Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

I think once this chemical is done and dusted, I’ll message the gp and ask to have day 21 bloods again just to check… I think I actually had them around the same time that I had a chemical last time (and they were a couple of days later than day 21) so I don’t know if that could have affected anything?

If it’s not possible, then we’ll be sad but okay and get on with life but it’s the possibility and constant hope that is killer for me.

Gosh that sounded more dramatic than I meant it to 😂

@Downtherabbithole83 I think having them on day 21 is only relevant if you ovulate on day 14. Otherwise you effectively do it 7dpo.

I hope the GP gives you some guidance. A plan of things to try helps keep me sane I think! But I do know what you mean about the hope being difficult to contend with each month.

How is everyone getting on? Thinking of you all and hoping everyone has got some good news 🩷

Still plugging away. I was so positive it was going to happen last month, on our third cycle. But nope. Ovulation imminent so here we go again! I am starting to find it tougher, I was fairly upbeat that we'd get pregnant again quickly, I kind of had in my mind that I'd be ok if I was pregnant again by February. Let's see if we can make it happen this month.

I bought Conceive Plus instead of Preseed to try this month, here's hoping!

How are you?

I just wanted to say a massive thank you to people on this board who were kind to me when I had my wobble on my TMFR anniversary last month. Thank you for your kindness everyone.

I hope we all are fortunate enough to get what we hope for soon.

@Downtherabbithole83 how are you doing?

Hi everyone, update from me - currently 12dpo, with periods due Monday! Late afternoon/early evening yesterday I was experiencing a light pink discharge when wiping after a pee, which has continued into today. With my 1st pregnancy (which ended in tfmr) I experienced this 4 days before period due also, I’m scared to think too much into it and trying to just see how it pans out. I’ve also had very vivid dreams the past 3 nights, first time I’ve felt like I’ve dreamt or remebered them for absolutely ages! Again, trying to not think too much about it but feel every little thing i’m like ‘Oh!’ What will be will be!

I think this is a very welcoming thread and is really good for sharing stories and supporting one another! ❤️

Hi everyone. I’m now 16 weeks pregnant and waiting for my early anomaly scan which is next week. We had our genetic results back which were normal, so indicates that the abnormalities that our last baby had were one of those incredibly unfortunate things 🙁 it’s made me feel sadder about the fact that happened but also hopeful for this time, but basically just trying to get through to my 20 week scan (where it all went wrong last time).

Good to hear how everyone else is getting on, it’s nice to have this space where we all share a similar experience. It’s been a completely different experience being pregnant this time having gone through our Tfmr. We haven’t really told anyone yet, and I’m struggling to feel any excitement- just waiting for that scan again…

Wishing everyone who is TTC lots of luck for this month x

@FairyPools89 that’s lovely news and good luck for next week

Hi all,

We're on our fourth month of trying but this is the first cycle that has been normal. The first 3 cycles after the TFMR I was ovulating late and had very heavy periods which is unusual for me. I was even quite scared to leave the house the first two days of my periods so it's been a relief to get back to normal. In the TWW currently and feeling ok - not as stressed as I had been previously.

A lot of my antenatal group are now on their second pregnancies or have just given birth which has been tough at times but on the whole I'm proud that I've been able to feel happiness for them. I have my son to thank for that I think.

Sending strength to everyone who is still trying.

@FairyPools89 - so many congratulations! I found it got better after the 16 week anomaly scan, then again once I passed the gestation we had our TFMR. Now I have a 3 month old sleeping on me.

I hope you can have a joyful late(r) pregnancy. But even if you don't, they are joyful little beans once born.

Hi everyone, my first post as I have found a lot of comfort reading these posts and great to have found a community. I am only 4 weeks TFMR after having my beautiful girl at 26.4 weeks due to a genetic condition and very rare heart condition. I feel empty and lost but also have this desire to want to be pregnant straight away - am I awful for thinking this? No one will ever replace my daughter but I just want it so bad but also so scared of falling pregnant again and facing these scans and constant rooms being told bad news after bad news! My husband and I are not carriers of the genetic condition as we also got tested and were told chances of it happening again were 1% but I am still terrified! I know I need to wait a bit for my body to feel “normal” again but just feel looking into the future is taking me out of my dark moments but also feel guilty on my daughter for thinking of this already! Thanks so much 🩷

Hi @Pickled24
Glad you've found this thread. I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl. Did you name her? My little girl was born via Tfmr last June. Everything you've said is completely normal and to be expected. There will be better days, I know that isn't helpful but 8 months on, I can honestly say it's true. Please take good care of yourself. Sending so much love xxxx

Hi All, I’d like to join this community if I may. I read through whilst I was going through the wait for my test results and found some comfort in the camaraderie and sprinkling of rainbow babies.

My story: I had my TFMR in November last year at almost 17 weeks. I had to have medical management because the nearest place that offered surgical management was over 100 miles away and I couldn’t face that. The day of the procedure was the worst of my life and the only way I could get through it was to compartmentalise my feelings and just focus on trying again.

The bleeding lasted for 3 weeks and once it stopped I started using the OPKs mostly just to understand where I was at in my cycle. I didn’t get a peak but did get a high of 0.71 which for me was quite high. We had agreed (me somewhat strong arming my husband) to try again once I’d had my first period.

My period came on 28 December and I’m yet to have another. I did OPKs from days 9 to 14 (all low) and then twice a day from days 15 to 22 (all low) which started to give me a sinking feeling as I usually ovulate on day 15 or 16. I decided to stop using the tests for this cycle, but had some back pain that felt similar to before I ovulate on day 28 so did a test which gave me a low reading but markedly higher than the usual lows I would get. I tested for another 6 days (until I ran out of tests) with the same higher low reading.

So you think that trying and failing to conceive is bad but when you’re suddenly thrown into a position where you have no chance to try and conceive (no ovulation/no period) it’s like what fresh hell is this?!

I really don’t know what to think now, I can’t stop worrying about this, what it means etc. I can’t sleep, I try and frantically Google for answers trying to put my circumstances into search terminology and nothing really helps. I am 41 so am now wondering if I am perimenopausal which is obviously possible but would I go into this stage with no other symptoms? Has the termination somehow triggered this? Will I get another period again? Is that it for my opportunity to have a baby?

I feel utterly helpless, dejected, and worried that the thing I pinned keeping my mental health stable and utter despair at bay is now no longer there and I’m just going to implode.

Having read each post I know there has been one poster who had a 40+ day cycle. Is there anyone else who can advise on what this might be? If they’ve heard this being normal?

Thank you for reading.

Thank you so much and I’m sorry that you have been in a similar situation with your little girl but glad to hear you are doing better it really is a horrible time and the guilt I hope will go even though I know we made the right decision for her, we did and had a little service for her which really helped us - we got to hold her and have cuddles although she was already gone by this point we are grateful. Both of my sisters just had babies 7 weeks ago and my three best friends are due in 8 weeks - we were all so excited to be on this journey of our first babies together so I need to try and get strength before these babies arrive and the “this should have been me” takes over and that is why I feel getting pregnant again will help but the anxiety I feel after this TFMR I don’t think would help me being pregnant again but I just want to join the club again. Waiting for appt from our fetal medicine team so hopefully can get the all clear to try again but who knows we may not ever be successful again (I have pcos) and I’m deep down so scared of ever dealing with this again - sorry I’m blabbing!!!

Welcome to the new ladies. We lost our bubba at 14 weeks in Oct, to T18. We found out today that our genetic tests are normal and therefore no reason why it should happen again. Just have to keep trying.

@Rumbleinthecrumble I would recommend doing BBT if you want to stop doing the OPKs for weeks at a time but would like confirmation when ovulation has happened. My cycle was a bit shorter on the second one after my tfmr, I was worried I’d missed it but getting that temp increase that comes with ovulation makes me feel better that I know the timings. It’s not any effort once you remember to do it as soon as you wake up.

Hi again everyone, sorry for being quiet on this thread. I wouldn’t necessarily panic just yet @Rumbleinthecrumble though obviously natural to. My cycles and periods were very weird for the first three months post tfmr - it doesn’t seem like that’s uncommon. I was extremely lucky to conceive in the 4th. Totally understand the desire to get pregnant again immediately @Pickled24 and I don’t feel that this means I’m replacing my dd - no one can. But the anxiety is real. I’m 17 weeks now and unfortunately having loads of problems so very touch and go. Totally different this time as the issue is with me rather than the baby (as far as we know) but it is hard.

@MrsScotland Thank you, I may try that as the test strips are getting a bit pricey!

@Dinosaurus86 Thank you for the reassurance that I’m not alone. I’m on Day 46 and having signs my period is coming (although I’ve been having those for 2 weeks) so fingers crossed it appears. Congratulations on your pregnancy and sorry to hear you’re having issues. Will keep my fingers crossed for you x

Hello @Pickled24 and @Rumbleinthecrumble I'm so sorry for your losses. No one understands as well as the amazing people in this group - we're all here for you ❤

It might have been me talking about long cycles after my TFMR in May last year @Rumbleinthecrumble I pushed for a scan and blood tests as I knew it wasn't 'just stress'. I also kept getting super low OPKs. Turns out I had a form of PCOS (lean PCO) which I'd never been aware of before. Not sure if my pregnancy made it more extreme or.. not sure! But I would definitely push your GP to get you checked out properly if you can.

Not sure if it helped, but I was desperate to try anything so also had acupuncture which I think did help my period to come after 50+ days and weeks of feeling like I was about to start it.

I was then put on clomid so that my cycles were a normal length, which I think you can get even without a PCO diagnosis, and (I can't believe I'm saying this) it worked. I'm now 12.5 weeks pregnant 💫 In the context of the situation we're all in, I feel so lucky, and so so hope everyone gets the luck they deserve very soon xx

Hi Thornberry

That is great news that you are pregnant. How are you doing? Have you had any extra care this time round?

Thank you @MrsScotland ! I honestly can't believe it. Physically I've been ok besides not sleeping much, mentally I've been very anxious - it's scary doing something which caused so much pain last time, but it's all I've wanted since my tfmr, so ultimately I'm just so so grateful.

Yes my hospital were really good - I got an early scan at 7 weeks, an NIPT at 10 weeks (which I had to pay for but was cheaper than going private) and as everything was good at the 12 week scan I'm just on the usual pathway now.

Sending lots of luck to you this month ❤

@Dinosaurus86 really hope things improve with your pregnancy. It must be very scary having issues of a different sort this time around. Wishing you lots of luck

I've just found out I'm pregnant on the fourth cycle of trying since my TFMR. It was the first 'normal' cycle I've had so I suppose my body needed time to heal. Finding out definitely hasn't been the pure excitement as it was before the TFMR but I'm hopeful. I've had two miscarriages before too so I need to get through these first few weeks and then I'm sure the anxiety will kick in ahead of the 12 week scan.

Oh girls you are giving me hope, this is great news. It's really tough, seeing the positive test must bring a whole load more emotion and anxiety but it's something we will have to endure for the end goal right?

@Thornberry1 that's great that you had an extra scan and everything is going ok. I am sorry you had to pay for the NIPT - I would 100% pay for it if I had to. I'm in Scotland and my hospital said they would give me the NIPT in a future pregnancy, as soon as they can so around 10.5 weeks. Was it one of the trisomies that you had before?

@Gingerk1tty wishing you a smooth ride over the next few months. I'm on my fourth cycle now too, fingers crossed it happens.

@Dinosaurus86 sorry to hear you are having a rough time, it's just so unfair to have to deal with something else this time

Ohh congratulations @Gingerk1tty that's wonderful news! My only advice would be to just take it week by week. Set yourself small milestones to count down to. Have they offered you an early scan?

@MrsScotland That's really good they've said they'll do that. Yes, my baby had T21 so getting the results before my 12 week scan in this pregnancy was a huge relief. Exactly - at this point the money is just worth it for any kind of peace of mind!

Thank you @Thornberry1 and @MrsScotland. I was told I could have a scan at 10 weeks with the fetal medicine unit which will just look for any early warning signs. Our issue wasn't chromosomal so we aren't entitled to an NIPT test although we may pay to do it privately - not sure yet! We didn't with my son but that was before we knew anything of the world of TMFR.

Good advice to take it one day at a time. Started feeling a bit nauseous today which is both reassuring and annoying! It's going to be a long 8 weeks to the 12 week scan - fingers crossed I get that far!

My period finally arrived on day 48 and is very heavy. I’m guessing this is to be expected as well, and I’m trying to see it as a period of adjustment. Thank you @Thornberry1 for your reassurance and congratulations on your pregnancy. I’m not sure I would be prescribed Clomid, from what I’ve read my age would rule me out.

@MrsScotland I have bought the BBT thermometer and plan to start using it tomorrow. I’ve done a bit of research but am I right in thinking it helps more to confirm ovulation has taken place rather than predicting when it’s about to happen?