2023 TTC 35+ Part 3

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread!!!

The other one filled in so quickly. I'm happy that many of you are finding this space supportive and helpful.

Hey girls i was added to all these threads from the get go but fell to the wayside gettin caught up in my own lil ttc mess. Basically turned 38 the other day .. movin onto my 6th cycle ttc #2 dd is 7. Ive had 2 chemicals in the past 3 cycles and yeh finding this time round very very tuff. Got my faint line the other day an day after literally started to bleed an this ones a bad one 😔 honest honest question here .. do i bother puttin myself n hubby thru any tests? Ive just rang the dr this morn for a callback xx sorry to bother you all with this essay xx

Hi @Freya8 so sorry to hear about how tough things have been so far,3 losses/chemicals is hard. You are definitely right to contact GP (I am one!) on two fronts. 1 - the fact you have now had 3 early losses (assuming this latest bleed represents a definite end to this pregnancy- I am sorry) and therefore you qualify for recurrent miscarriage investigations and clinic, also being over 35 and trying for 6 months does warrant some fertility investigation but your GP may feel the miscarriage investigation route is more appropriate as you are getting pregnant but sadly things are not progressing. Again, I am so sorry, this is awful. If you feel unhappy after your call or want to ask anything about what GP says feel free to message me on here or privately x

@Kellyaust @Eirlys1986 @SnookyPook I couldn't taste the difference between decaf with mo sugar and normal tea with sugar, my taste buds must be odd 🤣 coffee I've never liked but do like coffee flavoured things like chocolate

@Kellyaust no need to apologise, I'm exactly the same. I've always been a pessimistic person so struggle sometimes to find positives in a situation.

@Scarletthoping welcome 🙂

@Freya8 sorry to hear you're having a tough time too. Definitely worth speaking to them. I'm waiting for an appointment for gynae to see if I can have tests done.

@Scarletthoping hello 👋 😊, how exciting! Sorry it probably looks very gloomy on here this morning but I promise we do all have some fun too! How old are you? If you don’t think me too rude for asking! Xx

@Eirlys1986 thank you so much for your reply ❤️ yes bleeding quite heavily now and much more painful. Guess im scared the gp will tell me im past it even though i dont feel it mentally its jus my body is lettin me down so to speak. The gp is due to ring back today so i will definately let you know wats offered im a bit clueless i guess bloods would be a start? Xx

Thank you @RoseH36 jus decided to reach out to you gals to maybe convey everythin whirlin round in my head! Heres hoping you get ur appointment soon xx

@Freya8 yes bloods is a starting point for both recurrent miscarriage and fertility assessment. You are not by any means “past it”! It may genuinely be that you’ve been horridly unlucky or it may be that there is something underlying these recurrent losses that needs looking at.
Im so sorry the bleeding is heavy and painful. Hope you get your call and some answers soon. X

Hello, aww don’t worry. That’s understandable.

Not rude at all. I’m 38. 39 in October.

how about you? Xx

I forgot to tag you in the above @Eirlys1986 (new to mumsnet!)

I just saw you’re off to a miscarriage clinic today. I’m so sorry for your losses. Hope they can get to the bottom of what’s happening xxxx

@Scarletthoping Im 37. Have a 20 month already but sadly had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks around 3 weeks ago. A long story but the miscarriage clinic was a freebie private appointment as the clinic who did my 8 week scan boobed and sent me reminders for later scan appointments despite them knowing that I had miscarried so when I complained they offered me the free appointment by way of apology which was nice. I actually went yesterday, it was as expected really. 25% change of loss at our age sadly and it’s most likely this baby was genetically not viable from the start and just one of those things- doesn’t make it any less sad for me but is of some comfort moving forwards. I may be taking cyclogest progesterone pessaries in a future pregnancy but just trying to finalise whether I will actually do this or not. Probably will but need to check I can breast feed on it as my 20 month old is still attached to his booby bar 😂

@Kellyaust no need to apologise lovely! As @Eirlys1986 said, there is very much an element of 'fake it till you make it' sometimes with my optimism! We're all in it together and any feelings are valid!

I spoke with my own GP this morning for the first time since my loss. I rang because of the boobie leakage last night (can't remember if it was this thread I mentioned it on but basically, had a tiny amount of what looked like colostrum and wasn't sure what was going on) - she was such a lovely doctor. Not dismissive at all and genuinely empathetic and lovely about my loss too. She also made a point of saying (when I indicated I know maybe there'll be more issues because of my age) that there was absolutely no reason that I shouldn't have another healthy baby and plenty of women older than me have them all the time. So that was nice 😊

Welcome @Scarletthoping ! Nice to have you on board 😊

@Freya8 so sorry you're having a tough time of it. If you can bear to, some tests might be helpful, just to get a better understanding of what might be causing the issue. Are you being given progesterone? My sister had 3 early losses in a row and then was given progesterone pessaries and told to start then the minute she had a hint of a positive and she had had two successful pregnancies (and no more losses) since... So sometimes it's something very simple to tweak! 🤞🏻

@SnookyPook that’s great, I’m so glad you’ve had a positive appointment with the GP
Actually just checked re:cyclogest pessaries in pregnancy when breastfeeding after responding to @Scarletthoping and they are a no no with booby bar visits. I think at present I likely won’t use them but will discuss with OH. Don’t want to stop BF especially as consultant assured me early miscarriage has no association with breastfeeding at all. I think had I had more than one loss I would use them. Will have a think

@Eirlys1986
Oh my god. I am so sorry the clinic did that. That must have been horrible on top of the loss itself. So glad you complained though! 25% is such a high number really. They definitely didn't teach us that in sex education at school.
That's interesting that they don't advice using the pessaries while breastfeeding but guess the hormone could get into the milk... In case helpful, I've just been listening to a podcast about improving progesterone levels naturally - it was Don't tell me to relax podcast and the episode was released on 9th Feb and was called Luteal Phase and Progesterone and why this is important for fertility. I didn't realise we could have so much impact on our hormones by the things we eat etc Xx

Thanks @Scarletthoping that’s really helpful, I will have a listen 🎧 xx

Evening all, I’m back from my ivf adventures… we ended up with 12 eggs then 6 fertilised and 5 made it to blastocyst. 4/5 are top quality too. I’m 38 (39 next month) & we’ve been trying for our first for 18 months.

Why can we create top embryos but can’t get pregnant naturally? 😩

I had my transfer yesterday so I’m now in the 2WW and test on the 18th. I hope time flies.

@FiddleLeaf This is so exciting and sounds very positive over all. Fingers crossed for you! Bet the 18th can’t come soon enough but imagine you are nervous for then too! Xxx

Hi just joining this thread.

38 a month ago, 6 months into trying, period due in 2 days, took a test a few days ago - negative - and believe it, even though it was too early to test.

My hormones are through the roof this month I'm angry with everyone, but feel very un-pregnant.

I began trying at 32! Took 16 months to conceive first time around, missed miscarriage, then 6 months to conceive son who is now 2.5. Waiting to conceive my son was hell, I really hope i don't get so consumed in it this time. Has been ok so far but only been 6 months...

I worry about my husbands sperm quality as it wasn't great before but now we are older and less healthy!

Currently on sertraline for post partum depression- tried coming off, it was hell. Worry that meds may affect my fertility even though they say they don't!

Hi to everyone, mumsnet really helped me when I was pregnant with my son after a miscarriage, it can really help to know you're not alone! Xxx

@MOGMOGMOG85 I'm glad you have joined and it's good to hear your journey so far.
@FiddleLeaf wishing you so much love, luck and Baby Dust.

Thank you ladies, you too!

@FiddleLeaf oh how exciting - everything crossed for you! Hope the tww doesn't drag tooooo much 🤞🏻🤞🏻

@MOGMOGMOG85 welcome! Sorry you've struggled a bit. Hopefully we can provide some good company for this part of your journey 💕

@FiddleLeaf that's very good outcome! 🤞🏻 now patience and hopefully it is a sticky bean ❤️

Morning all. Lots of tough things going on for people. Really appreciated your support the other day. Realised pre period hormones really not helped, can often feel a bit down then.
@Eirlys1986 have never had a miscarriage, our problems are getting pregnant, or have been, but can imagine it's devestating. Must feel different for you than partner. I often process things by talking maybe your partner is different.
@SnookyPook glad your GP was nice

@FiddleLeaf good luck! Hope time goes quickly for you.

@MOGMOGMOG85 so sorry you've had such a long journey, I hope its not long before you get your second. Have you had any tests done at all? With sertraline, did you just stop taking it? If you did then you need to speak to your gp about slowly lowering the dose. I stopped mine and felt absolutely horrendous so took it again. Spoke to the gp who told me how to lower the dose gradually to come off it.

@MOGMOGMOG85 welcome and sorry to hear about your struggles. There is so much that we carry on this TTC journey and much of our pain goes hidden because of the taboos and social pressures around fertility.
I have spent the last few days squinting at BFNs and wondering if I felt pregnant only for that familiar buildup of AF symptoms to crash my mood back down last night, so I’m back at the start of another cycle. I haven’t been trying long for my second but took so long after my second child to build up the courage / financial stability that now I worry it’s too late. I’m 37 and my DH is 45.
I don’t know if anyone has listened to 28ish days later on bbc sounds? It’s not about TTC specifically more around the menstrual cycle overall but it is a fascinating look at the hormonal shifts and science as well as many of the inequalities in womens health. Well worth a listen!

*took so long after my first child

Hey @SnookyPook no unfort not been given anythin yet at all yest was the first time i called the dr who has arranged for 21 day progestrone test to be done i take it if that is low in anyway maybe they can give me what ur sister had to maybe keep a little bean in there fingers crossed anyways as i do hava feelin this lies with me bein the issue. Im so sorry for your loss and im glad you got a sympathetic dr yesterday, im in ireland n that can be touch and go! Xx
@MOGMOGMOG85 i was on sertraline myself before i had my daughter and stupidly went cold turkey comin off it. The mind zapps i got and symptoms were insane i got thru it by blamin preg hormones but i do not reccomend doing wat i done at all! My friend is due her baby next month and shes on it too an they kept her on it. It in no way hindered her fertility xx