Trying to conceive over 40 part 4

[October1979]

Hi girls here is a new thread as we have nearly reached the 1000 limit x

Should also say that they were thrown off completely by taking clomid from October 21-October 22 as well

Thank you so much x

@Marvellouslymadmum oh sorry to hear! 🥺 I only recently learned about these (from BFN podcast) and how much pain it causes to women and additional struggles, as if we already had easy life.. I knew about PCOS (when was young had it probably, cysts etc but then after 2 pregnancies it stopped somehow and now ok), but not the rest :(
Remind me, do you consider/do ivf? Sorry if i missed

Thanks, @Marvellouslymadmum once she arrived the donor egg element all became secondary... where are you at in your decision making?

@ThesisthenaViva it may depend on your protocol, but for our age group generally the stim part of the cycle is determined by when your period starts. There's no reason to wait to transfer so I guess your clinic is advocating a frozen transfer rather than a fresh transfer? It depends a bit how your body reacts to the medication : some clinics think that transferring an embryo when you have just completed a round of stims is not optimal for implantation so prefer frozen transfers, but lots of people get pregnant from fresh transfers. Wishing you lots of luck! Definitely good to start ivf sooner than later because it will give you so much more information.

@TT82 bit late in the day, but if you're definitely doing another stim cycle then I'd be inclined to wait to pgt based on the outcome of that cycle if your clinic has a 4 embryo minimum criteria (which imo is completely arbitrary by the clinic : at the clinic where I had pgt, they would do it even if there was only one embryo). 4 blasts is v v good - the quality is useful but not definitive, all that matters is whether they are genetically normal. Sending lots of good luck vibes your way!!

@TT82 honestly I don't even think half the doctors know much about it!!
I haven't done any ivf yet, I'm on the waiting list for gynaecology to have a look at the endometriosis (was with them before for fertility but this is a separate referal apparently) so my plan is to try and get them to do a laparoscopy when I eventually get my referral then go abroad for a tandem cycle with de then if that doesn't work just de. I know my chances are t great with my oe as I'm 44 now and have an amh of 1.2

@99pctpractice I'm all for my de journey I'm just holding out for my gynaecologist appointment to come through so I can try and get them to look into the endo first so I have a better chance, I know it means delaying the ivf but if it gives me a better chance I think it would be a better way to do things! How's everything going?

Thank you for your responses ladies @99pctpractice and @Marvellouslymadmum

Hope everyone is getting on OK 🙏🏾

@Marvellouslymadmum oh then hope they come back re surgery date soon and you can plan all the next important steps! Xx

I am also keeping as option DE...but sometimes think it is greedy from me as I have 2 kids.. But will see how this all progress

@99pctpractice it might be actually I receive results first, as my hospital super slow 🙈 You can send less than 4 to test, but you still will pay as if for 4.. I just feel I need to do something as time and statistics not on my side, and all is moving slow.. 😒

@TT82 unfortunately I've not even been seen by the referral team yet! Still waiting 🙄
I also have two children and my partner has two children but we don't have any together. I would still class a de baby as ours though as I'd be growing and feeding it! I don't think it's greedy either I'm sure there's more than enough de for anyone who wants one

@Marvellouslymadmum happy you also think it is not greedy 😊 I have daughter from previous relationship, son together with my DH, so one more with just his genes will be perfect 🥰
Hospital put me for November cycle only, yeah definitely should have results by then, maybe they will know how to stimulate based on the quality
Any chance you can do privately? Or it is an expensive one? Xx

@TT82 exactly! Because we have two children each, all older now and 15,16, his 17,18 mine) it will be perfect having one together to tie them all to one another if that makes sense?
Ahh maybe November will be good so you have time to recover and grow more eggos!
Yeah it's a pricey one - around £6000 but the only way to sort endometriosis out! Xx

Hi everyone, I hope it’s okay to join. I’ve been lurking for a while but haven’t posted! Congratulations to everyone who has had good news and beautiful babies, and sending luck to those who haven’t yet.

I’m 40 (and a half, which seems relevant now my damn time is running out!) and I conceived my DD (14 months) after two early-ish miscarriages and an ectopic. We started ttc when I was 38 and she was born when I was 39. Had her by c-sec due to breech so surgeon recommended to wait a year before trying again. We started last month, and I’ve just gotten a bfn for this month at 10 dpo. AF due on Sat but I’m totally symptomless so know there’s no chance now.

I know it’s been no time at all, but already something feels different. I got pregnant on four out of five cycles we ttc last time, and the only cycle we didn’t was because of a burst ovarian cyst. My problem two years ago wasn’t getting pregnant, it was that pregnancies didn’t stick.

My expectations are definitely skewed by that experience but I’m feeling like my age is playing a big part now (and probably was last time given the miscarriages). I also have a 6cm para-ovarian cyst in my uterus and a gynae referral that isn’t until end of Feb 🙄😕

Does anyone one know whether a cyst in the uterus can affect implantation? I can’t seem to get a straight answer from anywhere.

sorry for the essay. Just disappointed and worried. We can’t afford IVF sadly, so I’m feeling like I need to prepare to accept I may not have another.

@deliwoman1 hi and welcome!
Sorry don't know if cyst impacts implantation..
From my personal experience, higher chance now of bad quality eggs :( I am always taking progesterone from 3d day post ovulation, but still cp after cp..
Any chance you can ask for earlier appointment? Or maybe privately? As if it does impact, better you deal with it asap, not to waste cycles with "good" eggs 😕
Also I read that ivf abroad, like Czech Republic is much much cheaper, though we do need a fee cycles at our age
Good luck! Xx

Hi all, hope you are doing well!
Just a quick update from my side: all my 4 embryos came back from testing abnormal, different combinations of trisomy or additional genes (if anyone has some explanation what those mean etc please share). Dr said not viable for transfer
It was my first EC, next planned for end of November only.. I am 41, will be 42 in April..
How do you decide when to stop? If all abnormal, what chances next will be a good one? 😔

@deliwoman1 hi, hope you're doing ok and have found some answers?

@TT82 so sorry it didn't go well for you, I think most people have a financial or emotional cut off point and go by when they feel the time is right.

Looks like for me de may now be my only chance, which although I've accepted that may be the case now I know it is I still hit very upset. I had a blood test last week for my iron levels and one of the things tested was my fsh - 92!! I couldn't believe it considering last time it was tested just over a year ago it was about 4 I thought I may just about be coming into perimenopause but not that far! But hey ho I'm only 44 (useless body) so still perfectly capable of carrying a baby - hopefully! 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Hey lovelies ❤️

@TT82 im so sorry ❤️ I had the same results with OE and it totally devastated me. It’s a really tough blow. If you’ve got a detailed report of the abnormalities you can look up what each individual issue is but tbh it’s pointless. If you had one singular abnormality the same in all of them it would be a case of you being a carrier for that syndrome. But various abnormalities is indicative of just generally low egg quality.
my dr was very blunt with me at this point and said that if we carried on with OE she would want to bank at least 10 eggs for testing and that my chance of success was around 7%. Yes, there could be a golden egg and we could find it but there’s no way of knowing if we’d find it on the first round or the tenth.
I called it there, had a break to clear my head and be sure I was making the right decision (also had to save money!!) then went ahead with DE.
I can only speak from my experience but since the moment of seeing my embryos I’ve never questioned or doubted my decision. I know that our journey with the child is going to be different And potentially difficult because of having to address their origins, but I’ve never thought of this baby as anything but totally my own. The donor element hardly crosses my mind.

@Marvellouslymadmum my stats dropped mega quickly between 42-43 aswell! it shocked the hell out of me!! But, like you say, that’s just the eggs! With DE my first transfer worked and my pregnancy has been straightforward so far - 18 weeks this week!! 😳

how’s everyone else getting on? Big love to all xxx

@Kelb79 thank you for your nice words! ❤️

Oh I thought majority will be abnormal...but not all 😔 I even hoped my husband would say then enough, so I won't hear one more time how bad they are and this feeling of failure 😞
But he wants to try more, so we are confident when we start discussing next steps
My worry is not what we feel to DE baby (we don't care about genetic), but what that baby feels once he/she finds out, and whether any bad feelings as one sibling will be both parents, but my daughter only mine.. I read some women share if there are already kids might be a problem..
from the other hand, my son and daughter treat themselves as full siblings not step, they have 13yr difference and love each other to pieces

But yes, I think after next cycle we need to consider next steps. Our dr not pushy to continue, DE not allowed in Switzerland, so she just asks if we ready mentally to continue and financially.

Happy your pregnancy goes well ❤️ when is due date?

@Kelb79 that's so great to hear it's all going well! Remind me where you went for your de again please? (I'm sure you've told me before) I'm trying to work out what it costs where but it's never easy to work out is it?!

I have a q for those who have done de ivf too please? Do you as the recipient have to be on meds etc as well as the donor? I've no idea how it would work as I don't have a regular cycle!

@Marvellouslymadmum i went to IVF Spain in Alicante. Great clinic! And my Dr (Herrera) was amazing! Quicker than most places as they have a huge list of donors ready to go but it’s anonymous so if that’s an issue for you then avoid Spain.
I took progesterone and oestrogen in the lead up to transfer and from then a whole big pile of stuff - still progesterone and oestrogen but also Clexane, prednisolone, aspirin and folic acid.

@Kelb79 thank you! I'd written down that clinic in my donor boys but couldn't remember who it related to! I am happy with anonymous donors, I know they check medical History for major things and try and match someone to your eye, hair colour etc. I don't see the need for a de baby to need to contact the donor really it's not like adoption where people want to know why they were adopted. That's my take anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️, I've literally no clue how it all works as not had ivf at all but I'm trying to get a good picture so I can work out total costs including flights and everything to make sure I know what I need to save up!

Hello ladies,
Hope it's alright to join this thread!
I'm 40 and we have been trying for 3 years now. Currently either 6 or 2 days late (app v two weeks after I actually ovulated) but the tests I've taken are BFN. I have a low egg count and have been on Letrozole for 6 months and seemed to ovulate this cycle, so had everything crossed. The next step for us is donor eggs, but obviously can't start that process until we know for sure - so in limbo (again). I'm holding out hope that it'll just be a late BFP, but I don't know how long to wait as my period has a habit of delaying itself for no apparent reason.
Anyway, hope everyone is doing ok!

Hi @BertLiv and welcome, I've been in the same position, I was on clomid and it made my cycles all weird not that they were ever regular in the first place!! I'm on the route to de now too as it didn't work for me but 🤞🏻 for you!

@Marvellouslymadmum Hi! It’s very frustrating, isn’t it! My AF used to be very regular bit when I came off the pill and we started TTC, it randomly delayed some months. I was just praying this was our cycle - we dtd 6 days in a row (good work from my hubby!), I had a good peak and then worked on being positive etc and not stressing (as much as possible) in the TWW. I’m going to do a test on Sunday morning and then call the clinic on Monday if no AF or BFP. I don’t want to wait too long but obviously really don’t want to risk taking noresthisterone if it turns out I am pregnant…

@BertLiv it's so annoying when af doesn't show! You always have that what if in the back of your head even when you know it's unlikely but some peoples what ifs come true!