2023 TTC 35+ Part 4

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread, ladies!!!!

Hope you can all find it.

Feel free to tag others to continue the conversation.

@LeopardLover so glad glastobaby is A-ok! Xxxx 💕

So happy for you @LeopardLover i bet you are relieved! Fingers crossed your symptoms ease up very soon 💕 xx

CD 3 for me here. Seriously heavy period for first two days now easing off. As you can see from the photo below, I am throwing everything and the kitchen sink at this cycle, may have gone a bit overboard 🤣 oh well! Also speaking to GP tomorrow as it’s been six months and I’m 37 so we’ll see. I’m very lucky because I’m in a position where I can go private if I need to but I haven’t spoken to GP about at all so far so I thought it was important to do that asap.

As always, baby dust to all ✨ not sure if anyone else is gearing up to go again this cycle like me?

@LeopardLover ah that is good news. Hope you get to the bottom of what's been causing all the pains though as not pleasant if that continues for you.

@MrsBP15 you're very well stocked up there! 😂

Just had my phone appointment with the recurrent miscarriage clinic. I'm being sent for a scan to check if there is anything obvious to see anywhere and will have bloods done. I'm also being given a prescription for progesterone that I can use as soon as I get a positive test. This part I'm thrilled about as it really seems to be a postcode lottery on whether you can have it so early or not.

@LeopardLover what an emotional day, glad you got to see baby ❤️ Hoping that the pain eases. Did the midwife or sonographer suggest why it might be happening ? as others have said this is your time to take time from work if you need it. The first trimester is very hard and sometimes when time off work is most needed (cramping, nausea, anxiety) your body is going through so much change.

thank you to the multiple posters who answered about fertility clinic referrals and sperm analysis. I have heard anecdotally that for 35+ it’s 6M+ of trying for a referral. Is it something that you need to wait for or do you think worth making an appointment sooner (I’m going in to cycle 4.)

@MrsBP15 lots of the same things I have perused this month! Interested in how you find the zita west cookbook as I am trying to get more nourishment into DH and I. He could definitely do with some improvements to his diet and can be reluctant when I serve up a Maca smoothie!! 😂

Hi everyone! Can I pick someone’s brain please, it’s kind of long winded but there’s a grey area I’m worrying about.

11/06 - MMC
22/06 - SMM (didn’t bleed much after)
06/07 - pains (got a scan) retained product at 1.5cm and got told it will pass. Along with 3 cysts on R ovary & 2 on L ovary.
23/07 - period (bright red, no clots) this ended on the 27/07.
30/07 - dark brown bleeding with little stringy bits it (TMI I apologise) with cramps.
31/07 - £150 private pelvic scan to confirm product still remaining but due to neg test it must be blood from surgery. and now only one 3cm size cyst on right ovary (keep getting cramps there today)

so my question is, now I have no HCG would it be possible to conceive? And if I did conceive would I be high risk of another MC due to retained blood? Has anyone fell pregnant with remaining products?

so sorry for waffling just feel this ordeal is getting me down as it’s never ending 😩 I hope everyone is ok x

I also missed out that the brown spotting and cramps are still happening from the 30/07 and not stopped yet and I’ve also had my HCG tested and it’s below a 5 x

@CurlyWurly1991 it's worth asking if you can have a referral, no harm in it.

@Chrissy1208 I was told to wait until I'd had a proper period after my mmc before trying again. I'd suggest waiting if you're still going through things. As you have retained product have they said you can have a surgical procedure? (Apologies if that's what SMM is as not sure on that abbreviation). Just seems like this has been ongoing for a long time for you.

Hi 👋🏼 I hope it's ok to join in. 37 years old, TTC#2 & 8DPO. TTC feels more intense this time, I'm worried as I'm getting older & DC is almost 4 so the age gap is getting bigger.
Good luck to everyone ✨

@LeopardLover yay glad you got to see baby!!! Hope your pain subsides soon 🤞🏻

@MrsBP15 that's quite the arsenal ahaha sending baby dust your way!!!

@RoseH36 hope tests give you more clarity if there is a reason for the MC's it's always good to know. Ideally of course I hope nothing is wrong and it's matter of keep trying. And glad you got progesterone, I always say it's what made it stick for me!!

Hi @ReginaPhalange12 !!
Welcome to the age gap club!! I posted something similar recently. whatever the age gap will be, I was told by the lovely group here, your kids will have a great relationship regardless. It will be whatever is meant to be for your family.
I'm 40 this month and stressing over all the issues we are faced with while TTC #2 and I was also so sad about the age gap being bigger and bigger with each passing cycle (DC is 18mos), but I'm trying to have a new mindset that I would love this baby no matter when he or she decides to join our family :)

@ReginaPhalange12 welcome! I'll be 37 this month also ttc #2. There are several of us on here all the same age so totally understand.

@VixFromThe6ix thank you, fingers crossed it helps me too 🙂

@Chrissy1208 hi and welcome!
I personally would wait till my period goes back to normal, but it is definitely possible to conceive before that as you could ovulate before your period. You would need to track ovulation in this case. Also, maybe I'm wrong but I don't think your body would conceive if there is remaining products since it thinks it's still pregnant. I could be totally misunderstanding what you mean here but I am assuming you're talking about tissue remaining after the MMC?

Hi @ReginaPhalange12 I am also 37 and in the ttc number 2 club. 1st is 21 months now and I had a MMC in June. I totally get the pressure ramping up now when we are a bit older. I am currently in 2ww already driving myself nuts 3 days into it 😂

@Eirlys1986 I'm sorry to hear about your MMC. The wait is horrible isn't it, I hope the next week or 2 brings you a BFP

@VixFromThe6ix you're right, it'll happen when it happens. Thank you for that, sometimes I get so caught up in months / age etc and I need to relax.

@ReginaPhalange12 welcome! Another one who's 37 and TTC no2! My little one turned 2 in Jan and I also wanted a smaller gap but, like others, choosing to trust that we will get the right gap for our family 😊

@LeopardLover so glad that you got to see Glastobaby still safe and snug. Hope they can get to the bottom of the pain for you too though as that sounds really unpleasant!

Halfway through the tww... Not quite sure what to think. Not feeling particularly pregnant but I've had a hopeful feeling the last few days that I can't shake and have been far more chilled than last month. So, just trying to enjoy that and hoping I don't turn into a psychotic lunatic over the next few days... 👀😂

@SnookyPook ah psychotic lunatic sounds familiar 😂 8DPO and BFN.
Good luck over the next few days, hope you get your BFP ✨

@Bumblebee413 and everyone else thanks for the kind words

@LeopardLover so glad you're OK but sorry for the pain you're going through :(

I'm out today - af arrived early making it a 26 day cycle - maybe it's the super moon... went shopping yesterday and dear lord I can't afford £100 a month for me and dh to have proceive! I got him some £25 supplements and I'm continuing on pregnaplan for now... I may try proceive for myself another month...

I reckon it's my husbands sperm which are struggling to get the job done - probably worsened by my old, hard eggs! We have always found it hard to conceive, with long periods of trying and only 1 miscarriage so I reckon his swimmers just aren't making it... maybe superstition but I feel like if egg quality were an issue I would have more mcs and cps...

Anyway, we don't qualify for ivf, we are in so much debt from childcare we can't consider it too... I think my plan will be to keep trying, and maybe in a year when we will have had time to financially recover (30 free hours kick in) maybe we could discuss ivf...

Do any of you know how much it costs on average privately??

Xx

@SnookyPook keep going! You're doing so well. Have to say I'm a lot more relaxed this month too but as it seems to take us 3 cycles each time to get pregnant I've already mentally ruled this one out so it's not really been on my mind.

@ReginaPhalange12 that's so early to test so still time. I don't test until around 13dpo.

@MOGMOGMOG85 sorry to hear AF has turned up early. That's expensive for proceive! I've been on pregnacare conception this month and not sure I'll continue on that as it's pricey.

Are you able to get his sperm tested? Not sure how others on here have managed it as on my call yesterday DH asked if there were any tests for him and he was told there aren't as they are all still in development so the best thing he can do is have plenty of supplements alongside fruit and veg.

Childcare costs are just extortionate aren't they? We could only afford 1 day at a childminder last year as I was starting my new business. So many times I contemplated a part time job to alongside it but wouldn't have been worth it as any earnings would have just gone to more childcare. As he's now 3 he's getting his 30 hours so he's at a pre-school 3 days a week and will do 4 days from September. Its term time only and school hours too so we're not having to pay a penny for him to be there now.

Hello. Can I come and join please. I will be 37 this month and ttc #3 have a 3 yo and 20 mo. I came off my pill 25 days ago. No withdrawal bleed so its a complete shot in the dark this month (pardon the pun) until AF arrives and then I can track and test. Reading the info for my particular pill the window of return to ovulation and periods is a huge range. So feel a bit at sea atm. Hows everyone else getting on this month?

@RoseH36 thank you - he had his sperm tested first time round and they were right at the lower end of normal. I guess we could do it again but I'm weighing up what's the point. He is really making the effort the last month or 2 to exercise, eat better, take supplements. He has put on weight (which for him is a good thing!). I guess if we test and find out they're OK it could maybe help us relax a bit and assume it probably will happen in its own time?? Wondering what others rationale has been in the same circumstances.

Yes the UK childcare system is absurd. When I went back to work it was for mental health reasons (and so necessary), and 100% of my wage went on commuting, childcare, and food where my husbands went 100% on mortgage and bills. Then my car broke - serially, and we stupidly panicked and threw good money after bad before bailing and buying a new one (rural house, car necessary to commute, wfh not an option for me). Then there was a food crisis, then our nursery put the fees up so 120% of my wage was necessary and bam we got into trouble. Thank god gvt has stepped in to make sure families won't be screwed like this (between 10 months and 3 years) again, and thank goodness for the current government mortgage support deal to allow us to get back on our feet before the free hours kick in. Anyway that's a whole other rant sorry! Xx

Hello to all the newbies - welcome to the party, may your time here be short, and if not may you find a supportive network of awesome women in the meantime! Xx

@VixFromThe6ix glad you're feeling a bit better about things, and have an appointment in mind to start looking towards options and solutions for your dh xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 I guess that's the thing with sperm, there's not a lot that can be done apart from changing diet and lifestyle and hope for the best. I know if DH found out it was that which may be causing problems he'd feel awful about it and that wouldn't help the situation so probably best off not knowing.

You've had it so tough.Women have just never been encouraged to return to work in this country when there's no financial help. Covid and rising bills have just made the whole situation even worse. I'm lucky that my self-employed business is wfh but its been hard going. I'm in my 3rd year of it now and the hard work is starting to pay off but juggling work with a child hasn't been easy. I hope the next year goes quickly for you so you can get your hours to give a bit of breathing space. It really does make a big difference.

@Aintthatthetooth hello 👋, I’m 37, ttc number 2 and currently 3-4 dpo and already going bananas 🍌
@MOGMOGMOG85 sorry to hear AF came along but at least you don’t have to worry about telling new job about a pregnancy straight away (every cloud…). Proceive is hideously expensive, I ran out a few days back and no way I’m considering buying more till I know I’m pregnant or not. Boots does routinely start doing 2 for 1 or 3 for 2 on it so still hideous cost but maybe slightly more acceptable. I’ll let us know on here if I ever see it on offer. We actually have my friend who was 40 at the time our leftover supplies for her and hubby when she was ttc her 2nd and 6 months no joy, within one cycle they had conceived twins! Probably a coincidence but we still joke it was the proceive max that did it.
@ReginaPhalange12 dont worry, I have been known to test at ludicrously early dpo before even 8dpo and I’m a doctor so really should know better 😂, I think I just kid myself that maybe I’ll be that random person who gets a positive at 6dpo. This cycle I am only testing with OH and he’s infinitely sensible so that should curb me a bit 😂

@RoseH36 I know, silly to test so early but I have a short LP and AF is due to arrive around 10DPO so was hoping for something.
I had awful cramps last night and this morning which do feel like AF cramps but we shall see.

Welcome @Aintthatthetooth and good luck ✨

@Eirlys1986 😂 I thought the same thing. I go from being so confident I test 6DPO to this definitely isn't happening this month. I love this TTC journey 😒😂