TTC a Rainbow...

[Halpmer]

Hello everyone. I thought I'd start a thread to see if anyone else is out there TTC their rainbow baby 🌈 and wants to join me?

Any loss is a valid loss here, early miscarriage, late miscarriage, chemicals, TFMRs etc. I know we can sometimes face judgement from others or have others not understand!

@Halpmer congratulations!! I'm praying for the stickiest of jelly beans for you!! ✨✨

Oh @Daniki that's so hard I'm sorry 😔 have you seen any doctors about not being able to conceive since? That's my biggest worry, I've just had my second missed miscarriage and I'm terrified I won't get pregnant again x

@dan you poor thing that's horrible. Sending lots of hugs 🤍

@Kellyaust im sorry your ovulation has changed the routine, it must be really unsettling. Our bodies have a mind of their own sometimes. Completely get that you'd feel like having a break - you can always change your mind and come back to it whenever you feel ready. We'll all here whatever you decide xxx

Sorry meant to tag @Daniki above

@Jessie30 it's just typical isn't it all those years then when I need it most it changes 🤦‍♀️ but thank you. DH wants to still try... We will see

@Kellyaust after my first Mc I was obsessed for the 3 months trying to catch my own 'enhanced fertility' and I was so gutted when I 'failed' each month, then by the 4th month I sort of had given up - we were still dtd around every 2 or 3 days as a sort of routine but I had mentally checked out, and that's when I fell preg again. I do think sometimes it's when we stop feeling like we're trying, I think stress and cortisol has a big part to play. So maybe having a mental break could be good, and just treating it as sex rather than anything more heavy. I wish I could have this attitude again!

this month I argued with dh just before ovulation and was super upset about that, we managed a couple of times but still super stressed about it.

Even tho I know I'm 95% not pregnant, I had very vivid dreams last night and got a bit overexcited and hopeful today and tested this morning, at only 8dpo 😅😅😅 it was a negative as expected. I hope I just needed to get it out of my system and don't keep getting the urge now!

sending you all positive vibes on a cloudy wet day (at least here) xxx

@Jessie30 exactly that's what I've been like too.... All the "quick you're super fertile" comments... Really have not helped me whatsoever because I've become obsessed and severely depressed over it. Me and dh argued at the end of OV last month we had dtd wayyyyy too much and we're both exhausted and after that I said no way... Never again, now I'm just doing it as and when we want which is usually every 2 days ish. Try and get the fun back we had in Feb when we conceived!

We too have argued around OV and it's even more upsetting than usual so I get that... I've promised myself no more testing until at least the day before AF is due.... And no more symptom spotting coz I don't remember having any symptoms before my BFPs in the past but I've had loads this past cpl of months which shows its hormonal not pregnancy!

It's actually sunny here for a change!!

Morning all! Sorry to hear that some are really struggling. This journey can be so hard, especially after a loss. Sending a big hug to all who need one.

I'm in a bit of limbo myself. AF was due yesterday. Usually like clockwork and still nothing. However did a test yesterday afternoon which was extremely negative. Not even a whiff of a shadow. Have some pre-period type crampy feels and I did think I maybe ovulated a day later than my app showed (maybe closer to the 24-36hr mark after my peak) which would mean more likely for today... So going to hold off today and see if she appears. Slight element of hope to hold on to is that my previous pregnancies were both detected after AF due at 14 and 15dpo and were squinters, so I'm not sure if they'd have shown earlier. I'm 13/14dpo today so if she doesn't appear I'll test tomorrow and who knows. Really don't know how likely it would be though to be completely negative at 12/13,dpo and then get a BFP! We'll see.

I'm currently on day 6 of flashing smiley - starting to get frustrated! I now have a Mira tester which gives me actual values of LH so intrigued to see what my actual levels are and what my chart looks like in detail! I know I shouldn't be so desperate after my mmc but I'm so worried I won't get pregnant again :( today I'm off for a thyroid blood test to see if that's having any impact on being able to keep a pregnancy.

I'm in the same boat.
I had a late miscarriage in January. And my cycles have been well off. This cycle I'm on day 37 with some period like cramps. But no af . I tested last week big fat negative. Really wanting to have our rainbow baby :(

Thanks ladies. Iv an appointment booked with the specialist I seen in feb for September and I'm on the cancellation list of something comes up quicker. I did have a chemical in may so there's that 😖 will see what she says! I'm 35 in November and just feel like it's all a ticking time bomb--horrible feeling!!

@Kellyaust thats a good plan, get back to having fun with it! I'm exactly the same with symptoms, and didn't have them when I really was pregnant. At least we're not alone in our madness!

@SnookyPook and @Ttc2n i really feel for you both ❤️ all the random cycle changes are so annoying when you're trying.

@moosey89 I had the same with the fear of it never working again, it's horrible. It's a natural response to feel that, but it doesn't mean it's going to come true. I hope your test goes well 💚 I use the Premom app for ovulation if you haven't tried that, it gives your levels a score compared to the control line, but I don't know how actually scientifically accurate it is.

@Daniki yes same, I hate the time pressure feeling! I look for stories of people who've had kids over 40 to cheer me up! Haha

@Jessie30 I haven't tracked ovulation yet and I can't decide whether to or not! I've downloaded the pre mom app and thinking if we're not lucky this month then I'll order some for the next cycle. But I'm also pretty sure the window in which I ovulate so I can't decide! Is it when you get the highest reading then you are ovulating there and then or in a few hours?

My cycles are generally 23/24 days; AF straight into fertile week, then TWW. I'm not sure if the strips will send me even more crazy 😬😂

Hi everyone, hope you’re all feeling ok. I’m finding today really difficult 😞 I went back to work today but I just don’t feel 100% ready. I can’t really concentrate and feeling really sad. Luckily I work from home though so it’s so bad. I’ve booked myself a pelvic scan for in a couple weeks to check everything, like my womb lining thickness, ovaries, follicles. Hopefully that goes well. I just want to know that everything is ok down there, it’s such a horrible feeling thinking there’s something wrong with me that I can’t control 🥺

@Jessie30 you're so right - there's no reason it won't happen but it just plays on your mind doesn't it. The major issue for me is that my parnter struggles to finish so having sex to get pregnant isn't really an option as there's a 90-95% chance he wouldn't actually ejaculate even if we time sex. So we have to use home artificial insemination kits, which makes tracking super important as we can't use them every other day throughout the month, that would be insanely expensive!

We try to do one day in the lead up, one on peak opk day, and one the day after. Which is also why I've put a time limit on how long we'll try again before going to the doctor, as IUI would be a real option for us (giving it until Feb, 8 cycles, at which point I turn 35 anyway so after 6 months would be eligible for tests etc).

@Vic231 you ovulate around 12-36hrs after you get a peak opk :)

@moosey89 ooo ok thank you! Knowing it's not happened that second makes me feel better as I would hate to feel so time pressure to DTD! However I won't need to try next month as I'll be pregnant this month (sending out positive vibes ✨😂)

@naggy095 I'm sorry you're having a hard time 🤍 definitely take it easy at work. Do they know anything about your situation? I hope they are very understanding and you can ease back in gently. And I hope the scan comes back and gives you peace of mind of not anything else. Whatever the result is, it's nothing you've done wrong or anything wrong with you. It's so easy to feel like that but you did everything right.

@moosey89 that makes total sense, extra complexity means there's more to think about. I had no idea you could even do the kits at home, im impressed!

@Vic231 fingers crossed this is your month 🙏🤞
i think tracking is a double edged sword! It can help you feel more in control but it also can get obsessive (depending on your personality type!) so if you're very regular and know when you ovulate it might not be as helpful. For me, it helped because I didn't know I actually ovulated quite late and had a short luteal phase, so I was dtd too early in the cycle at first! And I got some tablets to even out my luteal phase which helped. I think I'll try and stop in the next couple months if it gets too much though. I was not tracking on either of the times I fell pregnant, and this makes me think it might stress me out a bit without me knowing it 😅

it's all a complete unknown tho as to why it works or doesn't sometimes isn't it. We will get there eventually just have to hold out.

@Jessie30 the things you learn exist when you need help is amazing 😂it's definitely more complicated, but wierdly both more and less stressful at the same time. Takes pressure off my partner having to ejaculate on demand, but makes timing a real detailed thing. Pros and cons!

@Vic231 those are the sort of good vibes I need! 😂

@Jessie30 thank you 💕 my line manager knows but she didn’t say a thing to me today. I’m actually entitled to 2 weeks paid leave as per company policy regarding pregnancy loss but I didn’t feel I needed it. My GP on the other hand called me today to see how I was and she’s been amazing. She’s requested for me to have some blood tests to check for blood clotting disorders and oestrogen levels and also said if I become pregnant again she’ll get me to have a blood test to check progesterone and then refer me to EPAU for an early reassurance scan. Feeling very lucky I have an understanding and compassionate GP

@naggy your GP sounds fantastic. It can make such a difference having someone so supportive in your corner! Sorry your struggling with work. I took a while to get my head back in the game after my loss. Just go gently on yourself and if you do need a bit more time then don't be afraid to take it. Sending you big hugs. X

@naggy095 that's brilliant your GP is so supportive. Have you had 3 losses now then?

@moosey89 not 3 only 1. I’m just very lucky to have a GP who’s willing to help straight away. She did say to wait for me to have a full cycle before trying again but I just want to start straight away.

@naggy095 that's amazing - most won't touch it until after 3 because that's what the "advice" has been. Really pleased your GP is looking after you. I'd love to know what tests are being done for you - I've had 2 losses now so am pushing my GP to do as much as possible as the guidelines have changed super recently and now say you should have bloods after 2 x

Wow @moosey89 thats fantastic! My docs are the same and only do it for 3 mcs, except for thyroid test I think - I haven't had that yet though.

My PMS has hit me, very weepy! 😭

How is everyone else feeling?