Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

@erinnn0420 I'm so sorry you find yourself here and really hope you are at least recovering physically and have some time off work to process everything.

I think in the first few weeks after the TFMR I wanted to wait a while before trying again but once that first period rolled around I felt differently and we started trying. My period just started again and whilst I'm a bit disappointed we aren't pregnant, I also feel a little relieved as I know once I am, it will be an anxious time.

Welcome @Gingerk1tty and @erinnn0420, so sorry you are here 🤍

@erinnn0420 I think I recognise your name from a recent thread that I replied to you on, I'm glad you found us here, it's a really supportive group xx

Happy new year everyone. Thought I’d just say hi and see how everyone’s doing.

I’m currently 7dpo and feeling a bit fed about about the whole process… didn’t expect to still be here 14 months after tfmr 🤷‍♀️

@Downtherabbithole83 I'm sorry it's proving to be such a long journey for you. Have you had any tests done? I'm 8dpo in the third cycle of trying since the TFMR and just have that gut feeling I won't be pregnant this month.

My cycles are quite different since my TFMR - periods much heavier, sometimes spotting around day 10/11, ovulating 4 days later than usual and now a short luteal phase. Really hoping it settles down soon. I have PCOS too which doesn't help!!

My period is late and I feel weird and I am now WORRIED I am pregnant.
I feel like I've gone insane. I feel like I don't know if I want to try again any more because what if it all goes horribly horribly wrong again... and now I might have caught again, it's just so terrifying I am honestly 50/50 on whether or not I want a test to be positive or not.
I have tests in the house but I've been putting off doing one but I think tomorrow/Saturday I'm going to have to do one.

I really hope that doesn't seem insensitive - I just don't know else to explain how I feel. It's like - I'd be pleased if I was in theory because in theory eventually there might be a baby.. but there is no excitement any more on potential pregnancy, just terror.

My TFMR was in June 2022 so a while ago and I'm nearly 40 so I think I just thought that I was now exiting the likely conception part of my life and was going to accept that I wouldn't get pregnant again (and I think I'd made peace with that).

Trust me when I say I completely get this and I think it's normal, that denial stage and trying to protect yourself from any more hurt. I'm currently 40 weeks pregnant, waiting for baby to arrive any day and it still doesn't feel real or right that I will hold my baby soon. I can't picture it or get my head around it, and any signs of his arrival send me into a panic attack! It's a tough process but go with it, some days are good, others are harder.
Happy new year all and best of luck for the year ahead xx

I get it. I didn't get over feeling indifferent and skeptical it would work out until I was out of the long shadow of 18 weeks, the point at which I had my TFMR. My husband and I used to periodically discuss what the odds of having a live birth for us were, and they were really profoundly out of line with reality until about week 36. I really hope that you both have caught this one and find a sense of calm.

@Downtherabbithole83 I get how you feel, I've been following this thread for ages and posted a few times under an old username back when you first started it. I'm now 14 months post TFMR and not even a sniff of a line. We're actually in the process of getting referred to check everything is working normally, so will see what happens there. A friend of mine who has her first the same time I did is now pregnant with her second, and while I'm happy for it, it does sting a bit as I should have a 9 month old by now.

My period ended up arriving overnight (because it's mean like that). I was just relieved and not even disappointed and I think this is the sign that my TTC days are over. I have one living child and I am profoundly grateful for that. I have spent 9 years of my life not preventing pregnancy, have been pregnant for nearly a year and a half of those 9, and have one child to show for that.
I am done.

I'm always going to be sad at pregnancy announcements and people who seem to have had all the luck with big families. But I'm otherwise at peace I think with where I am.

@Lunamoon2022 Congratulations - enjoy your new baby when they arrive. ❤

Good luck everyone. To borrow a bit of the metaphor someone said on here a while ago - it's a shitty road but I hope you all make it to your destination without any more delays or turnarounds.

@herewegoagaiin - this sounds like a lot to process. I am glad for you that you found peace, and I really hope your peace is durable, through the ups and downs of what happens to those around you. May you find a great deal of joy in parenting your living daughter.

Hi to all who’ve replied since I posted! Congrats to those who are now expecting and sorry to hear that others are still struggling too.

Sorry I didn’t reply sooner - it’s been a manic week but the positive of that is that I’ve got to 10 dpo quickly. Now to wish the next few days away so I can test and then, probably, get ready to go again! 🤦‍♀️😂

Some days it all gets me down and then others days it just feels like a process where I’m okay with either outcome now… life is never simple, I guess 🤷‍♀️

Hi Rabbit, I am up and down too. Currently around ovulation but not sure if I've missed it as I only started OPKs on Friday (day 11) and I had some symptoms and EWM on Friday. My OPKs have been really low, was convinced it would be up this morning (Day 14) but nope. Going to keep testing twice a day and if it doesn't go up in the next few days, I must have missed it. Last month I got my peak on day 13 but it's usually day 14-17 looking back. I had a 26 day cycle last month which was a bit short, feel like things aren't quite regular after my TFMR but then again I am also 39 so scared it's menopause looming.

I usually ovulate on day 13 or 14 (according to my opks) but every now and then I’ve been as early as day 11! The body is weird…

I also worried that my cycles weren’t as regular after my tfmr but when I track right back years ago (when I only used a tracker app to keep an eye on when my period might arrive) I noticed I had the odd short and long month then so I guess it’s just normal? It all just seems more worrying when ttc!

If it could be day 17 for you then it’s quite possible your LH wouldn’t have started to rise yet - mine literally jumps from nothing to peak in 24-36 hours. Keep us updated xx

You are absolutely right, I have the odd slightly shorter and slightly longer one - 26 days actually right before I got pregnant, and have had a few that have been 31-32 days too. It did rise ever so slightly this morning from 0.2 to 0.32 so probably coming ok, I am just overthinking! I get that rapid onset peak too!

I am also doing BBT, this is my second cycle, but I got a definite rise after ovulation last month and that hasn't happened yet so I'm probably ok! We DTD on Friday and yesterday anyway so hopefully that's covered it!

@MrsScotland I tend to totally obsess over the LH rise these past months and have totally convinced myself on several occasions that I wasn't going to ovulate but I always have, just a little later than usual. I'm sure the stress and obsession isn't helping my hormone balance at the moment.

I did a private 'day 21' progesterone test this month and got my results today which showed very very high progesterone - 91 nmol/l - which was very reassuring given that I needed to supplement with progesterone in my pregnancy with my son and I have PCOS. Just need my other hormones to balance out a bit I think. There's so little out there about what we should expect from our bodies after a TFMR - it's a lonely place to be.

Panic over, a LH positive result last night and a peak this morning!

The hospital offered me a day 21 test and tbh they didn't write to me with my results - my area seems so poor with giving me anything to refer back to, everything is just verbal. I wasn't able to get the results until I had a phone call with a fertility nurse 3 months later and she said they were 'fine'. I pressed her and she told me 25.5 for day 21 progesterone - but I don't know what unit of measurement is or the range. From what I've read, I think it should be over 30 so maybe wasn't quite high enough?

I also was allowed to have an AMH test even though this isn't usually allowed. It was 11.4 (age 38 and 3 months at the time, now almost a year later). Again, don't know a UOM or if this is ok or borderline not ok?

Today is the anniversary of my TFMR.

It was my only pregnancy. I will be 42 this year and I have endometriosis, ovarian cysts and my husband has a low sperm count.

I think I have to come to terms with the fact that I will never be a mother and I had to terminate my one and only pregnancy. I never pictured this and feel like I am going through a further bereavement, mourning the future and family I will never get to have.

I know everyone on this board had been dealt a shitty hand. I just feel so terribly, terribly low.

@MrsScotland I just had a look through my blood results for AMH that I had done in 2021 and they were as below but as you say, relevance depends on the unit of measurement:

Anti-Mullerian Hormone 42.8 pmol/L 6.4 - 70.3
Ref Ranges:
Age 20 - 24 ( 8.7 - 83.6)
Age 25 - 29 ( 6.4 - 70.3)
Age 30 - 34 ( 4.1 - 58.0)
Age 35 - 39 ( 1.1 - 53.5)
Age 40 - 44 ( 0.2 - 39.1)
Age 45 - 50 ( 0.1 - 19.3)

Ref progesterone, I think you're right that over 30pmol/L is considered appropriate to confirm ovulation but I think some doctors are happy with over 20.

I've been taking inofolic the last few months to help with progesterone levels and promote ovulation due my PCOS. No idea if it is helping or not yet as I've not conceived but there's lots of research on it being beneficial for egg health so I'm keeping fingers crossed.

@WarriorsComeOutToPlayaaay I'm sorry you're finding yourself feeling so low. You're absolutely entitled to feel that way. I guess you've already considered or ruled out IVF? Perhaps some time out doing things you both like to bring some enjoyment back might be helpful. After our TFMR we booked to eat in some nice restaurants and had days out by the sea etc.

Ahh thanks @Gingerk1tty - looks like I was reasonably ok. I read that AMH isn't that important unless it's for IVF.

myo-inositol is the only thing I'm not taking that I have been considering - althready spending £50 a month on supplements but if it helps me get a baby I'd do it! Which brand are you taking? I'm taking a Her 9 pre/during/post natal vitamin, 5mg folic acid from the GP and 600mg ubiquinol.

@WarriorsComeOutToPlayaaay I'm so sorry. It's hard to know what to to possibly say other than I emphasise and wonder if that's going to be the same for us too as it took us 18 months to conceive our TFMR baby.

@MrsScotland I'm taking Inofolic Alpha - it is very pricey at around £40 for a months supply but for people with PCOS it has other benefits like lowering androgens, cholesterol, insulin resistance etc so I think it might be something I continue with. I'm also taking 1000mg of vitamin C a day as I read a relatively large study that it increased progesterone levels and lastly omega 3 fish oil capsules, though this is to help with PCOS symptoms rather than for TTC. Of course taking a conception multivitamin too. It really all adds up doesn't it!!

@WarriorsComeOutToPlayaaay I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this - it must be so difficult. Are you considering any other options? I know the other options don’t suit or work for everyone. Sending love and support - feel free to vent away on here as much as is needed.

@MrsScotland my prog levels when I had them tested in Aug were high 20s and the doctor didn’t seem concerned at all.

So I tested positive at 10dpo but once again the lines aren’t progressing as they should do this will be chemical number 4… just seems really unfair.

@Downtherabbithole83 that's so frustrating, I'm sorry. Apologies if you've mentioned this earlier but do you think it would be worth asking if you could have progesterone to take from ovulation - or the first day of a positive test? I haven't had any chemicals or miscarriages but I have read about this.

They already did a day 21 test and weren’t worried so I don’t think they’ll do anything.

It’s just frustrating as this one was progressing will up until yesterday and then today I’ve got fainter lines again 😢

@Downtherabbithole83 sorry you're struggling with chemicals. I think I had one too this month after having lots of cramps and one faint test at 11dpo which then turned negative.

I seem to remember someone else on this thread having repeated chemicals caused by endometritis, perhaps that's worth looking into?

Ref the progesterone - I think over 30 is best for conception or at least that's what a consultant told me when I was struggling to conceive my son. But as you say, some doctors are fine with 20's. I've heard that nova fertility are generally happy to prescribe progesterone following a phone consultation so you could give that a try too.