The millionth 2ww

[pinkpirlie]

Just starting a new thread as we are close to the limit on the old one.

@anp2020
@hjudge56
@chillybandits
@annapolis35
@shaker21

Took @annapolis35 suggestion for a name - will link this back in the old one.

[Strawb28]

Not at all @Annapolis35 its such a disheartening journey at times!! I know mine was only 1 year but each month felt so long and so heartbreaking!! Thank you for your kind words ❤️

@ANP2020 no I hadn't got to any medication or anything yet. I found out I was pregnant on a friday and had a call back from my doctors (that I waited weeks for) the next Monday about my fertility. I had to tell him I'd actually got a positive test. He was very lovely! I also worried about my BMI but thankfully i did fall pregnant. However, I know this may seem mad but in March I went to see an angel card reader and she told me to start walking, look after myself more so I started a shred program but only lost about half a stone (would have a lot more to lose) and to take a probiotic I just drank actimel. She said to do this for 3 months and by the 4th I'd be pregnant and she was completely correct which blew my mind!!!! Call it chance or whatever but it really helped me x

[ANP2020]

Hi girls!

wow it must be a sign I’ve been thinking of this thread this week too!

nice to see everyone is getting along well! @Annapolis35 im still awaiting and living my life cycle to cycle!! So totally understand.

my updates! Finally got to speak a fertility consultant in July phone appointment. She reviewed bloods said my thyroid is a bit low for where they’d like it to be. But as the bloods were a year old I’ve had to get them repeated so just awaiting outcome. She’s asked for AMH to be checked and for another ultrasound to check for follicles (however this scan was quite unsucessful said they couldn’t really see my ovaries?!!.

so the other main thing is she said I need to get my bmi to 35 before she do next steps which would be hycosy etc! So I’m just in limbo trying to lose weight (need to get 2 stone off) she said she’ll ring me in October to see how I’m getting on.

in betweeen then his sperm test come back fine so it’s be that’s not working right. But anywhoo not much to do other than plod on! But it’s so stressful just feels as though life is on pause (but you’re just getting older 🤣).

good luck to you all with everything and @Strawb28 congratulations!! Were you taking any medication or anything? I can’t remember where you’d got to with it all. I’ll try and comeback and update
if anything changes!

[Annapolis35]

Congratulations @Strawb28 thats great news! Sorry to hear about the sickness and I hope it starts to ease soon. And I apologize if my last messages were a downer - we of course continue trying each month but just trying to adjust my mind frame around it.

[Strawb28]

Hi everyone. So lovely to hear how everyone is getting on! I'm actually going to be 13 weeks pregnant this Sunday! Found out in July just before the 1 year mark. Feeling very grateful but my god pregnancy is very rough I'm been very sick. X

[Annapolis35]

@Shaker21 oh wow time has flown! It’s so good everything is going well and you must have a nice big bump now. How exciting for you!

We are on a waiting list for assisted fertility but I got in contact with them recently and our appointment won’t be until January (It was sent in june), but in the meantime there’s nothing that can be done as all our tests are fine (which is good of course). so once we get an appointment we will probably be put on the IVF waitlist following some tests I guess and I have no idea how long that may be. From April next year we would qualify for it. So just biding our time really and we keep trying and hope it’ll eventually work. We definitely can’t privately fund IVF as it is extortionate. But yeah, pretty much giving up hope and just trying to forget about it as much as possible, as if I think about it, it hurts too much and I get quite overwhelmed

[Shaker21]

@Annapolis35 It must be so frustrating for you and I completely can understand from how long we was trying, it is so mentally draining just living from cycle to cycle. Since your tests you had before, there hasn't been anymore because there is nothing more they can do? Is going on to IVF or something not a possibility?

I am doing well thanks, I am currently 30 weeks today and everything has been plain sailing so far so just keeping my fingers crossed for the remaining time before he arrives with us. Just starting to get a bit more uncomfortable now and getting up multiple times in the night to pee and change positions is taking its toll for the past 10 weeks put just taking it all day by day. Appointments and stuff are all ramping up now to with being couple of weeks apart so is making it go even faster just counting down to the next appointment.

[Annapolis35]

Hey, good to hear from you both. Can’t believe you’re so near the end @pinkpirlie must be excited now! How’s it going for you? @Shaker21

I am once again in a 2ww and pretty sick of it all. Am starting to plan and envisage my life now without children, which is a bit sad, but I realized a while ago I can’t live my life by my menstrual cycle and I just wanna be happy with what we have already

[Shaker21]

Yeah I was also thinking of everyone this week so had to find the thread to see how everyone was!

@pinkpirlie Wow how exciting for you! Hopefully it is the start of it for you! How has it all been going? How have you found it towards the end?

[pinkpirlie]

Hey everyone,

I've been thinking about everyone the past week or so, so glad you messaged. It has been a while also, everyone has had such a hard journey I know it was difficult to keep talking at times. I really hope everyone is doing okay, you've all been in my thoughts. 💜

I'm 39 weeks today. Lost some mucus plug yesterday, but that's only sign I'm nearing the end. It was after a lot of mobility work on the yoga ball, so I'm wondering if I dislodged something or if it means baby is getting closer to arriving.

[Shaker21]

Hey girls,

Just thought I would come on and see how everyone was getting on as it has been a while? How is everyone doing?

@pinkpirlie You must be due around now?

[pinkpirlie]

@Strawb28 I rarely got much EWCM.

Pregnancy going well, now 30 weeks. It's gone so quickly.

Sorry to hear you're struggling @Annapolis35
It's so hard to keep some enthusiasm and positivity month after month. Don't worry if you need some time away from thinking about TTC.

Good luck everyone this month!!

[Jen05p]

Hello thanks for checking in. Yes I can imagine it's trying to stay away from TTC but also not wanting to miss any chance either. My appointment got moved so will be in the week at some point. As my Dr was abroad so we spoke quickly over the phone and so we didn't "miss" a cycle, we agreed to do another round of ovulation induction with letrozole and trigger. In the meantime we discussed that over the next week to get some additional blood tests done which need to be done before IVF . So may or may not reveal something! Let's see. Fingers crossed for all.

Hope the pregnancies are going well! Xx

@Strawb28 sorry , usually I do get ecwm every month during the fertile days so I'm not sure. It may be that you are ovulating during that time but little ecwm. Check with your GP possibly if there is anything to help increase.

[Annapolis35]

Hey I’m sorry for the late response. I’ve been trying to get away from ttc as much as possible.

@Jen05p I am so sorry about your news. How did the appointment go? I hope you’ve got a way forward through this. Sending love.

I am fine, just in fertile period now and I have basically given up hope but we continue regardless.

how are the pregnancies going? I hope well.

[Strawb28]

I'm on CD20 7dpo of my 12th cycle TTC 10th cycle since my chemical!! Can I ask does anyone here get positive LH tests but very little or no obvious EWCM?

[pinkpirlie]

Sorry to hear about AF @Jen05p
Hope you get some ideas and guidance at your appointment.

How's everyone else doing?

[Jen05p]

Hi all how are you? af arrived today so I'm out again sadly! That's 6 cycles of ovulation induction done. I have an appointment at my clinic on Fri to get some advice and next steps. Feeling really down but almost just wanted af to come so we can move onto the next cycle. I don't really know what to do next but hopefully after the discussion can see. Hope you ladies are well

[pinkpirlie]

@ANP2020
We did insemination the month we finally conceived. Not sure if this will help but ...
Each time we used a toy to bring me close then pushed the syringe in at the end to that it got sucked up. We also used the syringe to suck up anything that escaped and popped that back in (more than once). Also already had my hips on a couple of pillows so gravity helped.

I know how difficult it becomes after years of trying to keep going every month. Both of us really struggled the last year I would say to have any motivation to be together, and I felt so disconnected and felt like everything was by force and not natural. Know you're not alone in however you are experiencing similar difficulties.

Have you chased up the doctor/fertility consultant appointment line? I had to keep on at them as they kept losing me in the system. My doctor said to make it easier for them to see me than not, so keep ringing regularly.

🤞 Fingers crossed for you both @ANP2020 and @Jen05p

[Jen05p]

@Annapolis35 hope this cycle goes well for you, fingers crossed. Yes have the same leakage usually so not sure how much actually stays in! I mean I know the myth is to lie down for 30 mins after (sometimes not an option) but I have tried to lie down for a little while but still same thing happens or actually randomly comes out at another time/next morning.

[Jen05p]

@ANP2020 I am sorry you are feeling so down, this is a tough tough journey and its hard to keep going when everything seems out of your control but we have no other choice but to keep trying I guess as it could happen anytime! It is hard to hear so many pregnancies and also the unexpected ones and thinking they probably only had to try the first time which is so devastating. But we will get there one day hopefully and all will be forgotten. I felt like that after my 1st as that took over a year but we are almost at 2 years now so feels a lot different and harder as time goes by. I know you mentioned your referral was sent a year ago, was this through NHS? Any way your GP can follow up in the meantime, or any other tests they can do? Is going private an option possibly just for those initial fertility tests?

I am going for a scan tomorrow to check for follicles and then usually they advise to take the trigger injection the same or next day so will see how this cycle goes. As its our last induced ovulation cycle, hoping for the best but not sure what will happen next or what we want to try next. IVF still seems a massive stretch and such a big step so not sure we want to but also not sure how long to wait!

[Annapolis35]

@ANP2020 I am so sorry you’re feeling that way. It’s totally normal and the pregnancy announcements really get me down too. It’s so hard and I hope you’re ok. This is a soul destroying journey and I understand with deadlines, it really makes you sad. Where are you going away? That will be a nice break at least.

I have not got much to report, in the early stages of the 2ww again and I am trying not to think about it again. I don’t have the energy really. I don’t know about home insemination as we haven’t tried it, but even after dtd I get leakage coming out and quite a lot… I think that is normal. I know people talk about fertilily cups? Have you tried that?

[ANP2020]

Hey guys,
sorry I’ve been missing just gone/going through a really low phase with all this so been avoiding anything to do with it.

everyone around me is announcing pregnancies! I know that sounds dramatic but literally everyone! One really took me by surprise as they weren’t trying and told me face to face and I just wasn’t expecting it. It’s put me in a bad place mentally. I hate been happy for them but sad for myself it’s an awful feeling.

i didn’t ovulate last month according to tests and the trying has really taken its toll on us! We’ve tried home insemination to lighten it a bit this month but that’s brought it’s own problems! It just seems to come straight back out, I’ve read that leakage is normal etc, but the whole lot seems to just come back out to us, before the syringe is even empty, so we’re a bit fed up as we thought we might have found something that worked to lighten the pressure.

I’ve still not heard from fertility it’s been nearly a year now since the initial referral went in. Im getting really fed up! I’m sorry to come and dump all my feelings here! I think it’s because next month we go away and my target was as long as I’m pregnant for that!

hope everyone’s ok and pregnancies all coming along! @Jen05p @Annapolis35 any updates on your journeys?

[Annapolis35]

Hey @Jen05p sorry to hear of the BFN and the sixth cycle. Do you know what might come next? I hope this cycle is the one though. sorry that must be causing a lot of anxiety not knowing. We’ve had all normal tests too, including sperm, day 3 and day 21. They’ve referred us onto fertility but I imagine that will all take a while. I’ve taken some peace with knowing there’s nothing wrong, we both had really internalized it and it was unhealthy.

I’m doing well regardless, I made a pact with myself that I can’t get myself upset over a normal bodily process arriving each month and that life is for living. And I have immensely chilled out. So enjoying things as they are and we continue trying, hoping it eventually works out! What will be will be

[Jen05p]

Hi all hope you are well. Was away on holiday so didn't respond sooner. Had a nice relaxing time away but had a BFN before I left and decided to take the period stopping tablets. So just came off them and waiting for my period. Then we go again for 6th and final cycle of ovulated induction. Not sure what's next really but taking each month as it comes. I have an appointment 2 weeks time just for a vaginal swab to check things are okay there. Thyroid came back fine so have exhausted all the testing now...looking more and more like unexplained at the moment.

Hope you are well and let me know how you are getting on in your cycle?

[Annapolis35]

I’m so happy to hear both your pregnancies are going well @pinkpirlie and @Shaker21 and little kicks! Glad all scans have been good. Please keep us updated, it’s so nice to hear things are going well after your two horrendous journeys to get there!

Yeah a what will be attitude is absolutely the best way, I’m sort of more like “fuck it” now (not giving up but more it doesn’t matter the result each month, we will keep trying until it happens) if that makes sense and laughing at the absurdity of it all and feel way more relaxed. Much better for the mental health!

[Shaker21]

Hi all,

@Annapolis35 Lovely to hear an update. Sorry AF arrived but glad you have got into a different head space in the tww. I definitely did the same with mine towards the end of just what will be will be and whatever happens happens. Its too draining to be stressing all the time or not enjoying what's going on around in the mean time. Let us know how your day 3 bloods go and what they say regarding them.

@pinkpirlie Glad to hear that you are feeling kicks and movement now. That must be such a nice feeling and that the sickness has eased a bit more. I was prescribed cyclizine which did seem to help a bit but found i was still throwing up sometimes on them if it was worse. On more milder days it seemed to work. I have only been sick on Monday and this morning first thing since last Tuesday when it was every day 2-3 times a day before then so mine has definitely eased up a lot but still creeping in every now and then and nausea sometimes can be quite strong. Just taking it all day by day. I am 15 weeks tomorrow and still very as tired so no energy has returned yet like people said it would. 12 week scan was good, amazing to see it more baby like and moving around. Got results back from screening and was all ok and low so happy with that. We are having a 16 week scan next week to find out the gender. Have you found out or keeping it a secret?

@ANP2020 @Jen05p Hope you are both doing ok.

xx