2023 TTC 35+ Part 3

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread!!!

The other one filled in so quickly. I'm happy that many of you are finding this space supportive and helpful.

Ps @RoseH36 it could also just be a bit of old blood coming down relating to implantation and development of pregnancy x

@Eirlys1986 thank you, thats exactly what DH said and that old blood can be common. Will calm myself down and give EPAU a call.

@RoseH36 good, I’m sure they will be lovely and reassure you 👍🏻 maybe even offer you a scan in a few days if you like. Let us know how you get on x

@RoseH36 Its very likely old blood. Unfortunately there's not much you can do but wait. That looks very similar to the light spotting I had. I took another pregnancy test to check the line, then in absence of bleeding or pain, just holding tight til I can book a private scan at seven weeks.

It's horrible, it's scary being pregnant post miscarriage isn't it xx

@Eirlys1986 they've booked me in for a scan at 6 weeks, 26th June. Still could be too early to see a heartbeat but they'll be able to tell if things are where they should be.

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 its so horrible, I'm just on edge all the time. I know with my first I had a bit of a bleed at 5 weeks, a scan picked up 2 sacs, one hadn't developed and the bleed was likely from that so I did have a bit of old blood afterwards. They picked up the heartbeat at that time so desperately hoping I'm as lucky this time round. I don't want to go through another mc again.

@RoseH36 glad you’ve got a scan booked and that’s something to work towards. Are you at work today or able to rest up or do something for distraction?
I am going to EPAU at 2 today for discussion about how we can now manage the MMC. I’ve had no bleeding yet but definitely feeling crampy this morning so I’m hoping they may be able to see something on scan to suggest things are just starting naturally as this is what I would really prefer. It’s so weird to now be actively hoping to see bleeding when I go to the toilet!
I am sorry to post about my loss at a time when others are experiencing stress and anxiety in relation to to their own past losses and I do hope it isn’t upsetting for anyone. If anything I am posting does make anyone feel uncomfortable I would really want them to let me know x

@RoseH36 I checked my charts and I had a tiny bit spotting both with my miscarriage and with my son, like you. So it's not necessarily bad, it's just really horrible to see.

I really really struggle with the waiting. Last time I got betas, this time I'm going to save the money, and just get a scan later I think.

Hope you're okay, and have no more spotting today 🤞

@Eirlys1986 it's good but scary at the same time. I've said to DH though that if everything is OK over the next week I'm tempted to push that back to 7 weeks. The last thing I want is to be told there isn't a heartbeat but that it may be too early and then have a week of constant worry before another scan.

Don't be daft, we're here for that reason, I wish I'd have known about this forum when I went through mine instead of feeling isolated. Hope you get the answers you need today. It could well be the start of things, mine felt like cramps before becoming more like contractions (well I assume that's what they felt like, I had a c section with mine as nothing got going properly). I opted for a D&C though in the end.

@Eirlys1986 I'm so sorry about EPU today, and please keep posting here for support. I know the feeling of just wanting the bleeding to begin, but equally being scared for it to start. Sending you love xx

And you shouldn't have to worry about making anyone uncomfortable, this is a ttc topic, and we're here to support each other

@Eirlys1986 didn't answer your other question, I work for myself from home so will just take things easy today.

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 that's the thing isn't it? Everyone says spotting/bleeding is totally normal and doesn't mean things are wrong but when you've been through a mc you just worry about every little thing. It could still even be from implantation. Just hope that was a one off.

@RoseH36 exactly, it happens in one third of successful pregnancies apparently also!

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 and the logical part of my brain takes all that on board and knows its probably nothing but its that little bit that goes 'but what if?' that's hard to shake. Pregnancy is so tough!

Thanks @RoseH36I think if I were in your position and bleeding all settled etc I would want to push the scan back to a more certain time to see a heartbeat too so I think that’s a very wise decision.
Thanks for your reassurance about me posting, in another really nice gesture from the universe in general some post just popped through the letter box including my congratulations on your pregnancy midwife booking letter appointment. Made me laugh and then cry 😭

@Eirlys1986 I hesitate to say good given the circumstances but definitely think that is a positive sign. The things I didn't expect when miscarrying were how quickly the bleeding would start and in a way how quickly it would be over (definitely left my body very rapidly, much more so than a normal period, which they said showed my body was dealing with it well). Like @RoseH36 also had period type cramps which rapidly turned into contraction pain and a lot of pain on the side I ovulated from where the cyst was collapsing (this is what the gyane said).
I hope this helps and so sorry you are going through this, it is the pits.

Thanks @A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 I am really so glad you are all here. At present just my partner and manager and works partner know so I have limited support. I know I will not tell my mum unless I have to as she’s been through so much this past year (dad dying and her falling and breaking her shoulder and back when she had to come live with us for a few months recently plus she’s almost 80 and lives a couple of hours away).
my partner wants to tell his parents so they can hopefully offer additional support but it also feels like opening myself up to more upset and vulnerability to tell them. I will see what the plan is from today’s appointment then decide if I feel telling them is the best option.

Thanks @TheFanciestPants I really hope it just happens quickly now. I almost don’t trust my body to do it though as feel like I’ve understandably lost a lot of confidence in my body over the past few days!

@Eirlys1986 that's completely understandable! We only told two close friends (one sort of guessed), my mum and eventually my boss as I need to take quite a few appointments for various things during work hours.
My friends and boss have been amazingly supportive but I was very careful who I told as it's not something you can "untell", so I agree with being cautious, but I am an extremely private person so know that doesn't work for everyone.

@Eirlys1986 oh that's such awful timing with the letter 💔 I think who you tell is your decision entirely as it's you going through it physically. I didn't tell anyone until afterwards, when I felt better, as I didn't want to deal with the sympathy then. Or the well meaning questions and messages etc. And I didn't tell work at all. Working actually took my mind off waiting for it. And the funny thing is, when I did mention it to others, so many people said 'oh that's happened to me also' and I never knew. It is so common, but people don't share often. It made me feel less alone. Even just on this thread it seems maybe half of us have had losses xx

@TheFanciestPants I am also very private and really don’t like sharing vulnerability with others which is why I find posting on here so helpful. I think I’m just a bit worried about my motivation behind not telling in laws- I mainly don’t want them worrying in any future pregnancies, wanted our pregnancy to be a surprise and feel like another one wouldn’t be now if they know about this and also I am the kind of person who likes to appear very “competent” and not need help or be a bother to others. I will have a think and see how I feel after appointment today. I feel if things start naturally I will likely just keep to ourselves, consider telling if medical management and I would obviously definitely tell family if surgical management became required. Thanks for listening x

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 thanks, I think I also would be much more comfortable telling others afterwards perhaps but will see how things go. Due to nature of my work as a GP I have to let other partner and manager know as obviously if I suddenly don’t turn up to work when things begin it causes disruption and we can do things to offset that before in advance etc x

@Eirlys1986 that's awful timing on the letter. I had ordered a maternity t-shirt and that turned up just after my news. It's just such a crap thing to have to go through.

I've not yet bothered registering myself for a booking in appointment as want to ensure things are ok first. I found that hard knowing I'd gone though that being all excited and it was already too late.

Such a hard one to know who to tell or not tell. I have been amazed by how many people I know who have been through it, yet as I've said in a previous post some have gone through it more than once which hasn't done anything to ease my paranoia. If anything is wrong this time I'm telling my parents and in laws only.

Thanks @RoseH36 for your thoughts and sharing your experience. It has been so helpful to be able to share with you all this morning whilst I wait to go to hospital. Unfortunately I have got toddler and cockapoo to manage along with a load of builders coming to do loft work this morning as partner has gone to do a few appointments today to try to reduce workload for himself tomorrow prior to weekend. I’ll be going to EPAU alone this afternoon but think I can put my big girl pants on and get through it 👍🏻

@Eirlys1986 At least you've got plenty of distractions this morning and we're all here for you when you're back if you need to chat.

You’re right @RoseH36 the distractions have been helpful. OH should be here shortly to take over getting toddler to nursery this afternoon then I can get myself over to the hospital. Will keep everyone updated 👍🏻

I've started bleeding 😭 guess I'm not destined to have any more children.