2023 TTC 35+ Part 3

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread!!!

The other one filled in so quickly. I'm happy that many of you are finding this space supportive and helpful.

I've been to the GP this morning, as I already have a child they won't be referring me to fertility. She basically said I'm doing all the right things with vitamins I'm taking and weight loss (lost 1 and a half stone since my mmc in January). Did say we'd tried again this month but she's said that if I'm not pregnant again then to wait 3 cycles before trying again to give my body time to properly heal. Also to get a smear booked in around 10 weeks time if I'm not pregnant (overdue with that but they really hurt me and I've had a couple of awful past experiences which have put me off). The GP was really lovely though and will double check with another colleague that she isn't missing anything but at this stage it's a case of staying relaxed and waiting.

@RoseH36 sounds like quite a positive visit and like she was sympathetic etc. Do you feel ok about potentially waiting a few months to try again? Amazing job on the weight loss btw! Sounds like you really are doing all the right things so everything crossed!

@SnookyPook not really but if it could be something as simple as my body needing time to recover then so be it. Just hate that I'll be getting nearer to 38 by the time we then have another and the age gap between them is getting bigger all the time.

Thank you, the booking in appointment made me alter my diet after being told I'd need higher dose folic acid and from 28 weeks I'd need blood thinning injections weekly so that gave me the kick I needed. My weight now puts me back in a healthier bmi 😀

@RoseH36 sounds like she was fairly sympathetic which is good. Has she got the wrong end of the stick though? You weren’t asking for a referral to fertility services(in which case yes, you can’t have ivf on nhs due to having a child already), you wanted a referral to recurrent miscarriage clinic which is a different thing. It’s obviously entirely upto you and what you feel comfortable with but it may be worth clarifying that point with them 100% if you think the GP may have been confused

@Eirlys1986 she did seem very sympathetic, her daughter has gone through this herself so she understands how hard it can be. As she deals with women's health day-in, day-out she's told me to request my smear with her. She had a bad experience once herself so really understood my concerns and was shocked I'd been told last time to not bother going through a natural birth as I wouldn't cope! It's no wonder I've delayed going back.

I wonder if she did misunderstand as miscarriage clinic never came up in conversation, she only mentioned fertility clinic 🤔

Just had a call from the doctors, the nurses colleague has decided I should be referred to gynae for further investigations 😀

@RoseH36 oh that's great! Hopefully a chance to get some more answers 🤞🏻

@SnookyPook hope so! Glad she had a colleague to check with as clearly she thinks it's worth me being seen. I know there's a chance there's no cause behind it but then at least I'd know.

@RoseH36 That's good news! Like Snooky said, hopefully it'll lead to some answers xx

oh @RoseH36 thats good news and at least makes u feel like if there is something it’ll be good to know early on & take action. I’m sure it’ll all be fine but it’s a nice ease of mind ❤️

Aunt Flo is in town and she's not welcome! 2 days early. 6 cycles of TTC in total but one of those I definitely didn't ovulate as it was only 17 days. Feeling deflated. Aged 38 TTC #1

@Angelsrose I’m sorry, I can understand feeling deflated for sure. If it’s any comfort to you at all absolutely infuriating/annoying and upsetting as it is it is expected for things to often take longer once we are in the over 35 club. The natural pregnancy rate in the 35-39 age group is around 60% at one year and 85% at two years. I know figures and statistics are of scant comfort btw, I have been pissed off by figures since recent MMC as they mean nothing when you are in that low percentage group that something crappy happens to. I know today you are likely to just feel so disappointed as main feeling but moving forwards to be proactive and rekindle the hope is there any factor of ttc you feel you could modify in any way? Timings or frequency of intercourse/vitamins/pro sperm lubes/moon cups to hold sperm in place longer etc? (I’m sorry if everything I am suggesting you have done anyway as I know we all are so invested in trying everything on here. Hugs x

@Angelsrose Sorry to hear that, it's so rubbish isn't it 😔 I hate it when AF comes early! I like to at least pretend I could be pregnant a little longer 🙈 sending you lots of love! I know 6 months probably feels like an eternity but I hope the stats @Eirlys1986 provided help a little. I didn't know these but I'll keep them in mind for the future. X

Thanks so much @Eirlys1986 and @LeopardLover your kind words have really helped. It is easy to forget the stats when everyone around me seems to fall pregnant so easily even over 35. I could certainly do with losing a stone, I've lost about the same amount since January. I haven't tried any pro-sperm lube yet but I'm willing to try anything that may help! I did try vitamins and CoQ10 but the month I tried them disrupted my cycle so I'm not keen to try them again. I've had some bloods which are reassuring. I think the next step is for my partner to get checked too.

@Angelsrose getting partner checked is wise, when I had my son we were one cycle away from getting my partner checked as I was 35 then and had been trying 6 months and then it happened. I had whacked us both on proceive max for old men and women that month 😂. I know some people have reported the proceive altering their cycles though, I can’t say I saw that for me but we are all different. Weight loss might help optimise things but please don’t feel it’s the be all and end all either as I definitely need to lose weight (BMI around 27-28 I think at present) but it was higher when I conceived my first and had a perfectly healthy pregnancy as many people do. It’s so natural to try to seek answers when we want something so much (have just been looking at my own bloods from my surgery this morning and so far everything is plumb perfect which is lovely but also means I just have to accept the miscarriage was one of those things and hopefully an example of Mother Nature doing what was right at the time). First time of ttc I always found it helpful when entering a new cycle of trying to just adjust/tweak something, try something new/differently as it always gave me a renewed sense of optimism and hope and helped keep me positive I think. X

Thanks so much @Eirlys1986 I truly appreciate the time you have taken to reply and what you're saying makes perfect sense. Thanks again, it really means a lot.

@Angelsrose x😊

@LeopardLover @DmcinT thank you, just nice to know I've been taken seriously too and not just fobbed off.

@Angelsrose sorry to hear that, its always a disappointing arrival when you're TTC, fingers crossed you have a breakthrough soon x

Thanks @RoseH36 ❤️

I think I’m pregnant. CD 38, no period, very tender boobs, low appetite/ feeling full and occasional waves of nausea. Which is pretty much how it was last time.

Only 5 days until my DH is home and there’s nothing I’d do differently, so just going to wait and see. I think I’m as certain as I can be in the absence of a test though. My body feels different. This year with him being away and the fact that we had our daughter completely in the depth of Covid and this potentially being our last one, I want whatever I can of it to be special. I’d really like to officially find out with him here rather than over a webcam. I want to be able to hug him.

Fingers crossed I’m not getting carried away. I did have a BFN on CD 30, so who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Bumblebee413 arrghhh this is so exciting! I really hope you are correct, it definitely sounds highly suspicious at present doesn’t it? I hope the next 5 days go as quickly as they can for you and there is a joyful hug and BFP celebration for your and OH at the end of it xxxx

@Eirlys1986 I just wanted to say you're so wonderful! I hope that doesn't come off as creepy but I can tell your friends and patients are very lucky to have you 🥰

@Bumblebee413 Eeek, that sounds so promising! I love that you're going to wait for your husband 😍 keep us all updated! X

Oh guys. I’m such a dork. AF has just arrived in spectacular force. No warm up, just a lot of blood. I had such a happy 24 hours deluding myself- I even looked at big sister t shirts.

Right. Cocktails tonight and looking forwards to Wednesday. Thank you so much for your lovely messages @Eirlys1986 and @LeopardLover, I cherished them for the final 45 minutes of my alternative universe 😂 Going to have to go find some unicorn tears, wait for the super healthy life cycle and enter the valley or torment a wiser woman 🤞🏼

@Bumblebee413 Oh noooo! Meh! Well, at least you had a very happy 24 hours and now you have cocktails to look forward to!! 💜 That sounds like the best plan 🤣🦄💦

Morning all,
@Eirlys1986 glad the private clinic was suitably apologetic and no harm in the consultant appointment.
@Mrsspoon3 what a tough week or so. Hope OH is agreeable to counselling. I too have a high needs little one, being out is helpful and I can't imagine also looking after a dog and not going out for more than 2 hours at a time.
@Elen123 that is just amazing news! So pleased for you after reading your story!

We are in 2 week wait (2 weeks of doom?!), Dpo 7. I never mind period coming early as it means 2 less days of wondering once I've got over the I'm not pregnant feeling. Also feel like I have saved money on tests!

Never tried conception vitamins. I am taking pregnacare for breast feeding as still feeding toddler and think it has correct folic acid in. Wonder about putting OH on something but GP didn't suggest. OH is pretty healthy though.