TTC After Miscarriage Thread 14 🌈✨💕💙

[FfoxRedN]

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[FfoxRedN]

@ttcttc no unfortunately not because my DH already has children xx

[ttcttc]

@FfoxRedN

@ttcttc no unfortunately not because my DH already has children xx

That's a joke isn't it. I'd be in that position too if I have problems. X

[MrsC2018]

@Daniki I'm sorry that was your experience first time, there is a real lack of compassion in services for women that miscarry. Some individuals are fantastic and genuinely make a difference, others make a lonely journey more difficult. The systems too are inhumane in my opinion, I wish someone would just think what it must feel like to sit bleeding and losing your baby and be told to wait days for confirmation. How that affects us in subsequent pregnancies too, knowing that although there's nothing they can do to stop what's happening, there's nothing they're willing to do to make the process easier for you either. I'm prescribed aspirin after 8 weeks and the consultant said she would prescribe cyclogest this time if baby is viable after the 7 week scan, when do you have your apt with the private doc? I've heard they'll often prescribe steroids too so seems like the right decision from your part, the NHS would leave you to have at least one more miscarriage before considering anything in my experience unfortunately

[Daniki]

@MrsC2018 yea same here in Ireland you need to have 3 before been referred. My app is actually this Thursday so not long to wait!
my second experience with Mc was a lot better in the EPU thank god but it’s horrible what some women will go through.
any word on your next scan? x

[MrsC2018]

@FfoxRedN have you been screened by genetics with you having 2 with tristomies? Have they said whether that was just bad luck or anything? I'm still waiting on the PM for my second loss, but in the last scan at 16 weeks they saw fluid on her brain so I'm wondering if all 3 of mine are separate reasons and just bad luck. If you don't mind me asking as well, what's the timescale for those pregnancies? With there being 3 loses later in the first trimester and only 1 with an unknown reason I would have thought that it's not necessarily poor quality as you'd see more CPs and fewer pregnancies. I'm not an embryologist, but all of your babies would have got to a blast and presented as healthy at 5/6 days so unless you have the PGTA testing to check for abnormalities IVF will put you back in the same position you can get yourself into. PGTA is an extra £500 per embryo and isn't an exact science, there's a few studies where embryos that would have been discarded have developed into healthy babies when transferred anyway. I've previously asked to have a meeting with the embryologist at my clinic as they have a fab understanding of the really fine details of what makes some embryos work and some not - maybe speak to them about your issues to get their advice too? It's so hard trying to learn enough to make good decisions when it's complicated stuff and affects the whole of the rest of your life!

[TheBirdintheCave]

@MrsC2018 I'm really on the fence about embryo testing. I feel like my husband and I just go around in circles discussing the pros and cons. I think the thing that puts me off is that it's not infallible. If it was a guarantee that if I got pregnant with a tested embryo then it would go to term then I'd do it... but the miscarriage risk is still there, so... is it worth it? :/

[MrsC2018]

@TheBirdintheCave yep, we did the same. I never did it in the end, for a few reasons. Firstly I never had enough get to blast to warrant the extra expense or the risk of discarding one that could have developed into a baby and secondly I felt emotionally robust enough to cope with a TWW for an embryo that wasn't going to develop to save the extra that we would have spent on PGTA. It's a really personal decision based on your money, time and emotional health. I was also an unusual case (obviously) I had all sorts of unexpected things go wrong, apparently on paper I was a prime candidate for success but it was a long hard slog. The embryo that worked for me to get my daughter was a PN (day 1!!) embryo that would usually be discarded but due to the covid closures and otherwise complete failure of that cycle was transferred. The truth is, they will do their best to advise you but as with all things health wise sometimes things that should work don't, and things that shouldn't work do 🤷‍♀️

[TheBirdintheCave]

@MrsC2018 Exactly my thoughts. I said to my husband I'd rather risk another miscarriage as genetic testing would be more than the price of paying for a frozen round and we can only afford maybe two or three max if the initial round doesn't work (providing we get enough embryos of course).

[FfoxRedN]

@MrsC2018 yes we've had the genetic testing so my gynae said it's just really unlucky!
In order that I wrote them:
Nov 19
Dec 20
March 22
Nov 22
(I did travel between those so each one was after 2-3 months of trying only).
From what I understand the trisomy affects developing major organs etc, so it would develop up to 8-12 weeks gestation without any obvious issue, from what you've described it does sound like your latest may have been chromosomal.
My gynae has suggested PGTA testing if we go for IVF, which I know there is developing research around x

[MrsC2018]

What clinic are you using? We went to Care and had the multi cycle package so paid up front for 2 cycles including frozen transfers with the caveat being that if it works first time then you've paid more than you would for a single round but the costs are fixed. I would also recommend paying for the private prescription and shopping around for the medication, it's about £50 for the clinic to release it to you but saved me about 1k getting from The Fertility Medication Centre instead but there are loads of companies you can get quotes from

[MrsC2018]

Sorry that was for @TheBirdintheCave

[TheBirdintheCave]

@MrsC2018 We're with Kings Denmark Hill. They do multi packages but they don't include frozen transfers so it doesn't seem worth it as I don't think we could afford two fresh cycles :/ I'm waiting on our IVF timelines (which will include costs etc) at the moment so not sure how much meds will be. It was implied I won't need as much as I have PCO and will be on the short protocol. Definitely worth a look to see if I can get the meds cheaper anywhere else though 😃

[Chellooo]

My goodness ladies, my heart goes out to you all you've really been through the ringer...its makes me take perspective and hope that my mmc was just shit luck... hoping you all get the answers you're searching for...

I finally got my static late last night, still there this morning when testing again so did have a little giggle at the cliché of a potential valentines baby!

[MrsC2018]

@FfoxRedN ahh that's really tough and remarkably unlucky. I would say that with the CP you could likely assume that it was poor quality and your body did the normal thing and didn't allow it to implant, the first miscarriage just the normal risk of 1/4 that we all have. Then the last 2 with the tristomies unusually bad luck - especially given that you've been lucky to have genetic screening to confirm that there's nothing unusual in you or your partner that's resulting in the increased chances of a tristomy pregnancy. Hopefully you'll catch again soon and have all of your bad luck out of the way

@TheBirdintheCave I was the same, I don't have PCOS but was always treated as if I do so was on the short protocol with fewer than average meds for my age. My last prescription in 2020 was £900 and the quote from the clinic was £1800 just to put it into context 😱

[TheBirdintheCave]

@MrsC2018 Ooh ok that's interesting. I'll definitely shop around then.

[MrsC2018]

@Chellooo ahh nothing better than seeing that static when you're sick to death of having sex 🤣🙈 best of luck for you getting a valentines baby!

[FfoxRedN]

@MrsC2018 even hearing your experience of the access fertility choice has made me think of this for the future, we had already looked into it anyway but useful to know it did save you money too. I agree though, it does just feel like super shit luck. That's what I'm moving on with anyway 🙏🏼.
@Chellooo yay for ovulation 🙌🏻 xx

[Ttcpph]

I have a question on miscarriage following my MMC in October...

so, the stats say 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage, so a 25% chance of any given pregnancy resulting in a MC.

the stats then go on to say that mmc is between 1-5% (lucky me!)

the stats also say that around 1% of women suffer from recurring MC.

because I was an unlucky 1-5% who suffered a MMC, does that mean I'm also more likely in the recurrent MC group?

i.E do I have a high chance of MC next pregnancy because I had a MMC last time?

im just so nervous and filled with dread of all the potential pain I might have to go through with another MC. I guess I'm after reassurance but I realise I'm probably never going to get any reassurance...

thanks everyone

[CB23CB]

Hi everyone

So I recently had a MC with my first pregnancy.
Had a D&C on 17th Jan and took a test on 28th Jan which was a clear negative.
We started trying again from this negative test.
Today (14th Feb) I've taken a test that has come back as positive.
I think I'll take another tomorrow and see if it's as strong before I contact the hospital.
Could I be pregnant so quickly after the procedure?

Thanks in advance xxxx

[TheBirdintheCave]

@Ttcpph No, if you've had one miscarriage your odds of it happening again are the same 1 in 4. Hopefully you strike it lucky next time.

[Ttcpph]

@TheBirdintheCave thank you 💕 I need to try and stay positive but I have an anxious mind so that's easier said than done!

[MrsC2018]

@CB23CB sorry to hear of your loss
Are the pregnancy tests that you're using, the one taken on the 28th and then 14th, the same brand or sensitivity? It is possible to catch pregnant again before having a period, hopefully you're one of the lucky ones

[Mannymoomin]

@Ttcpph its hard not to look at stats, but honestly each pregnancy is different, you’re as likely to miscarry or carry to term as anyone else.
The anxiety is really real though, and mc is really draining even months later.

AF arrived for me today, and feeling really shit tbh, I should be pregnant, either 6 months if I count the first mc or 8/9 weeks if I count the CP last month.
I think I’m going to take a step back from ttc and just enjoy life a little bit, I’ve struggled a lot over the years, like most people, with quite severe depression, I really don’t want to spiral down that hole again as it’s a horrible place and all the obsessiveness probably doesn’t help in trying to avoid it.
So I’m just going to let my hair down, enjoy myself and plan some nice days out with the teenagers.

[Chellooo]

@FfoxRedN @MrsC2018 oh of course now I've come down with an absolutely stinking cold and just want to crawl into bed... we've dtd the past 3 nights so am wondering if I skip tonight does it really mess up our chances? Just wanna crawl into bed 😭

[MrsC2018]

@Ttcpph Tommy's have a miscarriage tool if you look on their website - it's takes a load of stats from you and gives you a percentage chance of a further miscarriage based on their research and compares you to the rest of the population. Have a look at their pages, I find it easy to read and clear.

@Mannymoomin some days are definitely more tough than others. Being kind to yourself is more than having a bath and eating chocolate, it's also having boundaries to protect your mental health and allowing yourself to take time and space from things that drain and cause you stress. Hopefully a few days with the kids will give you a much needed reset to have the headspace to try again this month if that's what you want