Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

@Rumbleinthecrumble Soo pleased for you getting low risk results on your NIPT - that was the most scary bit for me so far in this pregnancy. They did offer to tell us the sex but we decided not to find out. Mine was via the NHS but I still had to pay £295, so not sure if that makes a difference.

The 20 week scan is such a milestone, and I think I felt better going into that after the NIPT and 12 week scan being good. I was also lucky enough to feel kicks just before that which helped too. Hope all goes well @MrsScotland! I'm sure it will :)

I'm now nearly 30 weeks and I still can't believe it. Whilst this pregnancy has been a rollercoaster of emotions, I feel more reassured every week and I do feel such a bond with my baby.

The main thing I keep telling myself is 'time will pass' - obviously! But it really helped me get through those long waits between scans. Somehow nearly 6 months has passed since I found out about this pregnancy, which didn't seem conceivable at the time!! But it's actually gone strangely quickly.

Keep going @erinnn0420 - it took me more than 6 months after my tfmr too and it's so hard, but you're doing everything right - you've got this xx

@erinnn0420 @Gingerk1tty with you both - been trying properly for a year now so the idea of getting a positive test seems like a distant memory / impossibility. Doing everything I can to improve egg quality following the It Starts With The Egg book advice on diet / lifestyle / supplements. Just drives me mad stress plays such a big factor, as if trying isn't stressful enough after a TFMR 😅 hope you ladies aren't waiting as long as me for a BFP and when you do it's a good outcome

@Rumbleinthecrumble amazing news your NIPT was low risk ♥️ I never knew that about the sex through NIPT. Hope time flies by between now and your scans so you're in the clear. Do you just get 12w and 20w with NHS? I was told I could have a 16w as well by FMU consultant at my last appt but that will have probably changed by the time / if I eventually catch

I’m having a bit of a tough couple of days.

My best friend who works in the same place as me was 2months ahead of us and she’s just set her out of office for her maternity leave. I feel so sad that that should be me in a couple of months time. Also feel sad about all the things we thought we’d do together on our maternity leave which we now won’t get to do. I feel jealous that this is her 3rd child and she’s never had any issues, and then I hate myself for feeling jealous.

Harry was our first child and I’m really struggling with feeling a bit lost and a bit like I’ve got no purpose in life? I don’t know if that sounds a bit dramatic. But when we got the positive pregnancy test I was so excited to have a new purpose to my life other than just work, and then doing nice things in my free time. Felt like I was really ready for the new chapter and new meaning. So now I just feel lost, I don’t get the same enjoyment out of the things we used to do. We’re going away for a couple of nights at the end of this week which is something we used to do a lot and now I don’t even want to go, I’m not excited and I don’t feel like I’ll enjoy it.

Just having a crap few days and needed to vent! Sorry everyone!

@jt130593 first of all don’t apologise for speaking on here that’s why we are all here to help eachother and pick eachother up! I’m also sorry for what you are going through and trust me I get it, my 3 best friends were due the same time as me and have all had their babies and it destroyed me - buying them gifts and being like this shouldn’t be we should be doing this together but then I have turned it too well who knows what life holds for anyone so good for them and my time will come - doesn’t make it easier but I try to reframe it a bit but my god it’s hard as I see their pics and what they are doing and I want to be part of that club so bad. I also feel I’ve lost my purpose and something I work through with my counsellor but now my purpose is getting fit and healthy and doing my best to survive - so I think it’s normal to feel this way so don’t be hard on yourself. You are stronger than you will even know but it’s ok to feel life is shit right now but it will get better! You are still a mother and a bloody good one at that so remember you have Harry as your wee guardian! I’m sorry if this is no use but just wanted to say you are not alone and your feelings are not irrational in anyway infact they are very normal! We booked a holiday and I was like I shouldn’t be going on holiday I should be with my baby but my husband said let’s try and enjoy doing things we can do when it’s just the two of us and our wee one will be looking down on us and wanting us to try and live our lives! The anxiety, the loss the sadness it’s part of our journey and one I hope will get easier but I’m here with you ❤️

Love this

@Pickled24 thank you for your lovely reply, it’s made me cry, again! Doesn’t take much these days 🥲
I think some days I find it easier to reframe things, and then others I find it impossible. Just the natural ups and downs of grief I suppose.
You’re right I just need to find a new purpose for the time being rather than just focusing on being a Mam without a baby.
And you’re right Harry would want to look down and see us living not me just sat at home feeling miserable the whole time. I’m sure when we get away this week I’ll relax a bit and enjoy it!
Thank you so much ❤️

@Rumbleinthecrumble thats brilliant news, hopefully you can breathe a little easier now and dare I say start to enjoy the milestones in this pregnancy.

@jt130593 sending hugs during these harder days. There will be happy times again, in the not so distant future. I keep telling myself that too. Grief really is a rollercoaster that you can never get off, but we’re all on this ride together.

@Pickled24 how are you feeling now?

I’ve had a re-admission to hospital on day 11 for more misoprostal and feel like I’ve been scanned enough times now that I could nearly do it myself and save them a job. Really grateful for the attentive care I’ve had though. They haven’t found RPOC, just a lot of clots which have since passed. Apparently I have a tilted uterus which means blood pools more easily - they’ve warned me my first period could be very heavy because of this. Can’t wait (reality is I really can’t wait to hopefully TTC again afterwards).

Just wondering if anyone had experience of acupuncture after TFMR or miscarriage? I have read that it can help regulate your cycle. I’ve always been regular but who knows after this. May also be clutching at straws and throwing money at anything right now when I’m vulnerable. It wouldn’t be something I’d have even considered before this.

@AMothersLove123 sorry to hear you’ve had a rough recovery afterwards! Thats interesting to hear what they said about the tilted uterus. I have the same so wonder if that was the reason my first two post TFMR periods were really heavy and clotty!

I’ve never tried acupuncture but have also read good things. I did consider it but thought we’d give trying a go for a few months first before I potentially start paying for things I don’t need. Telling myself we fell pregnant before with no help so no reason we can’t this time!

I’m so sorry… it’s a vent.

It would have been my daughter’s first birthday today and I got my period this morning.

This would be shit anyway but we have had our first round of IVF and I was so hopeful. So the IVF has failed and we remain childless and we find this out today of all days.

Infertility and TFMR and No Children and Failed IVF. I am so fed up of this absolute relentless shit. It’s just not fair.

Rant over. Sorry there is just nowhere else I can vent.

@jt130593 Ive just seen you had a vent on here too. I am so sorry for what you are going through. It’s so hard but I’m glad we can post here to others who understand. We all have ok days and some that are just so much more difficult and almost impossible to bear. Today is a bad day for me but a better one for you I hope x

@WarriorsComeOutToPlayaaay I totally understand why you feel that way, it feels very unfair and the timing is lousy. You have every right to vent. Do you have another cycle of IVF planned? As I understand the IVF process is very challenging physically and mentally, so you’re a total warrior for managing it whilst you still have the emotional scars of the TFMR.

Thank you @AMothersLove123 I have the 12w scan this week so getting anxious about that. I think I mentioned that I needed a dating scan to have the NIPT and had to explain why I was having it to the sonographer. He was a bit odd, did the scan - I wasn’t shown anything on the screen and said “well there is a baby with a heartbeat and it’s measuring 10 weeks but are you going to have a proper dating scan?” Hoping that I don’t get him again, no bedside manner so to speak.

I really hope I can enjoy the milestones but I don’t see that happening.

@samilicious I haven’t been told that I will have additional scans although a friend suggested I might because of my age. I guess I’ll see what happens. Happy to update.

Hi ladies, I’m sadly coming to join the club. I’ve read through all of the posts from the start of the thread and can’t thank @Downtherabbithole83 enough for creating such a positive environment for everyone to discuss how they’re feeling and coping and support each other. I struggled to find the right thread to join but I feel like I can be totally at home here.

My story. I’ve had a bit of a rollercoaster pregnancy. I had irregular periods so at my booking appointment the midwife used the first day of my last period to date me (which I knew was slightly out). Anyway at what should have been my 12 week scan the sonographer said I was probably 8 weeks and booked me back in for another 4 weeks time. So I spent 4 weeks panicking that my baby wasn’t growing properly. 12 week scan everything looked great so we breathed a sigh of relief. Then after the 12 week scan we got a high risk screening result. At the time I actually had shingles and I can remember taking the call and just breaking down in exhausted tears.
I had the NIPT which gave a low risk reading so we thought everything was now ok and we could relax. I actually started to enjoy my pregnancy. Then at the 20 week scan it all fell apart. The sonographer said she was so sorry but baby had a problem with their heart and we had to go to see a specialist for another scan. They diagnosed HLHS and we made the awful decision to end our pregnancy. I birthed my little boy at 22 and a half weeks and felt my heart break. That was a week ago.

I’m not in the TTC brigade yet. It’s still very early days but I’m hopeful that we will get there eventually. I just thought this was the best place to ask a couple of questions.

Did others experience severe cramping post TFMR (medical)? I had quite a bit on day 5 and then ended up having heavier bleeding and apologies for the TMI but rushed to the loo a few times. And then again today which is day 8, I’ve had cramping leaving me doubled over and heavier bleeding and then diarrhoea again. It’s eased after taking some painkillers and although I’ve passed a few small blood clots I don’t think it’s anything hugely unusual. I’ll speak to the midwife too but thought I’d ask if it’s common.

and also for those who had genetic testing done how long did it take for you to get results? The midwife said 6-8 weeks before we’d have a follow up with the consultant for results but that seems like ages away. I sort of feel like I’d like the results as a bit of closure in a way.

sending best wishes to those who are trying and congratulations to those who are lucky enough to be pregnant again

@Fullofconfusion I am sorry that you find yourself here but I am sure you will find lots of support here.

Our daughter had Hypoplastic left heart syndrome too. I had a surgical procedure so can’t answer your questions on cramping. However I can say it took us around 6weeks to find out the genetic testing results, but I have noted from this thread how lucky we were compared to others at the swiftness of our hospital. It is my understanding that HLHS is very, very unlikely to be genetic but I appreciate until you get the results that means very little.

I send you my very best, it’s an awful thing to go through and at least here you can find people who understand x

@Fullofconfusion
im so sorry you find yourself here as well ❤️
We also had a diagnosis of HLHS, and also physical disabilities.

I had a medical termination, but not sure if I will be much help as I had no cramping after the procedure and my bleeding was very very minimal and then stopped after 10 days.
Did they do a scan afterwards to make sure that you had no retained products?

We had genetic testing and was told it could take anywhere up to 12 weeks for the results, but ours came back after 5 weeks.
I hope they come back quickly for you, I was very much the same in wanting them for a bit of closure!

Hi @Fullofconfusion, I am so sorry you’ve found yourself here. I sadly had a TFMR 5 weeks ago, our baby girl had T21 with multiple organ anomalies. It’s been the hardest time of my life so far. I had L&D (medical) at 21weeks. I would speak to your midwife as I was readmitted for extra misoprostol on day 12 after my bleeding caused me to lose a few large clots. Until this point my bleeding was light and nothing to note cramp wise. They scanned me and found another clot, it came away straight after I took the miso and I actually think sped up the process of my cycle returning. My period returned 4.5 weeks after birth, 3 weeks exactly after the extra miso. With regards genetic testing, we are still awaiting our karyotyping 6 weeks out from our amnio. Although it is very unlikely for anything genetically to be wrong, we were that 1 out of a very large number before so I feel like nothing is off the table anymore. I don’t remember how long they said it would take to be honest. It didn’t seem like a priority with everything else going on but I’m thinking about it a lot more now. I hope you’re coping ok, you’re not alone in this x

Thank you both for your welcome. It really is a place that you don’t want to find yourself but it’s nice in a way to know that you’re not alone.

I’ve spoken to the midwife this morning who said she wasn’t concerned with anything I told her re: cramping and bleeding so that’s good. @jt130593 they didn’t scan afterwards to check if the placenta had all been removed and the midwife had to help deliver it as my body had totally given up with contractions by that point so I’m slightly weary. She did say she thought it all looked intact and I’ve not passed any tissue so I think that’s positive but will keep a close eye on things and follow up with the hospital if I’m worried.

@AMothersLove123 your post came through after I’d written mine. That’s really useful to know. I’ve only passed very small clots but it’s mostly just blood. I’ll definitely keep an eye on it though and contact the midwife if I feel like it’s getting any heavier or more painful. She thinks the intense cramping is because I’ve been a bit constipated as everything is quite closely linked

Morning ladies,

Month 19 of TTC after tfmr, 5 or 6 chemicals in and these have been my lines for the past 4 days… (8dpo-11dpo) trying not to get excited but they’re the best lines I’ve had!

Please don’t congratulate yet as I don’t want to jinx it but needed to share with someone!!!!! 😬

Those are definitely positive!!! Genuinely couldn't be happier for you 🩷🩷🩷

@Downtherabbithole83 very good line for 11DPO - cautiously optimistic for you but got a good feeling about this one! ♥️

Thank you! I feel like I’ve been here so many times before but the lines so far are progressing as they should which is different. I’ve also been feeling a bit sick too.

Really hoping this might be our rainbow as we were genuinely thinking about stopping trying.

Gahhhh Rabbit these are beautiful 💛. Look after yourself xx

What lovely news. Keeping everything crossed for you @Downtherabbithole83 x

@Downtherabbithole83 what amazing news ❤️ keeping everything crossed for you xx

@Downtherabbithole83 they are some good lines will be keeping everything crossed for you ❤️