Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC After Miscarriage Thread 14 🌈✨💕💙

614 replies

FfoxRedN · 09/02/2023 21:07

🥰

OP posts:
Thread gallery
20
Ttcpph · 13/02/2023 19:46

@2magpie I can at least partly relate to what you are going through. Though I only had one mmc, not two.

it's so hard isn't it. Half of me is praying desperately that I'm pregnant this cycle, but the other half of me is convinced it's all just going to happen all over again so wishing I don't get pregnant at all.

I think we just have to take each cycle as they come and try not to think too far ahead but that is virtually impossible to do when TTC isn't it 😂

2magpie · 13/02/2023 19:48

Ttcpph · 13/02/2023 19:46

@2magpie I can at least partly relate to what you are going through. Though I only had one mmc, not two.

it's so hard isn't it. Half of me is praying desperately that I'm pregnant this cycle, but the other half of me is convinced it's all just going to happen all over again so wishing I don't get pregnant at all.

I think we just have to take each cycle as they come and try not to think too far ahead but that is virtually impossible to do when TTC isn't it 😂

You've hit the nail on the head. This is exactly how I feel. Half praying the test is not neg yet so I don't have to face knowing the chapter restarts. Its so hard. Im terrified knowing twice now it has passed and my body is none the wiser 😫 xx

Original poster
FfoxRedN · 13/02/2023 19:56

@2magpie
I'm sorry you're here. There's no one way to be positive, but here you can rant, ask advice, ask questions and be with many others who are going through the same thing and can offer support however you need it 💕. Have you had any referral to RMU or anything? Will your GP tests your basic bloods to check all is good there?
Did you loose both at the same gestation? Sorry loads of questions don't feel you have to answer them 😊.

@ttcttc in its simplest form, it's a support thread for those that are still trying for that positive. Yes there will be positive announcements on here as a result of that TTC journey obviously, and yes it does bring hope, but we are here supporting each other through sometimes months/years of trying for those, it's not an announcement thread is all I was trying to explain 🥰. I really hope this little one sticks for you and you have a healthy pregnancy 💛 xx

OP posts:
ttcttc · 13/02/2023 20:00

FfoxRedN · 13/02/2023 19:56

@2magpie
I'm sorry you're here. There's no one way to be positive, but here you can rant, ask advice, ask questions and be with many others who are going through the same thing and can offer support however you need it 💕. Have you had any referral to RMU or anything? Will your GP tests your basic bloods to check all is good there?
Did you loose both at the same gestation? Sorry loads of questions don't feel you have to answer them 😊.

@ttcttc in its simplest form, it's a support thread for those that are still trying for that positive. Yes there will be positive announcements on here as a result of that TTC journey obviously, and yes it does bring hope, but we are here supporting each other through sometimes months/years of trying for those, it's not an announcement thread is all I was trying to explain 🥰. I really hope this little one sticks for you and you have a healthy pregnancy 💛 xx

@FfoxRedN I understand and I am sorry ❤️ I really meant no malice at all and it wasn't intentional (although I think it was perceived that way "I don't know why anyone would do that").

Your time will come OP. Will this be your first little one? It will be mine (if successful this time 🤞🏼 x

Original poster
FfoxRedN · 13/02/2023 20:04

@ttcttc not at all, don't worry. It was more making sure loads of others didn't see the thread and think this was a space for general BFP announcements. There's a few thread dinosaurs on here 🤣.
Yes still trying for my first. 4 pregnancies and no babies, hopefully one day 🙏🏼.
All the best 💕 xx

OP posts:
ttcttc · 13/02/2023 20:05

FfoxRedN · 13/02/2023 20:04

@ttcttc not at all, don't worry. It was more making sure loads of others didn't see the thread and think this was a space for general BFP announcements. There's a few thread dinosaurs on here 🤣.
Yes still trying for my first. 4 pregnancies and no babies, hopefully one day 🙏🏼.
All the best 💕 xx

This is my worry too. I think I'll be anxious for 9 month (if I get that far) that it will happen again. How far along did you get if you don't mind me asking?
You always think it won't happen to you don't you.. and here we are 🤦🏼‍♀️. remember at school when it was drummed into us "it only takes once" yeah in bloody disneyland! X

Kranke · 13/02/2023 20:09

It’s such a difficult position. I can never get excited about a pregnancy as my experience has been negative. I get early scans due to the recurrent miscarriage and I’m always expecting them to say, I’m sorry it’s not developing. I’ve had two separate pregnancies with heartbeats at 7w and you’re told it’s a great sign and only a small percentage fail at that stage - and mine did. As my last one was ectopic, I’m terrified the next one will be as there is a higher risk, and I managed to get it in time where I just had the injection. Im worried that the next one will be ectopic and they’ll have to remove a tube. Im 40 now so I need all the tubes I have! As soon as I get a positive test I have to inject with a blood thinner, take aspirin, take the progesterone suppositories, so it now just feels mechanical and there is no enjoyment of anything. As much as I desperately want this, sometimes a negative test is a relief as I don’t have to prolong the agony further. Im so sorry you all have to go through this too, it’s such rotten luck.

2magpie · 13/02/2023 20:12

My 1st was discovered at 13+5 dating scan, unsure when it passed but think around 9wks as we saw a heartbeat just before then. The latest was at 8 weeks, think it passed around 7wks (saw hb at 6+5). Both needed surgical management. Yes myGP are doing full blood & thyroid check next week and happy to refer me. Just dont know what I'm doing wrong and sometimes feels like I'm drowning trying to work it out, sorry if that sounds dramatic 😅 xx

TheBirdintheCave · 13/02/2023 20:18

@2magpie Sorry for your losses. I've had two MMCs as well. It's a sucky club to be part of :( And in answer to your question... I don't know. Some days are better than others. I think we have to be kind to ourselves on the off days and not force ourselves to feel something when we don't. It's ok to feel negative sometimes. You've been through the worst rollercoaster. Hope is hard to kill though. You'll get it back.

2magpie · 13/02/2023 20:22

@TTheBirdintheCave i have seen your name on threads before. I'm so sorry you've been through it too. It's just awful and you're right,hope does come back, I think I'm just having a negative day. I did a test a few days ago and its still faintly positive from the miscarriage and its hard to see, just makes me feel worse. Have you been referred or anything xx

Kranke · 13/02/2023 20:29

@2magpie My first 2 were about the same durations as you. I’m glad you’ve been referred. I pushed so hard for referrals as I was late 30s (round here you need 3 to be referred). The hospital were great and did lots of tests on both of us. The third miscarriage I opted for testing on the embryo and it was a chromosome issue and we were both tested for that as soon as the result came back. Unfortunately the results took ages and they ask you not to try in the meantime which was difficult! Luckily we both came back negative. The initial tests came back positive for aps and they prescribed injections of heparin, which I did for the next one but despite getting a heartbeat I miscarried at 9w and opted for the medical option so they could test.

MrsJGrealish · 13/02/2023 20:46

@ttcttc yep I'm the dinosaur 🦖..I've had 2 losses, one at 8+1 and one at 6 weeks and way too many chemicals. This is my last cycle. Your tests look amazing 🤩 best of luck with your pregnancy journey xx

Welcome all newcomers and I'm so sorry you find yourself here ❤️

2magpie · 13/02/2023 20:47

@Kranke so sorry you went through that 😔 xx

ttcttc · 13/02/2023 20:47

MrsJGrealish · 13/02/2023 20:46

@ttcttc yep I'm the dinosaur 🦖..I've had 2 losses, one at 8+1 and one at 6 weeks and way too many chemicals. This is my last cycle. Your tests look amazing 🤩 best of luck with your pregnancy journey xx

Welcome all newcomers and I'm so sorry you find yourself here ❤️

🤞🏼 this is your cycle ❤️

Kranke · 13/02/2023 21:12

2magpie · 13/02/2023 20:47

@Kranke so sorry you went through that 😔 xx

Thanks, and you too. I know it’s hard to keep hope, but what else have we got!! Fingers crossed for all of you x

Original poster
FfoxRedN · 13/02/2023 21:16

@ttcttc yeah sure, here goes:
1 x CP
1 x MC @ 9 weeks (I think this pregnancy triggered my hashimotos/hypothyroidism)
1 x MMC @ 9 weeks (stopped developing at 8.5weeks, had Trisomy 15)
1 x MMC @ 9 weeks (exactly the same as the last one, had Trisomy 13)

I've had every test possible with just the exception of the MTHFR gene testing (but I'm going to switch to folate anyway) and the cytokines immune system super expensive tests (we'd rather the money for IVF). I had Endometrisis which was treated with Doxycycline and apparently have borderline low NK cells which I have the follow up for tomorrow.
It all points toward low embryo quality, so if the same happens again we will resort to IVF with PGTA testing, but I also have low AMH so unsure how successful any egg collection will be. Hopefully now I've had DH on a vitamin treatment plan and restricted his alcohol intake it will be a healthy one next time 🙏🏼 . My doctor assured me eventually I will get there, it's just how many I can go through physically and mentally.

Between a few of us here we've covered most of the infertility/recurrent loss bases so ask away if you have any concerns.

@2magpie you are NOT doing anything wrong. It's just shit that it happens to some people. There are things that can be done to help but 99.9% of the time the pregnancy is just not right. Im glad you're managing to push forward with some tests xxx

OP posts:
SMG1992 · 13/02/2023 21:21

@2magpie in terms of positivity I think you just need to take each day as it comes
you’ve been through a lot physically and emotionally so sometimes you are bound to feel down - don’t beat yourself up about it
im only in my 1st cycle post MMC and am dreading AF, obviously I’m hoping it doesn’t come and I get a positive result but if AF does come I know that’s going to really get me down

MrsJGrealish · 13/02/2023 21:57

@Kranke just wanted to relate saying I'm also 40. Lost my 6 week pregnancy the day I turned 40. I feel exactly the same seeing a positive test. The fear nearly cripples you. Xx

MrsC2018 · 13/02/2023 22:00

Thanks all, I don't know what I feel really - we'd genuinely prepared ourselves to terminate today so it's a real shock to be sat here wondering if it will be viable after all. I hope it's over quickly though if it's not meant to be though, hope is cruel.

@FfoxRedN they didn't unfortunately - the doctor didn't even know when they'll call me, let alone what they'll say.
@Mannymoomin thanks lovely, that's my worry I'm just left waiting longer and the outcome is the same. Hopefully know soon

So I've been Googling like mad and arguing with my DH about whether we'll risk my life for this baby and and have a hysterectomy if needed to keep it alive 🤦‍♀️ he's terrified I'm going to die and leave him with the toddler, older teens and 2 dogs. I'm not, I'm just not willing to terminate if we there's a chance we can have baby safe is all. Prob arguing over nothing though

@2magpie I don't know that you definitely do need to keep positive, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and talking when you need to. We've all been there, and as @TheBirdintheCave said, hope is hard to kill. I lost 2 at 16 weeks and this one might be a c- section ectopic - still hoping it's not though and I'm in with a chance! Ridiculous really!

TheBirdintheCave · 13/02/2023 22:00

@2magpie No referrals as you need to lose three in my area before we'd get anything on the NHS. We've gone private for IVF and are starting next month :) This is our last natural cycle.

Kranke · 13/02/2023 22:06

@MrsJGrealish Thanks, I did a test tonight as felt nauseous today and due on my period. Was going to wait until tomorrow, but as I’d bought some, irrationality had got the better of me. Absolutely nothing. Gutted. Now not sure whether the fear is better or worse than a flat negative!!

MrsJGrealish · 13/02/2023 22:13

@Kranke equally bad. Disappointment or fear. I'm due on tomorrow too ❤️

Kranke · 13/02/2023 22:25

@MrsJGrealish i wish you all the luck!! 🤞

Daniki · 13/02/2023 22:58

@MrsC2018 that's incredibly tough, truly sorry you have to go through this. The wait is horrendous. With my first Mc I went to a&e bleeding as I didn't know what to do and sat there the whole day waiting to be seen only to be told my scan would be the following morning. I lay in bed hoping it would be fine but knowing it couldn't be given what I was passing. I think it's cruel to leave a woman in such a position when they need answers.
Hope it's good news ❤️

Is anyone on medication to help if you do get pregnant or anything? Support is shocking round here, iv had to book privately to see a doc in the hope she'll give me a prescription for progesterone incase I do get pregnant.
I have Crohn's disease so wondering if my miscarriages are due to NK cells? When I was pregnant with my son i went into a huge flare at 9 weeks and had to have surgery and go in steroids and humira injections for most of the pregnancy then so could be why it was successful!

ttcttc · 14/02/2023 07:17

FfoxRedN · 13/02/2023 21:16

@ttcttc yeah sure, here goes:
1 x CP
1 x MC @ 9 weeks (I think this pregnancy triggered my hashimotos/hypothyroidism)
1 x MMC @ 9 weeks (stopped developing at 8.5weeks, had Trisomy 15)
1 x MMC @ 9 weeks (exactly the same as the last one, had Trisomy 13)

I've had every test possible with just the exception of the MTHFR gene testing (but I'm going to switch to folate anyway) and the cytokines immune system super expensive tests (we'd rather the money for IVF). I had Endometrisis which was treated with Doxycycline and apparently have borderline low NK cells which I have the follow up for tomorrow.
It all points toward low embryo quality, so if the same happens again we will resort to IVF with PGTA testing, but I also have low AMH so unsure how successful any egg collection will be. Hopefully now I've had DH on a vitamin treatment plan and restricted his alcohol intake it will be a healthy one next time 🙏🏼 . My doctor assured me eventually I will get there, it's just how many I can go through physically and mentally.

Between a few of us here we've covered most of the infertility/recurrent loss bases so ask away if you have any concerns.

@2magpie you are NOT doing anything wrong. It's just shit that it happens to some people. There are things that can be done to help but 99.9% of the time the pregnancy is just not right. Im glad you're managing to push forward with some tests xxx

Bless you, it sounds like it's being a long road for you. Will you get ivf on the NHS or not? A girl from work has just had it and they got three rounds because they both have a condition (endometriosis for her and slow swimmers for him) and it happened first time luckily for them (she has to pay to store her other embryos now though)