2023 TTC 35+

[VixFromThe6ix]

Hi everyone!!
Wanted to start another group thread for those TTC that are 35+.
When I was first trying, this group helped me a lot. We bonded and went through pains and celebrations together. I had two MCs over 2yrs of trying and lots of crying as I was typing many of my posts. Support helped... Especially at this age.
I had my first baby Jan 2022 and here we are now trying for baby #2.
I'll be 40 this summer!!!
Join me and share your story ☺️

Keeping fingers crossed for you @Mummyme87 . I can't see a line but I've got terrible eyesight. How many DPO are you?

Also, until AF (hopefully doesn't) arrive you are still in x

I’m literally chucking money away right now. I’ve used the frer I got extra from Amazon and both have lines. Faint but absolutely there, more than this morning. And I dipped a boots in to water and there’s no line at all. Surely they can’t all be indents??? I did an opk for shits and giggles which is dark and I know that doesn’t really mean much as they get dark as AF gets closer. I’m 12dpo, I think. Unless I ovulated a day later which is possible as I was getting positive OPK for 48hrs. Losing my mind. It’s given me some hope 🙏🏻 praying and manifesting a darker line tomorrow.

@Blessedmummytobe

@Blessedmummytobe Sorry, was trying to tag @Mummyme87 there but my toddler is running riot 😅

I can definitely see a line!! What are the chances of getting all those indents? I'm feeling positive for you! X

@LeopardLover surely they can’t all be indents. And the one I dipped in water has nothing…. Well I’m not doing anymore tests. I’ll recheck in the morning then I’m at work so can’t do anymore during the day. I’m holding on with every part of me. Please be my turn 🙏🏻🙏🏻

@Mummyme87 I can see the line too! Please don’t think there’s anything wrong with you to keep testing! It’s so easy to do when you are just so desperate for it to happen. I have been known to test despite having a full period and no sex after just because I felt funny. It’s something we all do. Sending hugs x

@Mummyme87 i use those boots tests and stocked up cos people said they were good and they’re on offer! I see a faint line too 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞

@Mummyme87 I would really hope for you with so many tests showing a faint line and the dipped in water one not doing so that this turns out positive for you 👍🏻 x

Thank you all so much for all of your positivity. I’m clinging on. Compared the frer from last night to this eve and it’s darker this eve. Very faint still but darker. Only thing I can’t really see is colour. Possibly the boots one. Anyway, I need to make the kids dinner. I’m feeling out of breath thinking this could be it!! Going to put a podcast on I’ve been meaning to listen to and make dinner.
thank you all so much again for reading me wittering on

@Mummyme87 enjoy your podcast and dinner when you eventually get it! Fingers and toes crossed for you! 👍🏻

@Mummyme87 good luck for tomorrow! Fingers crossed for you

Evening all,
hope you’re all doing ok.
I have my fingers crossed for those of your in that tww sending heaps of baby dust your way x
im sorry for my absence life has been a whirlwind! We still aren’t pregnant after trying on and off for a while. Tonight my husband dropped a bombshell after I asked if he wanted to dtd as I’m ovulating but he told me that he wanted a break from trying because he was worried about the 1:2 chance we have of me passing on a genetic condition I have. Safe to say it’s knocked me for six. Before we started trying we had an open and frank discussion that my genetic condition could be passed on and we would never know how severe it would be as the condition can vary from person to person. He reassured me and said we can never be 100% sure of anything but we would face it all together. I don’t know where it’s come from today I feel hurt and angry all in one go! He wanted to talk it through but I just felt too upset to so he’s gone to bed and left me to have space. I feel a little broken if I’m honest he said he didn’t mean to not try ever again but he just wants a break. I know he’ll want to try and talk it over tomorrow but I just don’t know what to say to him. This was one of my biggest fears it’s something I live with every day but he always supported me and reassured me now I just feel alone. I’m sorry this has high jacked what this thread is for but I didn’t know where else to post it.

I've got everything crossed for you @Mummyme87 ! Sounds positive to me! Xxx

@Mummyme87 i can see a line too!!! I have everything crossed for you for the am.

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 sorry to hear you are feeling a bit sad . Ttc is the worst when it starts to drag. I remember being completely bonkers when I was ttc no2. After doing it once, I just assumed I’d get preg again straight away, and I got so stressed and upset when that turned out not to be the case. This time I’m a bit more zen, as it worked out last time, it just took a bit of time.
You’ll definitely get there soon enough ❤️❤️. Make the most of your dinner and wedding and remember you can try again in just a couple of weeks 😻💪🏻.

@Poppy708 so sorry to hear that - id be feeling really angry and upset and let down in your shoes as well . Especially since you have talked about it all before, and he’s been so supportive. It seems like he’s done a massive 180. Do you think there might be something else underlying it ? Like he’s feeling exhausted with ttc and is using this as an excuse?
Did he have any suggestions in mind for how he wants to move forward?

@Poppy708 so sorry to hear what you are going through at present. I would be incredibly hurt and angry in your situation too. For him to have suddenly done such an abrupt change of heart but also only saying he wants to halt trying temporarily do you think he could be having a more general “wobble” about TTC or him becoming a father (apologies, I presume you have no kids already but sorry if I have that wrong)

Thank you @Golaz and @Eirlys1986 for replying (we don’t have any children so this is us trying for our first) I really have no idea if there’s any other issues for it to have come up out the blue. We put off trying for a couple of years because he said he wasn’t ready to have children and be a dad so I was patient and understanding and waited. He literally just said he had a feeling that he wanted to pause things but now I feel I’m left in limbo because I’ll never know when he might be ready again and feel like I can’t bring it up again in case he thinks I’m pushing him. I know he will want to talk it over again tomorrow but I don’t think I have any words for it.

@Golaz he hasn’t provided anyway forward for this just kept saying not this cycle but didn’t give any indication we were good to go next month or our next steps. He contradicted himself a few times saying how kids are part of our next chapter in life and we will get through whatever we face together but wasn’t prepared to continue trying this cycle. So I’m just confused lost and broken all in one.

@Poppy708 I think a frank discussion (if you feel upto it tomorrow) outlining that you find the sudden about turn unnerving/extremely upsetting and need more explanation from him as to what is holding him back at present, perhaps reflect on his past feelings of not being ready to be a dad and check this isn’t how he’s feeling again(sorry, I know you likely don’t feel like accommodating his feelings much at present, I know I wouldn’t!)
Also, he needs to understand you understandably need some assurance of when he would be happy to try again. He needs to understand fertility isn’t a finite thing, so you don’t want to get further down the line and really regret delays that could’ve been avoided x

@Poppy708 arrggghh how upsetting and frustrating 💔 . I don’t think you should feel like you can’t bring it up again , or worry about “pushing” him. This is your life too, and he made a commitment to you and now he’s reneging on that, and not even being exactly clear about what his thinking is or why the sudden volte-face. You shouldn’t have to just wait around trying to guess what he’s thinking, or if and when he might want to start ttc again, that’s not fair on you at all. I’d sleep on it, and allow yourself to be angry and upset for a while and then perhaps try for a very frank conversation.
Honestly it could well be he’s just having a wobble / feeling apathy? around ttc this month for whatever reason, and has developed this narrative about your condition around it ..

Thank you so much @Eirlys1986 and @Golaz I really appreciate your kindness and supportive words. I think I’ll sleep on it and maybe take time to write down my thoughts as I know in the moment I’ll be in a bit of a frenzy and emotional so may not get everything across. I know I need to be strong and be able to confront him without feeling like I’m pressuring him into anything. Thank you both xx ❤️

@Poppy708 hope you have a good rest and good luck with everything. If it feels too hard or painful to speak to him perhaps you can give him everything you have written so he will then have to digest it all and be confronted fully with how he’s made you feel.

@Mummyme87 I'm so hoping for you that this is your bfp! As others have said, I would be very surprised if you have had so many false positives on different brands. Let us know what happens today!

@Poppy708 I'm so sorry to hear that your husband has had a change of heart. I also wondered if there was more to it than just concern regarding the genetic condition, and perhaps that he is generally freaking out about having kids and becoming a Dad. My DH had a wobble a few months into TTC and suddenly declared he wasn't ready, but came back round again quite soon - I didn't pressure him he just calmed down after a few weeks and started thinking logically again. It sounds like you're taking a very sensible and thoughtful approach by staying calm and not freaking out at him/pressuring him to change what he is saying.

Not sure. I’ve done a boots test and it’s there but vvvfl, less than yesterday. I’m hoping maybe it would be better if wasn’t FMU. Urgh.
thisnis my test, you probably can’t see it

DTD last night. Using my pre pregnancy ovulation cycle I should get my peak overnight Sunday-Monday.

Aiming to DTD Saturday as well and maybe tonight (my mum is visiting on Friday-cockblocker 🤣). Do I try for Sunday as well to cover my bases?

Honestly TTC is so stressful. I agreed not to use OPK until the summer (hopefully we are pregnant before then ) but I'm already wishing I had just to remove the uncertainty.

How's everyone else approaching this cycle?

@Mummyme87 fingers crossed for you.