Trying to conceive over 40 part 4

[October1979]

Hi girls here is a new thread as we have nearly reached the 1000 limit x

Can anyone give me some advice so I ovulated on cd 62 longer periods and missed periods since entering perimenopause anyway we had sex 3 days before ovulation 9 days after ovulation I start spotting very light no need for a liner or pad only there randomly when I wiped it lasted for 3 days then I had nothing for 4 days and on the 5 th day I start again now I’m 11/12 dpo now af is due around the 16/17 can you spot twice if it’s implantation bleeding I have tested I’m getting shadows but nothing to say BFP I’m stressed about it maybe it’s hormones from peri and now af is starting advice would be good I’ve never had this before .

@TraceyTarotReader I'm so sorry to hear people were so hateful. It's completely ridiculous - these forums are supposed to be for support and there's nothing at all wrong with wanting a baby in peri/menopause. I've had no period this month and am having hot flushes and so am wondering if I am. Anyway, in my opinion, if you don' agree with what someone says on a forum, don't say anything. I was on one once where someone was trying for her 8th child and I couldn't deal with reading about it when we are trying for our first - I didn't send hateful comments, I just left the forum.

@clhiu Welcome! I'm really sorry you've been having such a hard time of it. We have been trying for almost 4 years and I am 41. I've never been pregnant naturally as I have a very low egg count and so we are trying with DE. We have had 3 failed ETs but have just moved clinics and they are doing various tests before our first ET with the new eggs we have bought. All very pricey, but hopefully it'll mean they'll have a better idea how to make the next transfer work!

x

@BertLiv i know there’s some awful people out there so I’m now 14 dpo still shadows on my tests no more spotting I think it’s peri hormones I also didn’t have a period last month too .. but ovulated at the end of last month I’m so stressed with this I just wished I had an answer either af or a positive hpt …

is this the first time you have gone a month without af x

@clhiu sorry to hear of your miscarriages.
I am also 44 and been trying properly since Jan 23. No pregnancies at all in that time though. I was very late March 23 so bought a test but typically went to use it and my period had just started.

@TraceyTarotReader It's so frustrating when you don't know either way. Hopefully you'll know soon and it will be good news! My af has been erratic since about 6 months after we started trying. Sometimes it's bang on time, and sometimes it's 2/3+ weeks late. Whenever I had a transfer, it was brought on medically, so I've only had a natural one once this year anyway.

But, I had a scan the other day and have been given meds to induce my af, but they don't want me to take it yet, so clearly there was no sign of it appearing anytime soon. They didn't answer my question about whether I'm in peri though, so I'm going to try to remember to ask at my appointment. x

@BertLiv ohhh tell me about it well I’ve read you can spot while in Peri so maybe it’s that but I don’t know wether it’s a coincidence or what but when I had the first spotting it was 9 days after sex so that would be 5/6 dpo which implantation is likely then I had nothing for 4 days so 9 -12 dpo nothing then on 13 dpo spotting again and it’s still there a bit only when I wipe and by now if it was af it would’ve flowed by now so I’m wondering if implantation can come and go until it’s complete or it’s peri hormones… I’m leaning more on the peri side cause it would be a miracle for me I have 3 beautiful daughters from a previous relationship and I’ve been with my husband for 20 yrs and married for 5 along with 3 baby angels now I’m 52 and get judged a lot by people asking why would I want a baby at my age I’m like cause that’s what my purpose on earth is to be a mother again but we will see I keep testing and keep getting shadows but nothing to shout about .

and that’s how my periods started at 6 months I’d have longer or shorter periods and I’d skip a month so 1 yr on its still pretty much the same my lat period was April but did go into May and didn’t have one in June but ovulated on the 30th it’s mad how we change I hope you get an answer but normally the doctors will only go off symptoms I suppose it’s different if you have PCOS and you don’t get periods then that would be your problem my daughter has just been diagnosed with PCOS but she has periods but dose bloat and has a lot of pain let’s hope we both get good news x

My period is a mess for a long time now. From November 2023 until February 2024 my period didn’t arrive, so they started it with Ovitrelle’s injection. Now luckily, I started my treatment with a natural period.
@BertLiv what medication have you been prescribed? Mine looks very simple just Estrogen and Aspirin, but I hear other ladies taking a lot and very different medications.

@GingerFox2021 Glad you've started your treatment with a natural period. When they tell me to, I'll be taking Provera to induce my period. With our last clinic, I took Norethisterone. I'm currently just on estrogen tablets until my next scan.

@BertLiv thanks for the acknowledgment. I’m really sorry you’ve never been able to get pregnant so far and been through the mill with fertility treatment. So so unfair, but good you’re in a position to be able to keep going and try a different clinic, I hope that makes a difference. When/what are your next steps?

@Isitthathardtobekind thank you. It’s so hard especially when having regular cycles and knowing you’re ovulating and nothing happening, it’s completely frustrating.

I’ve just had another BFN, so that’s 10 cycles in a row (pretty much regular ones, within a 5 days variation from one another max) without a shred of a faint line. The added frustration and bafflement for me comes from the ease with which I fell pregnant for a 2 years period from 41.7 to 43.9 months, including creating 5 blastocysts in one single IVF cycle at the age of 42.10 and then absolutely nothing! We had a long 10 months break without trying at all because of IVF that took a long time due to many additional tests etc…and some other fertility treatment I wanted to try after my failed FET. We were very strict with not trying during this period, to give treatment a chance. Who knows how many more times I might have fallen pregnant during those wasted 10 months, maybe they were my last hope with any eggs left at least good enough to fertilise and blast. I did get pregnant one more time though after all this, in fact the very first time we tried again fully naturally after 3 months of failed superovulation cycles so very very baffled that there seems to be absolutely nothing left now.

I know this thread’s been going for a while and said people might have left by now, but can I ask if anybody on here’s actually been successful at achieving a healthy live birth? Especially if over 42 and especially if through natural conception, without IVF? Any positive experiences would be super appreciated, looking for some hope this morning 💔

@clhiu thank you. We have now bought our eggs and I’ve started take oestrogen and had scans and bloods taken to see how my body is reacting. I’ve got an aquascan and endometrial biopsy next week and our egg thaw/fertilisation the week after. Then, finally, we will make a plan for when we can do our first ET with this eggs. It feels like such a long wait, but then everything does in this process!

Sorry to hear you’ve had another BFN. If it helps at all, I know a few people personally (not on this forum) who have successfully had live births after the age of 42. Don’t give up hope!

I know lots of people who have have babies post 40: my mum, gran, DH's gran, a few people locally, one of my NCT buddies (that one was IVF). Not me so far though (I'm 42 this week). I've been TTC since March 2022 when I had a surprise pregnancy and early miscarriage at 39. When I learnt of the pregnancy there was a bit of me that was overjoyed that for once it had happened so easily when DD1 had taken 16 months/10 wonky cycles and DD2 had taken 12 cycles. But no, now I'm approaching the end of cycle 32 😩. (Not optimistic for this cycle as I'm due on tomorrow and had some bleeding when wiping yesterday). But I digress. I'm not finding it easy post 40, but I know lots of people who have had an easier ride. Hang on in there....

@clhiu me - 3rd pregnancy conceived at 42 after 2 1st trimester MCs. Healthy live birth. All natural conception. Progesterone prescribed in 2nd pregnancy after a bleed. Took it in 3rd pregnancy as soon as I had a positive test. No aspirin until consultant recommended it at 14w to prevent pre-eclampsia.

My partner is a year older and also had no children.

@clhiu I had a baby 3 months before my 43rd birthday. It was a natural conception but I took progesterone from ovulation. I’d had three early losses even with progesterone at a positive test so decided to take it earlier and my daughter stuck. I’ll have no way of knowing for sure but I think my progesterone was too low to hang on the pregnancies before. I also had my son at nearly 41 after two losses. I wish you the best of luck!

Hello everyone I’m no stranger here I don’t comment a lot but I do read everyone’s comments so I’m having the longest cycle ever I’m on cd 100 yes THANKYOU perimenopause !!! I do believe I was getting vfp last month for about a week and then last week they were none visible so I think my body tried but I didn’t bleed and here I am again hopefully ovulated cd 97 so I will just hang in there and I’m promising myself I won’t test till about 9 dpo .

hoping the best for you all x

How is everyone on this thread doing?
I'm almost 41 and so torn on a decision about trying again
I've probably already left it far too late

Hi! I’d like to join too. I’m 42 and have been trying for a couple of years now and not even a hint! Previously I have had a quite a few miscarriages, but not even getting to that stage now. I know I’m ovulating, but it’s probably the egg quality.

I think it's a very personal decision but plenty of women do have healthy children in their 40's so, age alone, doesn't need to put you off.

I'm 41 with a 4 year old, 7 ish weeks pregnant now (not particularly trying but not preventing either). All going well, I'll be 42 when I give birth.

I never even thought about having children when I was younger, too busy traveling the world and building my career so, for me, later was much better, but everyone is different. There's no 'one size fits all'.

If you do decide to try, good luck

@sel2223 thanks
Yeah I never actually wanted children in fact I actually didn't like them, spent a lot of time travelling when younger so feel I've done that part of life .
Then I had ds after just turning 36 and he's the best thing ever did
Divorced now and with someone who always wanted children but didn't get the chance and who is a million percent a better person than exh who is a train wreck .

I'd also like to add that after my daughter was born 4 years ago (I was 37), my husband and I have not used any form of contraception so, even though i wasn't tracking ovulation or anything like that, we weren't doing anything to prevent pregnancy.
It's been 4 years and not even a sniff of anything in all that time.
Since hitting 40 my cycles have become longer and more irregular, I'm definitely showing signs of perimenopause.
I've got everything crossed this one sticks as I do think it may be last chance saloon for me m

We sound so similar! My first husband had 2 children from a previous relationship and didn't want anymore and neither did I so it worked well for a long time.
Divorced age 35, met someone totally different at 36 who changed my perspective on everything and had our little one at 37.
Life changing.

Oh same
I started getting peri symptoms literally the month i turned 40!

Hi everyone, I am 42 and trying for my first one for a fourth cycle now. I am taking coq10 as it was recommended by a private fertility specialist, as it can improve egg quality. Also vit D and folic acid. It is hard at this age but I am going to keep trying for as long as it takes! I was told from get go that I have a higher chance conceiving naturally (AMH and all hormones are all fine) than via IVF with own eggs, not sure why they said it. Maybe many clinics don't want to bother with IVF with own eggs at that age. But as many posters here, donor eggs is also a very much an option, it is a very personal decision but everyone I personally know who went that way are absolutely happy.

Hello ladies, hope everyone's doing ok.

@lavafield Welcome! I was also told that coq10 was good for egg quality, so hopefully that will work for you - it's great that you have good AMH and hormones!

So, out of the 12 eggs we bought, 6 made it to blastocyst and have been frozen, which I know is good, especially as 3 are really good quality. We were due to start treatment now as I've just had my mock cycle withdrawal bleed, but my scan showed my lining was thick and I was about to ovulate, so we have to wait until my next cycle. The problem is, we have a trip with my husband's family each year that isn't changeable, which would coincide with my next cycle. I got quite upset as I was infuriated with my body and had feared that might happen. We have now settled that I will have an injection after I ovulate that will down reg me after my next bleed, so we can start treatment when we're back. It's only a delay of a few weeks really, if my period had arrived on time, but I really feel each delay, as I know we all do. I'm trying to look at the positives, but feeling a bit down about it all.

Sorry for the essay, just feeling very frustrated!

At the grand old age of 45 I've recently found out I'm pregnant. Huge shock/surprise - completely unplanned. I have a 4 year old who was very much planned (and who took 12 cycles to conceive). Still early days in this current pregnancy, under no illusions that it may not result in a happy ending. But thought I'd share as I know when I was trying for my first that others' success stories gave me hope.

Hi all can I join please, I was on the depo injection form when I had my daughter in March 2023, I was 40 when she was born. I stopped the depo in November, I didn’t go for my jab in February. For the last month I’ve had old blood every now and again so hopefully it’s coming out of my system. I would love to have another baby, I’m 42 in a week so I’m going to buy some ovulation tests and see if it’s still possible 🙏