Trying to conceive over 40 part 4

[October1979]

Hi girls here is a new thread as we have nearly reached the 1000 limit x

@praying4babba cramps are good news!! 🙏 keep us updated! Xx

I had my EC today, they really struggled to find my veins..have bruises everywhere but on 5th attempt the managed, was scared they will cancel it 😮‍💨 Collected 17! But lots immature or over.. They will update me next week only once all done 😒 I think I have mild OHSS as in pain and so weak, last time was better

@praying4babba Glad the 2ww isn't too bad! Hopefully the cramps are a good sign - fingers crossed for you!

@TT82 Sorry you had such an awful time at your EC, but well done on getting 17! Hopefully next week will bring good news!

I had my down reg scan on Tues and they saw a cyst, but weren't worried and were pleased at how thin my endometrial lining was and so I have now started the oestradiol. Next scan is next Wednesday! Keeping everything crossed that things keep going to plan! I mostly haven't been finding the meds too bad, except since starting the oestradiol I've been getting more headaches and feeling pretty wiped out - I also feel like I'm expanding in my injection area, but I could just be eating too much!

Hope everyone else is doing alright! x

I feel so happy to find this group! I'm 41 nearly 42 and TTC #3. I feel so old and out of place in some of the other chats and wondering if I'm doing the right thing trying again at this age? My girls are 8 and 5. People say 'why would you want another one this late'? I hate that. I had my 1st at 33 and actually think it will be fantastic to do it again with more knowledge, more understanding and 2 beautiful older sisters on board. ❤

Sending love to all those other 40+ mums to be x

@rikkyc hi and welcome! I am in a similar situation, same age, ttc number 3, going through second ivf.. Only you know when is the right time.. ❤️
Though because of these reasons, we didn't tell anyone we are trying as they wouldn't understand

Ladies how does this look? I had my IUI last Wednesday.

@praying4babba looks positive to me!! 🙏

Ladies I so appreciate you and I am sorry I am like a passing through ghost but I am feeling floored. I am 44 and we have been trying to a very long time. My first and only born is 15 and was conceived while I was on the pill 🙄 fertility has a humour . Don’t give up. I am not sure where this will take us and they are the monitor tests as I only have those and having severe cramps tonight and lower back pain so yes . This journey is extremely challenging. @TT82 how are you feeling today ? Your egg count is amazing , we only got 7 and one pg tested normal which didn’t stick. Praying for all of us. X
ps I live in Southern Africa where everyone has their children in the late 20-‘s early 30’s. People look at me when they ask why do you have only one child and I say still trying 😂😂

@praying4babba I am much better today, thank you! So think all good. Yeah unfortunately lots of them immature but they didn't tell me the numbers. Last time had 8, 7 were mature and fertilised, 4 we tested but none normal.. They matured evenly, this time all over the place 🤦🏻‍♀️
Oh tell me about people's judgement, especially when culturally everyone gets kids by 30.. Our family asks us why we didn't sell some of our kids things, we reply that we keep them for future kids, they think it is a very funny joke 😅

@rikkyc am nearly 42 too 🤦‍♀️ ttc number 3. This group is more for ivf and doner eggs i think. Am part of another one, a couple of 41s in there if you wanted to join that too x https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception/4885487-ttc-may-2023-previous-mc-march-2023-thread-2?reply=131109300

Morning everyone, finally got email with embryos results:
17 eggs collected, 14 mature, 10 icsi fertilised, but only 2 made it to embryo and were biopsied 😢
I am in shock as last time from 7 fertilised we had 4 embryos..and even then all uneuploid. So what's the chance now. I asked the dr to give more information on grading and how many were at 3 day..to understand where was the biggest drop.
Do you think it is normal this outcome?
They ask if we want zo send testing (you pay as if for 4), or to do another egg collection and hopefully then send 4 or more.. But what is the chance third one will be better? I am turning 42 in April 😞

@TT82 im so sorry lovely ❤️❤️❤️ big drop offs are so so hard. I never had big numbers to get my hopes up with and sent 3 embryos for testing, I was so sure one would be good but all aneuploid and it broke me! My Dr at that point said I had a 7% chance of success - I was 43 though so you might have a better chance - you certainly got higher retrieval rates than me (mine were never more than 5, I did 3 rounds of EC). And you might just have your golden egg already!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼

There are no guarantees either way - nobody can give you anything more than their opinion. So you need to dig deep and base your decision on your gut instinct (and maybe your bank balance too unfortunately 🫤). Infertility sucks. Sending hugs xxxxx

@Kelb79 thank you for your support!! ❤️
I'd rather have smaller initial numbers, like I had first time. This time was a heartbreak..
Still waiting for a dr to come back on more details like quality, numbers at day 3, when potential 3d EC can be fit in..bad communication and slow here. Also will arrange an appointment with a clinic in Spain for their opinion meanwhile
Hope you are doing well!! Xx

@TT82 So sorry, but as Kelb79 said, you may have your golden egg already! Fingers crossed for you and hopefully making a decision will be easier once you have spoken to the dr and the clinic in Spain.

I had my second scan yesterday and they were pleased with how thick my lining was and so our thaw has been booked in for the 15th. We'll know by that afternoon if any have fertilised and, if they have, then our transfer will be booked in. Hoping and praying that all will go well and I'll be having a dry Christmas! Xx

@BertLiv oooooh exciting news!! Hope no wine for more than a year for you!! 😊🙏

Hi all, not a good update from my side. Finally got a call from my dr regarding the embryos we got this cycle. They are not good quality- BC and CB, dimilar to last time. So even if chromosomal good, lower chance for implantation and growth.. Big drop was before day 3 - 6/10 fertilised stopped growing, then 4 got to day 5, but 2 were not suitable fir biopsy and dropped developing too. So it is purely my bad egg quality regardless tge hormones level😔
I have a call with the clinic in Spain next Thursday (Instituto Bernabeu) but feeling like defeat ..

@TT82 im so sorry lovely ❤️ there’s nothing worse than getting your hopes up and then being smashed again. I’ve been there so many times 😞 are you still having those embryos tested? I’ve heard of many people still getting successful transfers with those grades and if they pass PGT-A then grades are essentially irrelevant. Don’t give up just yet 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Thank you for your nice words!! We have booked a private clinic consultation near us for next week (got a cancelled slot for second opinion), and also clinic in spain. Our current hospital can do a next egg collection in February-beginning of March. We will test these two, just deciding if to send 2 and then try with another clinic, or try one more with current and send all together after that final run.. I am not sure I am mentally ready, dr was too straight harsh- we cannot change your age comment 😔 but yeah maybe I needed the truth to be said.
So depending how these two private clinics approach our case, we would need to make a decision
I will update later xx

@TT82 I'm so sorry😞. Hopefully the tests might come up with good news. Sorry the dr was so harsh - I feel like that comment wasn't really necessary. I hope you're able to make a decision soon. Make sure you look after yourself mentally though and take a break if you need to.x

We've just had the call to confirm that 4, possibly 5, of our eggs have fertilised. We've got a long way to go yet, as I know a lot happens on days 2 and 3, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but it is a positive start. Xx

@TT82 yeah the doctors can be pretty harsh. But honestly, after the initial sting of it, it’s definitely better that they’re realistic rather than leading you up the garden path. At the end of the day, good eggs after the age of 40 are generally the exception not the rule. PGT-A testing will give you the best idea on what’s going on. I managed to send 3 for testing and they all came back with different chromosomal issues so we just knew that it would be hard to find a good egg, not impossible - but it would take time and money with no guarantees. My embryos were the same grade as yours and my doctor was pretty confident that we would be going to transfer with one of them, even though it didn’t work out that way so definitely stay hopeful 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

@BertLiv good luck!!! The 5 day wait is almost worse than a TWW 🫣🫣

@TT82 I’m sorry lovely. Drs can be so straight talking sometimes and the words hit hard when we’re already fragile from this process.

When I was at this stage, I asked the question around embryo grading and my clinic basically said not to get hung up on numbers and grading as it can add an extra layer of worry to an already fraught time. They said if an embryo is good enough for them to biopsy and freeze/thaw then it’s good enough to go on to successfully implant and grow. As we were PGTA testing as well, the clinic really weren’t concerned by grading.

This helped me a lot and meant I didn’t spend the time post transfer thinking about whether it was a good quality embryo being put back in.

Sending lots of luck to you and hope that helped a bit x

Morning Ladies
So, my ET is due to be this afternoon (I'm still saying due as don't want to tempt fate!). Having started with 6, and then 4 fertilising, we dropped to 3 on Sunday and I think we have now dropped to two (I don't know this for certain, but we went for the time lapse video and there are two, but I haven't watched them yet as waiting to watch with hubby). Got quite emotional reading the 'After ET' document, for some reason, so I think I may be a nervous wreck later.
Hope everyone else is doing ok. Xx

@BertLiv oh lots of strength and patience today and next 2 weeks!! ❤️

@TT82 Thank you! ET was successful today, although took a while as they couldn’t find my cervix! 🤦🏻‍♀️ So, now the TWW…hoping the distractions of Christmas will help! Xx

@BertLiv congratulations and fingers and legs crossed for you ! We did our IUI today so we are on the same 2 ww 🩷

@praying4babba Congratulations to you too! And everything crossed for you as well! Hopefully the new year will bring us both some amazing news! ❤️
I’m currently trying to plan what I should be eating, according to the NHS website, without going overboard. Luckily, I think my diet is already pretty good, but may add some things!