2023 TTC 35+

[VixFromThe6ix]

Hi everyone!!
Wanted to start another group thread for those TTC that are 35+.
When I was first trying, this group helped me a lot. We bonded and went through pains and celebrations together. I had two MCs over 2yrs of trying and lots of crying as I was typing many of my posts. Support helped... Especially at this age.
I had my first baby Jan 2022 and here we are now trying for baby #2.
I'll be 40 this summer!!!
Join me and share your story ☺️

@Muriel84 thanks for the solidarity 😊, to be honest I have found it easier now that he does 3+hour chunks of sleep to get by, I think since I’ve just accepted the situation and stopped frantically trying to fix it and just letting it naturally evolve I feel much better

Fingers crossed for you @Mummyme87 !

I've had a bit of a confusing day- since Saturday I've been really struggling with bladder control. It normally gets bad a week before my period, because if the rising oestrogen levels, but even if I go for a very short cycle of 4 weeks, it would still be a few days early for that. So I googled and turns out it can be an early pregnancy sign. I've clung onto it because the wetting yourself is just so flipping upsetting.

However, at work I was playing about with an obstetric calendar (technical name: 'whirly wheel') and it says that for a 34 day cycle, which my garmin app says I have, I'm meant to be ovulating now 🤯

Again, I appreciate that I should have used OPKs but this is ridiculous. I'm leaky, apparently 0 days PO rather than the cheeky 5 I was hoping for and now I'm meant to what, just have regular spontaneous sex throughout my cycle? Outrageous findings.

Can't figure out if my boobs are a little sore, but it may be from all the random squeezing they're getting from this mad woman. Poor girls.

,@Mummyme87 oh I'm crossing my fingers for you!!!!! Post your test when you take one more. I sure hope this is no indent and it's indeed a bfp!!!! ✨✨✨

@Eirlys1986 sounds like you are also part of the terrible sleepers club haha my 14mos old would wake up every 2hrs or less. I kept hearing from my friends about their babies sleeping through the night since like 5mos old. I was so confused why mine didn't. Was he hungry? Is it because we cosleep? Then come end of December (11mos old) he started sleeping 3hr stretches. I honestly felt on cloud 9!!! After almost a year of not getting a stretch of sleep longer than 2hrs I was celebrating. Then 3 turned into 4. Then 5. Then he slept through the night last week for the first time. It still feels like it's gonna end cause it sounds too good to be true but it's gonna happen when your baby is ready. I didn't sleep train like my friends and sure it took a while but he got there all on his own when he was ready. Hang in there, mama.

@Bumblebee413 sorry to hear about your day. It does feel frustrating when your body gives you symptoms that don't match with where your cycle is at. I know you mentioned not using opks but that's really why I use them, peace of mind and knowing when my body ovulates. I find this whole process super stressful. Hope you're feeling better xo

@Mummyme87 aghhh best of luck let us know!!

Tested again this morning and was definitely an indent. Can just about see it again this morning but frer strike again. Urgh, wish I hadn’t tested last night. That will be me out at 12dpo

How accurate are the easy@home tests? I’m CD24 today and BFN on these tests.

@Mummyme87 you're not out until the red lady sings xxx

@Bumblebee413 😂 “not out till the red lady sings” love this.
@VixFromThe6ix thanks for sharing about your little ones sleep, I truely believe my som will sleep through when he’s naturally ready….sure, it might take till he’s 34 but he will do it on his own 😆
@Mummyme87 I’m so sorry about the indent 😢, I didn’t realise before joining this group how crappy and regular this situation appears to be as never experienced it myself. Although I have had 2 digital tests tell me I was pregnant when I wasn’t (one at uni when I absolutely 💩 myself as a result) - so maybe that was indeed indents and the digital reader picked that up to give a “positive” result.

@TTCnumberfour I personally would say no pregnancy test is truely 100% reliable, especially not until you are past your expected period date, despite any claims they make. My experience with my baby was that I was testing negative on Frer/ clear blues/ easy at home sticks until literally day before period due and then day of due period got suspicious and did a Frer and only then did it turn positive and was very strongly positive.

@Mummyme87 Could it just be a little early so a super faint line? Crossing my fingers for you!

@Bumblebee413 Sorry about your bladder! I didn't realise that was a thing, I'm going to keep an eye on that sign for me too! I know typically you should be ovulating but without OPKs you don't know... So you totally could've ovulated early!! Do you always have a 34 day cycle? Mine are a bit irregular.

I also have a toddler who hasn't ever slept properly! We had the 2 hour wake ups, then the 3 hour, 4 hour etc. Now at almost 2 we tend to have about 2 wake ups a night - mostly due to wet nappies but sometimes down to night tantrums (which are something else). He also sleeps in our room, I think he'll be there forever 😅 Solidarity to the non-sleep club!

Kids do sleep through eventually. My DS1 was about 18months and DS2 I think was 2 1/2yrs. It will come, but in the mean time it’s super exhausting

Thanks @Mummyme87 @LeopardLover
A) It’s funny isn’t it that all these Instagram accounts/mums at classes etc have magic sleeping babies yet none of them seem to belong to the mum’s in this group 😂
B) It’s amazing that given our sleep situations we all want to throw another sleep thief into the mix 👍🏻 🥴

@Mummyme87 ugh I'm sorry, indents are the worst.

@Golaz yes we so seem to have similar cycles! Hopefully the rhr drop isn't indicative of anything 🤞

The poor sleep sounds awful. We had the same, and I was really resistant to sleep training but my partner really wanted to. In the end we compromised with gentle sleep training at about 11 months, and it took about three days. We had minimal crying but lots of interrupted sleep that three days with constant pick ups and put downs in his own room in the night. But he very quickly did 7pm until 6am in his own cot. Appreciate its definitely not for everyone, but I'd built it up to be this awful thing in my mind, and it's been the best thing we did (for us). I probably should have done it sooner

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 Oh absolutely works well for so many. We did do some gentle(and less gentle) training when at the end of my tether and the few sleeps through we had did follow times when we did that I think. However, it just didn’t work long term for us as we kept going round and round this exhausting cycle of sleep train, better sleep, then got sick and needed feeding etc overnight to settle then having to sleep train again. So in the end I just gave up! 😆

@Eirlys1986 I’m also slightly anxious about having another sleep thief! I know what you mean about rolling with it tho, I found it a lot less exhausting trying to just get through each horrendous sleep phase as we were thrown it, rather than attempt to force him to do something he wasn’t ready to. I obsessed over sleep the first year and took a lot of it personally like I was doing something wrong. I was never going to sleep train though, gentle night weaning wasn’t too bad fortunately.

@Bumblebee413 sorry this sucks. my bladder is also worse around ovulation and my period. Doesn’t leave much of the month left!

@Mummyme87 I hope it isn’t an indent, can you check with another brand? This is putting me off ever splashing out on a frer again! X

Exhausting isn't it. I hate to admit that two wake-ups would be a v good night in this house 😩. We co-sleep and bf which obviously doesn't help. And my baby is a stubborn one. I do really need to think about trying to move her into her own bed, but I just can't face the process which I know will be a nightmare. Especially since I will have to move her into a room with my older toddler..

Another, drop in RHR last night 🙄.

@Mummyme87 so sorry to hear there was nothing this morning 😔. FRER seem to be dreadful for producing indents at the moment..

@Golaz gosh it will be tough to do the move into another toddlers room, I can really understand why you continue to co sleep as a result. Sometimes you have to put your hands up and choose the path of least resistance even if that is still hard to do!
@Muriel84 re: anxiety over second sleep thief joining the family, I just have to keep telling myself it’s “just the season we are in” and it won’t all be so hard forever. Even if it’s a few years of tough, accepting it is the best policy I think. Once they are older and more independent things will get easier and we are all wanting more children to especially enjoy these shared family times together in future 👍🏻

@Eirlys1986 and @Muriel84 absolutely there's no point obsessing and some things work for some people (and babies!) and don't for others.

And yup we're all on this thread because we're ready to go again regardless!!

@Golaz blimey if I had another to worry about waking and then resettling, I think I'd probably keep co sleeping also! Two is a whole different ballgame.

I'm feeling a bit sad today. I gave up breastfeeding sooner than I wanted to get pregnant and it still hasn't worked. Trying to look on the bright side - at least I can have a few drinks tomorrow night with friends at dinner, I can have quite a few more drinks at a wedding in a couple of weeks. Silver linings I guess!

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 sorry you are feeling sad about the breastfeeding, it’s such an emotionally charged thing for so many people but also lots of great things about the freedom of not doing it anymore. I think despite apparently ovulating and pretty regular cycles despite BF, if things haven’t worked out for us TTC within 6 months I would likely strongly consider stopping to see if it it having an effect on our chances or not

@Eirlys1986 thanks I know I'm being a bit ridiculous. It's only been 7 or 8 weeks since I stopped, so not that long. And my cycles were weird feeding so probably I'm only just normalising. But I've also been trying for about 6 months now, feeling a bit impatient, and I hoped stopping feeding might be my quick fix

Had a second box of frer from Amazon turn up, must have sent it in error! Also got two boxes of pink dye boots tests, was 2 for less than £6 and I know they’re supposed to be decent.

I had a good cry this morning again and I’ve decided to fuck it and sort private fertility appt. I can’t keep doing this without trying something more.

@Mummyme87 I'm so sorry. Cry and get it all out, crappy tests are so cruel x

I’ve just don’t another test because like many of us I’m desperate and have lost the plot. I decided to do it as I had a chunk of mucus when wiping. Used boots this time, was a concentrated sample after a 4hr hold. I can definitely see a line, are boots known for indents as bad as FRER? Gahhh what is wrong with me? Why I can’t just stop testing and wIt is beyond me. This is the test, the photo is rubbish

@Mummyme87 aghhh i can see it!!! Apparently these ones are gettin really good reviews on here atm! wat dpo u again? I cudnt get any frer for me testin at weekend n got these