2023 TTC 35+ Part 3

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread!!!

The other one filled in so quickly. I'm happy that many of you are finding this space supportive and helpful.

Haha 😂 @Un7breakable neither was I with my first pregnancy with my son and obviously got scanned at 8 weeks in this latest pregnancy too. I think most people go early nowadays to be honest

@Eirlys1986 Glad it's not just me. DP thinks I'm obsessive. Didn't want to go too early but then away for Week 7, he's just like wait till 12 weeks. Nope, not happening.

@Un7breakable totally understand why you would want an earlier scan. I think if I’m lucky enough to get a bfp and up to 8 weeks I will do the same. It’s just so long to wait until 12 weeks isn’t it.
my news is… waiting for ov and have had my first ever higher Opk reading - not a positive but a decent peak. Chuffed with that as not even sure I’m ovulating - fingers crossed it actually leads to an egg being released and I see it in my chart.

To wait till 12 weeks scan?? 😱😱😱😱😱 no way! Totally with you 😊

@CurlyWurly1991 🤞🤞🤞🤞

Just wanted to say that each of you ladies is inspirational and I’m very glad I’m here x

Ahhh @Bumblebee413 💕, I feel exactly the same about you all. Think I may have totally lost my shizzle over the last week without you all!
@Un7breakable OH will totally change his tune when it’s the day of your 8 week scan, you should just josh him and announce on the day you decided to take his advice and cancel it and just wait till 12 weeks, then we shall see if he thinks it is not too long to wait 😆

Ok, I’m back in the game! We’ve got DP’s sperm analysis back and he’s got lots of sperm, I think! THANK FUCK! It was his birthday too- glad I didn’t have to dump him, it would have been awkward 🤦‍♀️
can anyone help me get some sort of context for the data? Has anyone got any experience with it? I know the mobilisation is a bit poor but it took him an hour to get the sample in and they said it’s probably just that. He’ll do another one actually in the hospital soon to make sure.

Always said having to wait until 12 weeks is way too long. Glad we have the option to go for earlier scans.

@AgeGapBbe that's very good news, a dumping on his birthday wouldn't have been good 🤣

@AgeGapBbe Great news!

@Eirlys1986 Thank you 💜 I hope your pain eases soon and you recover quickly.

@Un7breakable I'm team early scan too! 12 weeks is an eternity to wait 😅

@AgeGapBbe Hurrah! All the sperm. 👏 Best birthday ego boost 🤣 I can't add much insight but I'm feeling positive for you 🌟

Thanks all! My months of worry, that funnily enough got dramatically worse in the last few weeks while we were waiting for the results, looks to be all ok! Still doesn’t explain why we’ve not even had a BFP or a hint of anything this whole time…. But it’s got to be a good sign.

Congrats @AgeGapBbe!

As a midwife I’ve always been really pro NHS timeframe for scans and fiercely against the idea of private early scans for me. But now… I can’t tell you why. It feels different this time around. I think because my first was a Covid baby- my husband never saw her on scan.

I desperately don’t want that next time. If that means we do an early one to fit his work schedule then so be it. Still can’t tell you one good reasons why I was so against them previously.

Sorry, the way I’ve phrased that is really difficult to read!! X

Haha @Bumblebee413 I understand what you were saying I think! 😂
It’s a really difficult one with early scans and super sensitive early tests, are we all putting ourselves potentially through more potential upset and stress by being able to find out we are pregnant earlier than nature intends (I.e we may never know about chemical pregnancies otherwise). Obviously given my recent experience it has got me thinking should I just wait till later for a scan next time if I can. Although latest I would wait is 10 weeks as that’s when the clinic I use would do a scan prior to a harmony.
I must say though the clinic I used private is CQC rated and has doctors etc but was not a patch on all the NHS staff at the EPAU, I am still so proud to work for the NHS, the staff are legends 😊 ⭐️

@Bumblebee413 I know what you mean as I had a COVID baby too! I can't wait for my husband to join us at scans next time 🙏🏻 I also didn't get to do all the fun stuff like baby yoga, have a baby shower etc.

@bumblebee & @Eirlys1986 it's a tricky one as I do see things from both sides. As much as I think early scans can help ease the worry we all know that's not a guarantee still. I do also see how being able to test so early these days can make things harder too, I said to mom that in my position years ago many women wouldn't have even known they were pregnant and just thought their period was a week late.

Also had a Covid baby, although he was born 3 weeks before the first lockdown so didn't have to go through what some of you did alone but was still really crap not being able to do anything. Think he was 16 months old before we could get to a baby class for the first time.

@Eirlys1986 that's great about your scan. So glad you can start moving forwards again. I completely get you on seeing the womb. They showed me too and it was weirdly reassuring, and as you say, a bit of closure to see it empty although super poignant. Hope you're doing ok today. I randomly cried about my loss agai. Last night and it's been over 2 months now. The grief just sometimes hits all over again.

@RoseH36 good luck with ovulation lovely. Just waiting on mine now. Was predicted for tomorrow on my app but no sign of a raised opk yet. My cycle last month was shorter than usual so the app may be out if basing it on that and if I'm getting back to my pre-loss baseline so we'll see. @CurlyWurly1991 sounds good for you 🤞🏻

I used to actually be Team 12wk scan... But since having the MMC I now feel like I would want an earlier one in any future pregnancy, mostly because it feels so sad to think I was going around oblivious for a whole month. I think I'd maybe go around 8 1/2 to 9weeks. Obviously as others have said, it's still no guarantee... But seeing a heartbeat then would be a bit of comfort in the moment and if it was worst case scenario again, at least I'd know a bit sooner... That's where I think I'm at but who knows!

Hi @SnookyPook seeing my scan was definitely a good closure for sure. I’m sure the cries will hit me again as they have for you. I’m sorry, it’s the most painful thing I’ve ever been through for sure, including the loss of my own father a year ago. I think because he was older, whilst I miss him terribly, it is an expected part of life and this really kind of isn’t so it had so many other emotions attached to it that feel so ugly and complicated.
I also definitely agree with you about scans, we sadly think this pregnancy only stopped around 2 days prior to the 8 week scan but the prospect of potentially walking around for longer thinking all is ok is heartbreaking. I am also thankful we didn’t go a few days earlier for the scan as then we likely would’ve seen a heartbeat and who knows when we would have found out about the MMC, potentially at 12 week scan which OH feels would have been even more heartbreaking. Really there is nothing that makes it all less sad, sending love to you 💕 xxx

@Bumblebee413 I get why the NHS waits for 12 weeks but like @Eirlys1986 I think I'd rather know if something is wrong rather than going about for 12 weeks thinking all is well.

@Un7breakable thats definitely how I feel about knowing sooner. Did it make this MMC any less painful? I will never know but at least I am now “sorted” physically at least, potentially at an earlier point than if I had been waiting for NHS scans.
However, I imagine @Bumblebee413 has also seen the fall out of people using none regulated scan providers who give incorrect information to people etc. My provider was CQC rated and run by doctors but they still essentially saw me, told me briefly what had happened and kicked me out all within 15 minutes. I was simply told to ring EPAU and get myself sorted. They may well have been like this because I am a doctor and they therefore thought I could sort myself out but on reflection it did feel a little cold given the circumstances. The NHS team by comparison were wonderful. I would probably still use the same clinic I went to in future as the NHS nurse remarked that the scan report I got was very good, I guess I just feel their bedside manner lacked a bit and made me feel awkward.

I have been catching up. Wanted to read through properly before replying. @Eirlys1986 I am so gutted for you. Glad that the physical side sounds like it is done but it is so very sad.

@RoseH36 sorry to hear your news too.

@AgeGapBbe glad you didn't have to dump him on birthday!!

OH got his sperm results, 22% when it should be 39%. I think, I wasn't with him. I was happy with that, thought it might be almost none. They are putting him down for another test so see what that says. Cutting down on the caffeine bless him.

Thanks @Pineappleapple 😊, not bad news about OH sperm results, they can vary a lot from one sample to the next with men so they always repeat one, there are lots of bits and bobs he can do to try to get the counts up which is great.
In other news, I am feeling slightly less charitable towards my 8 week private scan provider this afternoon as they just kindly sent me an email with all the forms in to read “before your harmony NIPT” appointment next week …which they promised me they would cancel as I asked them to at my 8 weeks scan showing MMC 😐. Have emailed them back and managed to remain civil, mistakes occur but these little things are really upsetting.

@Eirlys1986 I'm sorry. You'd think scan places would be extra on top of this kind of thing.