The millionth 2ww

[pinkpirlie]

Just starting a new thread as we are close to the limit on the old one.

@anp2020
@hjudge56
@chillybandits
@annapolis35
@shaker21

Took @annapolis35 suggestion for a name - will link this back in the old one.

Thanks for replying @Shaker21 i don’t know what i would do without the support of you ladies! Our appointment is in a week and a half or so, and we will find out the results then and any other steps that might be required. We are both quite nervy for that but it’s better to know where we stand and hopefully have a plan. I know you tried for a long time too so understand. Is everything well with your pregnancy? I hope so.

Yeah the support from this thread really helped me when we was trying for so long. It is such a lonely journey and stressful. I really hope your consultant will have some good results for you and be able to go through where you can go next. Don't give up just yet! Yeah everything is going ok thanks, sickness and tiredness is kicking my butt!! Other than that all ok and hit 12 weeks next Friday and have 12 week scan on 17th May so feeling like were finally getting near to that milestone and can get out of the sicky, tired first trimester. x

@Annapolis35 so sorry to hear things have been tough for you the past few weeks. I really hope the fertility tests will provide some answers, and you will have options for where to go next. The infertility journey is so incredibly stressful and it all becomes to feel a bit much at times. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to hold it together when it is hard. Your hormones are going to be all over the place anyway coming up to AF. Add to that the stress of TTC.
We are all here to support each other whenever you need. Holding hands, words of support or just an ear to have a good moan at.

@Shaker21 I'm 20 weeks now and still very sicky, having to take anti-nausea meds twice daily. Hopefully will pass for you sooner.
I have my scan on Friday, I'm really hoping after that I will start to relax a bit.
Still haven't felt any movement at all from baby so that really isn't helping my anxiety levels.
Got my downs test back low risk so that's one hurdle we are over now (didn't have NT screening as visability at scan so terrible).
Hope your 12 weeks scan goes well.

Hi @Annapolis35 I am so sorry you are feeling that way. I totally understand how hard it must be waiting and waiting. I've been feeling like this cycle is no different too. I'm about one week post ovulation after trigger and starting to feel my usual symptoms. I know it is so disheartening. If it helps, I know easier said than done...try to find something to help ease your mind/ distract you. When I am in the TWW now I don't know if it's just the constant disappointment but it's like I've put it at the back of my mind. I have tried to focus on eating healthy/taking all my multivitamins/gymming and or making my daily step count. Some of these things just make it a little easier to get through the days. I think once you have heard back from the test results and have a plan (or have one in place), you may still be anxious but it does help to know what the next steps are and focuses your mind a little. Hope you are okay xxx

Thank you all for your lovely and kind messages, it’s really helped. @Jen05p I will definitely follow your lead and try to put it to the back of my mind and just focus on the things I am doing (like you say) and do my best to ignore. I am sorry to hear this cycle feels no different, I am hoping for you.

you’re all right, I’ll wait and see what fertility consultant says and take things from there. It really is a lonely road but it does help having this group. Last night I went out and met my cousin for dinner and it was just what I needed. I’m gonna try and put ttc to the back in general, that I am a person doing nice thing who happens to be ttc as well and not make it the focus of everything.

@pinkpirlie i am sorry you are still feeling sick and 20 weeks! Wow! I hope the scan goes ok, im sure it will. @Shaker21 glad to hear things are going really well and let us know how your scan goes. Hoping the sickness passes for you.

Hey ladies
thought I’d update after we had our fertility assessment. All came back good so very positive. Husbands sperm all within normal parameters. She said I had a high amh level for my age which may indicate poly cystic ovaries (but not high enough for the syndrome and I don’t have any other factors that would indicate pcos with a regular cycle) but she said that shouldn’t impact fertility and means I have a good ovarian reserve. I’m gonna follow that up with gp anyway and get a scan to check. So it has been a massive relief really and money well spent for the peace of mind.
hope you are all doing well and pregnancies progressing.

Ahh I am so glad to hear that @Annapolis35 !! I think I was also the same as that...although where I had my scan never mentioned it to me but when I looked into the results myself later down the line and saw how many follicles I had on each ovary it was on the PCOS scale but I had no other symptoms or anything in my regular cycle. It all sounds very good news and glad you are feeling positive and much better after your appointment! Keep us updated with any steps or next steps that happen?

Update from me...I am currently still very tired, still nauseous and being sick anywhere between 1-4 times a day. I have been prescribed anti sickness tablets which i thought was working until today when they have not! I have got 12 week scan tomorrow so keeping things crossed for that!

Hope everyone else is all ok? How are you all getting on?

@Shaker21 fingers crossed all goes well at your scan and let us know too, I’m sure all will be fine judging by your sickness. I hope you’re ok! Must be tough going.

she didn’t recommend any treatment at all as said everything looks good and it’s just a matter of time really! Honestly I thought I was infertile so just having that info has cheered me up so much and I feel a million times better. My husband too, he told me thought the miscarriage and everything was his fault - obviously it’s not, but just being told that is a big relief. I think some people may just have poly cystic ovaries as part of the cycle but it isn’t the syndrome and doesn’t affect anything from what I’ve read. I seem to ovulate every month and have got good progesterone results. So weird, things you’d never know otherwise.

I hope everyone else is well?

@Annapolis35 ah I'm so pleased for you and glad it has put you at ease. Really makes you feel better and also knowing your partner is okay too.

@Shaker21 so sorry to hear about the sickness...it should hopefully pass in the second trimester! 12 week scan..hoping all went well. Please keep us updated. Pray you feel better soon.

Sorry been a bit quiet, not much going on. I'm on day 7 of my cycle and have my follicle scan on Friday day 9. So hopefully it goes well and then it will be trigger injection. This would round 5/6 of ovulation induction. Kind of lost hope really and just going with it but keeping positive otherwise in terms of keeping my mind at ease whenever I can.

Hey @Jen05p sorry for very long delay. I just got AF so onto another cycle. How’s it going? I took your advice and tried not to think about the 2ww too much and it was better this time. I’m trying now to not focus on the outcome so much, we will continue trying and it will happen when it’s meant to (but I have to repeat that to myself over and over!). I also decided to stop going to acupuncture, I honestly have no idea what’s it’s done and I just thought I’m throwing money around in desperation? May as well use that cash to get a nice massage for relaxation instead. I have day 3 bloods being taken tomorrow and the gp said she would refer us after, so will see.

Hope the rest of you ladies are all doing okay and all the pregnancies are going well.

Lovely to get an update @Annapolis35
I really hope your time will come soon and you'll get answers. But it's positive that the tests that you've had have all been normal, it gives some hope that all that is required is time.
If you don't feel as if you're getting any benefit from the acupuncture then it's probably a good decision. I went a few times since I have been pregnant (since I'd already booked for infertility) but I haven't been back for a while now as I wasn't feeling much benefit either.

@Jen05p hope your fertility journey is continuing to progress. It is so hard month after month to remain positive. I was almost ready to give up when I finally got my BFP.

@Shaker21 how was your 12 week scan? I found the sickness meds helped reduce but not completely alleviate the sickness. But it finally went at 22 weeks and I'm now off the meds. I still feel a bit queasy occasionally but not to the extent I'm sick.

@ANP2020 how are things with you?

I'm 24 weeks now. Finally started feeling kicks last week which has been lovely. Some days baby is far more active than others, so I'm desperately trying to be relaxed on the quiet days. Am having physio now (privately) for pelvic girdle pain, which I've had since 9 weeks and the NHS were useless.
Hoping everything will have been worth it when baby finally arrives. It's been a tough journey with 2.5 stressful years TTC and now a very sicky and painful pregnancy.

Hi all,

@Annapolis35 Lovely to hear an update. Sorry AF arrived but glad you have got into a different head space in the tww. I definitely did the same with mine towards the end of just what will be will be and whatever happens happens. Its too draining to be stressing all the time or not enjoying what's going on around in the mean time. Let us know how your day 3 bloods go and what they say regarding them.

@pinkpirlie Glad to hear that you are feeling kicks and movement now. That must be such a nice feeling and that the sickness has eased a bit more. I was prescribed cyclizine which did seem to help a bit but found i was still throwing up sometimes on them if it was worse. On more milder days it seemed to work. I have only been sick on Monday and this morning first thing since last Tuesday when it was every day 2-3 times a day before then so mine has definitely eased up a lot but still creeping in every now and then and nausea sometimes can be quite strong. Just taking it all day by day. I am 15 weeks tomorrow and still very as tired so no energy has returned yet like people said it would. 12 week scan was good, amazing to see it more baby like and moving around. Got results back from screening and was all ok and low so happy with that. We are having a 16 week scan next week to find out the gender. Have you found out or keeping it a secret?

@ANP2020 @Jen05p Hope you are both doing ok.

xx

I’m so happy to hear both your pregnancies are going well @pinkpirlie and @Shaker21 and little kicks! Glad all scans have been good. Please keep us updated, it’s so nice to hear things are going well after your two horrendous journeys to get there!

Yeah a what will be attitude is absolutely the best way, I’m sort of more like “fuck it” now (not giving up but more it doesn’t matter the result each month, we will keep trying until it happens) if that makes sense and laughing at the absurdity of it all and feel way more relaxed. Much better for the mental health!

Hi all hope you are well. Was away on holiday so didn't respond sooner. Had a nice relaxing time away but had a BFN before I left and decided to take the period stopping tablets. So just came off them and waiting for my period. Then we go again for 6th and final cycle of ovulated induction. Not sure what's next really but taking each month as it comes. I have an appointment 2 weeks time just for a vaginal swab to check things are okay there. Thyroid came back fine so have exhausted all the testing now...looking more and more like unexplained at the moment.

Hope you are well and let me know how you are getting on in your cycle?

Hey @Jen05p sorry to hear of the BFN and the sixth cycle. Do you know what might come next? I hope this cycle is the one though. sorry that must be causing a lot of anxiety not knowing. We’ve had all normal tests too, including sperm, day 3 and day 21. They’ve referred us onto fertility but I imagine that will all take a while. I’ve taken some peace with knowing there’s nothing wrong, we both had really internalized it and it was unhealthy.

I’m doing well regardless, I made a pact with myself that I can’t get myself upset over a normal bodily process arriving each month and that life is for living. And I have immensely chilled out. So enjoying things as they are and we continue trying, hoping it eventually works out! What will be will be

Hey guys,
sorry I’ve been missing just gone/going through a really low phase with all this so been avoiding anything to do with it.

everyone around me is announcing pregnancies! I know that sounds dramatic but literally everyone! One really took me by surprise as they weren’t trying and told me face to face and I just wasn’t expecting it. It’s put me in a bad place mentally. I hate been happy for them but sad for myself it’s an awful feeling.

i didn’t ovulate last month according to tests and the trying has really taken its toll on us! We’ve tried home insemination to lighten it a bit this month but that’s brought it’s own problems! It just seems to come straight back out, I’ve read that leakage is normal etc, but the whole lot seems to just come back out to us, before the syringe is even empty, so we’re a bit fed up as we thought we might have found something that worked to lighten the pressure.

I’ve still not heard from fertility it’s been nearly a year now since the initial referral went in. Im getting really fed up! I’m sorry to come and dump all my feelings here! I think it’s because next month we go away and my target was as long as I’m pregnant for that!

hope everyone’s ok and pregnancies all coming along! @Jen05p @Annapolis35 any updates on your journeys?

@ANP2020 I am so sorry you’re feeling that way. It’s totally normal and the pregnancy announcements really get me down too. It’s so hard and I hope you’re ok. This is a soul destroying journey and I understand with deadlines, it really makes you sad. Where are you going away? That will be a nice break at least.

I have not got much to report, in the early stages of the 2ww again and I am trying not to think about it again. I don’t have the energy really. I don’t know about home insemination as we haven’t tried it, but even after dtd I get leakage coming out and quite a lot… I think that is normal. I know people talk about fertilily cups? Have you tried that?

@ANP2020 I am sorry you are feeling so down, this is a tough tough journey and its hard to keep going when everything seems out of your control but we have no other choice but to keep trying I guess as it could happen anytime! It is hard to hear so many pregnancies and also the unexpected ones and thinking they probably only had to try the first time which is so devastating. But we will get there one day hopefully and all will be forgotten. I felt like that after my 1st as that took over a year but we are almost at 2 years now so feels a lot different and harder as time goes by. I know you mentioned your referral was sent a year ago, was this through NHS? Any way your GP can follow up in the meantime, or any other tests they can do? Is going private an option possibly just for those initial fertility tests?

I am going for a scan tomorrow to check for follicles and then usually they advise to take the trigger injection the same or next day so will see how this cycle goes. As its our last induced ovulation cycle, hoping for the best but not sure what will happen next or what we want to try next. IVF still seems a massive stretch and such a big step so not sure we want to but also not sure how long to wait!

@Annapolis35 hope this cycle goes well for you, fingers crossed. Yes have the same leakage usually so not sure how much actually stays in! I mean I know the myth is to lie down for 30 mins after (sometimes not an option) but I have tried to lie down for a little while but still same thing happens or actually randomly comes out at another time/next morning.

@ANP2020
We did insemination the month we finally conceived. Not sure if this will help but ...
Each time we used a toy to bring me close then pushed the syringe in at the end to that it got sucked up. We also used the syringe to suck up anything that escaped and popped that back in (more than once). Also already had my hips on a couple of pillows so gravity helped.

I know how difficult it becomes after years of trying to keep going every month. Both of us really struggled the last year I would say to have any motivation to be together, and I felt so disconnected and felt like everything was by force and not natural. Know you're not alone in however you are experiencing similar difficulties.

Have you chased up the doctor/fertility consultant appointment line? I had to keep on at them as they kept losing me in the system. My doctor said to make it easier for them to see me than not, so keep ringing regularly.

🤞 Fingers crossed for you both @ANP2020 and @Jen05p

Hi all how are you? af arrived today so I'm out again sadly! That's 6 cycles of ovulation induction done. I have an appointment at my clinic on Fri to get some advice and next steps. Feeling really down but almost just wanted af to come so we can move onto the next cycle. I don't really know what to do next but hopefully after the discussion can see. Hope you ladies are well

Sorry to hear about AF @Jen05p
Hope you get some ideas and guidance at your appointment.

How's everyone else doing?

I'm on CD20 7dpo of my 12th cycle TTC 10th cycle since my chemical!! Can I ask does anyone here get positive LH tests but very little or no obvious EWCM?

Hey I’m sorry for the late response. I’ve been trying to get away from ttc as much as possible.

@Jen05p I am so sorry about your news. How did the appointment go? I hope you’ve got a way forward through this. Sending love.

I am fine, just in fertile period now and I have basically given up hope but we continue regardless.

how are the pregnancies going? I hope well.

Hello thanks for checking in. Yes I can imagine it's trying to stay away from TTC but also not wanting to miss any chance either. My appointment got moved so will be in the week at some point. As my Dr was abroad so we spoke quickly over the phone and so we didn't "miss" a cycle, we agreed to do another round of ovulation induction with letrozole and trigger. In the meantime we discussed that over the next week to get some additional blood tests done which need to be done before IVF . So may or may not reveal something! Let's see. Fingers crossed for all.

Hope the pregnancies are going well! Xx

@Strawb28 sorry , usually I do get ecwm every month during the fertile days so I'm not sure. It may be that you are ovulating during that time but little ecwm. Check with your GP possibly if there is anything to help increase.