TTC a Rainbow...

[Halpmer]

Hello everyone. I thought I'd start a thread to see if anyone else is out there TTC their rainbow baby 🌈 and wants to join me?

Any loss is a valid loss here, early miscarriage, late miscarriage, chemicals, TFMRs etc. I know we can sometimes face judgement from others or have others not understand!

Thank you @Jessie30 that's such a lovely reply.

I'm going to delete the apps. I hardly ever post just find myself on there without really thinking about it which is terrible!

I know what you mean about people also being inconsiderate. When I had my TFMR at 25 weeks I was off work for 4 months. When I returned a colleague, who was pregnant at the same time came into the office and literally told me all about her birth, how the baby was etc and made no comment about what had happened to me. I literally stayed silent. If it happened now I would say something, in a nice way, about how I didn't want to hear but at the time I was just screaming inside.

My friends gave me some good advice going forward that I've taken on board. I'm so British 😂 but they said that not asking how her baby is isn't rude, it's just protecting myself, just keep the chat about work, she will have lots of people asking her how it's going etc that I won't need to and she won't exactly miss me asking x

Thank you, it's the not feeling alone which this group helps hugely with x

Oh you poor thing! UTIs are horrible, I used to get them all the time when I was younger too 😢
The only thing that helped me was the bicarbonate, a level teaspoon in a small glass of water twice a day. I hope it clears up soon xxx
https://bladderhealthuk.org/cystitis-utis-fowlerssyndrome/bc-treatments/self-help#:~:text=Alkalising%20the%20urine%20may%20help,for%20short%20periods%20of%20time.

@Vic231 oh my god I can't believe that about to our colleague, how totally thoughtless! It actually makes me a bit angry to hear that! But I try to remember that people must have like a happy blindness about their own pregnancy and babies and it's not (completely) their fault for being so happy that they don't think about how you must be feeling. Still, I really feel for you, that must have been so upsetting xx

i completely agree with your friends advice, definitely look after yourself over feeling obliged or any responsibility to anyone else.

I think this whole experience makes me think it's hopefully help me to be much more compassionate for other people when I eventually do get my baby (I hope!) as you never know who is struggling to get pregnant or even going through loss or uncertainty about babies future and the whole pregnancy broadcasting can be hard for people.

It's so crazy how little we discuss Mc and struggles in the open, it actually made me feel a bit like a leper at first. I'm so glad I found this thread as it helps so much to relate to each other 🤍🤍

@Jessie30 brilliant I'll try it does it taste bad? I'm quite funny with drinking things that don't taste nice 😂😂

Haha it tastes quite salty, try diluting in squash or if you have any berocca or juice or something! I usually have it in a half full glass of water and just down it as fast as possible, im better with it stronger and shorter. It's nowhere near as bad as having sambuca or something and not as bad as liquid gaviscon so definitely bearable, good luck! 🤞

@Jessie30 just had a read and unfortunately I won't be able to try it as I have chronic hypertension that i take meds for 🤦‍♀️ damn thing 😂 but thank you

Not as salty as a certain other salty liquid if you catch my drift 😅🤣
Liquid Gaviscon really reminds me of that one and I absolutely hate it! But bicarbonate is nothing like that

Oh no I'm sorry, bless you!

@Jessie30 the problem is now I have this I can't hold my urine long enough to do my LH tests either so I don't know if they've got any darker or not 🤦‍♀️ great timing haha but Im sure I know that I'm ovulating now.... I'm just a serial tester so it's nice to see on the strips 😂😂

Im the same, always looking for the strongest line!! Im also terrible at holding my wee, it must be from having UTIs in the past but I never want to hold it! I usually test after I've done a walk/run or workout as it dehydrates - that helps!

@Jessie30 ah good idea, I've managed to hold it for 2.5 hours so far but Google says 4 is best 🤯

One positive of our loss is teaching my husband to be less "British" about things. (I wasn't born here)

His mate rang him to announce his wife's pregnancy... he apparently felt comfortable telling my husband early because "they know how we feel because they thought they were losing the baby at 10 weeks but found out everything was fine". Apparently wife spotting at 10 weeks is the equivalent to our MMC in this man's eyes.

I love plenty of British things, but HATE allowing someone to be oblivious or rude and not be held to account.

Help girls..... All the Hearts are days we've DTD... Do we need to do it tomorrow too to cover ourselves? We are tired 😂😂😂 but flo app says OV is tomorrow... I doubt it coz I've felt it today 🤞

@Kellyaust I would... but by the looks of it you've done very well 🙌🏼

(Things you didn't think you'd be saying before TTC 😂)

@Vic231 i think I might just so my head is clear I've tried everything possible.... Funny thing is tonight he was leaving for a night's work after working all night lastnight so he was exhausted.... He had mega acid heartburn, I have a raging UTI.... So we really struggled through it 😂😂😂😂 but we were champions 🙈😂😂🤞

Ah @inthewest that sounds so frustrating! I hope your husband is ok, how upsetting to have someone say that to him!

@Kellyaust i think your hearts look great! I've heard that before ovulation is actually better than on the day and you've hit almost every day in your fertile window, go on girl! If you feel up for it tomorrow go for it, but if not I think you've done great anyway. The month I fell preg I only dtd 2 times in my window, so it's always a gamble. I think forcing it can sometimes add stress but that could be just me xx

@Jessie30 yes we only did it twice on day before peak and peak when we last fell pregnant... But I think I'm panicking this time n covering every possibility 🙈 we will see if the hard work paid off.... If not I think I'll go for the relaxed approach again..... We do have high sex drives but this has really took it's toll.... Feel like a champion 🙈😂🤞

@Kellyaust I'll be panicking this time too, the hearts looked good but I'd still be covering all bases this month just in case - as you say, then you know you've done everything you can.

@inthewest I think I've become less British about things too! The perspective I've gained has been great for giving fewer f's about other people's feelings when they've clearly given zero consideration to my own.

@Halpmer yes definitely, I can't wait for a break tbh... Officially 1 dpo today 🤞

Good luck @Kellyaust ! You've certainly given it your best attempt! 🤞🏻🌈

@SnookyPook thank you 💖

Happy weekend all, I hope it's a good one ❤️

This thread has been one of the best decisions I've made recently! Thanks for all the support and I hope we can continue to support each other and offer a nice safe space for everyone.

@Halpmer really glad you started this thread 🥰 All good here - hope you're having a nice weekend too!

Loooovvveee this thread! Hoping we all get our rainbows 🌈💖🤞