IVF Buddies: the next chapter

[RunningOnHope]

Hi everyone, thought I'd try making us a second thread now the old one is done -

Tagging @Triselly @lemons44 @CR7 @Flowerlover010 @pongom @WholeZebra @TheBirdintheCave @SarahShorty - will go back to the thread and see if there's anyone else to add in, but do tag those I've missed!

@TheBirdintheCave I feel you need take to take a few moments to digest, try to remove the anger and frustration from the situation because what you’re saying isn’t making the most sense. Understandably due to the upset but regardless, you need to take some time. There is 12 years between my sisters and it had no bearing on anything. In fact it actually was amazing for them growing up.

I also echo someone above asking why you would destroy the embryos.

I think perhaps as I said you need some space to digest and take some time to really think about what you want.

this message is sent with love.

@TheBirdintheCave definitely don't destroy them yet - if nothing else, see them as an insurance policy! They are there ready and waiting as a back up for if or when you need them. Try and see it as a positive thing - you have lots of embryos on ice, plus chances to get pregnant naturally. That's a pretty good place to be in. Xx

@TheBirdintheCave I'm seconding the above two here.

My situation:

I have 4 embryos left in the freezer, we tried naturally while waiting for a natural bleed as the chances of success are very low for us given my DH's low sperm. We don't want to a waste a cycle with time not as much on our side anymore.

I've just paid up my next FET, it's an eyewatering amount of money, but the money is being inflated away sat in the bank and we'd rather use it to help us get our babies.

Say our previous try was successful, assuming it made it to a live and healthy birth, we'd be safe in the knowledge that there are 4 more little babies waiting for us and that we'd likely not even have to try again. Not all 4 are going make it, but at least 2 will. That's potentially 3 little babies. Maybe even 4 if one splits.

My personal opinion:

From my point of view, I'm fully against the destruction of perfectly decent embryos, especially considering the amount of money, appointments, stress, anxiety, drugs and procedures undertaken to get them. Ultimately, they are lives waiting to make a home in a loving and warm womb. I just can't fathom throwing all that away.

I say all this with love and understanding xx

@TheBirdintheCave I agree wholeheartedly with @SarahShorty

I know you’re hurting but please try to take a moment to think and take some time out.

remember some of us lovely ladies in our group would do anything to be in your situation and it’s hard to hear you talking about destroying embryos.

we are all here for you but remember we need you to be here for us too.

Sorry everyone. I'm autistic and have absolutely no filter so I just say what I think.

My world view is very black and white, I had a life plan that didn't pan out when we had infertility whilst trying for our first which involved having two kids quite close together, ideally before I was 35. I don't want children far apart. I'd rather only have one child.

We started trying for number two hoping it wouldn't take as long but then had a different problem of recurrent miscarriage so then decided on IVF after the last MMC in December. To be told that I have to wait AGAIN to even try the embryos we've made and to have the clinic ignore all of my requests for an answer as to why is so galling.

All day I've been angry and feel physically sick.

In no way did I mean to hurt anyone else or minimise other people's experiences and I do apologise if what I said did that. I really want to be able to use my embryos but I'm going to age out of being able to in December as I don't want to give birth post 38. Every month counts so to be told I'm going to lose two for no reason is just the worst news.

I feel like the clinic are holding my dreams hostage and there's nothing I can do about it.

I don't know what to do. I just want to be pregnant with a baby that will live past nine weeks.

We know you didn't xx that's why we are all opening up the communication. Fertility is not black and white which is why it must be extra hard for you. We just want you to remember that everyone is in a different but tricky situation and sometimes we ALL need to be extra sensitive with our words. I often re read and re type my messages as I want to ensure that my message lands with the right intention. It's extra hard when it's written down and in black and white for everyone to read xx

@TheBirdintheCave
Hope you're OK. I feel like this is a safe space so don't worry about saying things as they feel at the time. Lots of really nice understanding people on here and totally appreciate how upset you are at yet another delay on getting an embryo on board.
I also find it super difficult to deal with plans changing, especially with these things as it's so emotional.

You've said you've got December as your deadline, so can you continue naturally in the months you're not able to have a transfer, do the FET when you're able to - hopefully soon! And if December comes around and you're still not pregnant, reconsider the situation then?

Letting go of the embryos you have on ice at the moment seems like an emotional reaction, rather than a logical one.

Also sending this with love ❤️ such a tough journey, here if you need to chat

So I think we're going to make a complaint to our clinic. When my husband got home he explained the errors surrounding our payments which I didn't know was even a problem. Apparently they were trying to charge us for something we'd already paid for... twice 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

Their admin team is a nightmare. We already lost a month at the start because the left hand didn't know what the right was doing.

Can't believe I'm writing this but they said we can go ahead with FET in June as originally planned. I'm so happy, I'm literally crying 😂

So pleased to hear that @TheBirdintheCave , you deserve some good news for once!

Great news @TheBirdintheCave
Does it mean you can still have your holiday? Xx

Thanks guys :)

@lemons44 Yep! The baseline scan will now be done between CD1 and CD5 of my next cycle.

That's great @TheBirdintheCave I bet you could use the holiday. We've decided we will book something after round 2, whether or not it's successful - just to have some time away.

We had our follow up consultation last week after our failed round. I'm not really sure I am happy with the suggested changes to my protocol for round 2. The consultant has said that because I did get 13 eggs last time the protocol worked, and that they just need to tweak it to ensure we get more mature eggs. So they have suggested keeping everything the same but adding LH to my medications and doing a double trigger shot. Just not convinced this will be enough. Really don't want to get 10 immature and unusable eggs again!

Hope everyone is doing ok. I've been thinking of you @Triselly 💗 no need to message on here but just know we're here for you always xx

Hello guys, thank you for all the kind messages ❤️

So glad to hear that everyone is moving forward with their treatments! It sounds like a few people are just around the corner for their next steps and wishing you the very best of luck with them xx

I’ve just been sleeping/recovering. It’s still pretty early but we’ve talked about getting back into the next cycle hopefully in September. It seems so far away but I know it wouldn’t be sensible to leap into anything any sooner. I have these four alarming holes in my abdomen right now so waiting for them to heal. They are super gross 😨 but apparently looking normal. And the pain killers started giving me an upset stomach so stopped taking them for now.

If anyone finds themself in this position, I recommend checking out the ectopic pregnancy trust online forum, there’s a lot of helpful information there and help with processing everything xx

@Triselly you are an absolutely queen. So graceful and calm. We are all proud of you x

That sounds really sensible @Triselly. Glad you're beginning to heal - it's been such an ordeal for you.

I'm still waiting to be completely clear of bleeding - after I thought it had stopped at first, I then had a whole new period for 5 days or so, then stopped so thought we were done... then another two days of bleeding snuck in there... hoping this time I'm really done! No idea when next cycle will begin...

@Triselly That sounds like such an ordeal 😔You're being so brave! I hope your recovery is really smooth.

Just had the second baseline scan done. My lining is getting there but it's still not quite thick enough, so my Progynova (estrogen) has been upped to 6 pills a day from 4. I have another baseline scan this Friday and the transfer is looking to be either next Thursday or Friday (8th or 9th June), which is exactly a year to the day and date of our fertility MOT being done. 15 months of trying, 12 months of treatment. I'm so tired.

Hi @SarahShorty do you work in an office job? I do and so sit most of the day. I found daily walks for 1 hour helped thicken mine. During my fertility investigations my lining was only 4.9mm the day before my period was due! So I'm prone to super thin linings.
The timelines are so hard aren't they? During our IVF cycle we reached the '1 year' mark since my husbands azoospermia diagnosis. I have a colleague who got pregnant, Had her baby, went on maternity leave for a year and is back at work - all whilst we still have never had a BFP. It's cruel.

@Triselly I hope you're continuing to rest and recover 💗 how are you feeling?

Not much to update from me. Think I've now come to terms with the failed round and im feeling hopeful for the next one.

xx

@lemons44 It's complicated. I WFH in what used to be an office-based job. We don't have an office anymore. I'm lucky in that the satellite clinic I visit for scans is a 30 minute walk away, so I do get to walk. That's interesting about exercise thickening the lining.

Oh I hear you, it's shit, it's utter shit. I told my nurse today how I was feeling and she said to me it's all normal. It really is exhausting, it's a crazy rollercoaster ride and it can break even the strongest of people.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but my nurse told me a positive story with regards to egg quality. Just over 16 years ago, she had a patient that had a failed transfer. She went for a second transfer and the egg was a poor grade, but transferred it anyway. She told my nurse that she would rather let it perish than fail outright. That poor grade embryo is now a 16 year old boy.

Hello guys, one week since surgery and feeling much better now. Still tired and a bit out of action but things seem to be healing fast.

@lemons44 Hope you are doing alright, did you have any frozen embryos? There was someone else who was starting right back again with nothing frozen, we are in the same position so just wanted to send some solidarity ❤️

@RunningOnHope Has your bleeding stopped now? Goodness it seems like such a long time - hope you’re feeling ok. Do you get any sense of your cycle returning to normal?

@CR7 Thank you for your kind words, I get the odd wave of tears when I think too much about it but after your experiences and all the advice you’ve shared, I feel much more confident about trying again. Hope everything is going well with you and your little one xx

@SarahShorty It’s always nice to hear positive stories where someone has made it against the odds, thank you for passing on the story from your nurse xx

Hi @Triselly 👋🏼 so so lovely to hear from you. Glad you're on the mend. It's such a tough journey do so many people. You've handled everything with such grace.

All ok here; thank you for asking. Taking it one day at a time xx

Glad you're feeling a bit better @Triselly, all feels normal for me now. I have a follow up appointment next Wednesday (although it's with a doctor I've never spoken to before and tbh my clinic are pretty rubbish at these kinds of appointments and consultations). Then just waiting for next bleed to phone up and arrange FET.

In the meantime I've been away on a work trip this week and travelling for a job interview next week so quite relieved time having an IVF pause for a few weeks!

So glad to hear all going well so far @CR7, thinking of those who are gearing up for a new cycle in the coming months too.

Hi all, hope everybody is doing ok?

@Triselly glad you are healing ❤️ thank you for the solidarity. Yes that's right, we didn't have any frozen embryos either so hoping round 2 will be luckier 🤞🏼 also using our frozen sperm same as you. Here's hoping we get some good luck on the next round!

@RunningOnHope I hope your follow up appointment goes well!

Hope things are good @CR7 !
Xx