Trying to conceive over 40 part 4

[October1979]

Hi girls here is a new thread as we have nearly reached the 1000 limit x

So sorry @praying4babba . It’s just such a really shit time. Are you having tests done on the pregnancy tissues?

My miscarriage at 11+5 after a lovely heartbeat scan was still chromosomal - but not age related (although EPU really wanted me to believe it was my fault due to my age) - it was a spontaneous issue of Turner’s Syndrome .

Look after yourself, as much as you can xx

Sending you lots of love @praying4babba I’d be lost without this board.

Morning, just received our testing results, all uneuploid 😞 fully in pieces.. 3 rounds, 10 tested and nothing to transfer...

@TT82 sending you lots of love.

@TT82 I am so so very sorry, my heart bleeds for you. Go through the emotions and take time. WE are about to do a round of IVF , they do not do testing here which I know is incredibly risky but just holding hope that something will work for us. It HAS to happen at some point, that is what we pray for daily xx Thinking of you and i will keep you in my prayers x

@TT82 I'm so sorry to hear that😞sending you a massive hug and lots of love. Try to stay strong and look after yourself - although I know that's a lot easier said that done. x

We have our nurse consultation on Tuesday to get our next round started and I'm hoping there won't be too much longer to wait. We tried naturally again this month, as we had a month with nothing happening, and I prayed that we might have a miracle, but I think AF is on her way, and that she'll arrive before Tuesday and so we'll have to wait until day 21 to start - the waiting is awful.

I’m so so sorry @TT82 Sending you much love x

@YellowLoafers , @BertLiv , @praying4babba , @Rosyposy26 thank you all for your support!! 🙏 I kind of expected but then there was a tiny hope still.. Luckily she didn't email me at the beginning of the week on my birthday day 🫣
Now need to start arranging calls with clinics and egg banks to understand our options (though I am still not 100% sure on DE)

@tt82 I totally get regarding DE but remember you will grow that bean and it will take on you. I was adopted and I was always told it’s 20% nature and 80% nurture. If it doesn’t work out for me I will consider DE sending you lots of love.

@Rosyposy26 unfortunately my worries are not about genetics abd how I feel, I am fine fully, my daughter treats and views my husband as her dad, we already a mixed family so to say. It is more I worry the child will suffer to be different and we might not be able to support it etc. Like question of half genetic siblings is the most difficult for some reason. But I am planning to talk to DCN and seek advise there.
If anyone knows good DE counsellor please let me know 🙏 I need guidance on some questions

@TT82 i totally get that. I have two DC who are grown up but my DH has none we met later in life. We both want a DC together. Son will look at all
options

good luck xx

Hello Ladies,
How's everyone doing?
So, we have our next transfer booked for Thursday and I can't seem to stop thinking about it. I'm trying desperately to make sure I've got everything organised - food etc - so that our third time might be the lucky one!
I've done a meal plan for the 2ww, bought tons of good food to make sure I get my 5 a day and have purposely planned very little, to avoid any stress. I've also got a list of questions, as usual, for the nurse, some of which I think have asked before, but I want to be 100% sure about the answer!
If this one doesn't work, we'll need to find a new donor and, more importantly, have to try to figure out why they're not working, which is probably one of the most frustrating things as there's nothing we can do differently to make it work.
Sorry for the mini-rant but, as I say, no matter what I do, I just can't get it out of my head - goodness knows how I'll be after the transfer!
Hope everyone else is doing well.
Xx

@BertLiv I have everything crossed for this transfer for you!!!!
You are doing already already everything 1000% right, so try to take it easy (I know easier said than done) and enjoy this moment

We are stuck with my husband (well more him), OE don't work, so only DE is our chance. But as he was behind all the research, thinking..bad news after last EC hit him and he is going through the grieving process, more as it is second infertility, maybe just to stop everything... I am ready to move with DE and actually fast as know you need to be lucky if it works first time. But understand both of us need to be ready.. So have to patiently wait

@TT82 Thank you - we've got everything crossed as well!!

Sorry to hear your husband is having a hard time - this is so hard on everyone involved. I hope that you are able to make a decision that you are both happy with soon.

Hello - I realise this is a thread that has been going for a while but I've been over on the infertility boards for years. I'm 44 (DH same age) and we have a wonderful 2.5-year-old daughter who was conceived through IVF in South Africa. We had two euploid embryos left after the successful pregnancy with her and stupidly I thought that one would just take and hey presto, a sibling would be here already!

Of course, life doesn't always work like that and we had two failed transfers and went back to the drawing board but in the Czech Republic when I was 43. Three failed rounds later - fairly decent number of embryos but all abnormal, a bout of OHSS on the last collection leading to ovarian torsion and removal of left ovary and tube (I decided to go out with a bang) and we are moving forward with a donor egg through the London Egg Bank. Have our first consultation tomorrow with one of their Drs.

Feeling more hopeful than I have in a while, whilst also trying to guard my heart. It's amazing how resilient infertility makes you, but it's not a resilience that I want to have and certainly wouldn't wish on anyone else.

My apologies for not having read through all the pages but I would love to hear from anyone else who has gone/is going down the DE route.

@loulamay Welcome!

We're also going down the DE route. I'm 40 and my husband is 42. We tried IVF with my eggs in January last year, but the round was abandoned as my follicles didn't grow enough. We then tried naturally for 6 months while I took letrozole and nothing happened, so we moved on to DE. We had our first round in December and our second in February, neither of which worked sadly. There were no issues, so we're just praying that our next round works! My third transfer is actually tomorrow (excited/nervous!) and, if that doesn't work, we'll have to find another donor, consider whether to stay with the same clinic and, either way, pay some serious money! But we've been very lucky so far as, because our natural round was abandoned, we got the first and second DE rounds on the NHS.

Hope your consultation goes well tomorrow!

@BertLiv praying here for you that third time is a charm!! Everything crossed!! Good luck!! Stay positive and envision your baby xx

@praying4babba thank you! I’ll do my best to stay positive and I like the idea of envisioning our baby - so I’ll do that too! Xx

@loulamay welcome! 🤗

Transfer done! Embryo was an expanded blastocyst 2-2, which is apparently pretty good. All went fairly smoothly, after she found my cervix that is, as it did it's usual hiding trick! We even stopped for a McDonalds on the way home - I'm sure the chips thing is a myth, but figured it was worth a try! I felt quite emotional this time, throughout the whole thing, and still do. But I guess that's expected.

Now for the good old tww...

@BertLiv that's very exciting! Good luck with the TWW! (although I am a chronic early tester so I never make it that far...!).

Great consultation and so next step is to get registered on their database and start looking for a donor! How did you find that part? Did they help you with any matching using a photo or did you go more for what the donor was saying about themselves/personality/likes? I'm excited to start looking!

@loulamay Thank you!

Glad the consultation went well. I found looking for a donor both exciting and initially stressful as when we were given access, there were no donors even close to what we wanted. But, they come and go very quickly, so we still managed to find one within a week, and London Egg Bank have more donors anyway. They didn't use a photo, just asked for our physical attributes, although we then had access to the whole egg bank, not just people that matched. We could see the donor's ethnicity, height, hair colour, weight, eye colour, BMI, skin tone and whether they had children. Once we'd selected one, we were then sent more information, including what they did for a living and a personal statement from them. When do you think you'll be registered and get access?

I'm the annoying keen new client that emailed them this morning at 8am to ask hahahaha! Hoping it will happen soon because we're going on holiday on Monday so we'll have some free time to sit together and have a look through!

@loulamay I wouldn't worry about being annoying! I have definitely been annoying in the past - sometimes it's the best way to get things done! My rule is there is nothing wrong with a bit of pestering as long as you're polite!