are due 1st week in Jan and I'm trying to be happy for them but I feel I'm surrounded by pregnant people at the moment.

I'm also mid 30s, overweight and feeling like it's probably all my fault which i know is daft.

Hi ladies, mind if I join? I'm on CD3 of my first "proper" cycle post-MC - lost my first pregnancy in September at 9 weeks and was waiting (very impatiently) for my period to come back before starting TTC again. I see a few names on here that I recognise from the miscarriage support thread on the pregnancy loss forum too.

The background to my journey is that I spent a really long time deciding if having a baby was the right thing - it got to a point where I was almost completely paralysed by indecision - plus put the decision off because of Covid/lockdown/generally not being in a great place for making major life decisions. Came off the pill in spring this year and got pregnant in July - I was quite relaxed about it happening or not happening before that, but I think the loss has crystallised in my mind that it is definitely what I want, so can easily see how I might end up becoming completely neurotic this time around! I'm also 37 so can feel the biological clock ticking. Grateful for the company and somewhere to share confusions/stresses!

Welcome to the newcomers - so many similarities to our stories. I’m also 37 (snap @CluelessInLondon - though I’m almost 38) and was painfully ambivalent about this pregnancy until the choice was taken away from me… 😢 And snap @SunSparkle I also have a DD nearly 3, would have been due about now and have pregnancies around me that I’m finding hard... So sorry about your losses, both of you. I hope you find some company for the journey here.

I’m CD12 and OPK is on the up, so let’s see what this month brings!

Thanks @Oxalis00. Best of luck to you. I've got my period today so just going to focus on taking supplements and trying not to lose my marbles before our appointments later in the month. I have short cycles and a short luteal phase and have lost all signs of EWCM since my miscarriage. I'm hoping that the private consult can shed some light and maybe get a prescription for letropozole or clomid or even progesterone.

I'm trying to embrace an older age gap now - the chance for a small one has passed. I just really hope we get the chance to have a sibling for my daughter as she's desperate for a baby sibling and it's heartbreaking for me.

Welcome @SunSparkle and @CluelessInLondon, so many similarities (I also have a 3yr old and feel panicked by the growing age gap, even though I know being closer in age doesn’t mean a better relationship!). Wishing you lots of luck for this upcoming cycle and any appointments too x

@Wise0wl well if we have success any time soon we can attribute it to the nuts 🥜 😅 x

@SunSparkle I'm really sorry for your loss, that must of been awful physically as well as emotionally. I am also tracking bbt and doing opks it's good to know exactly where you are in your cycle x

I'm sorry for your loss @CluelessInLondon I understand the feeling of time marching on... we waited months tracking and getting "the right age gap" before ttc then have had 2 losses since starting to ttc so I feel annoyed now about that time I wasted. x

Just catching up as I haven’t been online in a few days.

@Ladyinpink1 @Bali200 I hope the Brazil nuts work for you both!

@SunSparkle @CluelessInLondon welcome to the thread, I’m so sorry about your losses ❤️ I’m hoping this cycle is a positive one for you both!

They didn’t mention anything to me about a thin lining either when I had my scans or MVA @Oxalis00 @Wise0wl so hopefully it’s not the case! Either way I am now stocking up on the Brazil nuts, thank you for the tip @Ladyinpink1 🫶🏼 and glad to hear you got your peak opk, I think it’s a good sign that this tied in nicely with your little break away as hopefully you’re feeling nice and relaxed x

A little update from me, I’m 9dpo and no sign of AF yet, temp is still high which is a great result for my LP. I have had a ‘heaviness’ feeling in my uterus the past two days but doesn’t feel like cramps, anyone else had this before?

How are you getting on @Haylsttc? x

Welcome @SunSparkle and @CluelessInLondon I’m so sorry for your losses.

@SunSparkle how long is your LP if you don’t mind me asking? Mine is also on the short side. I would love to hear how you get on at your private fertility check in November as I’m considering this myself x

@CluelessInLondon I totally understand your feelings, ttc for the first time after a loss is difficult (my pregnancy wasn’t planned) and can make you totally neurotic, last month was my first month ttc after my loss and I was devastated not to fall pregnant, even though the odds were so low. The hormones don’t help at all but feeling a lot more logical and reasonable this month luckily! X

Hi @Haylsttc Thank you, how are you getting on? x

@Bali200 Thank you, I hope so but I think I got a pos opk yesterday again and we were too tired to dtd yesterday so not sure if we have lessened our chances.
Yes! I don't want to give you false hope but in my last pregnancy the first thing I noticed was a feeling of fullness in the womb area! Either way it's great that your lp is definitely longer. So I wonder could this be your cycle 😀 Will you test or wait for AF? x

How is everyone else getting on?

The opk tests I was using up all have colour run so it's been hard to see, I remember someone recommending a brand earlier in the chat but have forgotten what it was but I definitely needing a dif brand for next cycle. Any recommendations (preferably not too expensive and in bulk) x

@Bali200 i think it’s about 8-10 days. I’m struggling to pinpoint ovulation at the moment but it’s definitely on the short side as I don’t ovulate at cd10 and my cycles are 22-24 days. They’ve been short since I got my period back at 8/9 months post partum. Before I had my daughter they were 28 days.

im going to have an amh test and pelvic ultrasound and talk about my short cycles and see what they recommend.

Morning @Ladyinpink1, I’m about 9/10 DPO - I think in a similar place in my cycle to you @Bali200? On the plus side, I was worried that my previous cycles were short and this one is already a day longer than my last cycle. But I also feel very anxious about AF coming and another round of disappointment, and anxious if it doesn’t and I have another non viable pregnancy. It’s unfair how a loss can steal so much hope and excitement isn’t it? So, lurking around here a lot until then. I think I’ll test at the weekend if no AF

I like easy@home @Ladyinpink1 - I really didn’t get on with One Step. They’re ok price wise I think, though ofc it depends how long you end up TTC for! It’s always tricky trying to figure out how many to buy. I never want to buy loads as surely it’ll happen soon?! 🤞🏼🤪

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B00F3IH58Y?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title

@Bali200 I had that 'heavy' feeling early on in my pregnancy - I started noticing it a couple of days after my BFP. Fingers crossed that it's a good sign for you.

Thanks everyone for the welcomes, it's nice to be able to share questions/anxieties - I try talking to my husband about this stuff but I just don't think he quite gets it! 😅

Urgh I'm feeling really flat today. I'm not sure ovulation tests are helping me and in turn I feel like I'm pressuring my DH 🤦🏻‍♀️ if we aren't successful this cycle, I think I will ditch them for the next one! On that note: is it possible to have 'low' readings and then have the surge one day and then straight back to low the next? Basically I didn't do any tests on Sunday as I was driving pretty much all day and my predicted ovulation day was yesterday but so far all the tests have been 'low' so I'm wondering if my peak was typically on Sunday... or is it possible to not get a peak at all?! I'm very new to OPKs (if you couldn't tell 😂)

@Bali200 @Ladyinpink1 thanks for checking in, I’m cycle day 24 today but I didn’t ovulate until cycle day 21 which is really late for me, I’ve no idea what’s going on! Worrying though as my cycles are usually only 28 or 29 days long so if that stays the same this month my luteal phase is going to be so short.

I also think I have Covid, symptoms started on cycle day 22 and i’m really unwell with it so that combined with the late ovulation makes me not feel very hopeful for this cycle 😔

@Bali200 I’ve never had the heaviness feeling but I’ve got my fingers crossed that it’s a good sign for you especially with your temps still being high!

@Ladyinpink1 I used Wondfo tests this cycle and I would recommend them! The control line is nice and dark so I think they give a more accurate result when comparing the test line. Whereas the last batch of easy at homes I’ve had the dye has been rubbish on them. I’ve linked the ones below I used

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wondfo-Ovulation-Accurate-Predictor-Pregnant/dp/B09T75WP5W/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=3GDEVU43PLHR8&keywords=wondfo+ovulation+test+strips&qid=1698756859&sprefix=wondfo+ov%2Caps%2C124&sr=8-4

@Wise0wl I completely feel what you said about being scared to get a negative test but then scared to get a positive too! It’s so hard knowing the anxiety won’t go away regardless of a positive test 😫

@Vic231 aw sorry to hear that! My partner isn’t a fan of the ovulation testing either, he knows I do it but I don’t tell him when peak is but I make sure we’ve hit the right dates without giving him the added pressure.

For me personally the day before peak is where the test line is almost the same colour as the control line, then peak day the test line is darker and then the day after peak is almost the same colour as control again. Although LH surges are different for everyone and some people do have a rapid surge I would keep testing (if you want to) as i’m not sure if you’ve hit peak yet.

I didn’t use opks last month but I wasn’t a fan of the not knowing 😂 but I would say if you don’t like them then ditch them, best to put your mental health first 😊

Thank you @Haylsttc I think I'll keep testing (to use up these strips and not buy anymore 😂) and see what the rest say... how often do you test a day? My cycles are actually pretty short - 21-23 days so i wouldn't be surprised if it surged on Sunday, the one day I didn't test! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Hey all & all the new joiners!
So many messages I can’t catch up on but I hope everyone is well! Where abouts is everyone in their cycles? I haven’t got a clue where I am. Tested last week and it was negative. I’ve had some cramps the last few days so I’m assuming AF will be coming soon but I’m not tracking and haven’t got a clue when it’s due because my cycles have been all over the place since my MMC. Doubt I’m pregnant this month as I’ve barely had sex, and OH struggled to finish (sorry tmi) a couple of times because he could hear the kids playing (quickie before he left for work lol) and I’ve been miserable. I’m going to buy some ovulation tests for next month and make myself feel better.

@Wise0wl You dont have long to find out then, hoping for good news! Yes I know what you mean, I keep hoping to fall pregnant but then the thought of when I do fall pregnant fills me with dread at having to go through the fear and loss again x

Thank you @Oxalis00 that sounds familiar, maybe it was you who recommended previously to me 🙂 I am going to order for next cycle. Yes I think one step is what I was using up. x

Yes it was me @Ladyinpink1 but I’ve never tried wondfo so maybe @Haylsttc is onto something!

Sorry you’re feeling miserable @Aaliyahrae - the emotional toll of TTC is huge. I’ve also found the pressure around DTD at the right time is no fun at all, and gets in the way for DH, and it’s hard to keep sane about it. I know people say take the pressure off but I just feel the weight of all this time wasted! Every time another month going by…

Hi @Vic231 Yes a surge for a day and then down again is possible... but keep testing just incase it's going to be a late ovulation. Sometimes my pos opks are 2 days or sometimes only 1/2 a day x

Just read your message @Haylsttc Thank you, I will check them out too... and your lp should be the same length as normal so if you ovulated on cd21 add your normal lp length onto that and it should be your cycle length this month. Sorry you haven't been well, I hope you don't feel too poorly x

@Aaliyahrae I'm sorry you aren't feeling good about things and how anoying for you not knowing where you are in your cycle. Hope things get clearer for you soon. And yes our dc have walked in and killed the mood a good few times, it's frustrating especially when you know it's the right time but you can't push it too much with the dh ahhhh why is it so tough for us. lol x

That’s completely how I feel @Ladyinpink1. I was so blindsided by my MMC that initially I wasn’t sure I wanted to try for another baby to rule out having to go through it again, but here we are.

Am trying not to symptom spot, have got some sort of pre-AF cramps this evening but also seem to be producing a bit of colostrum, which is weird. So not sure what to think…

I’m sorry @Aaliyahrae - the uncertainty is rubbish isn’t it x